These days, more and more people like to use their favourite social media websites to get the latest news and learn about what is happening around the world. This leads to confusion and the spread of misinformation more than ever. Why do you think that social media is not a good source of news? What can be done to educate people about the danger of spreading misinformation on their social media?

These days, more and more people like to use their favourite social media websites to get the latest news and learn about what is happening around the world. This leads to confusion and the spread of misinformation more than ever.
Why do you think that social media is not a good source of news?
What can be done to educate people about the danger of spreading misinformation on their social media?

In this digital era, a growing number of people choose social media platforms to spread and update news daily. However, this trend can lead to the dominance of misleading information and confusion. This essay will first discuss why some websites are unreliable and then explore potential strategies for educating people about the dangers of spreading misinformation on these platforms.
First, social media are platforms where most individual can easily share their self-generated content, which is not thoroughly censored and verified. This over-convenience facilitates more misinformation to circulate without restraint, making these websites places for false news thrives. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, various unproven therapies and plots were constructed, inducing anxiety among many in society and leading some to resort to dangerous medications.
Furthermore, content creators usually leverage attention-grabbing headlines and embellished stories to attract more visitors to their channels or websites. This exacerbation may effortlessly deceive those who are gullible and those who do not carefully examine the credibility of information, making perceive these artificial news as facts and perform harmful acts. To cite Soojin – a former member of GI-DLE as an example, this idol was attacked by slander about school violence that seriously affected her psychology and well-being. The navigational information generated by unethical journalists on platforms such as Facebook and Twitter in this case further reinforces the notion that social media are not trust-worthy sources of news-update.
To address these issues, public education campaigns are vital. Individuals should be made aware of the inherently biased nature of social media and the potential pitfall of garnering new through these sources. When having a sober look at what they may encounter, people will likely be more thoughtful in the process of receiving materials. Additionally, stricter policies about the dissemination of information should also be implemented to hinder individuals who intend to profit from the spread of misinformation, establishing a safe environment where people can confidently obtain fresh knowledge.
In conclusion, social media platforms are deemed unreliable sources because it is easily invaded by false information exploited by individuals with malicious intentions. To mitigate these issues, a multifaceted approach involving public education and stronger

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "a growing number of people choose" -> "an increasing number of individuals opt"
   Explanation: "Opt" is a more formal verb choice than "choose," and "individuals" is more precise than "people" in an academic context.

2. "spread and update news daily" -> "disseminate and update news regularly"
   Explanation: "Disseminate" is a more formal term than "spread," and "regularly" is more precise than "daily," which can imply a daily frequency that may not always be accurate.

3. "misleading information and confusion" -> "misleading information and misinformation"
   Explanation: "Misinformation" is a more specific term than "confusion," which is vague and does not accurately describe the type of information being discussed.

4. "most individual can easily share" -> "most individuals can easily share"
   Explanation: "Individuals" should be plural to match the context, and "can" should be "can easily" to maintain grammatical correctness.

5. "self-generated content" -> "user-generated content"
   Explanation: "User-generated content" is a more specific and commonly used term in academic and digital contexts.

6. "over-convenience" -> "over-convenience"
   Explanation: "Over-convenience" is not a standard term; "over-accessibility" or "unregulated accessibility" might be more appropriate to convey the intended meaning.

7. "places for false news thrives" -> "platforms for false news to thrive"
   Explanation: "Places" is too informal and vague; "platforms" is more specific and appropriate for the context. Also, "thrives" should be "thrive" to agree with the singular subject "news."

8. "unproven therapies and plots" -> "unproven treatments and conspiracy theories"
   Explanation: "Therapies" is too broad and vague; "treatments" is more specific. "Plots" is incorrect in this context; "conspiracy theories" is the correct term.

9. "making perceive these artificial news as facts" -> "leading people to perceive these fabricated news as facts"
   Explanation: "Making perceive" is grammatically incorrect; "leading people to perceive" is grammatically correct and clearer. "Artificial" is less precise than "fabricated," which directly implies creation rather than just artificiality.

10. "Soojin – a former member of GI-DLE" -> "Soojin, a former member of the K-pop group GI-DLE"
    Explanation: Adding "the K-pop group" clarifies the context and specificity of the group mentioned.

11. "navigational information generated by unethical journalists" -> "misleading information disseminated by unethical journalists"
    Explanation: "Navigational information" is incorrect in this context; "misleading information" is the correct term. "Disseminated" is more formal than "generated."

12. "not trust-worthy sources of news-update" -> "unreliable sources of news"
    Explanation: "News-update" is not a standard term; "news" is sufficient and more formal. "Not trust-worthy" is awkward; "unreliable" is more direct and appropriate.

13. "stricter policies about the dissemination of information" -> "more stringent policies regarding the dissemination of information"
    Explanation: "Stricter" is less formal; "more stringent" is more precise and formal. "Regarding" is more appropriate than "about" in formal writing.

14. "establishing a safe environment where people can confidently obtain fresh knowledge" -> "creating a secure environment in which individuals can confidently acquire accurate information"
    Explanation: "Establishing" is less specific than "creating," and "fresh knowledge" is vague; "accurate information" is more precise and relevant to the context. "Secure" is more formal than "safe," and "in which" is more formal than "where."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. The first part discusses why social media is not a good source of news, highlighting issues such as the ease of sharing unverified content and the prevalence of sensationalism. The second part proposes solutions, including public education campaigns and stricter policies. The examples provided, such as the misinformation during the COVID-19 pandemic and the case of Soojin, support the arguments well.
  • How to improve: To enhance the comprehensiveness, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the examples and the main argument. For instance, elaborating on how misinformation specifically affects public perception and behavior could strengthen the argument. Additionally, addressing counterarguments briefly could provide a more balanced view.

• Present aClear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that social media is an unreliable source of news. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, with a logical flow from identifying the problems to suggesting solutions. However, the transition between discussing the problems and the solutions could be smoother.
  • How to improve: To maintain clarity, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the problem to the proposed solutions. For example, phrases like "In light of these issues" or "To counteract these negative effects" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, with relevant examples that extend the argument. The mention of the COVID-19 misinformation and the specific case of Soojin provides concrete support for the claims made. However, some ideas could be further developed; for instance, the discussion on public education campaigns could include specific methods or examples of successful campaigns.
  • How to improve: To enhance the depth of the essay, consider expanding on the solutions proposed. Providing examples of successful public education initiatives or discussing how stricter policies could be implemented would add weight to the argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the dangers of social media as a news source and the need for education about misinformation. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that every sentence contributes directly to the main argument can further strengthen the focus. Avoiding overly complex sentences or tangential thoughts will help maintain clarity and relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some enhancements in the areas of depth and clarity, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. The body paragraphs follow a logical progression, with the first paragraph focusing on the unreliability of social media as a news source and the second addressing potential solutions. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing misinformation during the COVID-19 pandemic to the case of Soojin feels abrupt and could benefit from clearer linking phrases.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the COVID-19 misinformation, you could introduce the Soojin example with a phrase like, "Similarly, the case of Soojin illustrates how misinformation can have real-world consequences." This would create a clearer connection between ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the introduction and conclusion are distinct. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided to separate the discussion of public education campaigns from the mention of stricter policies. This would allow for a more focused discussion on each solution.
  • How to improve: Consider breaking the second body paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one dedicated to public education campaigns and the other to stricter policies. This would allow for a more thorough exploration of each point and improve the overall clarity of the argument.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first," "furthermore," and "additionally," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "this exacerbation may effortlessly deceive those who are gullible" could be better connected to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between the two ideas.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "for example." Additionally, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next by using phrases that clarify relationships, like "This means that…" or "Consequently,…"

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms such as "misleading information," "self-generated content," and "public education campaigns." However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "spread and update news daily" could be more effectively expressed with alternatives like "disseminate news" or "keep abreast of current events." The use of "individual" instead of "individuals" is also a missed opportunity to showcase a broader vocabulary.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "misinformation," consider using "falsehoods," "deceptive information," or "inaccurate reporting." Engaging with a thesaurus or reading more widely could help in discovering new vocabulary.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices. For example, the phrase "making these websites places for false news thrives" should be "making these websites places where false news thrives." Additionally, the term "navigate information" is unclear; it would be better expressed as "navigate through information" or "interpret information." The phrase "making perceive these artificial news as facts" is also awkward; it should be "making people perceive this artificial news as facts."
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity. Reading sentences aloud can help identify awkward phrasing. Moreover, practicing writing with a focus on clarity can help refine vocabulary choices.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "trust-worthy" (should be "trustworthy") and "garnering new through these sources" (should be "news through these sources"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures. For example, complex sentences such as "However, this trend can lead to the dominance of misleading information and confusion" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional phrases like "When having a sober look at what they may encounter" adds depth. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of simple sentences, which can make the writing feel less sophisticated.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences. For instance, instead of saying "This over-convenience facilitates more misinformation to circulate without restraint," you could combine it with another idea: "This over-convenience facilitates more misinformation to circulate without restraint, which not only confuses the public but also undermines trust in legitimate news sources." Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can create a more engaging flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "making these websites places for false news thrives" should be corrected to "making these websites places where false news thrives." Additionally, the use of "individual" instead of "individuals" in "where most individual can easily share" is a grammatical error. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could improve readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and pluralization. Reviewing common grammatical rules can help identify these errors. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and enhance the flow of sentences. For example, in the sentence "Individuals should be made aware of the inherently biased nature of social media and the potential pitfall of garnering new through these sources," a comma could be added before "and" for clarity: "Individuals should be made aware of the inherently biased nature of social media, and the potential pitfall of garnering news through these sources." Engaging in targeted grammar exercises can also help solidify these skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this digital era, an increasing number of individuals opt for social media platforms to disseminate and update news daily. However, this trend can lead to the dominance of misleading information and confusion. This essay will first discuss why some websites are unreliable and then explore potential strategies for educating people about the dangers of spreading misinformation on these platforms.

First, social media are platforms where most individuals can easily share user-generated content, which is not thoroughly censored and verified. This over-convenience facilitates the circulation of misinformation without restraint, making these websites fertile ground for false news to thrive. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, various unproven treatments and conspiracy theories emerged, inducing anxiety among many in society and leading some to resort to dangerous medications.

Furthermore, content creators often leverage attention-grabbing headlines and embellished stories to attract more visitors to their channels or websites. This exacerbation may effortlessly deceive those who are gullible and those who do not carefully examine the credibility of information, leading people to perceive these fabricated news as facts and perform harmful acts. To cite Soojin, a former member of the K-pop group GI-DLE, as an example, this idol was attacked by slander regarding school violence, which seriously affected her mental health and well-being. The misleading information disseminated by unethical journalists on platforms such as Facebook and Twitter further reinforces the notion that social media are not trustworthy sources of news updates.

To address these issues, public education campaigns are vital. Individuals should be made aware of the inherently biased nature of social media and the potential pitfalls of garnering news through these sources. By taking a more critical look at what they may encounter, people will likely be more thoughtful in the process of receiving information. Additionally, more stringent policies regarding the dissemination of information should also be implemented to hinder individuals who intend to profit from the spread of misinformation, thereby creating a secure environment in which individuals can confidently acquire accurate information.

In conclusion, social media platforms are deemed unreliable sources because they are easily infiltrated by false information exploited by individuals with malicious intentions. To mitigate these issues, a multifaceted approach involving public education and stronger regulations is essential.