Today family members do not eat meals together. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, many people spend less time with family, especially eating meals together. In my view, it is a negative trend that is creating distance between members in each family. It will be hard to strengthen family ties.
First, the 4.0 era entails an increasing workload and schooling. The fact that people work outside more than at home has become numerous and normal these days. This is leaving people with less time for other important activities, such as sharing meals together with their family. However, some people also show a superficial attitude with their relatives. No talking and caring. And that is why it has negative repercussions on people’s family relationships. Due to spending little time together, only dinner is the time when members in the family gather after a long day. They can share their daily experiences, offer some advices with each other. These kind of activities are what help families to bond and maintain family affection.
In addition, society is combination of small families. A harmonious and cohesive family will lead to a peaceful and progressive society. In contrast, without the positive influence that parents and grandparents have on their children, the moral fibre of societies begins to break down and fractured communities where people become isolated, lonely and miserable. Thus, family education also plays an essential role, helping members understand the importance of eating together, helping everyone unite to build a good society.
In conclusion, sharing a meal together is a necessary activity in family. Because time is limit, family members should spend more time together to narrow the gap between members in the family.

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Errors and Improvements:

"Nowadays" -> "In contemporary times"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is somewhat informal for academic writing. "In contemporary times" maintains the temporal reference while adhering to a more formal tone.
"spend less time with family" -> "devote less time to familial activities"
Explanation: "Spend less time with family" is slightly colloquial. "Devote less time to familial activities" offers a more formal and precise expression.
"especially eating meals together" -> "particularly in the context of shared meals"
Explanation: "Eating meals together" is clear but a bit informal. "Particularly in the context of shared meals" maintains clarity while elevating the formality of expression.
"It will be hard" -> "This trend poses challenges"
Explanation: "It will be hard" is somewhat casual. "This trend poses challenges" is more formal and precise, aligning better with academic style.
"creating distance between members in each family" -> "eroding intrafamilial bonds"
Explanation: "Creating distance between members in each family" is clear but could be more concise. "Eroding intrafamilial bonds" conveys the same meaning in a more formal and succinct manner.
"has become numerous and normal these days" -> "has become prevalent and normalized"
Explanation: "Numerous and normal" is somewhat informal. "Prevalent and normalized" maintains formality while expressing the same idea more precisely.
"This is leaving people with less time for other important activities" -> "This phenomenon results in reduced time for other significant pursuits"
Explanation: "Leaving people with less time" is less formal. "This phenomenon results in reduced time for other significant pursuits" offers a more academic tone.
"However, some people also show a superficial attitude with their relatives." -> "Moreover, some individuals demonstrate superficiality in their interactions with relatives."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks specificity and uses somewhat informal language. The suggested alternative enhances precision and formality.
"No talking and caring." -> "Lack of communication and empathy."
Explanation: "No talking and caring" is overly simplistic. "Lack of communication and empathy" provides a more formal and precise description.
"negative repercussions on people’s family relationships" -> "adverse effects on familial relationships"
Explanation: "Negative repercussions on people’s family relationships" could be more succinct. "Adverse effects on familial relationships" is a concise and formal alternative.
"Due to spending little time together" -> "As a result of limited shared time"
Explanation: "Due to spending little time together" is somewhat informal. "As a result of limited shared time" offers a more formal expression.
"only dinner is the time" -> "only dinner provides an opportunity"
Explanation: "Only dinner is the time" is slightly awkward. "Only dinner provides an opportunity" is clearer and more formal.
"daily experiences" -> "daily experiences and insights"
Explanation: Adding "insights" enhances the comprehensiveness of the phrase, making it more formal.
"These kind of activities" -> "Such activities"
Explanation: "These kind of activities" is grammatically incorrect. "Such activities" is a more suitable and grammatically correct alternative.
"In addition, society is combination of small families." -> "Furthermore, society comprises small family units."
Explanation: "In addition, society is combination of small families" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Furthermore, society comprises small family units" is more precise and formal.
"A harmonious and cohesive family" -> "A cohesive and harmonious familial unit"
Explanation: Rearranging the adjectives improves the flow and formality of the phrase.
"the moral fibre of societies begins to break down" -> "the moral fabric of societies begins to deteriorate"
Explanation: "The moral fibre of societies begins to break down" is somewhat informal. "The moral fabric of societies begins to deteriorate" offers a more formal expression.
"fractured communities where people become isolated, lonely and miserable" -> "fragmented communities characterized by isolation, loneliness, and misery"
Explanation: The original phrase is somewhat informal. The suggested alternative is more formal and maintains clarity.
"helping everyone unite to build a good society" -> "facilitating collective efforts towards societal betterment"
Explanation: "Helping everyone unite to build a good society" could be more concise and formal. "Facilitating collective efforts towards societal betterment" achieves this.
"Because time is limit" -> "Given the constraints of time"
Explanation: "Because time is limit" is grammatically incorrect. "Given the constraints of time" offers a more formal and grammatically correct expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the prompt, arguing that the trend of not eating meals together is a negative one due to its impact on family relationships and society.
- The essay acknowledges the trend of family members not eating meals together, citing modern workloads and societal changes as contributing factors. It argues that this trend has negative repercussions on family relationships and society.
- The essay could improve by providing a more balanced discussion of the positive aspects of not eating meals together and how this trend might benefit individuals or society in some contexts.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should consider discussing the potential positive aspects of not eating meals together, such as individual autonomy or the flexibility that modern work and life demand. By presenting a more balanced view, the essay would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the complexities of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that not eating meals together is a negative trend.
- The essay clearly states that it is a negative trend that creates distance between family members.
- The position is consistent throughout the essay, with each paragraph reinforcing the negative impact of not eating meals together on family relationships and society.
- How to improve: To further improve, the essay could strengthen its position by providing more specific examples or statistics to support the argument. This would enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of the essay’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and extends ideas but lacks sufficient support.
- Ideas are presented such as the impact on family relationships and society, but these ideas are not fully developed with specific examples or evidence.
- The essay would benefit from supporting each idea with concrete examples or data to illustrate the points made.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should incorporate specific examples or case studies that show the impact of not eating meals together on family relationships or societal cohesion. This would strengthen the argument and provide a more persuasive essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but has some minor deviations.
- The essay discusses both the impact on family relationships and the impact on society, which is relevant to the topic.
- However, there are some instances where the connection to the topic is not fully clear, such as the mention of the 4.0 era.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that all examples and points made directly relate to the impact of not eating meals together on family relationships and society. Avoiding tangential references like the "4.0 era" will help maintain coherence and relevance.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively argues that not eating meals together is a negative trend due to its impact on family relationships and society, it could benefit from a more balanced discussion and stronger supporting evidence. By providing specific examples and maintaining a clear focus throughout, the essay could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It starts with an introduction stating the writer’s opinion, followed by two body paragraphs providing reasons supporting this viewpoint, and ends with a concise conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect: the impact of modern lifestyle on family time and the importance of family cohesion for society.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider providing smoother transitions between paragraphs. For instance, linking the idea of modern lifestyle’s impact on family time to the subsequent paragraph discussing family cohesion could improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into three paragraphs, each addressing a different aspect related to the topic. However, the second paragraph could benefit from further subdivision to improve clarity and focus. It covers both the impact of modern lifestyle and the importance of family ties, which could be more effectively conveyed through separate paragraphs.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down the second paragraph into two distinct paragraphs: one discussing the impact of modern lifestyle and another elaborating on the significance of family cohesion. This would enhance readability and organization.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("first," "in addition," "thus," "in conclusion") to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, there is scope for further diversification and elaboration of cohesive devices to strengthen coherence.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("this," "these"), synonyms, and parallel structures, to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, encompassing terms such as "strengthen," "superficial," "repercussions," "harmonious," "cohesive," "fractured," and "moral fibre." These terms contribute to the overall coherence and depth of the essay by articulating various aspects of the topic.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated synonyms or alternative expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "family," experiment with synonyms like "kin," "relatives," or "household" to avoid redundancy and add nuance.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary with reasonable precision, though there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "4.0 era" may not be universally understood and could benefit from clarification or substitution with a more universally recognized term. Furthermore, the term "superficial attitude" could be more precisely replaced with a descriptor that captures the lack of depth or meaningful interaction.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision by opting for terms that accurately convey the intended meaning without ambiguity. Consider explaining specialized terms like "4.0 era" if they are crucial to the essay’s context, and replace general phrases like "superficial attitude" with descriptors like "shallow interactions" or "lack of genuine engagement" for clearer communication.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits generally correct spelling throughout, with only minor errors such as "4.0" instead of "digital" or "modern" era, and the misspelling of "advices" as "advices." These errors do not significantly detract from comprehension but indicate a need for closer attention to detail.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider employing spell-checking tools or proofreading techniques to catch and correct minor errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words to minimize recurring mistakes and enhance overall clarity and professionalism.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. There is an attempt to vary sentence structures with some success. For instance, the essay utilizes simple sentences like "In my view, it is a negative trend" alongside more complex structures such as "Due to spending little time together, only dinner is the time when members in the family gather after a long day." However, there is a tendency towards simpler structures overall.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and variety, consider incorporating a wider array of complex sentence structures, including conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, and relative clauses. For instance, you could introduce sentences with introductory phrases or clauses to add complexity and depth to your arguments.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates adequate grammar and punctuation accuracy. However, there are some instances of errors throughout the text. For example, "The fact that people work outside more than at home has become numerous and normal these days" contains a subject-verb agreement error ("has become" should be "have become"). Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and inconsistent use of capitalization.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation rules. Proofread your writing carefully to identify and correct errors. Consider using grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers or instructors to improve accuracy. Additionally, review grammar and punctuation rules regularly to reinforce your understanding and application of these concepts.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary times, many individuals devote less time to familial activities, particularly in the context of shared meals. This trend poses challenges, eroding intrafamilial bonds and has become prevalent and normalized. This phenomenon results in reduced time for other significant pursuits. Moreover, some individuals demonstrate superficiality in their interactions with relatives, leading to a lack of communication and empathy, which has adverse effects on familial relationships.

As a result of limited shared time, only dinner provides an opportunity for family members to gather after a long day and connect. During this time, they can share daily experiences and insights, offering advice and support to one another. Such activities are crucial for fostering familial bonds and maintaining family affection.

Furthermore, society comprises small family units, and a cohesive and harmonious familial unit is essential for societal well-being. Without the positive influence of family interactions, the moral fabric of societies begins to deteriorate, leading to fragmented communities characterized by isolation, loneliness, and misery. Therefore, facilitating collective efforts towards societal betterment starts with strengthening familial relationships.

Given the constraints of time, it is imperative that family members prioritize spending quality time together, particularly during meals, to nurture and strengthen their bonds. This will not only benefit individual families but also contribute to building a more cohesive and harmonious society.