Today foods travel thousands of miles from the farm to the consumers Why is this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

It is true that it often takes an extremely long distance to transport foods from farms to the consumers. This essay will focus on exploring some certain causes behind this phenomenon and discuss why this trend is both positive and negative.

There are several factors responsible for why foods now can be transported thousands of miles. Chief among these is the invention and continuous upgrade of modern means of transportation, facilitating long-distance shipment of staple. To illustrate, the modern cargo ships, trains and airlines have allowed foods to be distributed to urban areas as well as international markets fast and conveniently in high speed and quantity. Another point worth mentioning is that people now tend to apply top-notch techniques in food preservation, meaning that food producers are able to prolong the storage of fresh produce. This can be attributed to the use of liquid nitrogen and freezers, which play a vital role in preventing the activities of microorganism in perishable products. As a result, those foods can be maintained safe and fresh for consumption for a long period.

From my perspective, distributing farming food to far places can carry both positive and negative implications. On the positive side, the ability of dispatching foods to other regions can give a rise to local economic growth. Specifically, farmers have opportunities to be exposed to competitive markets, probably helping them improve their overall incomes. This can lead to economic development among local people. Concerning the drawbacks, dispatching foods in long distances may pose a great threat to the environment. This can stem from the excessive emission of carbon dioxide from vehicles used for transportation, which significantly contribute to the severity of global warming.

In conclusion, the development of modern technology is the primary reason which explains the capability of farming food distribution thousands of miles. While this trend can boost the local economy, it can also have a detrimental effect on the environment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is true that it often takes an extremely long distance" -> "It is indeed often a considerable distance"
Explanation: The phrase "an extremely long distance" is redundant and informal. "A considerable distance" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic tone better.
"This essay will focus on exploring some certain causes" -> "This essay will examine specific causes"
Explanation: "Some certain" is redundant and informal. "Specific" is more precise and academically appropriate.
"why this trend is both positive and negative" -> "why this trend has both positive and negative implications"
Explanation: Adding "implications" clarifies the nature of the effects, making the statement more specific and formal.
"foods now can be transported" -> "foods are now transported"
Explanation: "Can" implies possibility, whereas "are" indicates a factual state, which is more suitable for an academic context.
"in high speed and quantity" -> "at high speeds and in large quantities"
Explanation: "High speed and quantity" is awkward and informal. "At high speeds and in large quantities" is more formal and grammatically correct.
"people now tend to apply top-notch techniques" -> "there is a trend towards the application of advanced techniques"
Explanation: "People now tend to apply" is informal and vague. "There is a trend towards the application of advanced techniques" is more precise and formal.
"meaning that food producers are able to prolong the storage of fresh produce" -> "enabling food producers to extend the shelf life of fresh produce"
Explanation: "Prolong the storage" is awkward and unclear. "Extend the shelf life" is a more precise and commonly used term in academic writing.
"the activities of microorganism" -> "the activities of microorganisms"
Explanation: "Microorganism" should be plural as it refers to multiple microorganisms.
"those foods can be maintained safe and fresh" -> "these foods can remain safe and fresh"
Explanation: "Those foods" is less formal and less precise than "these foods." "Remain" is also more appropriate than "be maintained" in this context.
"give a rise to" -> "lead to"
Explanation: "Give a rise to" is an idiom and less formal. "Lead to" is straightforward and suitable for academic writing.
"probably helping them improve their overall incomes" -> "potentially enhancing their overall income"
Explanation: "Probably" is informal and less precise. "Potentially" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"Concerning the drawbacks" -> "Regarding the drawbacks"
Explanation: "Concerning" is less formal and slightly archaic. "Regarding" is more commonly used in academic texts.
"dispatching foods in long distances" -> "transporting foods over long distances"
Explanation: "Dispatching foods in long distances" is awkward and incorrect. "Transporting foods over long distances" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"which significantly contribute to the severity of global warming" -> "which significantly contribute to the severity of global warming"
Explanation: This is a typographical error, correcting it to maintain the integrity of the text.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it explores the reasons why food travels long distances and discusses the positive and negative aspects of this trend. The first paragraph outlines the causes, such as advancements in transportation and food preservation techniques, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into the implications of this trend. The inclusion of specific examples, like modern cargo ships and preservation methods, strengthens the response.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the causes and their implications. For instance, after discussing transportation advancements, the essay could directly link these to the economic benefits or environmental impacts, providing a clearer narrative flow.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position, acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of food transportation. The writer clearly states their perspective in the introduction and reiterates it in the conclusion. However, the balance between the two sides could be more pronounced; the positive implications are discussed in more detail than the negative ones, which could lead to a perception of bias.
- How to improve: To present a more balanced view, the essay could allocate equal weight to both sides. This could involve expanding on the negative implications, such as providing more examples of environmental impacts or discussing potential solutions to mitigate these issues.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-structured ideas, particularly in the discussion of transportation advancements and their economic benefits. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the use of liquid nitrogen for food preservation. However, some ideas could be further extended; for example, the discussion on environmental impacts could include specific statistics or studies to substantiate claims about carbon emissions.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer could incorporate more detailed examples and evidence. This could involve citing specific studies on the environmental impact of food transportation or providing data on economic growth in regions benefiting from food exports.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for long-distance food transport and its implications. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For instance, the phrase "distributing farming food to far places" could be more clearly articulated as "transporting food products from farms to consumers" to maintain a direct focus on the consumer aspect of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance focus, the writer should ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate back to the prompt. This can be achieved by consistently referencing the consumer perspective throughout the discussion and avoiding vague phrases that may lead to ambiguity.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the complexities of food transportation. With some adjustments to balance the discussion and strengthen the support for ideas, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s intent. The body paragraphs are organized into distinct sections that address the causes of food transportation and the associated positive and negative implications. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the factors enabling long-distance food transport, while the second body paragraph contrasts the benefits and drawbacks of this trend. However, the transition between the discussion of causes and implications could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the causes, a sentence like "Having established the reasons for this trend, it is essential to examine its implications" could provide a clearer connection to the next section.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly delineated. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each section, as the current structure may lead to some confusion regarding the shift from positive to negative implications.
- How to improve: Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, in the second body paragraph, a topic sentence like "While the long-distance distribution of food can stimulate local economies, it also poses significant environmental challenges" would clarify the focus of the paragraph and improve coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices, such as "chief among these," "to illustrate," and "on the positive side." These phrases help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some connections between sentences could be more explicit. For instance, the link between the environmental impact and the discussion of economic growth could be better articulated.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "however," "in contrast," or "consequently" to clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can enhance the flow of ideas and reduce repetition.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, refining the transitions between ideas, enhancing paragraph topic sentences, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the clarity and effectiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "phenomenon," "facilitating," "top-notch techniques," and "detrimental effect." These choices indicate a solid understanding of topic-specific language and an ability to convey complex ideas. However, phrases such as "distributing farming food" could be expressed more naturally as "distributing agricultural products" or "transporting food from farms."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For example, instead of repeating "foods," the writer could use "produce," "agricultural products," or "edibles." Additionally, exploring idiomatic expressions or collocations related to the topic could enrich the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "long distances" is somewhat vague; specifying "long distances" as "thousands of miles" in the context of the essay would enhance clarity. Additionally, the term "dispatching foods in long distances" is awkward; "transporting food over long distances" would be more precise.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on context and specificity. Using more precise terms and phrases will help convey the intended meaning more clearly. For instance, instead of "the capability of farming food distribution," the writer could say "the capability of distributing agricultural products."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the majority of the text. Words like "transport," "environment," and "microorganism" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is generally accurate, the writer should continue to proofread their work for any potential typos or overlooked errors. Utilizing spelling check tools or engaging in regular spelling practice can further enhance spelling skills. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can be beneficial.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7. To improve further, the writer should focus on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy through diligent proofreading.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "the invention and continuous upgrade of modern means of transportation" and "this can be attributed to the use of liquid nitrogen and freezers" showcases an ability to construct intricate ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, such as starting multiple sentences with "This can" or "Another point worth mentioning is," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting with "Another point worth mentioning is," the writer could use "Additionally," or "Moreover," to introduce new ideas. Furthermore, integrating more conditional sentences or participial phrases could enhance the complexity and fluidity of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "facilitating long-distance shipment of staple" could be improved by specifying "staple foods" for clarity. Additionally, the sentence "which significantly contribute to the severity of global warming" should use "contributes" to agree with the singular subject "emission." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are some areas where commas could enhance readability, such as before "which play a vital role" in the sentence discussing food preservation techniques.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should double-check subject-verb agreement and ensure that nouns are clearly defined. Practicing sentence diagramming could help identify and correct agreement errors. For punctuation, reviewing rules regarding the use of commas in complex sentences would be beneficial. Reading the essay aloud may also help the writer catch any awkward phrasing or punctuation issues that could disrupt the flow of ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that it often takes an extremely long distance to transport foods from farms to consumers. This essay will focus on exploring certain causes behind this phenomenon and discuss why this trend has both positive and negative implications.

There are several factors responsible for why foods can now be transported thousands of miles. Chief among these is the invention and continuous upgrade of modern means of transportation, facilitating long-distance shipment of staples. To illustrate, modern cargo ships, trains, and airlines have allowed foods to be distributed to urban areas as well as international markets quickly and conveniently, at high speeds and in large quantities. Another point worth mentioning is that people now tend to apply top-notch techniques in food preservation, meaning that food producers are able to prolong the shelf life of fresh produce. This can be attributed to the use of liquid nitrogen and freezers, which play a vital role in preventing the activities of microorganisms in perishable products. As a result, these foods can remain safe and fresh for consumption for a long period.

From my perspective, distributing farm food to far places can carry both positive and negative implications. On the positive side, the ability to dispatch foods to other regions can lead to local economic growth. Specifically, farmers have opportunities to be exposed to competitive markets, potentially enhancing their overall income. This can lead to economic development among local people. Regarding the drawbacks, transporting foods over long distances may pose a great threat to the environment. This can stem from the excessive emission of carbon dioxide from vehicles used for transportation, which significantly contributes to the severity of global warming.

In conclusion, the development of modern technology is the primary reason that explains the capability of food distribution thousands of miles. While this trend can boost the local economy, it can also have a detrimental effect on the environment.