Today, there are more television channels than ever before. Some people think this leads to more choices for television viewers. Others, however, believe this causes the quality of television programmes to decline. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is notable concern about the impact of multiple television channels, which results in more options for audiences. While others argue that this reduces the quality of television programmes. From my perspective, I am more inclined to the latter.
On the one hand, there are certain merits of increasing the amount of television channels. It offers significant advantages in providing viewers a wide range of sources from education to entertainment. This outcome helps television programmes become an effective and flexible means, which appropriate audiences of all ages and makes watching television more personalised. Additionally, promoting the quantity of channels in television helps viewers find programmes which suit their interests, creating a sense of satisfaction and serving their demands effectively.
On the other hand, the growth of channels released also offers substantial drawbacks. A potential advantage is it can foster publishers to compete in the media market due to the pressure of producing more content to keep up with opponents. This can lead to the prioritisation of quantity rather than quality in creating content to publish with the viewers, which reduces their interests in watching television. Furthermore, focusing on programmes competitive production can underlie an adverse impact on audiences’ watching experience. This makes media agencies easy to create misunderstanding or wrong news and neglect shows, which decline their channels quality and viewers rate.
In conclusion, there are both minuses and pluses to the argument about increasing television channels. While there are some benefits, their negative aspects make it worthwhile in terms of reducing the proportions of audiences and their interests.
Task 1: The chart below shows the results of a survey abou

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is notable concern" -> "There is considerable concern"
Explanation: "Notable" can imply a degree of fame or notoriety, which is not the intended meaning here. "Considerable" better conveys the idea of significant or important concern in an academic context.
"results in more options for audiences" -> "offers a wider range of options for viewers"
Explanation: "Results in" is somewhat vague and passive; "offers" is more active and precise, and "viewers" is more commonly used in formal writing than "audiences" in this context.
"I am more inclined to the latter" -> "I am more persuaded by the latter"
Explanation: "Inclined" can be seen as informal and vague; "persuaded" is more specific and academically appropriate, indicating a stronger conviction in the argument.
"It offers significant advantages in providing" -> "It provides significant advantages in terms of"
Explanation: "Offers" is passive and less direct; "provides" is more direct and active, and adding "in terms of" clarifies the nature of the advantages.
"which appropriate audiences of all ages" -> "which appeals to audiences of all ages"
Explanation: "Appropriate" is not the correct term here; "appeals to" is the correct phrase for describing how television programs engage with their audience.
"makes watching television more personalised" -> "enhances the personalization of television viewing"
Explanation: "Makes watching television more personalised" is awkward and informal; "enhances the personalization of television viewing" is more formal and precise.
"promoting the quantity of channels in television" -> "increasing the number of television channels"
Explanation: "Promoting the quantity of channels in television" is redundant and awkward; "increasing the number of television channels" is straightforward and clear.
"the growth of channels released" -> "the proliferation of channels"
Explanation: "Channels released" is unclear and awkward; "proliferation" is a precise term that effectively conveys the rapid increase in the number of channels.
"A potential advantage is it can foster" -> "A potential advantage is that it fosters"
Explanation: "It can foster" is grammatically incorrect; "that it fosters" corrects the grammatical structure and improves readability.
"due to the pressure of producing more content to keep up with opponents" -> "due to the pressure to produce more content to compete with rivals"
Explanation: "Opponents" is less specific and can be ambiguous; "rivals" is more precise and commonly used in business and competitive contexts.
"This can lead to the prioritisation of quantity rather than quality" -> "This may lead to prioritizing quantity over quality"
Explanation: "Prioritisation" is correct but less common; "prioritizing" is more commonly used in academic writing, and "over" is more direct than "rather than."
"underlie an adverse impact" -> "undermine the quality"
Explanation: "Underlie an adverse impact" is awkward and unclear; "undermine the quality" is a more direct and clear expression of how the prioritization of quantity affects quality.
"makes media agencies easy to create misunderstanding or wrong news" -> "makes it easier for media agencies to create misunderstandings or disseminate false information"
Explanation: "Makes media agencies easy to create" is grammatically incorrect and vague; "makes it easier for media agencies to create" corrects the grammar and specificity, and "disseminate false information" is more precise than "wrong news."
"decline their channels quality" -> "degrade the quality of their channels"
Explanation: "Decline their channels quality" is grammatically incorrect and awkward; "degrade the quality of their channels" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"reducing the proportions of audiences" -> "reducing the number of viewers"
Explanation: "Proportions of audiences" is unclear and awkward; "number of viewers" is straightforward and appropriate for the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the impact of increased television channels. The first paragraph outlines the benefits of having more channels, such as a wider range of content and personalization for viewers. The second paragraph discusses the drawbacks, particularly the decline in quality due to competition among channels. However, the essay could have been more explicit in discussing the implications of both views before presenting the author’s opinion, which is somewhat vague.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each viewpoint is explored in more depth. For instance, when discussing the benefits, examples of specific types of programs or channels could be provided. Similarly, when addressing the drawbacks, mentioning specific instances of declining quality or viewer dissatisfaction would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer’s position is stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion, indicating a preference for the view that increased channels lead to a decline in quality. However, the transition to this opinion could be clearer. The phrase "I am more inclined to the latter" is somewhat abrupt and could be better integrated into the overall argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, explicitly state the opinion in a more definitive manner and connect it to the arguments presented. For example, after discussing both sides, a clear statement such as, "Ultimately, I believe that the negative impacts outweigh the benefits" would provide a stronger transition to the conclusion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both the advantages and disadvantages of more television channels. However, the development of these ideas lacks depth. For instance, the mention of "flexible means" and "personalized" viewing experiences could be elaborated with examples or statistics to support these claims. The argument about competition leading to lower quality is introduced but not sufficiently explored.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, incorporate specific examples or data that illustrate the points being made. For instance, citing a study that shows viewer preferences or trends in television programming could provide a stronger foundation for the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing theeffects of increased television channels. However, there are moments where the language becomes convoluted, such as "which appropriate audiences of all ages," which detracts from clarity. Additionally, the phrase "reducing the proportions of audiences and their interests" is vague and could be misinterpreted.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all sentences are clear and directly related to the topic. Avoid overly complex phrases that could confuse the reader. Simplifying language and ensuring that each sentence contributes directly to the argument will help maintain clarity and relevance.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents a balanced view, it would benefit from deeper exploration of ideas, clearer expression of the author’s position, and more precise language to enhance clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, while the body paragraphs are organized to present the advantages and disadvantages of having more television channels. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition between the merits and drawbacks could be smoother. The phrase "On the one hand" is appropriately used, but the subsequent transition to "On the other hand" lacks a clear connective that would enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using more explicit transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For example, after discussing the advantages, you could use "Conversely" or "In contrast" to introduce the drawbacks. Additionally, ensure that each point builds on the previous one to create a more cohesive argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph addresses the benefits of more channels, while the second discusses the drawbacks. However, the paragraphs could be more clearly defined with topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of each paragraph. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence that clearly states the benefits of increased channel variety.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. This will help the reader quickly grasp the focus of each paragraph. Additionally, consider using concluding sentences to summarize the main point of each paragraph, reinforcing the argument’s coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," to contrast the two views. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences feel disjointed, particularly when transitioning between ideas within paragraphs. For instance, phrases like "This outcome helps television programmes…" could benefit from clearer connections to the previous sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In addition," and "Consequently." This will enhance the flow of ideas and make the argument more persuasive. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence in the argument.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "notable concern," "flexible means," and "substantial drawbacks." However, the vocabulary used is sometimes repetitive and lacks variety. For instance, the phrase "television channels" appears multiple times without synonyms or alternative expressions, which could enhance the essay’s richness.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example,instead of repeatedly saying "television channels," you might use "broadcast options," "viewing platforms," or "media outlets." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "diversification of content" or "viewership dynamics," would elevate the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "appropriate audiences of all ages" could be misleading; it suggests that the channels are suitable for all age groups without clarifying how this is achieved. Furthermore, "creating misunderstanding or wrong news" lacks clarity, as "wrong news" is not a standard term and could be better expressed as "misinformation" or "inaccurate reporting."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Instead of "wrong news," opt for "misleading information" or "false narratives." Additionally, ensure that phrases like "appropriate audiences" are contextualized; for instance, clarify how channels cater to diverse age groups through specific programming.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors that detract from understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "minuses and pluses," which is an informal expression and could be replaced with "advantages and disadvantages" for a more academic tone.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, regularly practice writing and proofreading your work. Utilize tools like spell checkers and engage in exercises that focus on commonly misspelled words. Additionally, aim for a more formal vocabulary to align with academic standards, which will also help in avoiding informal expressions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and formality will enhance the overall quality and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "While others argue that this reduces the quality of television programmes" and "On the one hand, there are certain merits of increasing the amount of television channels" show an ability to use subordinate clauses effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structure, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and expanded upon, which can make the writing feel somewhat formulaic.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of structures, consider using more varied introductory phrases and transitions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," you could use alternatives like "Conversely" or "In contrast." Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence lengths and types can create a more engaging rhythm in your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable inaccuracies that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "which appropriate audiences of all ages" is grammatically incorrect; it should read "which appropriates audiences of all ages." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the missing comma before "which" in "which reduces their interests in watching television," can lead to confusion in sentence structure. The use of "minuses and pluses" in the conclusion is informal and could be replaced with "disadvantages and advantages" for a more academic tone.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread your work carefully. Pay particular attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses. Practicing with grammar exercises focused on common errors can also be beneficial. For punctuation, familiarize yourself with the rules regarding commas, especially in complex sentences, to ensure clarity and correctness.

Overall, while the essay meets the criteria for a Band 7 in terms of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision will help elevate your score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is considerable concern about the impact of multiple television channels, which results in more options for audiences. However, others argue that this proliferation of channels causes the quality of television programmes to decline. From my perspective, I am more persuaded by the latter view.

On the one hand, there are certain merits to increasing the number of television channels. It provides significant advantages in terms of offering viewers a wider range of sources, from education to entertainment. This outcome helps television programmes become an effective and flexible medium, which appeals to audiences of all ages and enhances the personalization of television viewing. Additionally, the increasing number of television channels helps viewers find programmes that suit their interests, creating a sense of satisfaction and effectively serving their demands.

On the other hand, the growth of channels also presents substantial drawbacks. A potential advantage is that it fosters competition among publishers in the media market due to the pressure to produce more content to compete with rivals. However, this can lead to prioritizing quantity over quality in content creation, which may reduce viewers’ interest in watching television. Furthermore, focusing on competitive production can undermine the quality of the viewing experience. This makes it easier for media agencies to create misunderstandings or disseminate false information, which degrades the quality of their channels and ultimately reduces the number of viewers.

In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages to the argument about increasing television channels. While there are some benefits, the negative aspects make it worthwhile to consider the impact on audience proportions and their interests.