Topic 2: It is said that people’s life now is becoming more and more stressful. What do you think are the cause of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In today's fast-paced world, one of the leading serious problems is stress, making people's daily lives more difficult and tiring. This article will effectively detail various issues related to the causes as well as solutions to the problem of human stress that needs to be addressed today.

Obviously, there are a number of reasons to explain the stress in each of us today. The first and most important problem arises from deadlines. In modern life, constant homework and projects that need to be resolved make us humans pressured and stressed. In addition, another common and particularly serious cause in modern life is living expenses. Many kinds of money that must be paid such as rent, gas, food and many other types of money. These payments put students under a lot of pressure.

Nevertheless, there are many ways that can be applied to solve such important problems and my suggestion is making plans. First, plan your deadlines specifically, do not let them pile up too much, then allocate your time reasonably and try to complete them as best as possible. From there you will not be too pressured for your deadlines. Next, if you are stressed about living expenses, plan your spending budget so you can control your spending and have a small amount of savings for yourself. From such specific planning, the proof is that I have completed deadlines for study, work and my own expenses thanks to specific planning.

In conclusion, stress is an inevitable challenge in modern life. However, by planning our work details and managing our finances intelligently, we can significantly reduce stress and enjoy life more fully.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In today’s fast-paced world" -> "In the contemporary fast-paced world"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "contemporary" provides a more formal and precise term, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"one of the leading serious problems" -> "one of the most significant problems"
Explanation: "Leading serious" is redundant; "most significant" is more concise and academically appropriate, emphasizing the importance of the issue.
"making people’s daily lives more difficult and tiring" -> "complicating and exhausting daily lives"
Explanation: "Complicating and exhausting" is a more concise and formal way to describe the impact of stress on daily lives, avoiding the redundancy of "more difficult and tiring."
"will effectively detail" -> "will thoroughly examine"
Explanation: "Examine" is more precise and formal than "detail," which is somewhat vague and less academic in this context.
"needs to be addressed today" -> "requires immediate attention"
Explanation: "Requires immediate attention" is a more formal and precise expression, emphasizing the urgency of the issue in an academic context.
"in each of us today" -> "among individuals today"
Explanation: "Among individuals" is more formal and precise than "in each of us," which is somewhat colloquial and vague.
"constant homework and projects" -> "ongoing assignments and projects"
Explanation: "Ongoing" is a more formal term than "constant," and "assignments" is a more specific term than "homework," which is often associated with school settings.
"make us humans pressured and stressed" -> "place humans under pressure and stress"
Explanation: "Place humans under pressure and stress" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction of "make us humans pressured and stressed."
"Many kinds of money" -> "various financial obligations"
Explanation: "Various financial obligations" is a more precise and formal way to describe the different types of expenses, avoiding the colloquial "kinds of money."
"put students under a lot of pressure" -> "pose significant pressure on students"
Explanation: "Pose significant pressure on students" is more formal and avoids the colloquial "under a lot of pressure."
"making plans" -> "developing strategies"
Explanation: "Developing strategies" is a more formal and precise term than "making plans," which is somewhat vague and informal for academic writing.
"plan your deadlines specifically" -> "specifically plan your deadlines"
Explanation: Rearranging the phrase to "specifically plan your deadlines" improves the grammatical structure and clarity of the sentence.
"do not let them pile up too much" -> "avoid allowing them to accumulate excessively"
Explanation: "Avoid allowing them to accumulate excessively" is more formal and precise, replacing the colloquial "pile up too much."
"try to complete them as best as possible" -> "strive to complete them as thoroughly as possible"
Explanation: "Strive to complete them as thoroughly as possible" uses more formal vocabulary and avoids the awkward construction of "as best as possible."
"plan your spending budget" -> "establish a budget for your expenses"
Explanation: "Establish a budget for your expenses" is more formal and precise than "plan your spending budget," which is somewhat redundant.
"have a small amount of savings for yourself" -> "maintain a modest savings reserve"
Explanation: "Maintain a modest savings reserve" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "have a small amount of savings for yourself."
"the proof is that" -> "this is evident from"
Explanation: "This is evident from" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to introduce evidence, compared to the conversational "the proof is that."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the causes of stress and suggesting solutions. The causes mentioned include deadlines and living expenses, which are relevant and significant contributors to stress in contemporary life. However, the essay could benefit from a broader range of causes, such as work-life balance or social pressures, to provide a more comprehensive answer. The solutions offered are practical and directly related to the causes discussed, which strengthens the response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider incorporating additional causes of stress, such as technological overload or social isolation. This would provide a more rounded view of the issue. Additionally, discussing a wider variety of solutions, such as mindfulness practices or seeking professional help, could further enrich the essay.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that stress is a significant issue and that planning can mitigate it. The writer consistently supports this stance throughout the essay. However, the introduction could be more assertive in stating the position, as it currently reads somewhat passively. The conclusion effectively reiterates the main points but could be more emphatic in reinforcing the writer’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the introduction should explicitly state the writer’s viewpoint on stress and its management. Using phrases like "I believe" or "It is essential to recognize" can help establish a stronger stance. In the conclusion, reiterating the importance of the solutions proposed with a call to action could also enhance the overall impact.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, particularly in the discussion of causes and solutions. Each cause is introduced and explained, and the solutions are actionable. However, the support for these ideas could be more robust. For example, the mention of personal experience with planning is a good start, but it lacks depth and could be expanded to illustrate how these strategies have been effective.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should include more detailed examples or evidence. For instance, discussing specific instances where planning helped reduce stress in various contexts (e.g., academic, financial) would provide greater depth. Additionally, integrating statistics or studies related to stress management could lend credibility to the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the causes of stress and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the language becomes slightly vague, particularly in the phrase "many kinds of money" which could confuse readers. The overall coherence is maintained, but clarity could be improved.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the writer should avoid vague language and ensure that all terms used are precise. For example, instead of "many kinds of money," it would be clearer to specify "various living expenses." Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph directly ties back to the main topic will help reinforce the essay’s relevance throughout.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and breadth of content. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance their overall score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, while the ideas are generally organized, the transition between the causes and solutions could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing stressors like deadlines and living expenses to solutions feels abrupt. The reader might benefit from a more explicit connection between the identified causes and the proposed solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that link the causes to the solutions more clearly. For example, after discussing the causes of stress, a sentence like "To address these pressing issues, several strategies can be implemented" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the main thesis can help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. However, the paragraphs could be more clearly delineated in terms of their focus. The first body paragraph discusses causes, while the second addresses solutions, but the solutions could be more explicitly tied back to the causes mentioned. The lack of clear paragraphing in the solutions section makes it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. In the solutions paragraph, consider breaking it into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on planning deadlines and the other on managing finances. This separation will allow for a more in-depth discussion of each solution and enhance clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first," "next," and "in addition," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "from there" in the solutions section is vague and does not clearly link back to the previous point about deadlines.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "furthermore" or "moreover" to add information, and "consequently" or "as a result" to indicate cause and effect. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance cohesion. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "stress," you could use "this issue" or "such pressures" to maintain flow.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "fast-paced," "leading serious problems," and "living expenses." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "stress" and "problems." The use of synonyms or varied expressions could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "stress," alternatives like "anxiety," "pressure," or "tension" could be employed to convey similar meanings.
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms during the drafting process. Utilizing a thesaurus can help identify alternative words. Additionally, incorporating more descriptive adjectives and adverbs can enrich the text. For example, instead of saying "common and particularly serious cause," one could say "prevalent and notably significant factor."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its message, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "many kinds of money" is vague and could be more accurately expressed as "various expenses" or "different financial obligations." Furthermore, the phrase "do not let them pile up too much" could be refined to "avoid accumulating them excessively," which would sound more formal and precise.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on contextually appropriate vocabulary. This can be achieved by reading more academic or formal texts to see how specific terms are used. Additionally, revising sentences to ensure that each word contributes meaningfully to the overall message can help clarify intent. For instance, instead of saying "making plans," one could specify "developing a structured plan" to convey a clearer meaning.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "humans pressured" which should be "humans feel pressured." While the overall spelling is adequate, these minor mistakes detract from the professionalism of the writing. The phrase "many kinds of money" could also be misleading, as it suggests a misunderstanding of financial terminology.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools can also help identify mistakes. Furthermore, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling of commonly used terms. Keeping a personal list of frequently misspelled words could also be beneficial for ongoing improvement.

By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource, ultimately leading to a higher band score in the IELTS writing assessment.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the opening sentence effectively uses a complex structure: "In today’s fast-paced world, one of the leading serious problems is stress, making people’s daily lives more difficult and tiring." This showcases the writer’s ability to combine ideas. However, the essay tends to rely on certain structures, such as "there are" and "my suggestion is," which can limit the overall variety. Additionally, some sentences could be more effectively structured to enhance clarity and engagement, such as the sentence beginning with "Nevertheless."
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases, use conditional clauses, and experiment with different ways to present ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "the first" or "next," the writer could use phrases like "One significant factor is…" or "Another approach could be…" This would help maintain reader interest and demonstrate a broader range of grammatical structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits good grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from its overall quality. For instance, the phrase "many kinds of money that must be paid" is awkward and could be more clearly expressed as "various expenses that must be covered." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "and" in the list of expenses ("rent, gas, food and many other types of money"), which should be corrected to "rent, gas, food, and many other types of expenses."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on refining awkward phrases and ensuring clarity in expression. Reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding lists and clauses, would also be beneficial. Practicing sentence combining and rephrasing could help eliminate redundancy and improve the fluidity of ideas. Furthermore, proofreading for common grammatical errors before submission can help catch mistakes that may have been overlooked.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s fast-paced world, one of the most significant problems is stress, complicating and exhausting people’s daily lives. This article will thoroughly examine various issues related to the causes as well as solutions to the problem of human stress that requires immediate attention today.

Obviously, there are a number of reasons to explain the stress among individuals today. The first and most important problem arises from deadlines. In modern life, ongoing assignments and projects that need to be completed place humans under pressure and stress. In addition, another common and particularly serious cause in modern life is living expenses. There are various financial obligations that must be paid, such as rent, gas, food, and many other types of expenses. These payments pose significant pressure on students.

Nevertheless, there are many ways that can be applied to solve such important problems, and my suggestion is to develop strategies. First, specifically plan your deadlines; do not allow them to accumulate excessively. Then, allocate your time reasonably and strive to complete them as thoroughly as possible. By doing this, you will not feel too pressured by your deadlines. Next, if you are stressed about living expenses, establish a budget for your expenses so you can control your spending and maintain a modest savings reserve for yourself. This is evident from my own experience, as I have completed deadlines for study, work, and my own expenses thanks to specific planning.