Waste problem cause and solution

28/5/2024
Waste problem

In modern times, the issue of garbage problem has become highly controversial. People are starting to debate whether this problem expand everywhere in the future. To my mind, I think the rubbish problem is a negative trend.

From an overall perspective, there are two main causes why I believe that the waste problem is a bad problem in the environment. First and foremost, the garbage problem of the world begins with actions by humans in life. For example, when some people go to beaches, they will usually throw offal underwater. Secondly, the attitude of residents in the world is an important factor. To illustrate, when everybody sees laws banning bringing boxes of food in plastic in the parks, they still bring it into the public parks.

However, there are a variety of viable solutions at hand to address this problem. Firstly, the residents of the urban areas must reduce bad actions about the rubbish. For instance, when everyone eats a meal in a public place, they shouldn't throw it in the community location. Furthermore, individuals must improve their attitude when they hang out or visit around the earth. To elaborate, the residents need to learn laws about banning throwing refuse when they go to the sea and visit the country in the world.

In conclusion, this is a topic which is very relevant to modern society. However, to my mind, the best solution would be to improve the waste problem. I believe that everyone should build a good attitude in the future. If the authorities implement this policy, it will provide a better life for the future generation

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Errors and Improvements:

"garbage problem" -> "waste management issue"
Explanation: "Garbage problem" is somewhat colloquial. "Waste management issue" is a more formal and precise term commonly used in academic contexts.
"expand everywhere" -> "escalate globally"
Explanation: "Expand everywhere" is overly simplistic. "Escalate globally" conveys the idea of the waste problem growing on a worldwide scale in a more sophisticated manner.
"To my mind, I think" -> "In my opinion,"
Explanation: "To my mind, I think" is redundant and informal. "In my opinion," is concise and formally appropriate.
"bad problem" -> "detrimental issue"
Explanation: "Bad problem" is redundant and lacks precision. "Detrimental issue" conveys the seriousness of the problem in a more formal manner.
"From an overall perspective" -> "From a holistic perspective,"
Explanation: "From an overall perspective" is slightly informal. "From a holistic perspective," maintains formality while expressing a comprehensive viewpoint.
"actions by humans in life" -> "human behaviors"
Explanation: "Actions by humans in life" is redundant and awkward. "Human behaviors" is a more concise and appropriate term.
"throw offal underwater" -> "dispose of waste in the water"
Explanation: "Throw offal underwater" is unclear and informal. "Dispose of waste in the water" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"attitude of residents" -> "behavior of inhabitants"
Explanation: "Attitude of residents" is somewhat vague. "Behavior of inhabitants" is a clearer and more precise term.
"laws banning bringing boxes of food in plastic" -> "regulations prohibiting the use of plastic food containers"
Explanation: "Laws banning bringing boxes of food in plastic" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Regulations prohibiting the use of plastic food containers" is more precise and formal.
"public parks" -> "parks or public spaces"
Explanation: "Public parks" is too specific. "Parks or public spaces" is a broader and more inclusive term.
"variety of viable solutions at hand" -> "array of viable solutions available"
Explanation: "Variety of viable solutions at hand" is informal. "Array of viable solutions available" is a more formal expression.
"urban areas" -> "metropolitan regions"
Explanation: "Urban areas" is a common term but "metropolitan regions" adds a level of formality.
"bad actions about the rubbish" -> "improper disposal of waste"
Explanation: "Bad actions about the rubbish" is informal. "Improper disposal of waste" is more precise and formal.
"community location" -> "public area"
Explanation: "Community location" is vague. "Public area" is clearer and more formal.
"attitude when they hang out or visit around the earth" -> "behavior when engaging in leisure activities or traveling"
Explanation: "Attitude when they hang out or visit around the earth" is informal and unclear. "Behavior when engaging in leisure activities or traveling" is more precise and formal.
"laws about banning throwing refuse" -> "regulations prohibiting littering"
Explanation: "Laws about banning throwing refuse" is awkward and unclear. "Regulations prohibiting littering" is a more precise and formal phrase.
"go to the sea and visit the country in the world" -> "visit coastal areas and travel internationally"
Explanation: "Go to the sea and visit the country in the world" is ambiguous. "Visit coastal areas and travel internationally" clarifies the activities.
"this is a topic which is very relevant" -> "this is a highly pertinent topic"
Explanation: "This is a topic which is very relevant" is wordy and informal. "This is a highly pertinent topic" is more concise and formal.
"best solution would be to improve the waste problem" -> "optimal solution would be to address waste management"
Explanation: "Best solution would be to improve the waste problem" is vague and lacks clarity. "Optimal solution would be to address waste management" is more specific and formal.
"build a good attitude in the future" -> "foster a positive mindset in future generations"
Explanation: "Build a good attitude in the future" is vague and informal. "Foster a positive mindset in future generations" is clearer and more formal.
"authorities implement this policy" -> "authorities enact and enforce these policies"
Explanation: "Authorities implement this policy" is somewhat informal. "Authorities enact and enforce these policies" is more formal and precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the causes of the waste problem and proposing solutions. It acknowledges human actions and attitudes as causes and suggests improving behavior and implementing laws as solutions.
- How to improve: While the essay touches upon both aspects of the prompt, it could benefit from more depth and specificity. Providing concrete examples and statistics could strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the waste problem is indeed a negative trend. This stance is consistently articulated throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay could explicitly state the position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, supporting the position with stronger evidence and reasoning would bolster the argument’s persuasiveness.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the causes and solutions to the waste problem. However, these ideas lack depth and development. Examples provided are simplistic and could be expanded upon to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should delve deeper into the causes and effects of the waste problem. Providing specific examples, data, or case studies would enrich the discussion and lend credibility to the proposed solutions.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the waste problem and its causes and solutions. However, there are instances of vague or off-topic statements that detract from the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should avoid generalizations and ensure that every point directly relates to the waste problem. Clear transitions between ideas can help maintain coherence and guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Additionally, revisiting the prompt throughout the essay can serve as a reminder to stay on track.

Overall, while the essay adequately addresses the prompt, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of analysis, clarity of position, development of ideas, and coherence. Strengthening these aspects would enhance the overall effectiveness and persuasiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a basic level of logical organization. It follows a traditional structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression within paragraphs and between ideas could be strengthened. For instance, in the first body paragraph, the transition between discussing human actions and resident attitudes is somewhat abrupt, lacking a smooth flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider employing clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that sets up the main point of that paragraph. Additionally, ensure that ideas progress logically within each paragraph, providing adequate support and examples for each point made.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, but the structure and effectiveness of these paragraphs could be improved. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or argument, but some paragraphs in this essay cover multiple ideas, leading to a lack of clarity and cohesion.
- How to improve: Aim for stronger paragraph unity by focusing on one central idea per paragraph. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the main point of that paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph provides sufficient supporting details and examples to bolster the main idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices. While some basic cohesive devices are present (e.g., "firstly," "secondly," "in conclusion"), their effectiveness is somewhat limited. The essay lacks variety in cohesive devices, relying predominantly on transitional phrases rather than incorporating a diverse range of cohesive elements such as pronouns, conjunctions, and lexical cohesion.
- How to improve: Broaden the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to improve coherence. Incorporate a variety of cohesive elements such as pronouns ("this," "these"), conjunctions ("however," "furthermore," "for instance"), and repetition of key terms to link ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to maintain coherence and guide the reader through the essay’s argumentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While it includes some variety of words and expressions, there is a lack of depth and complexity in vocabulary usage. For instance, common words like "problem," "solution," "resident," and "attitude" are repeated without much variation. There are missed opportunities to employ more precise or nuanced vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should aim to incorporate more diverse and sophisticated words and phrases. Synonyms and alternative expressions for frequently used terms can add depth and sophistication to the essay. Additionally, using domain-specific terminology related to waste management and environmental conservation can enrich the vocabulary further. For example, instead of repeatedly using "problem," the writer could use terms like "challenge," "issue," "concern," or "dilemma" to vary the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some precision in vocabulary usage, but there are instances of imprecise language that could be improved. For example, phrases like "actions by humans in life" and "the attitude of residents in the world" lack precision and clarity. Additionally, the use of phrases like "building a good attitude" is vague and could be more specific.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should aim to express ideas more clearly and accurately. Instead of using vague phrases, such as "actions by humans in life," the writer could specify the types of actions contributing to the waste problem, such as littering or improper waste disposal practices. Similarly, rather than referring to "the attitude of residents in the world," the writer could specify which attitudes or behaviors are detrimental to waste management efforts. Using precise language will make the essay more impactful and coherent.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy, with only minor errors observed (e.g., "rubbish" instead of "garbage," "offal" instead of "refuse"). However, there are instances of incorrect word usage, such as "expand" instead of "expanding" in the first sentence and "around the earth" instead of "around the world" in the penultimate paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy and word usage, the writer should pay close attention to the spelling and meaning of words. Proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and correct any errors. Additionally, using language tools or dictionaries to verify spelling and word choice can prevent inaccuracies. Specifically, paying attention to verb forms (e.g., "expand" vs. "expanding") and idiomatic expressions (e.g., "around the world") can enhance the overall clarity and correctness of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a lack of variety within these structures. Simple sentences dominate the essay, which limits its complexity and sophistication. For instance, "People are starting to debate whether this problem expand everywhere in the future" is a complex sentence, but it could benefit from more varied structures for improved coherence and fluency.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and overall effectiveness of the essay, consider incorporating a more diverse range of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences with subordinate clauses to add depth and clarity to your arguments. For example, instead of solely relying on simple sentences, try incorporating compound-complex sentences to convey ideas more effectively. Additionally, vary the length and structure of your sentences to maintain reader engagement and interest.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage, with only minor errors throughout. However, there are several instances where incorrect verb tense, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation errors detract from the overall clarity and coherence of the writing. For example, "For example, when some people go to beaches, they will usually throw offal underwater" contains a subject-verb agreement error ("go" should be "go to the beach"; "will usually throw" lacks parallelism with "go to beaches"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation rules. Review each sentence for errors in verb tense and ensure that subjects and verbs agree in number and person. Additionally, familiarize yourself with punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage after introductory phrases and clauses. Consider revising sentences to eliminate ambiguity and improve clarity. Proofreading your writing carefully before submission can help identify and correct any remaining errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

28/5/2024

**Waste Problem**

In contemporary times, the issue of waste management has become highly contentious. There is growing debate over whether this issue will escalate further in the future. In my opinion, the problem of waste is indeed a concerning trend.

Looking at the broader picture, there are two primary reasons why I consider waste management to be a pressing environmental issue. Firstly, it originates from human actions in daily life. For instance, some individuals tend to discard waste improperly, such as dumping garbage into bodies of water when visiting beaches. Secondly, the attitude of people plays a significant role. Despite regulations prohibiting the use of disposable plastic containers in parks, many still disregard these rules and bring such items into public spaces.

However, there exist several viable solutions to tackle this issue. Firstly, urban residents should adopt responsible waste disposal practices. For example, refraining from littering in communal areas when consuming meals outdoors. Additionally, individuals must cultivate a more conscientious attitude towards waste management during recreational activities and travels. It’s essential for residents to acquaint themselves with regulations regarding waste disposal, especially in natural environments like beaches and countryside areas.

In conclusion, waste management is a topic of great relevance in modern society. However, I believe the most effective solution lies in improving waste management practices. Encouraging everyone to adopt responsible attitudes towards waste disposal is crucial. With the implementation of such measures by authorities, we can strive towards a better quality of life for future generations.