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Write about a day in your life in 2050.

Write about a day in your life in 2050.

Coming up to the year of 2050, I think there are many changes which peculiarly appear in our daily life. Thanks to the rapid pace of technological literacy and numeracy, human's living condition will be improved and upgraded spectacularly.
There may be many flying houses hover in the sky, which be not only the places where habitants can live there, but also capable of travelling to anywhere. Furthermore, driving will be much more different. Instead of using ground vehicle, they will drive the flying one, or even the immediate one, which can take us to distant spaces in the time approximate to the light velocity. It will be the reasonable methods to solve the problem of traffic jams during peak hours. That are extremely peculiar and unfeasible to the present. Moreover, human's longevity will be enhanced by applying the futuristic inventions into medicine and treatment. It is also thanks to having lots of healthy options of nourishment and eco-friendly cultivation. Nutrition cultivated by applying organic procedure will be considered a typical example of them. About the education, I think there will be virtual reality and high-tech innovations applied into. That means people can communicate each others through a special glass or a very thin screen, which is approximately to nanometres.
To sum up, the life in the future will be a delightful picture, along with many opportunities and struggles intertwine. However, there will require our significant responsibility for preserving the planet and stable the equilibrium between industrialization and protecting habitats.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Coming up to the year of 2050" -> "By the year 2050"
    Explanation: "Coming up to" is an informal and somewhat vague expression. "By the year 2050" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.

  2. "peculiarly appear" -> "manifest"
    Explanation: "Peculiarly appear" is awkward and unclear. "Manifest" is a more direct and academically appropriate term that conveys the intended meaning of becoming apparent.

  3. "human’s living condition" -> "human living conditions"
    Explanation: "Human’s living condition" is grammatically incorrect. "Human living conditions" is the correct form, referring to the general state of living among humans.

  4. "will be improved and upgraded spectacularly" -> "will be significantly improved and upgraded"
    Explanation: "Spectacularly" is an emotional and informal term. "Significantly" is more neutral and appropriate for academic writing, emphasizing the degree of change without emotional connotation.

  5. "flying houses hover in the sky" -> "houses that hover in the sky"
    Explanation: "Flying houses" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Houses that hover in the sky" clarifies that these are houses capable of flight.

  6. "be not only the places where habitants can live there" -> "serve not only as dwellings for inhabitants"
    Explanation: "Be not only the places where habitants can live there" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Serve not only as dwellings for inhabitants" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  7. "capable of travelling to anywhere" -> "capable of traveling to any destination"
    Explanation: "Traveling" should be "travel" in British English, and "anywhere" is somewhat informal. "Any destination" is more precise and formal.

  8. "the immediate one" -> "the instantaneous one"
    Explanation: "The immediate one" is vague and informal. "The instantaneous one" is more specific and formal, suitable for describing rapid transportation.

  9. "the time approximate to the light velocity" -> "the time equivalent to the speed of light"
    Explanation: "Approximate to the light velocity" is awkward and unclear. "Equivalent to the speed of light" is a precise and scientifically accurate phrase.

  10. "That are extremely peculiar and unfeasible" -> "These are extremely unusual and impractical"
    Explanation: "That are" is grammatically incorrect. "These are" is the correct subject-verb agreement. "Unusual" and "impractical" are more precise and formal than "peculiar" and "unfeasible."

  11. "having lots of healthy options of nourishment" -> "having numerous healthy options for nutrition"
    Explanation: "Lots of" is informal and vague. "Numerous" is more precise and formal, and "nutrition" is the correct term for the context.

  12. "eco-friendly cultivation" -> "sustainable cultivation"
    Explanation: "Eco-friendly" is a colloquial term. "Sustainable" is a more formal and widely accepted term in academic contexts.

  13. "a special glass or a very thin screen" -> "specialized glass or thin screens"
    Explanation: "A special glass" is vague and informal. "Specialized glass" and "thin screens" are more precise and formal.

  14. "approximately to nanometres" -> "approaching nanometers"
    Explanation: "Approximately to nanometres" is awkward and incorrect. "Approaching nanometers" is a more precise and scientifically appropriate expression.

  15. "delightful picture" -> "promising scenario"
    Explanation: "Delightful picture" is overly emotional and informal. "Promising scenario" is more neutral and suitable for academic writing.

  16. "struggles intertwine" -> "challenges coexist"
    Explanation: "Struggles intertwine" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Challenges coexist" is clearer and more formal, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing various aspects of life in 2050, including technological advancements, transportation, health, and education. However, while it touches on these areas, it lacks depth in exploring how these changes impact daily life. For example, the mention of flying houses and vehicles is intriguing but not sufficiently elaborated upon to illustrate a typical day in 2050. The essay could benefit from more specific examples of daily routines or activities that would be influenced by these advancements.
    • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should focus on providing concrete examples of a day in 2050. This could include a detailed description of morning routines, work environments, leisure activities, and social interactions, all influenced by the technological changes mentioned.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a generally optimistic view of the future, suggesting that advancements will improve living conditions. However, the position is somewhat diluted by the introduction of potential struggles and responsibilities at the end, which could confuse the reader about the overall stance. The phrase "delightful picture" contrasts with the mention of "struggles," making the position less clear.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should decide on a central theme or perspective about life in 2050 and stick to it throughout the essay. If the focus is on the positive aspects, the writer should minimize the mention of struggles or responsibilities unless they are framed as challenges to overcome in a positive light.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several interesting ideas, such as flying houses and advancements in medicine, but many of these ideas are not fully developed or supported with examples. For instance, the discussion about nutrition and eco-friendly cultivation is mentioned but lacks specific details on how these changes would manifest in daily life. The lack of elaboration makes the ideas feel superficial.
    • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. For instance, when discussing flying vehicles, the writer could describe how a typical commute would look, including the technology used and the experience of traveling. This would create a more vivid picture and enhance the reader’s understanding.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on life in 2050. However, some sentences introduce concepts that feel slightly disconnected from the main theme, such as the mention of "significant responsibility for preserving the planet." While relevant, this point could be better integrated into the overall narrative of daily life in 2050.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the central theme of a day in 2050. Any additional points, such as environmental responsibilities, should be tied back to how they affect daily life, rather than presented as an afterthought. This will help keep the essay cohesive and on track.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a futuristic vision of life in 2050, touching on various aspects such as technology, transportation, health, and education. However, the organization lacks a clear structure. For instance, the transition from discussing flying houses to transportation methods is abrupt, which can confuse the reader. The ideas are somewhat related but could benefit from a more systematic approach, perhaps by grouping similar themes together or using clearer topic sentences to introduce each paragraph.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider outlining the essay before writing. Start with a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea, followed by supporting details. For example, you could dedicate one paragraph to technology, another to health, and a third to education, ensuring each section flows logically into the next.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks distinct paragraphing, which makes it challenging to follow. Currently, it reads as a single block of text, which can overwhelm the reader. Each new idea or theme should ideally start a new paragraph to improve readability and structure. For instance, the discussion about flying houses and transportation could be separated into two distinct paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Implement clear paragraph breaks to separate different ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single theme or aspect of life in 2050. Use transitional phrases at the beginning or end of paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument. For example, after discussing transportation, you could start the next paragraph with "In addition to advancements in transportation, health care is also expected to evolve significantly."
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "furthermore" and "moreover," to connect ideas. However, the range is limited, and the use of cohesive devices is sometimes forced or awkward. For instance, phrases like "That are extremely peculiar and unfeasible to the present" could be rephrased for clarity and better cohesion. The essay could benefit from more varied cohesive devices, including conjunctions, pronouns, and referencing techniques to enhance the flow of ideas.
    • How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "in contrast" when discussing potential downsides of technological advancements or "as a result" when explaining the implications of increased longevity. Additionally, ensure that pronouns are used effectively to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help maintain coherence throughout the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving the overall clarity and effectiveness

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "technological literacy," "flying houses," and "eco-friendly cultivation." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the phrase "human’s living condition" could be varied with alternatives like "quality of life" or "living standards." Additionally, terms like "futuristic inventions" and "high-tech innovations" are somewhat generic and could be replaced with more specific vocabulary to enhance the essay’s richness.
    • How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more specific terms related to technology and lifestyle changes. For instance, instead of repeating "flying," the writer could use "aerial" or "hovering." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary lists related to technology and future living can help diversify word choice.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the immediate one" is unclear and does not effectively convey the intended meaning. Additionally, "reasonable methods" could be better articulated as "practical solutions." The phrase "which be not only the places where habitants can live there" is grammatically incorrect and awkwardly phrased, which detracts from clarity.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity and grammatical correctness. They should revise sentences to ensure that the vocabulary accurately reflects the intended meaning. For example, instead of "which be not only the places," the writer could say "which are not only places." Practicing sentence structure and clarity in writing will aid in using vocabulary more precisely.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "habitats" instead of "habitants," "nourishment" instead of "nourishment," and "approximately to the light velocity" which should be "approximately the speed of light." These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify spelling mistakes. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can lead to improved spelling skills over time.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, there are clear areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their overall writing quality and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For example, the use of a compound sentence in "Instead of using ground vehicle, they will drive the flying one, or even the immediate one" shows an attempt to connect ideas. However, the essay relies heavily on basic structures and lacks variety in more complex constructions. Phrases like "which be not only the places where habitants can live there" indicate awkwardness and a lack of fluency in using relative clauses.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "which be not only the places where habitants can live there," a more effective structure could be "which are not only places for habitation but also capable of travel." Practicing combining sentences and using a wider range of conjunctions (e.g., although, despite, while) can also help in achieving greater complexity.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "human’s living condition will be improved and upgraded spectacularly" contains awkward phrasing and a possessive form that is not necessary; it would be clearer as "human living conditions will improve spectacularly." Additionally, the sentence "That are extremely peculiar and unfeasible to the present" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "That is extremely peculiar and unfeasible in the present." Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences lacking necessary commas, which can lead to run-on sentences.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, would be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially concerning commas and sentence boundaries, will help in creating clearer sentences. Reading more complex texts can also aid in understanding proper grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of grammatical structures, there is significant room for improvement in both the range of structures used and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By diversifying sentence types and focusing on grammatical correctness, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

As we approach the year 2050, I believe there will be many changes that will manifest in our daily lives. Thanks to the rapid advancement of technological literacy and numeracy, human living conditions will be significantly improved and upgraded.

There may be many flying houses that hover in the sky, which will serve not only as dwellings for inhabitants but also be capable of traveling to any destination. Furthermore, transportation will be vastly different. Instead of using ground vehicles, people will drive flying ones or even instantaneous vehicles that can take us to distant places in a time equivalent to the speed of light. This will be a reasonable method to address the issue of traffic jams during peak hours. These concepts may seem extremely unusual and impractical today.

Moreover, human longevity will be enhanced through the application of futuristic inventions in medicine and treatment. This will also be due to the availability of numerous healthy options for nutrition and sustainable cultivation. Nutrition cultivated through organic methods will be a typical example of this. Regarding education, I think there will be virtual reality and high-tech innovations integrated into the learning process. This means people will be able to communicate with each other through specialized glass or very thin screens, approaching nanometers in size.

To sum up, life in the future will present a promising scenario, filled with many opportunities and challenges that coexist. However, it will require significant responsibility on our part to preserve the planet and maintain a balance between industrialization and protecting our habitats.

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