write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the effects of stress and suggest some solutions to solve the problem.

In recent years, stress has become a more popular problem which has negative impacts on human's lives. This objective of this essay is to examine consequences of stress and recommend several measures to deal with it.
there are various potential impacts of being under pressure. The most obvious effect is that it leads to severe health problems. To illustrate, people may suffer from mental illness like depression, anxiety disorders as well as physical problems such as headache and tiredness. As a result, they lose concentrate on doing everything, which influences their work or study badly. In addition, strain leaves negative consequences on people's behaviors. For instance, it results in bad habits like drug abuse and alcohol addiction, which is harmful to their health. Moreover, they may show violence and aggression, which makes them have negative actions and form bad behaviors. Finally, pressure influences people's relationship negatively. Specifically, these who are under pressure do not want to interact with others, so they drift apart.
There are various measures which could be taken to release stress. The first solution to mention is that people get regular physical activity. For instance, participating in outdoor activities such as playing sports, swimming and jogging enables them to refresh their min after stressful hours at school or work. Another alternative is that people have a balanced diet. To be more specific, a diet including a good intake of fruits and protein allows them to stay healthy in order to manage stress. The final method to escape from stress is that people keep work-life balanced. Having a full sleep is a marverlous way to not only boost their energy but also release tension.
In summary, although negative effects of stress are various, there are effective stress management strategies. It is important that people lead a healthy lifestyle to overcome stress of way a busy life in modern society.

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Errors and Improvements:

"stress has become a more popular problem" -> "stress has emerged as a pervasive issue"
Explanation: The phrase "more popular problem" is informal and doesn’t accurately convey the seriousness of the issue. "Emerged as a pervasive issue" maintains the tone of the essay while emphasizing the widespread nature of stress.
"which has negative impacts on human’s lives" -> "which adversely affects human lives"
Explanation: "Negative impacts on human’s lives" is somewhat redundant and lacks precision. "Adversely affects human lives" succinctly conveys the detrimental effects of stress in a more formal manner.
"This objective of this essay" -> "The objective of this essay"
Explanation: The repetition of "this" is unnecessary and detracts from the clarity of the sentence. Removing the second "this" results in a more concise and grammatically correct sentence.
"there are various potential impacts" -> "There are numerous potential consequences"
Explanation: "Various potential impacts" is vague and lacks specificity. "Numerous potential consequences" provides a clearer and more precise description of the effects of stress.
"To illustrate, people may suffer from mental illness like depression" -> "For instance, individuals may experience mental illnesses such as depression"
Explanation: "Like depression" is imprecise and lacks grammatical accuracy. "Such as depression" is a more appropriate construction, and using "individuals" instead of "people" adds formality.
"people lose concentrate on doing everything" -> "individuals experience a lack of concentration in all activities"
Explanation: "Lose concentrate" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Experience a lack of concentration" is a more precise and formal expression.
"strain leaves negative consequences" -> "stress yields adverse outcomes"
Explanation: "Leaves negative consequences" is somewhat colloquial. "Yields adverse outcomes" is a more formal and precise way to express the negative effects of stress.
"it results in bad habits like drug abuse" -> "it can lead to detrimental habits such as drug abuse"
Explanation: "Bad habits like" is too casual for academic writing. "Detrimental habits such as" maintains formality while providing a more accurate description.
"Moreover, they may show violence and aggression" -> "Moreover, individuals may exhibit violence and aggression"
Explanation: "Show violence and aggression" is less formal than "exhibit violence and aggression." Using "individuals" instead of "they" adds clarity and formality.
"which makes them have negative actions" -> "resulting in negative behaviors"
Explanation: "Makes them have negative actions" is awkward and lacks precision. "Resulting in negative behaviors" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"these who are under pressure" -> "those who are under pressure"
Explanation: "These who" is grammatically incorrect. "Those who" is the appropriate phrase to use in this context.
"The first solution to mention" -> "One primary solution"
Explanation: "The first solution to mention" is wordy and informal. "One primary solution" is more concise and maintains formality.
"enables them to refresh their min" -> "allows them to refresh their mind"
Explanation: "Enables them to refresh their min" contains a typographical error and lacks clarity. "Allows them to refresh their mind" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"To be more specific, a diet including a good intake of fruits and protein" -> "Specifically, a diet rich in fruits and protein"
Explanation: "A good intake of fruits and protein" is vague and lacks precision. "Rich in fruits and protein" is a more concise and formal expression.
"The final method to escape from stress" -> "A final method for alleviating stress"
Explanation: "The final method to escape from stress" is somewhat informal. "A final method for alleviating stress" is more formal and descriptive.
"Having a full sleep is a marverlous way" -> "Adequate sleep is a remarkable way"
Explanation: "Having a full sleep" is an awkward construction. "Adequate sleep" is a more precise and formal term. "Marverlous" is misspelled; "remarkable" is the correct spelling.
"stress of way a busy life" -> "stress of leading a busy life"
Explanation: "Of way a busy life" is grammatically incorrect. "Of leading a busy life" is a more accurate expression.
"It is important that people lead a healthy lifestyle to overcome stress of way a busy life" -> "It is crucial for individuals to adopt a healthy lifestyle to manage the stress inherent in a busy life"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle to manage stress and uses more formal language to convey the message effectively.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the effects of stress and suggesting solutions to mitigate it. It identifies various consequences of stress on health, behavior, and relationships, and provides recommendations for stress management.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, ensure each aspect of the prompt is thoroughly explored. Provide more specific examples and delve deeper into the effects of stress to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on stress and its impacts throughout. It asserts that stress has negative consequences and offers solutions to alleviate it, providing a consistent stance.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, explicitly state the main argument or thesis in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Use transitions to smoothly guide the reader through each point.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the effects of stress and solutions to manage it. It offers examples such as mental health issues, unhealthy behaviors, and stress management techniques like physical activity and balanced diet.
- How to improve: Extend ideas by providing more detailed explanations and evidence to support each point. Include real-life examples, statistics, or studies to bolster the credibility of the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing the effects of stress and suggesting solutions. However, there are minor instances of drift, such as briefly mentioning the importance of sleep without elaborating on its relevance to stress management.
- How to improve: Ensure every point directly relates to the topic of stress and its effects. Avoid tangents or vague statements that may detract from the central theme. If introducing new ideas, clearly connect them back to the main discussion of stress.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the effects of stress and proposing solutions, there is room for improvement in providing more specific examples, strengthening the clarity of the argument, and staying focused on the topic throughout. With these enhancements, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to organize information logically by presenting an introduction, body paragraphs discussing the effects of stress, and solutions, followed by a conclusion summarizing the key points. However, the organization lacks clarity and coherence. The transition between discussing the effects of stress and presenting solutions could be smoother to improve the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider restructuring the essay to clearly separate the discussion of effects and solutions. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and smoothly transition to the next. Additionally, provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through the essay’s structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs, but their structure and effectiveness vary. Each paragraph attempts to address a specific aspect of the topic, such as the effects of stress or proposed solutions. However, some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it challenging for readers to grasp the main idea.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point of the paragraph. Additionally, focus on developing cohesive paragraphs by providing supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument. Consider revising paragraph structure to improve coherence and readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "however," "in addition," and "finally," to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited, resulting in occasional abrupt transitions and a lack of overall cohesion.
- How to improve: Increase the variety and frequency of cohesive devices to enhance the coherence of the essay. Incorporate a broader range of transition words and phrases to establish smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure consistent use of pronouns and other referencing devices to maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of stress and its effects. Words such as "consequences," "depression," "anxiety disorders," "strain," "habits," "violence," "aggression," "relationship," "physical activity," "balanced diet," "stress management," "tension," and "healthy lifestyle" are appropriately used. However, some repetition and lack of variety in vocabulary usage can be observed, limiting the demonstration of an extensive lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more diverse and nuanced vocabulary related to stress and its effects. Thesaurus tools can be helpful in discovering synonyms and alternatives. Additionally, aim to use idiomatic expressions and collocations to enrich the vocabulary further. For example, instead of repeatedly using "stress," consider alternatives like "pressure," "strain," "burden," or "tension" where appropriate. Also, explore different word forms (nouns, verbs, adjectives) to add depth to your writing.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with adequate precision, effectively conveying the intended meanings. However, there are instances where the choice of words could be more precise. For example, the phrase "refresh their min" could be clearer with a more precise term like "refresh their minds." Similarly, using "marverlous" instead of "marvelous" indicates a spelling error, but also affects precision.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to word choice to ensure precise expression of ideas. Utilize vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning and context of the essay. Proofreading carefully for spelling errors is crucial to maintain precision and clarity. Additionally, consider the connotations and subtleties of words to select the most appropriate terms for your writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "min" instead of "mind" and "marverlous" instead of "marvelous." While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, they affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar check tools available in word processing software. Additionally, develop a habit of proofreading your work thoroughly before submission to identify and correct spelling errors. Practicing spelling through exercises and quizzes can also help reinforce correct spelling patterns. Finally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words to avoid recurring errors in your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a tendency towards using simpler structures, which occasionally affects the fluency and sophistication of the writing. For example, there is frequent reliance on basic sentence structures such as subject-verb-object construction. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they are not consistently utilized throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses, participial phrases, and relative clauses. This can elevate the sophistication of your writing and provide a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, vary the sentence beginnings and lengths to maintain reader engagement and avoid monotony.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes that slightly impede clarity and coherence. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("objective of this essay is" should be "objective of this essay is to") and punctuation (e.g., missing commas in compound sentences).
- How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the correct use of punctuation marks such as commas and apostrophes. Proofreading your work carefully after writing can help identify and correct these errors. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to improve accuracy further.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, stress has emerged as a pervasive issue negatively impacting individuals’ lives. The objective of this essay is to examine the consequences of stress and recommend several measures to address it.

There are various potential impacts of being under pressure. The most obvious effect is that it leads to severe health problems. For instance, people may suffer from mental illnesses like depression and anxiety disorders, as well as physical issues such as headaches and tiredness. As a result, their concentration on tasks declines, negatively affecting their work or studies. Additionally, stress leaves negative consequences on people’s behaviors. For example, it may lead to harmful habits such as drug abuse and alcohol addiction. Moreover, individuals under stress might exhibit violence and aggression, leading to negative actions and the formation of detrimental behaviors. Finally, stress negatively influences personal relationships. Specifically, those who are under pressure tend to avoid interactions, causing them to drift apart from others.

There are various measures that could be taken to alleviate stress. The first solution is for individuals to engage in regular physical activity. For instance, participating in outdoor activities such as playing sports, swimming, and jogging helps refresh their minds after stressful hours at school or work. Another alternative is maintaining a balanced diet. Specifically, a diet rich in fruits and proteins helps individuals stay healthy, which is crucial for managing stress. The final method to escape from stress is to maintain a balanced work-life schedule. Ensuring adequate sleep is a marvelous way to not only boost energy but also relieve tension.

In summary, although the negative effects of stress are manifold, there are effective strategies for stress management. It is essential for people to lead a healthy lifestyle to combat the stresses of a busy modern life.