write an essay with the topic and following cues Travel past, present and tuture • how travel in the past was sometimes more comfortable than it is today • environmental problems that are caused by different ways of travelling • what changes to travel you expect to see in your lifetime

write an essay with the topic and following cues Travel past, present and tuture

• how travel in the past was sometimes more comfortable than it is today

• environmental problems that are caused by different ways of travelling

• what changes to travel you expect to see in your lifetime

Travel, a fundamental human endeavor, has evolved dramatically over centuries. From arduous journeys by foot or horseback to the swift and efficient transportation of today, the ways in which people move across the globe have undergone a profound transformation. While modern travel often offers unprecedented convenience and speed, there are aspects of travel in the past that were undeniably more comfortable.

In earlier eras, travel was often a slower, more deliberate affair. This leisurely pace allowed for a deeper connection with the journey itself. Travelers could savor the scenery, interact with locals, and immerse themselves in the rhythm of life along the way. The absence of modern conveniences, such as smartphones and laptops, forced people to engage with their surroundings in a more meaningful way. This unhurried approach to travel could be seen as a luxury in today's fast-paced world.

However, the convenience and speed of modern travel have come at a significant cost. The widespread use of airplanes, automobiles, and other forms of transportation has contributed to a multitude of environmental problems. Emissions from these vehicles contribute to climate change, air pollution, and the depletion of natural resources. Additionally, the construction of roads, airports, and other infrastructure often disrupts ecosystems and leads to habitat destruction. These challenges highlight the urgent need for sustainable and environmentally friendly travel options.

Looking ahead, it is likely that travel will continue to evolve rapidly. Technological advancements will undoubtedly shape the future of transportation. Autonomous vehicles, hyperloop systems, and even space tourism may become commonplace. These innovations have the potential to revolutionize the way we travel, making it more efficient, accessible, and sustainable. However, it is essential to ensure that these advancements are developed and implemented in a manner that addresses environmental concerns and promotes social equity.

In conclusion, travel has undergone a remarkable transformation over time. While modern travel offers unparalleled convenience and speed, there are aspects of travel in the past that were undeniably more comfortable. The environmental challenges posed by modern transportation highlight the need for sustainable solutions. As we look to the future, it is imperative that we embrace technological advancements while also prioritizing environmental stewardship and social justice. By doing so, we can ensure that travel remains a enriching and sustainable experience for generations to come.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "fundamental human endeavor" -> "a fundamental aspect of human existence"
   Explanation: The phrase "a fundamental aspect of human existence" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence by emphasizing the inherent nature of travel in human life.

2. "arduous journeys by foot or horseback" -> "arduous journeys on foot or by horse"
   Explanation: Removing "by" after "horseback" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning with the parallel structure of "on foot" and "by horse," which improves the formal tone and clarity of the sentence.

3. "swift and efficient" -> "rapid and efficient"
   Explanation: "Rapid" is a more formal synonym for "swift," which is slightly less common in academic writing, making it more suitable for the context.

4. "unprecedented convenience and speed" -> "unparalleled convenience and speed"
   Explanation: "Unparalleled" is a more precise and formal term than "unprecedented," which is often used to describe events rather than attributes like convenience and speed.

5. "comfortable" -> "comforting"
   Explanation: "Comforting" is more appropriate in this context, as it describes the emotional or psychological aspect of comfort, which is more relevant to the discussion of travel experiences.

6. "This leisurely pace" -> "This leisurely approach"
   Explanation: "Approach" is a more formal term than "pace," which is typically used in discussions of speed or tempo, making it more suitable for describing the manner of travel.

7. "forced people to engage" -> "compelled individuals to engage"
   Explanation: "Compelled" is a more formal and precise term than "forced," and "individuals" is preferred over "people" in academic writing for its neutrality and formality.

8. "could be seen as a luxury" -> "may be regarded as a luxury"
   Explanation: "May be regarded as" is a more formal expression than "could be seen as," aligning better with academic style by introducing a possibility rather than a certainty.

9. "The absence of modern conveniences" -> "The lack of modern conveniences"
   Explanation: "Lack" is a more formal synonym for "absence," which is slightly less common in academic writing, enhancing the precision of the statement.

10. "The widespread use of airplanes, automobiles, and other forms of transportation" -> "The widespread adoption of airplanes, automobiles, and other modes of transportation"
    Explanation: "Adoption" is a more precise term than "use" in this context, as it implies a more deliberate and widespread acceptance of these modes of transportation, which is more relevant to the discussion of their impact.

11. "Emissions from these vehicles" -> "Emissions from these modes of transportation"
    Explanation: "Modes of transportation" is a more encompassing term than "vehicles," which is more specific and limited to physical vehicles, thus providing a broader context for the discussion of emissions.

12. "the construction of roads, airports, and other infrastructure" -> "the development of roads, airports, and other infrastructure"
    Explanation: "Development" is a more encompassing term than "construction," which specifically refers to the building process, and is more commonly used in academic discussions of infrastructure development.

13. "revolutionize the way we travel" -> "transform the manner in which we travel"
    Explanation: "Transform" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "revolutionize," which can be seen as overly dramatic for this context.

14. "ensuring that these advancements are developed" -> "ensuring that these advancements are developed and implemented"
    Explanation: Adding "and implemented" clarifies the scope of the action, emphasizing the need for both development and actual application of these advancements in travel technology.

15. "prioritizing environmental stewardship and social justice" -> "prioritizing environmental sustainability and social equity"
    Explanation: "Environmental sustainability" and "social equity" are more precise and formal terms than "stewardship" and "justice," aligning better with the academic and policy-oriented context of the essay.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. It discusses how travel in the past was sometimes more comfortable, noting the leisurely pace and deeper connections with the journey. It also highlights environmental problems caused by modern travel, such as emissions and habitat destruction. Finally, it speculates on future changes in travel, mentioning technological advancements like autonomous vehicles and hyperloop systems. Each part of the prompt is clearly integrated into the essay, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could include specific examples or anecdotes from the past to illustrate the comfort of historical travel. Additionally, providing concrete examples of current environmental issues, such as specific statistics or case studies, would strengthen the argument regarding modern travel’s impact.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, contrasting the comforts of past travel with the conveniences and drawbacks of modern methods. The author consistently emphasizes the importance of balancing technological advancements with environmental considerations. This clarity helps the reader follow the argument easily.
  • How to improve: To reinforce the position further, the essay could include a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main arguments. Additionally, reiterating the main position in the conclusion with a strong, summarizing statement would enhance the overall clarity.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The essay extends these ideas by discussing the implications of past travel experiences and the environmental challenges posed by modern methods. However, while the ideas are supported with logical reasoning, there is a lack of specific examples or data to substantiate the claims made, particularly regarding environmental issues.
  • How to improve: Incorporating specific examples, such as historical travel methods (e.g., trains, ships) and their comfort levels, or citing studies on environmental impacts, would provide stronger support for the arguments. Additionally, using statistics or expert opinions could further enhance the credibility of the claims.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph addressing the prompts directly. There are no significant deviations from the main subject, and the transitions between points are smooth, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the essay is largely on topic, ensuring that each point is tightly linked back to the main thesis could further improve focus. For instance, reinforcing how each aspect of travel (past, present, future) relates to the central theme of comfort versus convenience would strengthen the argument and maintain relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the complexities of travel through time. By incorporating specific examples and enhancing clarity in the thesis and conclusion, the essay could achieve an even higher level of excellence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. It begins with a historical perspective on travel, transitions into a discussion of modern travel’s environmental impacts, and concludes with predictions for the future. Each paragraph builds upon the previous one, maintaining a coherent narrative throughout. For instance, the shift from discussing the comfort of past travel to the environmental issues of present travel is smooth and well-articulated.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow further, consider using more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will help readers anticipate the content of each section more effectively. Additionally, integrating transitional phrases such as "In contrast" or "Furthermore" can strengthen the connections between ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which aids in clarity and readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as the comfort of past travel, the environmental issues of modern travel, and future travel innovations. This structure supports the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear central idea that is fully developed. For example, the paragraph on environmental problems could be expanded with specific examples or statistics to reinforce the argument. This would not only enhance the depth of the discussion but also provide a more robust structure to each paragraph.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Phrases like "however" and "additionally" effectively signal shifts in argument or introduce new points. This contributes to the overall cohesion of the essay.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using phrases like "on the other hand," "in addition to," or "consequently" can enhance the sophistication of the writing. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more engaging and fluid reading experience.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, meriting a band score of 8. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further refine the clarity and sophistication of their argumentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "arduous," "unprecedented," "immersive," and "environmental stewardship." These choices enhance the clarity and depth of the argument. The use of phrases like "profound transformation" and "leisurely pace" adds sophistication to the writing. However, there are moments where more varied synonyms could have been used to avoid repetition, particularly with terms like "travel" and "modern."
  • How to improve: To further enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or related phrases for commonly repeated words. For instance, instead of repeating "travel," alternatives like "journey," "voyage," or "expedition" could be incorporated. This will enrich the essay and demonstrate a broader lexical range.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary used is largely precise and appropriate for the context. For example, the phrase "environmental problems" accurately conveys the issues discussed, and "technological advancements" is fitting when referring to future changes in travel. However, the term "luxury" in the context of the past travel experience could be seen as slightly imprecise, as it may imply exclusivity rather than a general characteristic of travel at that time.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, consider rephrasing "luxury" to something like "privilege" or "rare opportunity," which may better capture the essence of the leisurely travel experience without suggesting that it was available only to a select few. Additionally, ensure that all terms used align closely with the intended meaning to avoid any ambiguity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "environment," "convenience," and "sustainable" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
  • How to improve: While spelling is already strong, maintaining this level of accuracy is crucial. Regularly practicing spelling through writing exercises or using tools like spell check can help reinforce this skill. Additionally, reading widely can expose the writer to correct spelling in various contexts, further solidifying their ability to spell accurately.

In summary, the essay showcases a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. To elevate this score further, focus on enhancing vocabulary variety, ensuring precise word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy through consistent practice.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "While modern travel often offers unprecedented convenience and speed, there are aspects of travel in the past that were undeniably more comfortable" showcases an effective combination of clauses that adds depth to the argument. Additionally, the use of conditional structures in "it is essential to ensure that these advancements are developed and implemented in a manner that addresses environmental concerns" further illustrates the writer’s ability to manipulate grammatical forms effectively.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures even further, consider incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and lengths. For example, starting sentences with adverbial phrases (e.g., "In contrast," "Despite these advancements,") can create a more engaging flow. Additionally, using more passive voice constructions where appropriate could add variety, such as "Environmental problems are often exacerbated by…" instead of consistently using active voice.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "the ways in which people move across the globe have undergone a profound transformation" is grammatically sound and effectively conveys the intended meaning. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with commas used appropriately to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas in lists; for instance, "climate change, air pollution, and the depletion of natural resources" correctly uses the Oxford comma, but this could be more consistently applied throughout.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on proofreading for minor errors and ensuring consistency in punctuation. It may also be beneficial to review complex sentence constructions to ensure clarity. For instance, simplifying overly complex sentences or breaking them into two can enhance readability. Additionally, practicing the use of punctuation in lists and compound sentences will help solidify these skills.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By incorporating the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate their writing to achieve an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

Travel, a fundamental aspect of human existence, has evolved dramatically over centuries. From arduous journeys on foot or by horse to the rapid and efficient transportation of today, the ways in which people move across the globe have undergone a profound transformation. While modern travel often offers unparalleled convenience and speed, there are aspects of travel in the past that were undeniably more comfortable.

In earlier eras, travel was often a slower, more deliberate affair. This leisurely approach allowed for a deeper connection with the journey itself. Travelers could savor the scenery, interact with locals, and immerse themselves in the rhythm of life along the way. The lack of modern conveniences, such as smartphones and laptops, compelled individuals to engage with their surroundings in a more meaningful way. This unhurried approach to travel may be regarded as a luxury in today’s fast-paced world.

However, the comfort and ease of modern travel have come at a significant cost. The widespread adoption of airplanes, automobiles, and other modes of transportation has contributed to a multitude of environmental problems. Emissions from these vehicles exacerbate climate change, air pollution, and the depletion of natural resources. Additionally, the development of roads, airports, and other infrastructure often disrupts ecosystems and leads to habitat destruction. These challenges highlight the urgent need for sustainable and environmentally friendly travel options.

Looking ahead, it is likely that travel will continue to transform the manner in which we travel. Technological advancements will undoubtedly shape the future of transportation. Autonomous vehicles, hyperloop systems, and even space tourism may become commonplace. These innovations have the potential to revolutionize travel, making it more efficient, accessible, and sustainable. However, it is essential to ensure that these advancements are developed and implemented while prioritizing environmental sustainability and social equity.

In conclusion, travel has undergone a remarkable transformation over time. While modern travel offers comforting convenience and speed, there are aspects of travel in the past that were undeniably more comfortable. The environmental challenges posed by contemporary transportation underscore the need for sustainable solutions. As we look to the future, it is imperative that we embrace technological advancements while also ensuring that these advancements are developed with a focus on environmental stewardship and social justice. By doing so, we can ensure that travel remains an enriching and sustainable experience for generations to come.