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Write between 150-200 words about how to form a good first impression on a colleague.

Write between 150-200 words about how to form a good first impression on a colleague.

There are many ways to make a good first impression when meeting a co-worker. But not everyone makes a good impression. Here are three things to remember to make the best first impression.
First, we have to understand the psychology behind first impressions. We often form these impressions within seconds of meeting someone. Factors like body language by maintaining an open and approachable posture. Also, we should stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile to demonstrate confidence and positivity through verbal communication
Second, be authentic, be yourself, and let your true personality shine through. People are more likely to connect with you when they feel authentic. Trying to be someone you are not can lead to inconsistencies and potential misunderstandings later on.
Especially when you are just starting out when many of us are not confident. What we do is start with questions. Like, “Hey, where are you from?” or "How long have you been here" etc., and when no one knows you, they don't want to spend time with you. they don't want to have to do the work. because you feel that the more questions you ask, the less they talk. if you approach it from a giving perspective. you're bringing value to the other person. i like to tell them something i noticed about them. for example "Hey, you look like a very creative person" or "You look like you've been here before" or "I noticed the jacket you're wearing" etc. When you give people perspective, they get curious. they think you took the time to learn a little about them and come to a conclusion. so you want to give people a good feeling if you make them feel good, they'll talk to keep talking to you.
so show a genuine interest in the person you're meeting. So the key to making a good first impression is to prepare your conversation, be yourself, be genuinely interested in the people around you and don't forget to smile as a friendly greeting during the first meeting.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "There are many ways to make a good first impression when meeting a co-worker." -> "There are numerous strategies for making a positive first impression when meeting a colleague."
    Explanation: Replacing "many ways" with "numerous strategies" and "co-worker" with "colleague" enhances the formality and specificity of the language used in an academic context.

  2. "But not everyone makes a good impression." -> "However, not all individuals make a favorable impression."
    Explanation: Changing "But" to "However" and "everyone" to "all individuals" refines the transition and maintains a more formal tone.

  3. "Here are three things to remember to make the best first impression." -> "The following three factors are crucial for making the best first impression."
    Explanation: Replacing "Here are three things to remember" with "The following three factors are crucial" shifts the tone to a more formal and assertive academic style.

  4. "we have to understand" -> "it is essential to understand"
    Explanation: Changing "we have to" to "it is essential to" shifts the focus from a personal obligation to a necessity, which is more appropriate for academic writing.

  5. "We often form these impressions within seconds of meeting someone." -> "These impressions are frequently formed within seconds of meeting someone."
    Explanation: Changing "We often form" to "These impressions are frequently formed" removes the personal pronoun and shifts the focus to the impressions themselves, which is more suitable for an academic context.

  6. "Factors like body language by maintaining an open and approachable posture." -> "Factors such as maintaining an open and approachable posture through body language."
    Explanation: Rearranging the sentence improves clarity and flow, and replacing "like" with "such as" provides a more formal transition.

  7. "Also, we should stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile to demonstrate confidence and positivity through verbal communication" -> "Additionally, maintaining a straight posture, making eye contact, and smiling can convey confidence and positivity through verbal communication."
    Explanation: Replacing "Also" with "Additionally" and rephrasing the sentence improves the flow and formality of the language.

  8. "be authentic, be yourself, and let your true personality shine through" -> "be authentic, remain true to yourself, and allow your genuine personality to shine through"
    Explanation: Replacing "be yourself" with "remain true to yourself" and "let your true personality shine through" with "allow your genuine personality to shine through" uses more formal and precise language.

  9. "Especially when you are just starting out when many of us are not confident." -> "Especially when starting out, as many individuals may not be confident."
    Explanation: Changing "when you are just starting out when many of us are not confident" to "when starting out, as many individuals may not be confident" corrects the awkward phrasing and enhances clarity and formality.

  10. "What we do is start with questions." -> "We begin by asking questions."
    Explanation: Replacing "What we do is start with questions" with "We begin by asking questions" simplifies and formalizes the language.

  11. "Like, “Hey, where are you from?” or "How long have you been here" etc.," -> "Such as, “Where are you from?” or “How long have you been here?” and so on,"
    Explanation: Replacing "Like" with "Such as" and "etc." with "and so on" corrects the informal tone and enhances the formality of the list.

  12. "they don’t want to spend time with you. they don’t want to have to do the work." -> "they do not wish to invest time in you or engage in conversation."
    Explanation: Replacing "they don’t want to spend time with you. they don’t want to have to do the work" with "they do not wish to invest time in you or engage in conversation" refines the language to be more formal and precise.

  13. "because you feel that the more questions you ask, the less they talk." -> "because it is perceived that the more questions asked, the less they respond."
    Explanation: Changing "because you feel" to "because it is perceived" and "the less they talk" to "the less they respond" uses more formal and objective language.

  14. "if you approach it from a giving perspective." -> "if you adopt a giving perspective."
    Explanation: Replacing "approach it from" with "adopt" simplifies and formalizes the phrase.

  15. "you’re bringing value to the other person." -> "you are providing value to the other person."
    Explanation: Replacing "you’re" with "you are" corrects the contraction for formal writing, and adding a period after "person" improves the sentence structure.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by outlining several strategies for making a good first impression on a colleague. It identifies key elements such as understanding body language, being authentic, and engaging in conversation. However, the essay could have been more structured in presenting these ideas, as the flow between points is somewhat disjointed. For example, the transition from discussing body language to authenticity lacks a clear connection, which can confuse the reader about how these elements relate to forming a first impression.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each point is clearly linked to the overall theme of making a good first impression. Using transitional phrases and maintaining a logical progression of ideas would help clarify how each strategy contributes to the overall goal. Additionally, explicitly addressing the importance of each point in relation to first impressions would strengthen the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position on the importance of making a good first impression, emphasizing authenticity and engagement. However, the position could be more consistently articulated throughout the essay. For instance, the latter part of the essay introduces various conversational strategies but does not clearly tie them back to the main thesis of making a good first impression, which may lead to some ambiguity about the writer’s primary message.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should restate the main thesis at the beginning and end of the essay, reinforcing the central argument. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly relates back to the thesis would help maintain focus and coherence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to making a good first impression, such as body language and authenticity. However, the support for these ideas is sometimes weak or unclear. For example, while the essay mentions the importance of body language, it does not provide specific examples or evidence to illustrate how these behaviors impact first impressions. Furthermore, the conversational strategies mentioned are somewhat vague and could benefit from more detailed explanations.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate how each strategy can be effectively employed. For instance, instead of simply stating that one should make eye contact, the writer could describe a scenario where eye contact led to a positive interaction. This would not only clarify the point but also engage the reader more effectively.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on how to make a good first impression. However, there are moments where the writing becomes somewhat convoluted, particularly in the latter part where the writer discusses asking questions and giving compliments. This section could be perceived as deviating from the main topic due to its lack of clarity and coherence.
    • How to improve: To maintain a stronger focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that each point directly relates to the central theme of first impressions. Avoiding overly complex sentences and ensuring that each idea is clearly articulated will help keep the discussion relevant. Additionally, summarizing key points at the end of each section could reinforce the connection to the main topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction that outlines the topic and three main points that follow. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing body language to authenticity feels abrupt and lacks a clear linking sentence. The final point about asking questions and showing interest is somewhat disjointed and could benefit from a more explicit connection to the previous ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing body language, a sentence like "In addition to non-verbal cues, authenticity plays a crucial role in first impressions" would create a clearer connection. Additionally, summarizing each point before moving to the next can help reinforce the structure.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which affects readability and coherence. Currently, the entire text is presented as one block, making it challenging for the reader to follow the distinct ideas. Each main point should ideally be separated into its own paragraph to emphasize its importance and allow for easier navigation through the essay.
    • How to improve: Implement a paragraph structure where each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea. For example, start a new paragraph for the discussion on body language, another for authenticity, and a final one for the importance of asking questions and showing interest. This will not only improve clarity but also enhance the overall organization of the essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "especially," which help in listing points. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "What we do is start with questions" lacks a cohesive link to the previous sentence, making it feel somewhat isolated.
    • How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases such as "Moreover," "Furthermore," and "On the other hand." Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help maintain cohesion. For instance, instead of repeating "first impression," you could use "this initial encounter" in subsequent sentences to create a smoother flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, enhancing the organization, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will significantly improve coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "psychology," "body language," "authentic," and "genuine interest." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety in expression. For instance, the phrase "make a good first impression" is used multiple times without variation, which could detract from the overall quality of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could explore synonyms or related phrases. Instead of repeatedly saying "make a good first impression," alternatives like "create a positive initial impact" or "establish a favorable perception" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to social interactions or communication could elevate the essay’s lexical range.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of vague or imprecise language. For example, the phrase "demonstrate confidence and positivity through verbal communication" could be clearer; it suggests that verbal communication alone conveys confidence, which may not be the case. Furthermore, the sentence structure becomes convoluted, making it difficult to follow the intended meaning.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision. For instance, instead of saying "demonstrate confidence and positivity through verbal communication," it could be rephrased to "exhibit confidence and positivity through both verbal and non-verbal cues." This not only clarifies the message but also enhances the overall coherence of the writing.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling and grammatical errors, such as "co-worker" (should be hyphenated as "co-worker") and issues with capitalization and punctuation (e.g., "they don’t want to have to do the work. because you feel that the more questions you ask, the less they talk"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling and grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or grammar-checking software can help identify errors before submission. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can assist in catching awkward phrasing and punctuation mistakes, leading to a more polished final product.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and includes relevant ideas, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, sentences like "First, we have to understand the psychology behind first impressions" and "Second, be authentic, be yourself, and let your true personality shine through" show an attempt to use different structures effectively. However, there are also instances of repetitive sentence patterns, particularly in the use of coordinating conjunctions ("and," "but") which leads to a monotonous rhythm. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and convoluted, such as "What we do is start with questions. Like, ‘Hey, where are you from?’ or ‘How long have you been here’ etc." which could be more effectively combined or restructured for clarity.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences and varying the use of conjunctions. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "First" and "Second," try using transitional phrases or clauses to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, breaking down long sentences into shorter, clearer ones can improve readability and engagement.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "Factors like body language by maintaining an open and approachable posture" is grammatically incorrect and lacks a main verb. Furthermore, there are instances of run-on sentences, such as "they don’t want to spend time with you. they don’t want to have to do the work," which should be separated or restructured for clarity. Punctuation errors are also present, such as missing commas in lists and after introductory clauses, which can confuse readers.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments, and run-on sentences. Practicing the use of punctuation rules, especially in complex sentences and lists, will also enhance clarity. For example, ensure that commas are used to separate items in a list and to set off introductory phrases. Additionally, revising sentences for clarity and coherence will help to convey ideas more effectively.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at addressing the prompt, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are many ways to make a good first impression when meeting a colleague. However, not everyone makes a favorable impression. Here are three things to remember to make the best first impression.

First, it is essential to understand the psychology behind first impressions. These impressions are frequently formed within seconds of meeting someone. Factors such as maintaining an open and approachable posture through body language are crucial. Additionally, we should stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile to demonstrate confidence and positivity through verbal communication.

Second, be authentic, remain true to yourself, and allow your genuine personality to shine through. People are more likely to connect with you when they feel you are being authentic. Trying to be someone you are not can lead to inconsistencies and potential misunderstandings later on, especially when starting out, as many individuals may not be confident.

We begin by asking questions, like “Hey, where are you from?” or “How long have you been here?” When no one knows you, they may not wish to invest time in you or engage in conversation. This is because it is perceived that the more questions you ask, the less they respond. However, if you adopt a giving perspective, you are providing value to the other person. For example, you might say, “Hey, you look like a very creative person,” or “I noticed the jacket you’re wearing.” When you give people perspective, they become curious and feel that you took the time to learn a little about them.

So, show a genuine interest in the person you’re meeting. The key to making a good first impression is to prepare your conversation, be yourself, and don’t forget to smile as a friendly greeting during the first meeting.

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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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