You have approximately 20 minutes to complete this task. The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

You have approximately 20 minutes to complete this task.

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

The diagram provided illustrates the comparison of the design of a harbour in the year 2000 and its present layout.

Overall, it is clear that the harbour underwent numerous changes over the whole time, especially in the west side of the harbour. In addition, cafes and shops and hotel was built.

Looking at the west part of the harbour, as can be seen that fishing boats and marina which used for private yatchs changed positions for each other. While marina initially located in the north-western side, now it moves to the south west of the harbour, which was the original situation of fishing boats. Furthermore, in 2000, there was just one showers and toilets and two car park; however, after that one showers and toilets was constructed in the same side of marina.

Anoticeable change that happened was the appearance of the second dock which is located in the middle of the harbour. Castle which is located on the bottom right of the harbour design was diminished to make way for a hotel. Moreover, the public beach next to it became private beach used for the hotel. In addition, the emergence of cafes and shops situated nearby lifebpat and a small road was also witnessed.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The diagram provided illustrates the comparison of the design of a harbour in the year 2000 and its present layout." -> "The diagram illustrates a comparison of the harbour’s design in 2000 and its current layout."
Explanation: Removing "the provided" simplifies and clarifies the sentence, making it more direct and formal.
"it is clear that the harbour underwent numerous changes" -> "it is evident that the harbour has undergone significant changes"
Explanation: "It is evident" is a more formal expression than "it is clear," and "significant" provides a more precise description of the extent of the changes.
"especially in the west side of the harbour" -> "particularly on the western side of the harbour"
Explanation: "Particularly" is more formal than "especially," and "western" is the correct adjective for "side" in this context.
"cafes and shops and hotel was built" -> "cafes, shops, and a hotel were built"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error from "was" to "were" and adding commas for clarity and correctness.
"as can be seen that" -> "as evident from"
Explanation: "As evident from" is a more formal and precise way to introduce visual information.
"used for private yatchs" -> "used for private yachts"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "yatchs" to "yachts."
"While marina initially located in the north-western side, now it moves to the south west of the harbour" -> "Initially, the marina was located in the northwestern side, but it has now moved to the southwestern side of the harbour"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the sequence of events and corrects the geographical direction.
"one showers and toilets was constructed" -> "one shower and toilet was constructed"
Explanation: Correcting the plural to singular for "showers" and "toilets" and using "was" instead of "were" for singular subject agreement.
"Anoticeable change" -> "An noticeable change"
Explanation: Adding the indefinite article "An" before "noticeable" corrects the article usage.
"Castle which is located on the bottom right of the harbour design was diminished" -> "The castle, located at the bottom right of the harbour design, was demolished"
Explanation: "Demolished" is more specific than "diminished," and adding "The" before "castle" corrects the article usage.
"public beach next to it became private beach used for the hotel" -> "the public beach adjacent to it was converted into a private beach for the hotel"
Explanation: "Adjacent" is more precise than "next to," and "was converted into" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the change.
"emergence of cafes and shops situated nearby lifebpat and a small road was also witnessed" -> "the emergence of cafes and shops near the lifepat and a small road was also observed"
Explanation: Correcting the typo "lifebpat" to "lifepat" and changing "situated nearby" to "near" for conciseness and clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the changes to the harbour. It also presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points, such as the change in position of the marina and fishing boats, the addition of a second dock, and the construction of a hotel. However, some details are irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "the castle which is located on the bottom right of the harbour design was diminished to make way for a hotel." This is not accurate, as the castle was not diminished but replaced by a hotel.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most significant changes to the harbour and providing more accurate information. The writer should also avoid using irrelevant details and focus on presenting a clear and concise overview of the main features.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe changes in the harbour, the ideas are not always logically sequenced, and the use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate. For example, phrases like "as can be seen that" and "which was the original situation" are awkwardly constructed and disrupt the flow. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sentences feeling disconnected from the main topic. There is also repetition in the mention of facilities like showers and toilets without clear referencing, which detracts from coherence.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically structuring the essay by clearly outlining the main features and changes in separate paragraphs. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that they are used appropriately will improve the flow of ideas. Additionally, maintaining clear referencing and avoiding repetition will help clarify the relationships between different pieces of information. Lastly, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the changes in the harbour’s layout, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and collocation. For example, phrases like "fishing boats and marina which used for private yatchs" lack grammatical accuracy and clarity. Additionally, there are several spelling errors, such as "yatchs," "showers," and "Anoticeable," which can cause some difficulty for the reader. Overall, the lexical resource does not sufficiently meet the requirements for higher bands, as it lacks sophistication and precision.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure accurate word choice and collocation. Practicing synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition. Additionally, focusing on spelling and grammatical accuracy is crucial; proofreading the essay for errors before submission can significantly improve clarity and coherence. Engaging with academic texts or vocabulary exercises can also aid in expanding one’s lexical range.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentence forms. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often lack accuracy, leading to frequent grammatical errors. For instance, phrases like "was built" and "which used for private yatchs" are not correctly structured, and the use of articles is inconsistent. Additionally, punctuation errors are present, such as missing commas, which can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the text. Overall, the errors are frequent enough to hinder clarity, but they do not completely obscure the meaning.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures and ensure they are grammatically correct.
Proofreading: Review the essay for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage, to reduce mistakes.
Punctuation Practice: Pay attention to punctuation rules, particularly the use of commas in complex sentences, to improve clarity and flow.
Grammar Exercises: Engage in targeted grammar exercises to strengthen understanding and application of different grammatical structures.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram provided illustrates the comparison of the design of a harbour in the year 2000 and its present layout.

Overall, it is clear that the harbour has undergone numerous changes over this period, especially on the west side. In addition, cafes, shops, and a hotel have been constructed.

Looking at the west part of the harbour, it can be seen that the positions of the fishing boats and marina, which is used for private yachts, have changed. While the marina was initially located in the north-western side, it has now moved to the south-west of the harbour, which was the original location of the fishing boats. Furthermore, in 2000, there was just one shower and toilet facility and two car parks; however, subsequently, an additional shower and toilet facility was constructed on the same side as the marina.

A noticeable change that occurred was the appearance of a second dock, which is located in the middle of the harbour. The castle, situated at the bottom right of the harbour design, was diminished to make way for a hotel. Moreover, the public beach next to it has become a private beach used for the hotel. Additionally, the emergence of cafes and shops situated near the lifeboat and a small road was also observed.