You should spend 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend 20 minutes on this task.
The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given pie charts illustrate the origin rate of fish imported into the United States
from the above countries while the table shows the whole value in billions of dollars for the period of 12 years from 1988 .

Overall,it can be clearly observed from the pie charts that there was an upward trend in the percentage of fish exported by China and other countries, whereas Canada's decreased .Specifically , the proportion of fish imported from Canada dropped sharply .In addition ,the total value of imported fish in billion of USD increased each year and reached the highest point of 10.72 in 2000 as depicted in the table .

In 1988,the whole value of fish imported to the US was 6.57 .The proportion of fish exported by Canada accounted for more than half ,at roughly 60 percent ,followed by China at 13% and other countries at 27%. After 4 years ,the total value went up to 8.52 .While the Canada rate shrunk substantially,the percentage of China and others surged respectively at 20% and 46% .Finally ,the imported fish rate of Canada hit a lowest of 28% , the proportion of China increased gradually at 30% and the rate of other countries began to slump moderately.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"origin rate" -> "origin or source rate"
Explanation: Using "origin rate" might be confusing as it doesn’t clearly convey whether it refers to the rate of origin or source of fish. Adding "or source" clarifies the meaning.
"whole value" -> "total value"
Explanation: "Total value" is a more common and precise term to describe the overall value of imported fish.
"whereas" -> "while"
Explanation: "While" is more concise and commonly used in this context to contrast two ideas.
"Canada’s decreased" -> "Canada’s decreased proportion"
Explanation: Adding "proportion" clarifies that it refers to the percentage or proportion of fish exported by Canada.
"dropped sharply" -> "plummeted"
Explanation: "Plummeted" is a stronger and more vivid verb choice to describe a sharp decrease.
"imported fish in billion of USD" -> "imported fish in billions of USD"
Explanation: "Billions" should be in plural form to match the noun "dollars."
"reached the highest point of 10.72" -> "peaked at 10.72"
Explanation: "Peaked" is a more concise and appropriate term to describe reaching the highest point.
"In 1988,the whole value" -> "In 1988, the total value"
Explanation: Adding a comma after the year and before "the" improves readability and conforms to standard punctuation rules.
"went up to 8.52" -> "rose to 8.52"
Explanation: "Rose" is a more descriptive and formal verb choice to indicate an increase.
"shrunk substantially" -> "shrank significantly"
Explanation: "Shrank significantly" is a more precise and grammatically correct phrase to describe a substantial decrease.
"surged respectively at 20%" -> "experienced surges to 20%"
Explanation: "Experienced surges to 20%" provides a clearer expression of the increase in percentage.
"hit a lowest of 28%" -> "reached a low of 28%"
Explanation: "Reached a low of 28%" is a more grammatically correct way to express the lowest point.
"the proportion of China increased gradually" -> "China’s proportion increased gradually"
Explanation: Adding "China’s" makes the sentence clearer by specifying whose proportion increased gradually.
"rate of other countries began to slump moderately" -> "percentage from other countries began to decline moderately"
Explanation: "Percentage from other countries" is a clearer phrase to describe the decrease, and "decline" is more precise than "slump" in this context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the data. It provides an overview of the trends in fish imports to the US between 1988 and 2000, highlighting changes in the origin rates and total value. The essay describes the trends in the pie charts and table, showing an understanding of the data.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more specific details and data points from the charts and table to support its summary. Additionally, the essay could be more organized and cohesive in its presentation of the information, with clearer transitions between points. It could also avoid repetition and ensure accuracy in the descriptions.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents some organization by summarizing the main features of the data. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion. The progression of ideas is somewhat lacking, as the essay jumps between discussing the pie charts and the table without clear transitions. There is also repetition in the description of the data. Cohesive devices are used inadequately, with some attempts to link ideas, but they are not consistently effective. Additionally, the essay lacks clear paragraphing, with ideas sometimes presented in a disjointed manner.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clear structure for the essay with logical progression between ideas. Use cohesive devices more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas are presented in a cohesive manner. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing, making sure that each paragraph contains a coherent set of related ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition and a lack of variety in expressions. While the essay attempts to convey information, it lacks precision due to errors in word choice and expression. Some inaccuracies in spelling and word formation are noticeable, which may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the content.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise and varied expressions. Paying attention to word choice and ensuring accuracy in spelling and word formation will enhance clarity and coherence in the essay. Additionally, using transitional phrases and connectors can help improve the flow of ideas and coherence in the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. It attempts to convey the main features and comparisons of the data presented in the pie charts and table. The essay makes some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely reduce communication. Complex structures are attempted, but there are inaccuracies, such as "the proportion of fish imported from Canada dropped sharply .In addition". Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incomplete sentences, which slightly impede clarity.

How to improve:
To improve, the writer should focus on enhancing sentence structure variety by incorporating more complex and compound-complex sentences. Additionally, thorough proofreading is necessary to correct grammatical errors and ensure proper punctuation throughout the essay. Clarity can be enhanced by refining phrasing and ensuring complete sentences to effectively convey ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided pie charts illustrate the proportion of fish imported into the United States from various countries, while the accompanying table presents the total import values in billions of dollars over a twelve-year period from 1988.

Overall, it is evident that there was an upward trend in the percentage of fish exported by China and other nations, while Canada experienced a decline in its export rate.

In 1988, the total value of fish imported to the US stood at 6.57 billion USD. Canada dominated the market, accounting for approximately 60% of the imports, followed by China at 13%, and other countries at 27%. Over the subsequent four years, the total import value increased to 8.52 billion USD. During this period, Canada’s share decreased significantly, dropping to 28%, while China’s and other countries’ shares rose to 30% and 46%, respectively.

By the year 2000, the total import value reached its peak at 10.72 billion USD. Canada’s export rate hit its lowest point at 28%, while China’s continued to rise steadily, reaching 30%. The share of other countries experienced a moderate decline during this period.

In summary, while the total value of imported fish increased steadily over the twelve-year period, Canada’s share decreased, while China’s and other countries’ shares showed an upward trend.