You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The following process describes the production process of ethanol, which is a type of biofuel. Overall, the task consists of eight stages, beginning with organic folia gathering and ending with the distribution of biofuel for transportation to use.

At the first stage of the production cycle, plants and trees utilize energy sources from the environment, mainly sunlight and carbon dioxide, to develop; next, they are chopped off or cut down and delivered to the place where they will be pre-processed. In the next stage, a grinder will convert those harvested raw materials into smaller chunks; afterward, the making of cellulose, the intermediate material, will end this part.

Once the cellulose is created, it will be converted into sugars, another intermediate product, via various chemical processes. Next, microbes will be added to convert these sugars into ethanol and ready to be used. Next, the consumption of this biofuel will release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere as a waste product; lastly, plants will absorb these gasses to grow, closing the production cycle.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"organic folia gathering" -> "the harvesting of organic foliage"
Explanation: "Organic folia gathering" is an awkward and unclear term. "The harvesting of organic foliage" is more precise and natural in academic language, clearly indicating the action of collecting plant material.
"plants and trees utilize energy sources" -> "plants and trees utilize energy from the environment"
Explanation: The phrase "energy sources" is vague and could encompass various forms of energy. Specifying "energy from the environment" clarifies that the context is referring to sunlight and carbon dioxide.
"mainly sunlight and carbon dioxide" -> "primarily sunlight and carbon dioxide"
Explanation: "Mainly" is less formal and slightly vague; "primarily" is more precise and suitable for academic writing.
"chopped off or cut down" -> "harvested or felled"
Explanation: "Chopped off or cut down" is informal and redundant. "Harvested or felled" is more formal and specific to the context of plant removal.
"delivered to the place where they will be pre-processed" -> "transported to the site for preprocessing"
Explanation: "Delivered to the place where they will be pre-processed" is verbose and informal. "Transported to the site for preprocessing" is concise and maintains a formal tone.
"a grinder will convert" -> "a grinder converts"
Explanation: The present tense "converts" is more direct and appropriate for describing a process that is part of a continuous cycle.
"the making of cellulose" -> "the production of cellulose"
Explanation: "The making of cellulose" is less precise and slightly informal. "The production of cellulose" is the standard term in scientific and academic contexts.
"microbes will be added to convert these sugars into ethanol" -> "microorganisms are used to convert these sugars into ethanol"
Explanation: "Microbes" is a less specific term; "microorganisms" is more precise and commonly used in scientific contexts. Also, "are used to" is more formal than "will be added to."
"the consumption of this biofuel will release carbon dioxide" -> "the combustion of this biofuel releases carbon dioxide"
Explanation: "The consumption of this biofuel" is incorrect as consumption refers to eating or using up, not the process of burning. "The combustion of this biofuel releases carbon dioxide" accurately describes the chemical reaction involved.
"as a waste product" -> "as a byproduct"
Explanation: "As a waste product" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "As a byproduct" is the correct term for materials produced during a process, making it more appropriate for academic writing.
"plants will absorb these gasses" -> "plants absorb these gases"
Explanation: "Gasses" is not the correct plural form of gas; "gases" is the correct plural form. Also, using the present tense "absorb" aligns better with the ongoing process described.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng:

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, presenting a clear overall progression from the initial gathering of organic materials to the final distribution of ethanol. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances where cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to a somewhat mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured, as some stages of the process are grouped together in a way that may confuse the reader.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer could focus on improving the logical flow between sentences by using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that each stage of the process is clearly delineated in separate paragraphs. Additionally, incorporating clearer referencing and substitution techniques would help reduce repetition and enhance clarity. Finally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic would strengthen the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, effectively conveying the main features of the ethanol production process. The use of terms such as "biofuel," "organic folia," and "intermediate product" indicates an attempt to incorporate less common vocabulary. However, there are inaccuracies, such as "folia" which should be "foliage," and some awkward phrasing that detracts from clarity. Errors in word choice and minor spelling mistakes are present but do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision. This includes ensuring correct word forms and improving collocation (e.g., using "foliage" instead of "folia"). Additionally, incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and expressions, as well as reducing errors in spelling and word formation, would help achieve a higher band score. Practicing with synonyms and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more fluent and flexible use of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While the writer attempts to convey the production process of ethanol clearly, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation. For instance, phrases like "the making of cellulose, the intermediate material, will end this part" could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are some awkward constructions, such as "the consumption of this biofuel will release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere as a waste product," which could be simplified for better clarity. Overall, while the meaning is generally clear, the errors occasionally hinder the flow of information.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Sentence Structure: Incorporate a wider variety of complex sentences while ensuring that they are grammatically correct. This could involve using more subordinate clauses effectively.
Error Correction: Proofread the essay to identify and correct grammatical and punctuation errors. This includes ensuring subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles.
Clarity and Conciseness: Aim for clearer expressions by avoiding overly complex constructions that may confuse the reader. Simplifying some sentences can enhance overall readability.
Practice: Regularly practice writing essays and seek feedback to identify common errors and areas for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

The following process describes the production of ethanol, which is a type of biofuel. Overall, the task consists of eight stages, beginning with the gathering of organic foliage and ending with the distribution of biofuel for transportation and use.

At the first stage of the production cycle, plants and trees utilize energy sources from the environment, mainly sunlight and carbon dioxide, to grow. Next, they are chopped down and delivered to the facility where they will be pre-processed. In the subsequent stage, a grinder converts these harvested raw materials into smaller chunks; afterward, the production of cellulose, the intermediate material, concludes this part.

Once the cellulose is created, it is converted into sugars, another intermediate product, through various chemical processes. Following this, microbes are added to convert these sugars into ethanol, making it ready for use. The consumption of this biofuel releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere as a waste product; finally, plants absorb these gases to grow, thereby closing the production cycle.