You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012 You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries.

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph provides information about the percentage of the exportation of Australia to four nations ( Japan, US, China and India) over the period from 1990 to 2012.
It can be clear that China was the most potential country for exportation because the percentage of Australian exports to China had increased significantly from 1990 to 2012. Otherwise, three countries Japan, US and India had no great of fluctuations for over similar period.
Starting with higher positions than three orhter nations ( China, India, and US). Japan had more than 25% of exportation of Australia in 1990, but lately it had rapid decline to 20% in 1995 and kept falling down below 20%. This situation was similar with US, but The US began with lower starting point of the percentage of exportation at about 12% and had a slightly increasing about 3% from about 9% 1995 to more than 11% in 2000.
India had the begining with a starting level close to the bottom at about 1% and then the percentage of Australian exportation to India had rising stable from 1990 and it got growing to the peak of nearly 10% in 2010 before ropping to about 5% in 2012.
Finally the most potential country which had the highest augmentation percentage of exportation of Australia from over the period. China had a starting point nearly with India, but then it had a biger change than India. Begining with the rising from about 1% to 5% in 2000 before it incresed significantly to the top to 30% in 2012.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the percentage of the exportation of Australia" -> "the percentage of Australian exports"
Explanation: The phrase "the percentage of the exportation of Australia" is unnecessarily wordy and can be made more concise. "Australian exports" is simpler and retains the intended meaning.
"It can be clear" -> "It is evident"
Explanation: "It can be clear" suggests a conditional clarity, which is inappropriate here. "It is evident" directly states that the information is clear, which is more suitable for formal and factual writing.
"the most potential country" -> "the country with the greatest potential"
Explanation: "The most potential country" is an awkward construction. Using "the country with the greatest potential" is grammatically correct and sounds more natural in English.
"Otherwise" -> "Conversely"
Explanation: "Otherwise" implies a condition or alternative, which does not fit this context. "Conversely" is used to introduce a statement that contrasts with something that has just been mentioned, making it more appropriate here.
"no great of fluctuations" -> "no significant fluctuations"
Explanation: "No great of fluctuations" is grammatically incorrect. "No significant fluctuations" is the correct expression to indicate minimal changes in a formal and clear manner.
"orhter" -> "other"
Explanation: "Orhter" appears to be a typographical error. The correct spelling is "other".
"lately it had rapid decline" -> "it then experienced a rapid decline"
Explanation: "Lately it had rapid decline" is grammatically awkward and uses "lately" incorrectly as it refers to a past period. "It then experienced a rapid decline" corrects this by providing a clear temporal transition and corrects the grammatical structure.
"a slightly increasing about 3%" -> "a slight increase of approximately 3%"
Explanation: "A slightly increasing about 3%" is grammatically incorrect. "A slight increase of approximately 3%" corrects the grammar and makes the description more precise.
"the begining with a starting level" -> "beginning at a starting level"
Explanation: "The begining with a starting level" is redundant and incorrectly uses "the." Removing "the" and correcting "begining" to "beginning" simplifies and corrects the phrase.
"had rising stable" -> "rose steadily"
Explanation: "Had rising stable" is grammatically awkward and unclear. "Rose steadily" is grammatically correct and clearly describes the gradual increase.
"it got growing to the peak" -> "it steadily increased to a peak"
Explanation: "It got growing to the peak" is colloquial and grammatically incorrect in this context. "It steadily increased to a peak" provides a clearer and more formal description of the growth pattern.
"ropping to about 5%" -> "dropping to about 5%"
Explanation: "Ropping" is a typographical error. The correct term is "dropping," which means to decrease or decline.
"biger" -> "bigger"
Explanation: "Biger" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "bigger" for the correct spelling of the comparative adjective.
"incresed significantly" -> "increased significantly"
Explanation: "Incresed" is a spelling mistake. The correct spelling is "increased," which is necessary for proper grammar and readability.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the percentage of Australian exports to four countries (Japan, US, China, and India) from 1990 to 2012. It highlights key features such as the significant increase in exports to China, the fluctuating trends in exports to Japan and the US, and the steady rise followed by a decline in exports to India. However, there are some inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the presentation of data, such as incorrect percentages and unclear descriptions of trends.

How to improve: To improve the essay, ensure accurate representation of data and clearer descriptions of trends. Provide more specific and detailed information, avoiding vague statements. Additionally, organize the essay into paragraphs with clear topic sentences for better coherence and readability.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

[
Band Score: 5

Explanation:
The essay presents information with some organization, but the overall progression is unclear in places, and some sentences lack cohesion. The use of cohesive devices (such as "otherwise," "but," and "finally") is apparent, but there are issues with accuracy and sometimes redundancy, leading to an inconsistent flow. While paragraphing is used, the structure seems somewhat erratic, with some abrupt transitions between ideas. The essay sometimes repeats certain words and phrases, contributing to a sense of repetition and lacking smooth referencing and substitution.

How to improve:

Work on improving the overall progression of the essay by ensuring a clearer structure and smoother transitions between points.
Avoid overusing certain words and phrases to prevent repetition and redundancy.
Focus on using a broader range of cohesive devices to connect ideas logically and smoothly.
Ensure that paragraphing is logical and aligns with the flow of ideas.
Consider reviewing sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and reduce mechanical issues.
To maintain coherence, clearly link each piece of information to the previous or following sentences/paragraphs.
]

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, which is minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the essay, which may cause some difficulty for the reader.
How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary. Work on using more precise and varied vocabulary to convey ideas effectively. Additionally, pay attention to spelling and word formation to avoid errors that can impact readability.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex forms. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("three countries Japan, US and India had no great of fluctuations"), misuse of prepositions ("for over similar period"), and awkward phrasing ("had the highest augmentation percentage of exportation of Australia"). Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas and inconsistent use of capitalization, are noticeable. The essay attempts to include complex sentences but lacks accuracy, leading to some difficulty in comprehension.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on improving sentence structure variety, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using prepositions correctly. Proofreading for punctuation errors and consistency in capitalization is essential. Additionally, the writer should strive for clarity and precision in expression to avoid ambiguity and enhance readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided line graph illustrates the percentage of Australia’s exports to four countries (Japan, the US, China, and India) spanning from 1990 to 2012.

It is evident that China emerged as the most prominent destination for Australian exports, experiencing a substantial increase in percentage over the specified period. Conversely, Japan, the US, and India demonstrated relatively stable trends with minor fluctuations.

Commencing with a substantial share of over 25% in 1990, Japan’s export percentage experienced a rapid decline to approximately 20% by 1995, maintaining a steady decrease thereafter. Similarly, the US commenced with a lower percentage, approximately 12%, witnessing a slight increase to just over 11% by 2000.

In contrast, India began with a modest share, approximately 1%, steadily rising to nearly 10% by 2010 before declining to around 5% in 2012.

Notably, China, starting with a comparable share to India, underwent remarkable growth, increasing from about 1% to 5% by 2000 and soaring to 30% by 2012, marking it as the most significant contributor to Australian exports throughout the period under consideration.