You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional food while others believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional food while others believe that fast food is a good choice.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, the more developed the world is the more diverse and rich the cuisine. Each country, each culture will always have its own culinary identity and many articles raise the question: should we support traditional cuisine or international fast food?. I think both have their own advantages and disadvantages, and I hope this article will provide the answer to them.
Traditional cuisine is a beautiful cultural feature, the unique identity of each nation and each country. As an identity, it always has its own unique features compared to international fast food. We can consider it a symbol of a country and popularizing and supporting culinary media will be part of promoting the development of tourism and awareness of the country. For example, Vietnamese bread is considered by many people around the world as a symbol of Vietnam when mentioned. Eating traditional dishes is part of preserving our own identity, helping us always remember our roots, creating a unique brand for the country.
However, eating international fast food is not wrong. Fast food has become more and more popular in recent years because of its convenience, saving time and effort. International fast food is always available and only takes a few minutes to wait. But I think they are not good for health, because fast food recipes often contain a lot of fat leading to diseases such as obesity, blood pressure. Many fast foods are frozen products that do not ensure food hygiene and safety and can cause digestive disorders. Fast food should be used when necessary and should not be used too much to ensure health.
I think both products have their pros and cons. International fast food saves time and effort but does not guarantee health safety. On the contrary, traditional food not only creates a national brand but also helps us live healthy.
In short, I disagree with the statement in question and firmly believe that traditional foods are always welcomed by many people and I will always support them.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays." -
"the more developed the world is the more diverse and rich the cuisine" -> "the more developed the world becomes, the more diverse and rich the cuisine"
Explanation: Adding "becomes" clarifies the temporal relationship between development and diversity, enhancing the sentence’s grammatical structure and flow. -
"Each country, each culture will always have its own" -> "Each country and culture will always possess its own"
Explanation: Using "possess" instead of "have" provides a more formal and precise verb choice, aligning better with academic style. -
"many articles raise the question" -> "numerous articles pose the question"
Explanation: "Pose" is a more formal verb than "raise" in this context, fitting the academic tone better. -
"I think both have their own advantages and disadvantages" -> "Both have their respective advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Respective" is more formal and precise than "own," enhancing the academic tone. -
"I hope this article will provide the answer to them" -> "This article aims to provide answers to these questions"
Explanation: "Aims to provide answers to these questions" is more assertive and academically appropriate than "I hope," which is somewhat informal and speculative. -
"a beautiful cultural feature" -> "a distinctive cultural feature"
Explanation: "Distinctive" is more precise and academically appropriate than "beautiful," which is subjective and less formal. -
"We can consider it a symbol of a country" -> "It can be considered a national symbol"
Explanation: "It can be considered a national symbol" is more formal and precise, avoiding the casual "We can consider." -
"popularizing and supporting culinary media" -> "promoting and supporting culinary media"
Explanation: "Promoting" is a more specific and formal term than "popularizing," which is somewhat vague and informal. -
"Eating traditional dishes is part of preserving our own identity" -> "Consuming traditional dishes is an integral part of preserving our cultural identity"
Explanation: "Consuming" is more formal than "Eating," and "an integral part of preserving our cultural identity" provides a clearer and more academic expression. -
"helping us always remember our roots" -> "aiding in the preservation of our cultural heritage"
Explanation: "Aiding in the preservation of our cultural heritage" is more formal and precise, replacing the colloquial "helping us always remember our roots." -
"creating a unique brand for the country" -> "establishing a distinct national brand"
Explanation: "Establishing a distinct national brand" is more formal and specific than "creating a unique brand for the country." -
"eating international fast food is not wrong" -> "consuming international fast food is not inherently incorrect"
Explanation: "Consuming international fast food is not inherently incorrect" uses more formal vocabulary and avoids the casual tone of "eating." -
"Fast food has become more and more popular" -> "Fast food has increasingly gained popularity"
Explanation: "Increasingly gained popularity" is a more formal and precise way to describe the growing trend. -
"because fast food recipes often contain a lot of fat leading to diseases" -> "due to the high fat content in fast food recipes, which can lead to various health issues"
Explanation: "Due to the high fat content in fast food recipes, which can lead to various health issues" provides a clearer and more formal explanation. -
"Many fast foods are frozen products that do not ensure food hygiene and safety" -> "Numerous fast foods are frozen products that lack adequate food safety and hygiene standards"
Explanation: "Lack adequate food safety and hygiene standards" is a more precise and formal way to describe the issue. -
"can cause digestive disorders" -> "may cause gastrointestinal disorders"
Explanation: "May cause gastrointestinal disorders" is more specific and formal than "can cause digestive disorders." -
"Fast food should be used when necessary" -> "Fast food should be consumed judiciously"
Explanation: "Consumed judiciously" is a more formal and precise way to advise moderation in consumption. -
"should not be used too much to ensure health" -> "should not be overconsumed to ensure health"
Explanation: "Should not be overconsumed" is a more precise and formal expression than "should not be used too much." -
"I think both products have their pros and cons" -> "Both products have their advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Advantages and disadvantages" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "pros and cons." -
"I disagree with the statement in question" -> "I disagree with this assertion"
Explanation: "This assertion" is a more formal and precise term than "the statement in question." -
"I will always support them" -> "I will consistently support them"
Explanation: "Consistently" is more formal and precise than "always," which can be seen as overly absolute in academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding traditional foods and international fast food. The introduction sets the stage by acknowledging the debate and indicating that both sides will be discussed. The body paragraphs provide a balanced perspective, discussing the cultural significance of traditional cuisine and the convenience of fast food. However, while the essay touches on both viewpoints, it could benefit from a more explicit comparison or contrast between the two, particularly in the conclusion where the writer states their opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could explicitly state the advantages and disadvantages of each option in a more structured manner. For instance, using a comparative framework in the body paragraphs could help clarify how traditional foods and fast foods stack up against each other in various aspects such as health, convenience, and cultural significance.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer presents a clear position in favor of traditional foods, particularly in the conclusion. However, the stance could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. While the writer acknowledges the benefits of fast food, the transition between discussing the two could be smoother, and the opinion could be stated more assertively in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should reiterate their opinion more frequently throughout the essay. Phrases such as "While I acknowledge the convenience of fast food, I firmly believe…" can help to consistently remind the reader of the writer’s stance. Additionally, a more definitive conclusion that summarizes the main points supporting traditional food would strengthen the overall argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding both traditional and fast food, including cultural identity and health implications. However, some points lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration. For example, while the mention of Vietnamese bread as a cultural symbol is effective, additional examples or statistics regarding health issues related to fast food could provide more substantial support for the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence. This could include citing studies on health impacts of fast food or discussing specific traditional dishes and their significance. Additionally, using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures could enhance the sophistication of the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the prompt’s themes of traditional and fast food. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper, particularly when transitioning between ideas. For instance, the discussion about the convenience of fast food could be more directly linked to the overall argument about its drawbacks.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the central question of the essay. Using topic sentences that directly reference the prompt can help guide the reader and keep the discussion relevant. Additionally, avoiding tangential comments and ensuring that each point contributes to the overall argument will strengthen the essay’s coherence.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-rounded discussion of both viewpoints. With improvements in structure, depth of analysis, and consistency of position, the essay could achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized to discuss traditional cuisine first, followed by international fast food, which allows for a comparative analysis. However, the transition between discussing the advantages of traditional food and the disadvantages of fast food could be smoother. For instance, the shift from the cultural significance of traditional cuisine to the convenience of fast food feels abrupt and could benefit from a clearer linking sentence that emphasizes the contrast between the two.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate a shift in focus, such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely." Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea will help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the discussion. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s opinion, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into the advantages of traditional food and the drawbacks of fast food. However, the conclusion is somewhat weak, as it does not adequately summarize the main points discussed or reinforce the writer’s opinion in a compelling way.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key arguments presented in the body paragraphs and restating the writer’s opinion more emphatically. This could involve revisiting the main points about the cultural significance of traditional food and the health concerns associated with fast food, thereby creating a more cohesive ending that ties back to the introduction.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "but," and "in short," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be made clearer. For example, the phrase "I think both products have their pros and cons" could be better linked to the previous discussion by using a phrase that explicitly indicates a summary or comparison.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "despite this," and "therefore." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a greater command of the language. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain coherence throughout the essay.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "culinary identity," "popularizing," and "convenience." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in the use of "traditional cuisine" and "international fast food." For instance, the phrase "each country, each culture" could be varied with synonyms or alternative expressions to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "traditional cuisine," they could use "heritage dishes," "local gastronomy," or "native food." Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating idiomatic expressions could further enrich the vocabulary.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the more developed the world is the more diverse and rich the cuisine" could be interpreted ambiguously. It suggests a direct correlation that may not be universally accepted. Furthermore, the term "culinary media" is vague and could be more clearly articulated as "culinary promotion" or "food media."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. They can practice by identifying key terms relevant to the topic and ensuring they understand their connotations and appropriate contexts. Additionally, using specific examples to illustrate points can help clarify meaning.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "blood pressure," which should be "blood pressure issues" to convey the intended meaning more clearly. The phrase "food hygiene and safety" is correctly spelled but could benefit from clearer context.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises focused on commonly misspelled words or using spelling apps. Additionally, proofreading the essay for typographical errors and ensuring that all terms are used in their correct forms will help enhance overall spelling proficiency.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in vocabulary usage, there are opportunities for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and maintaining attention to spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Eating traditional dishes is part of preserving our own identity, helping us always remember our roots, creating a unique brand for the country" shows an ability to connect ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures. For example, the phrases "I think" and "traditional cuisine" are repeated multiple times, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "I think," the writer could use alternatives like "It is evident that," or "One could argue that." Additionally, integrating more complex structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, could demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a generally good command of grammar, but there are some inaccuracies that affect clarity. For instance, in the sentence "the more developed the world is the more diverse and rich the cuisine," a comma is needed after "is" to separate the clauses. Additionally, the phrase "should we support traditional cuisine or international fast food?" should be rephrased to avoid the use of a question mark in a statement context. There are also minor issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as "the unique identity of each nation and each country" which could be streamlined for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on careful proofreading to catch punctuation errors and ensure proper sentence structure. Practicing sentence combining and varying sentence types can also help. Furthermore, reviewing rules regarding articles and subject-verb agreement will strengthen overall grammatical precision. For example, rephrasing sentences for clarity and correctness, such as changing "the unique identity of each nation and each country" to "the unique identities of each nation," can enhance readability.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical structures and generally accurate usage, there are opportunities for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.
Bài sửa mẫu
Nowadays, the more developed the world becomes, the more diverse and rich the cuisine. Each country and culture will always possess its own culinary identity, and numerous articles pose the question: should we support traditional cuisine or international fast food? I think both have their respective advantages and disadvantages, and I hope this article will provide answers to these questions.
Traditional cuisine is a distinctive cultural feature, representing the unique identity of each nation. As an identity, it always has its own unique characteristics compared to international fast food. We can consider it a national symbol, and promoting and supporting culinary media will be part of encouraging the development of tourism and awareness of the country. For example, Vietnamese bread is considered by many people around the world as a symbol of Vietnam when mentioned. Consuming traditional dishes is an integral part of preserving our cultural identity, helping us always remember our roots and establishing a distinct national brand.
However, consuming international fast food is not inherently incorrect. Fast food has increasingly gained popularity in recent years because of its convenience, saving time and effort. International fast food is always available and only takes a few minutes to prepare. But I think it is not good for health, as fast food recipes often contain a lot of fat, which can lead to diseases such as obesity and high blood pressure. Numerous fast foods are frozen products that lack adequate food safety and hygiene standards and may cause gastrointestinal disorders. Fast food should be consumed judiciously and should not be overconsumed to ensure health.
I believe both products have their advantages and disadvantages. International fast food saves time and effort but does not guarantee health safety. On the contrary, traditional food not only creates a national brand but also helps us live healthily.
In short, I disagree with this assertion and firmly believe that traditional foods are always welcomed by many people, and I will consistently support them.
