some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things, Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention for i

It is often that many people are drawing attention at what level does advertising effect at persuading people to spend money for that products or services.In fact, there are some who hold firmly to their belief that advertising is waste of time and does not attract any attention from people.However, others argue convincingly that dramatically successful at persuading people to purchase that products. Therefore, some major points in relation to the above issue will be addressed in the following paragraph.
On the one hand, there are two primary points for other people to defend the former argument.First, it is a well-documented fact that people nowadays are more and more learn carefully about what they want buy through social media and feed back of other customers who have purchased it before. So that people prefer to proactively learn about the product rather than watch the advertising.The most obvious example to prove is that the development of internet lead to scams on internet and false advertising makes individuals be more cautious with the advertising.Second, there is no doubt that advertising usually appear when people are watching TV or using social media and appearing in that time makes people feel annoying,they just want to focus on the major content they are following. For instance, when a person are watching television and enjoy his leisure time suddenly an advertising appeared, that person will feel very decomplex and lost interest.
On the other hand, there are two main point for other people to support the later argument.First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that advertising is extremely successful in attract people to purchase the product through collaborating with celebrity.A clear example being found to prove is that,celebrity who have a huge population of fans with huge faith for their idol and they will buy the product which advertised by their idol.Moreover, there is no denying that the advertising has emphasize what their customers want to know is promotion and quality of the product.This is supported by the fact that brands had used some ridiculous sayings or even lyrics song to emphasize how greatful their product are.
In conclusion, it is my strong belief that the advertising is dramatically successful at persuading people to buy things.Arcordingly, I highly recommend that the govenrment should enhance people’s awareness in terms of

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument presented in the prompt. It discusses reasons why some people believe advertising is ineffective and others believe it is successful. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity, and there are instances where the points made are not directly relevant to the prompt.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that all points made directly relate to the prompt. Provide more detailed analysis and examples to support each argument. Additionally, consider restructuring the essay to clearly address each aspect of the prompt in separate paragraphs.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a clear position that advertising is successful at persuading people to buy things. However, the clarity of the position is undermined by the inclusion of arguments from both sides without clear differentiation or rebuttal of opposing viewpoints.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of the position by clearly articulating why the author believes advertising is successful and providing strong evidence to support this stance. Address counterarguments directly and refute them convincingly to reinforce the author’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks coherence and development. Ideas are introduced without sufficient elaboration or supporting evidence, resulting in a disjointed and superficial discussion. Some examples are provided, but they are not effectively integrated into the argument.
- How to improve: Improve the development of ideas by providing more detailed explanations and supporting evidence for each point. Ensure that examples are relevant and effectively illustrate the arguments being made. Use transitions to create a more cohesive flow between ideas.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic but occasionally veers off track, especially in the second paragraph where there is a discussion about internet scams and the annoyance of advertisements. These points are tangential to the main argument about the effectiveness of advertising.
- How to improve: Maintain focus on the central topic of the prompt throughout the essay. Avoid introducing unrelated ideas or examples that do not directly contribute to the argument being made. Stay organized and ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic.

Overall, while the essay attempts to address the prompt and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis, coherence of ideas, and relevance of examples. By providing more detailed explanations, stronger evidence, and maintaining focus on the central topic, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate level of logical organization. It attempts to present contrasting viewpoints regarding the effectiveness of advertising in persuading consumers. However, the organization could be improved for clearer progression of ideas. The introduction briefly outlines the opposing views, but the body paragraphs lack a clear separation between arguments supporting and opposing advertising’s effectiveness. Additionally, the conclusion abruptly states the writer’s opinion without summarizing the main points.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint. Begin with a clear introduction that presents both sides of the argument and a thesis statement outlining the writer’s stance. Each body paragraph should focus on either supporting or opposing arguments, providing evidence and examples to strengthen the position. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain coherence. Finally, the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer’s opinion in a concise manner.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but the structure is inconsistent and ineffective. There is an attempt to separate ideas into paragraphs, but the transitions between them are sometimes abrupt, leading to a disjointed flow of information. Additionally, some paragraphs contain multiple ideas, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or argument related to the topic. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting details or examples. Use transitions between paragraphs to establish coherence and guide the reader through the essay’s progression. Consider revising paragraph structure to maintain clarity and cohesion throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices to connect ideas, but there is limited variety and effectiveness in their usage. Basic cohesive devices such as conjunctions ("however," "moreover") and pronouns are utilized, but their application lacks sophistication and coherence. Additionally, there is a lack of cohesive devices within paragraphs, leading to disjointed transitions between sentences and ideas.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, including transitional phrases, conjunctions, and pronouns, to establish clearer connections between ideas and improve overall coherence. Utilize cohesive devices not only between sentences but also within paragraphs to create smoother transitions and enhance the flow of information. Pay attention to the logical progression of ideas and use cohesive devices strategically to reinforce the essay’s argumentative structure. Additionally,

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with the use of varied expressions and phrases throughout. For instance, phrases like "dramatically successful," "well-documented fact," "proactively learn," and "decomplex" showcase a breadth of vocabulary. Additionally, the essay attempts to employ complex structures to convey ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay displays a wide vocabulary range, there’s a need to ensure the accurate use of idiomatic expressions and collocations. For example, the phrase "dramatically successful" could be refined to better fit the context. Further enriching the vocabulary by incorporating more advanced idiomatic expressions and nuanced vocabulary would enhance the essay’s sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary effectively, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "decomplex" seems awkward and may not convey the intended meaning accurately. Additionally, there are areas where vocabulary could be more specific and tailored to the context.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on selecting words that precisely convey the intended meaning. Instead of relying on uncommon terms like "decomplex," opt for clearer and more widely understood vocabulary. Moreover, pay close attention to the context to ensure that chosen words accurately reflect the intended message.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally satisfactory. However, there are some minor errors present, such as "greatful" instead of "grateful," and "Arcordingly" instead of "Accordingly." These errors do not significantly impede comprehension but indicate a need for closer attention to detail.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, proofreading the text carefully can help catch any overlooked spelling mistakes. Developing a habit of reviewing written work systematically for spelling errors will contribute to improved accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and maintains a generally high level of accuracy, there is room for refinement in terms of precision and spelling consistency. By paying closer attention to word choice and refining spelling skills, the essay can further elevate its lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, which impacts the overall fluency and coherence. The structures used are repetitive, primarily simple and compound sentences, with few complex sentences or variations. This limited use of structures contributes to the overall score. For instance, the essay frequently employs a straightforward subject-verb-object construction without much variation or complexity. Additionally, there is a noticeable lack of subordinate clauses or varied introductory phrases, which could enhance the readability and interest of the text.
- How to improve: To enhance the score in this area, it’s advisable to incorporate a wider range of sentence structures. This can be achieved by experimenting with complex sentences that use subordinate clauses, passive voice where appropriate, and varying sentence openings. Practicing writing sentences that begin with adverbial phrases, relative clauses, and participial phrases can also add variety. Learning and applying these structures will not only improve the grammatical range but also make the writing more engaging and sophisticated.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a number of grammatical and punctuation errors that detract from the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Errors in subject-verb agreement, incorrect verb tense usage, and misplaced or missing punctuation marks are evident. For example, there are instances of run-on sentences and comma splices that disrupt the flow of ideas. Moreover, the misuse of articles ("a", "an", and "the") and prepositions indicates a need for further grammatical refinement. These errors are consistent with a Band 5 score, as they suggest that the writer has a basic control of grammar and punctuation but struggles with accuracy and complexity.
- How to improve: To improve in this area, focused practice on specific grammatical rules and punctuation conventions is essential. Utilizing grammar checking tools can help identify common errors, but understanding the underlying rules is crucial for long-term improvement. Studying and practicing correct verb tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and the proper use of articles will address some of the frequent mistakes. Additionally, learning to correctly use commas, periods, and other punctuation marks to clearly convey ideas will enhance the writing’s overall clarity and coherence. Engaging with exercises that target these areas, receiving feedback from more proficient English users, and revising writing based on this feedback can significantly improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is often debated how effective advertising is in influencing people to purchase products or services. Some argue that advertising is ineffective and fails to capture people’s attention, while others assert that it is highly successful in persuading consumers to buy. Let’s explore both perspectives.

On one hand, some people believe that advertising is losing its impact due to various reasons. Firstly, consumers today are more inclined to research products through social media and customer feedback rather than relying solely on advertising. With the rise of the internet, individuals have become more cautious of scams and false advertising, leading them to seek information independently. Secondly, advertising often interrupts people’s leisure activities, such as watching TV or using social media, causing annoyance and distraction. For example, when someone is enjoying a television program and an advertisement suddenly appears, it can disrupt their experience and diminish interest.

On the other hand, proponents of advertising argue that it remains highly effective, especially when employing celebrity endorsements. Celebrities, with their large fan bases and strong influence, can significantly sway consumer behavior towards advertised products. Additionally, advertising often highlights the features and benefits of products, addressing consumer needs and preferences. Brands sometimes use catchy slogans or jingles to emphasize the quality and desirability of their offerings.

In conclusion, despite some drawbacks, advertising continues to be remarkably successful in persuading people to make purchases. Therefore, it is essential for governments to increase public awareness regarding advertising practices to ensure consumers make informed decisions.