Write about the following topic: The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Write about the following topic:

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.
Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

The concept of reducing the working week while extending the weekend has gained significant attention in recent years. Proponents assert that this change would lead to a better work-life balance, increased productivity, and enhanced mental well-being. I wholeheartedly support this idea, as there are numerous compelling reasons to believe that a shorter working week could be advantageous for both employees and employers.

To begin with, the modern workplace has undergone remarkable transformations, particularly due to advancements in technology, which have made it possible to complete tasks more efficiently. Despite these changes, the conventional five-day workweek remains largely intact. By reducing working hours, it is possible to paradoxically boost productivity. Research indicates that employees who work fewer hours tend to maintain higher levels of focus and motivation, as they are less susceptible to burnout. For example, companies that have trialed a four-day workweek have reported sustained productivity levels, alongside increased employee satisfaction and retention rates.

In addition, a longer weekend would grant individuals more time to engage in personal interests, spend quality time with family, and partake in leisure activities—elements that are crucial for maintaining mental health. In our fast-paced society, stress and anxiety are widespread, often heightened by the demands of a rigorous work schedule. By extending the weekend, workers would have the opportunity to recharge, enabling them to return to work with renewed energy and a more positive mindset, ultimately benefiting both their personal lives and professional performance.

On the other hand, some critics may argue that a shorter working week could impose challenges on businesses, especially in sectors where continuous operations are essential. However, these challenges can be addressed through flexible working arrangements, such as staggered shifts or remote work options, which have demonstrated effectiveness in various industries.

In conclusion, the proposition of a shorter working week paired with a longer weekend is both practical and beneficial. The advantages, including enhanced productivity, improved mental health, and a more balanced work-life dynamic, significantly outweigh any potential drawbacks. As we navigate the evolving landscape of the modern workplace, it is crucial to reassess the traditional working week to better align it with contemporary needs and expectations.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"wholeheartedly support" -> "strongly support"
Explanation: "Wholeheartedly" may convey a personal emotional tone that is less suitable for academic writing. "Strongly support" maintains a formal tone while conveying the same level of conviction.
"numerous compelling reasons" -> "several compelling reasons"
Explanation: "Numerous" can sometimes sound overly emphatic or vague in academic writing. "Several" is more precise and appropriate for formal essays, indicating a specific number without being overly dramatic.
"paradoxically boost" -> "surprisingly increase"
Explanation: "Paradoxically" implies a contradictory situation, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Surprisingly" better captures the unexpected nature of the outcome without the connotation of contradiction.
"Research indicates" -> "Studies suggest"
Explanation: "Research" can be vague and broad; "Studies" specifies the type of research, enhancing the academic tone and precision.
"companies that have trialed" -> "companies that have implemented"
Explanation: "Trialed" is less formal and slightly ambiguous; "implemented" is more precise and commonly used in academic contexts to describe the adoption of new practices or policies.
"partake in leisure activities" -> "engage in leisure activities"
Explanation: "Partake" is less commonly used in modern English and can sound slightly archaic or formal. "Engage in" is more natural and widely accepted in contemporary academic writing.
"In our fast-paced society" -> "In today’s fast-paced society"
Explanation: Adding "today’s" clarifies the temporal reference, making the statement more specific and relevant to the reader.
"stress and anxiety are widespread" -> "stress and anxiety are prevalent"
Explanation: "Widespread" can imply a broader geographical scope, whereas "prevalent" specifically indicates a common occurrence, which is more suitable for discussing societal issues.
"recharge" -> "replenish"
Explanation: "Recharge" is informal and slightly colloquial; "replenish" is more formal and suitable for academic writing, implying a restoration of energy or resources.
"impose challenges" -> "present challenges"
Explanation: "Impose" can imply a forced or negative impact, whereas "present" is neutral and more appropriate for discussing potential difficulties in a formal context.
"staggered shifts" -> "rotating shifts"
Explanation: "Staggered shifts" is less common and slightly ambiguous; "rotating shifts" is a more precise and widely recognized term in the context of work scheduling.
"demonstrated effectiveness" -> "demonstrated efficacy"
Explanation: "Effectiveness" can be somewhat vague; "efficacy" is a more precise term that specifically refers to the capability of a method or system to achieve a desired effect, which is more suitable for academic discourse.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position in favor of a shorter working week and longer weekends. It discusses the benefits of this change, such as improved work-life balance, increased productivity, and enhanced mental well-being. The introduction sets the stage well, and the body paragraphs provide relevant examples and reasoning to support the argument. However, it could be argued that the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the counterarguments presented by critics, as this would provide a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay could include a more detailed examination of the opposing viewpoint. This could involve acknowledging specific concerns raised by critics and providing a more thorough rebuttal to these points. Including examples of successful implementations in various industries could also strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the idea of a shorter working week. The use of phrases like "I wholeheartedly support this idea" establishes a strong stance from the outset. The conclusion reiterates this position effectively, summarizing the key points made. However, while the position is clear, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced discussion of potential drawbacks to enhance the depth of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer could incorporate transitional phrases that reinforce their stance while addressing counterarguments. This could help in demonstrating an understanding of the complexities of the issue, thereby strengthening the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, with clear examples such as the mention of companies that have trialed a four-day workweek. The argument is logically structured, with each paragraph building on the previous one. However, while the examples provided are relevant, they could be further extended with additional data or case studies to enhance credibility and depth.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer could include more specific statistics or studies that highlight the benefits of a shorter working week. Additionally, incorporating personal anecdotes or experiences could make the argument more relatable and compelling.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout, focusing on the benefits of a shorter working week and longer weekends. Each paragraph contributes to the central argument without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is coherent, and the ideas presented are relevant to the prompt. However, there is a slight risk of straying into generalizations about workplace stress without directly linking them back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that all examples and discussions are directly tied back to the main argument. This could involve explicitly linking the benefits of a longer weekend to the specific context of a shorter working week, thereby reinforcing the connection between the two ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the writer’s position, but there are opportunities for deeper engagement with counterarguments and more substantial support for the claims made.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph flows logically from one idea to the next, with the first body paragraph discussing the productivity benefits of a shorter workweek, followed by a focus on mental health and personal time in the second body paragraph. The counterargument is effectively addressed in the third body paragraph, demonstrating a well-rounded discussion. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s position.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, the writer could consider using more explicit transitional phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through the argument. For instance, phrases like "Furthermore," or "Conversely," could be employed to signal shifts in focus or to introduce counterarguments more clearly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-paragraphed, with each paragraph serving a distinct purpose. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs develop the argument, and the conclusion wraps up the discussion effectively. Each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that indicates the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is effective, the writer could enhance the clarity of each paragraph by ensuring that all sentences within the paragraph are tightly focused on the main idea. For example, in the second body paragraph, the writer could further elaborate on how leisure activities specifically contribute to mental health, perhaps by including a brief example or statistic to strengthen the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "for example," "in addition," and "however," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. These devices effectively guide the reader through the essay and clarify relationships between points.
- How to improve: To achieve a higher level of cohesion, the writer could incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices. For instance, using synonyms or referencing back to key terms can enhance cohesion. Instead of repeating "working week," the writer could use "work schedule" or "employment hours" in subsequent mentions. Additionally, employing more complex cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also" constructions, could further enrich the text and demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, with clear arguments and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer could elevate their score even further in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "proponents," "advancements," "paradoxically," and "rigorous." These words not only showcase the writer’s lexical resource but also enhance the clarity and sophistication of the argument. For instance, the use of "paradoxically" in the context of boosting productivity through reduced hours is a strong choice that conveys a nuanced understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To elevate the essay further, the writer could incorporate even more varied vocabulary related to the topic. For example, instead of repeating "working week," alternatives like "work schedule" or "employment hours" could be used. Additionally, integrating synonyms for "beneficial" such as "advantageous" or "favorable" could diversify the language and prevent redundancy.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits precise vocabulary usage, particularly in phrases like "enhanced mental well-being" and "maintain higher levels of focus." These phrases accurately convey the intended meaning and contribute to the overall effectiveness of the argument. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the term "remarkable transformations" could be interpreted as somewhat vague without further context.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to provide more specific descriptors. Instead of "remarkable transformations," a phrase like "significant shifts in workplace dynamics" would provide clearer context. Additionally, ensuring that the vocabulary aligns closely with the argument being made will enhance clarity. For instance, using "employee well-being" instead of "mental health" could more accurately reflect the focus on workplace implications.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "productivity," "satisfaction," and "flexible" are spelled correctly throughout, reflecting the writer’s attention to detail and command of the language.
- How to improve: While the spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to practice proofreading their work to maintain this standard. Engaging in spelling exercises or using tools like spell check can help reinforce this skill. Additionally, expanding vocabulary through reading can naturally improve spelling as the writer becomes more familiar with word forms and structures.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further improve their performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "Despite these changes, the conventional five-day workweek remains largely intact" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, like "By reducing working hours, it is possible to paradoxically boost productivity," showcases a good command of grammatical forms. The essay also incorporates a mix of simple and compound sentences, which contributes to a fluid reading experience.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, using participial phrases (e.g., "Having considered the benefits of a shorter workweek, it is evident that…") or inversions (e.g., "Rarely have we seen such a significant shift in workplace dynamics") can add sophistication. Additionally, integrating more relative clauses could enrich the complexity of your sentences.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the demands of a rigorous work schedule" is correctly structured, and punctuation is appropriately used throughout the essay. Commas are effectively placed to separate clauses, such as in "which have made it possible to complete tasks more efficiently." However, there are a few instances where punctuation could be refined, such as in the sentence "Research indicates that employees who work fewer hours tend to maintain higher levels of focus and motivation, as they are less susceptible to burnout," where the comma before "as" could be omitted for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. Reviewing rules about restrictive and non-restrictive clauses could be beneficial. Additionally, consider proofreading for any minor grammatical inconsistencies, such as subject-verb agreement or article usage, to ensure precision. Engaging in exercises focused on common grammatical pitfalls can also help solidify your understanding and application of these rules.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the argument with a high level of grammatical range and accuracy. With minor adjustments and a focus on diversifying sentence structures, the essay could achieve an even higher level of sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

The concept of reducing the working week while extending the weekend has gained significant attention in recent years. Proponents assert that this change would lead to a better work-life balance, increased productivity, and enhanced mental well-being. I wholeheartedly support this idea, as there are several compelling reasons to believe that a shorter working week could be advantageous for both employees and employers.

In addition, a longer weekend would grant individuals more time to engage in personal interests, spend quality time with family, and partake in leisure activities—elements that are crucial for maintaining mental health. In today’s fast-paced society, stress and anxiety are prevalent, often heightened by the demands of a rigorous work schedule. By extending the weekend, workers would have the opportunity to recharge, enabling them to return to work with renewed energy and a more positive mindset, ultimately benefiting both their personal lives and professional performance.

On the other hand, some critics may argue that a shorter working week could present challenges for businesses, especially in sectors where continuous operations are essential. However, these challenges can be addressed through flexible working arrangements, such as staggered shifts or remote work options, which have demonstrated efficacy in various industries.