Nowadays anyone can post news on the internet. As a result, we cannot trust information we read there. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays anyone can post news on the internet. As a result, we cannot trust information we read there. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, anyone can post news on the internet. As a result, we cannot just trust the information we read there.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the social media, all of individuals have opportunities to up load news. Therefore, we have to think carefully about the information instead of believing them. In my opinion, I agree that we cannot trust information posted by anyone because of the verification and the bias.
A good reason to distrust the social media news is that they lack verification of information. All walks of life have the free people posting status on the internet. So that no one can band diversity their posts. That means different kinds of information can be post include the negative and inaccurate factors which can change the viewer positive mind. For example, a person upload fake news about governments and make numerous people believe them leading to statements credibility decrease.
Moreover, self-published articles are full of personal bias. Because by their perspective,
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal marker than "Nowadays," which is somewhat colloquial and less specific in academic writing. -
"anyone can post news on the internet" -> "individuals can publish information on the internet"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "anyone," and "publish information" is a more precise term than "post news," which is somewhat informal and vague. -
"we cannot just trust the information" -> "we should not simply accept the information"
Explanation: "Should not simply accept" is more formal and precise than "cannot just trust," which is somewhat colloquial and imprecise. -
"In the social media" -> "on social media"
Explanation: "On social media" is the correct prepositional phrase for referring to the medium, whereas "In the social media" is incorrect. -
"all of individuals have opportunities to up load news" -> "all individuals have the opportunity to upload news"
Explanation: "All individuals" should not be preceded by "of," and "upload" should be spelled correctly as "upload." Additionally, "have the opportunity" is more formal than "have opportunities." -
"we have to think carefully about the information instead of believing them" -> "we must carefully evaluate the information rather than accepting it at face value"
Explanation: "Must evaluate" and "accepting it at face value" are more precise and formal expressions than "have to think carefully" and "believing them." -
"In my opinion, I agree" -> "I concur"
Explanation: "I concur" is a more concise and formal way to express agreement in academic writing, avoiding the redundancy of "In my opinion, I agree." -
"because of the verification and the bias" -> "due to the lack of verification and potential bias"
Explanation: "Due to the lack of verification and potential bias" clarifies the reason more accurately and formally, specifying the nature of the issues. -
"All walks of life have the free people posting status" -> "Individuals from all walks of life can freely post status"
Explanation: "Individuals from all walks of life can freely post status" corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies that individuals have the freedom to post. -
"no one can band diversity their posts" -> "no one can band together their posts"
Explanation: "Band together" is the correct idiom, and "their" should be used instead of "diversity," which is incorrectly used here. -
"That means different kinds of information can be post include the negative and inaccurate factors" -> "This implies that various types of information, including negative and inaccurate factors, can be posted"
Explanation: "This implies" is more formal than "That means," and "including" is correctly used to specify the types of information. -
"a person upload fake news" -> "an individual uploads fake news"
Explanation: "An individual" is more formal than "a person," and "uploads" should be "upload" for correct verb agreement. -
"make numerous people believe them leading to statements credibility decrease" -> "lead many people to believe them, thereby reducing credibility"
Explanation: "Lead many people to believe them, thereby reducing credibility" is grammatically correct and more formal, avoiding the awkward construction of the original phrase. -
"Because by their perspective" -> "Because of their perspective"
Explanation: "Because of their perspective" is grammatically correct and more formal than "Because by their perspective," which is incorrect.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating that the author agrees with the idea that we cannot trust information on the internet. However, it does not fully explore the extent of this agreement. The essay mentions reasons for distrust but lacks a comprehensive discussion on whether there are any circumstances under which online information might be trustworthy. This leads to an incomplete response to the prompt, which asks for an evaluation of the extent of agreement or disagreement.
- How to improve: To improve, the author should explicitly state their position on the extent of their agreement or disagreement in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, they should explore both sides of the argument, discussing scenarios where online information might be reliable, to provide a more balanced view.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that leans towards distrust of online information. However, the clarity of this position is undermined by vague language and incomplete sentences. For instance, the phrase "we have to think carefully about the information instead of believing them" lacks specificity and can confuse the reader about the author’s stance.
- How to improve: The author should work on articulating their position more clearly throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using definitive language and ensuring that each paragraph reinforces the main argument. Additionally, including transitional phrases can help maintain a clear thread of reasoning.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the lack of verification and bias in online news. However, these ideas are not fully developed. For example, the point about fake news lacks depth and supporting evidence. The essay also fails to provide sufficient examples or elaboration on the implications of these issues.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the author should aim to provide specific examples and elaborate on their points. For instance, they could discuss a particular incident of misinformation and its consequences. Additionally, using statistics or studies related to online misinformation could strengthen the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the distrust of online information. However, there are moments where the language becomes convoluted, leading to a lack of clarity. For instance, the phrase "no one can band diversity their posts" is confusing and detracts from the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the argument. Simplifying language and avoiding overly complex phrases can help keep the writing clear and relevant. Additionally, a structured outline before writing could help in organizing thoughts coherently.
In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the author should focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt, clearly articulating their position, developing and supporting their ideas with concrete examples, and maintaining clarity and relevance throughout the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a basic structure but lacks a clear logical progression of ideas. For instance, the introduction states the problem and the writer’s stance, but the subsequent paragraphs do not effectively build on this foundation. The transition from discussing verification issues to bias is abrupt and lacks a clear connection. The argument about verification is somewhat muddled, making it difficult for the reader to follow the line of reasoning.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should outline the main points before writing the essay. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis statement. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the other hand") can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but they are not well-defined or structured. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s opinion, while the second paragraph begins discussing verification issues. However, the second paragraph lacks a clear focus and mixes ideas without proper separation. The third paragraph is incomplete and does not form a coherent point.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or argument. The writer should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. For example, the paragraph discussing verification could be expanded to include specific examples of how misinformation spreads and its consequences. The writer should also ensure that each paragraph has a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, but they are limited and often incorrectly applied. Phrases like "therefore" and "because" are present, but their usage does not always enhance clarity. For instance, the phrase "So that no one can band diversity their posts" is unclear and does not effectively connect ideas. The lack of varied cohesive devices results in a repetitive and disjointed reading experience.
- How to improve: To improve cohesion, the writer should incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions (e.g., "although," "however"), referencing words (e.g., "this," "these"), and transitional phrases (e.g., "for instance," "as a result"). Practicing linking ideas within and between sentences will create a smoother reading experience. Additionally, reviewing the correct usage of these devices in context can help the writer apply them more effectively.
By addressing these areas, the writer can significantly improve the coherence and cohesion of their essay, potentially raising their band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it is somewhat limited in variety. Phrases like "post news," "trust information," and "social media" are repeated without much variation. While the writer attempts to use different terms, such as "self-published articles" and "fake news," these do not significantly enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "post," they could use "publish," "share," or "disseminate." Additionally, using phrases like "digital platforms" or "online news sources" would add depth to the vocabulary.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "band diversity their posts" is unclear and likely intended to convey that there is no restriction on the diversity of posts. The term "upload fake news about governments" could be more accurately expressed as "disseminate misinformation regarding government actions."
- How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in word choice. Instead of "band diversity," they could say "restrict the diversity." Encouraging the use of specific terms related to the topic, such as "misleading information" or "unverified claims," would also enhance clarity.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "up load" (should be "upload"), "individuals" (incorrectly referred to as "all of individuals"), and "credibility decrease" (which is awkwardly phrased). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and reviewing the essay for typographical errors before submission can significantly improve spelling accuracy.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to use a variety of vocabulary, there are notable areas for improvement in lexical range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their overall score in the Lexical Resource criteria.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complexity. For instance, phrases like "we have to think carefully about the information instead of believing them" and "A good reason to distrust the social media news is that they lack verification of information" are straightforward but do not showcase varied structures. The use of subordinate clauses is minimal, which restricts the depth of argumentation.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "we cannot trust information posted by anyone," you could say, "Although anyone can post information online, it is crucial to verify its authenticity before accepting it as true." This not only adds complexity but also improves the flow of ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "In the social media" should be "On social media," and "we cannot just trust the information we read there" could be more effectively phrased as "we cannot fully trust the information we encounter online." Additionally, phrases like "So that no one can band diversity their posts" are unclear and grammatically incorrect. The use of commas is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences, which can lead to confusion.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, ensure that commas are used to separate clauses appropriately. Reading more complex texts can also provide a model for correct punctuation usage. Lastly, proofreading your work can help catch these errors before submission.
Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.
Bài sửa mẫu
Nowadays, anyone can post news on the internet. As a result, we cannot just trust the information we read there.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
On social media, all individuals have the opportunity to upload news. Therefore, we must carefully evaluate the information rather than accepting it at face value. In my opinion, I concur that we cannot trust information posted by anyone due to the lack of verification and potential bias.
A good reason to distrust social media news is that it often lacks verification of information. Individuals from all walks of life can freely post status updates on the internet. This implies that various types of information can be posted, including negative and inaccurate factors that can change the viewer’s positive mindset. For example, an individual may upload fake news about governments, leading many people to believe them, thereby reducing credibility.
Moreover, self-published articles are full of personal bias. Because of their perspective, it is essential to approach such information with caution.