Although there is a lot of translation software available, learning a language could still be advantageous. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Although there is a lot of translation software available, learning a language could still be advantageous.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Thanks to the fast pace of developing technology, these days, more and more beneficial applications to translate foreign languages directly into mother tongues or other languages. As a result, some people depend on too much using these softwares and feel it is unnecessary to learn a language. However, I fully believed learning other languages is still advantageous now.

The first rational of my belief is people will give birth to psychological dependence in using support software. It’s too bad to the development of both humans and our country. It’s undeniable that translation applications allow people to understand various languages more easily, most contemporary software is able to generate high-quality translations due to high and complex technology. So people just install them into their phone and they can easily talk with local people whenever traveling. However, all things have two aspects, these apps might become a wonderful reason for person who lacks of knowledge and lazy to learn a new language. They just need a smart phone with wifi or 4G and they don’t need to learn a language. This thinking will constance the thrivent of education and society.

The second reason of my agreement is learning language helps enhance our sense of language. Whenever we get access to something new, we will be immersed in its beauty. Learning a language is the same, by learning a new language people can broaden their horizon and accumulate in-depth knowledge. From this, not only do they become professional person, but they also become more confident in communicating with foreign friends. For example, a student who is bilingual is willing to share their experiences and thinking in comparison with a student who just use support use. If they don’t have enough vocabulary and grammar, they will find difficulties in facing some emergency situations without translating software.

translation applications bring numerous advantages, it is a versatile tool that allows people to understand various languages more easily. However, as I presented above, I believe people should learn new languages in order to explore all the beauty of language, improve their sense of language and thrive themselves and their country

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "Thanks to the fast pace of developing technology, these days, more and more beneficial applications to translate foreign languages directly into mother tongues or other languages." -> "Owing to the rapid advancement of technology in recent times, an increasing number of advantageous applications facilitate the direct translation of foreign languages into one’s mother tongue or other languages."
   Explanation: The revised sentence maintains a formal tone by replacing colloquial expressions like "these days" with more formal alternatives. Additionally, the use of "owing to" enhances the academic style.

2. "However, I fully believed learning other languages is still advantageous now." -> "Nevertheless, I firmly believe that acquiring proficiency in other languages remains advantageous in the present era."
   Explanation: The change introduces a stronger assertion with "firmly believe," and the phrase "acquiring proficiency in other languages" is more formal and precise than "learning other languages."

3. "The first rational of my belief is people will give birth to psychological dependence in using support software." -> "The primary rationale for my belief is that individuals may develop a psychological dependence on using supportive software."
   Explanation: "Rational" should be replaced with "rationale," which is the correct term for the underlying reason. Additionally, the phrase "give birth to" is substituted with "develop," contributing to a more formal and accurate expression.

4. "It’s too bad to the development of both humans and our country." -> "This is detrimental to the development of both individuals and our country."
   Explanation: The phrase "It’s too bad to the development" is replaced with a more formal and direct expression, "This is detrimental to," conveying the negative impact more precisely.

5. "constance the thrivent of education and society." -> "undermine the vitality of education and society."
   Explanation: "constance" is corrected to "undermine," providing a more suitable term that aligns with the negative impact on education and society.

6. "Whenever we get access to something new, we will be immersed in its beauty." -> "When exposed to something novel, we become immersed in its beauty."
   Explanation: The phrase is modified to a more formal and concise structure, eliminating unnecessary words like "whenever" and improving the overall flow.

7. "For example, a student who is bilingual is willing to share their experiences and thinking in comparison with a student who just use support use." -> "For instance, a bilingual student is more inclined to share their experiences and thoughts compared to a student who solely relies on translation support."
   Explanation: The change introduces correct subject-verb agreement ("is" instead of "are") and replaces informal expressions with more formal alternatives, enhancing the overall academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt by expressing a clear opinion on the importance of learning a language despite the availability of translation software. The writer supports their stance with reasons and examples from their knowledge and experience.
  • How to improve: To enhance task response, provide a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument, acknowledging its validity before presenting a strong refutation. This will demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the issue.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a consistent position throughout the essay, asserting the importance of learning a language despite the availability of translation software. However, some sentences could be refined for greater clarity.
  • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph directly supports the writer’s position. Avoid vague statements like "It’s too bad to the development of both humans and our country" and provide specific examples or evidence to bolster the argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas, but they are not consistently developed or supported. For instance, the second paragraph discusses psychological dependence but lacks specific examples or elaboration.
  • How to improve: Include concrete examples and detailed explanations to support each point. Develop the argument further, perhaps by providing real-world instances of individuals who faced challenges due to overreliance on translation software.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but could benefit from more focused development of each point. Some ideas, such as the psychological dependence on software, are introduced but not thoroughly explored.
  • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph contributes directly to the main argument. Trim any extraneous details and expand on key points, maintaining a tight connection to the central theme of the essay.

Overall Comments:
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt and presents a coherent argument in favor of learning a language. However, to improve the score, focus on developing and supporting ideas more thoroughly, providing specific examples and avoiding vague statements. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph contributes directly to the overall argument, maintaining a strong connection to the central theme.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, there are moments of inconsistency in the progression of ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing the psychological dependence on translation apps to the benefits of language learning could be smoother. The use of examples is adequate, but their placement could be refined for a more seamless flow.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider maintaining a consistent flow of ideas throughout the essay. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Pay attention to the order in which examples are presented, aligning them more closely with the essay’s overall argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to separate distinct ideas; however, the structure of some paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the second paragraph contains a mix of ideas related to psychological dependence and the advantages of translation apps. Creating a more distinct separation of these ideas into separate paragraphs would improve overall paragraphing.
  • How to improve: Aim for more coherent and focused paragraphs by addressing a single main idea in each. This will contribute to a clearer and more organized presentation of arguments. Use topic sentences to guide the reader through the content of each paragraph.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay incorporates some cohesive devices, such as transition words (e.g., "however," "for example"). However, there is room for improvement in the variety and strategic placement of these devices to enhance overall coherence. Additionally, more attention to pronoun reference and consistency in terminology would contribute to better cohesion.
  • How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a broader range of linking words and phrases. Ensure that pronouns clearly refer to specific antecedents, and maintain consistency in the use of terminology throughout the essay. This will strengthen the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, refining the logical organization, paragraph structure, and cohesive devices will contribute to a more polished and effective piece of writing. Paying attention to these aspects will help elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use a variety of words, but it lacks consistency and depth. Some terms are repeated, and the expressions could be more diverse. For instance, the repetition of phrases like "translation applications" could be replaced with alternatives for a richer lexical range.
  • How to improve: To enhance the lexical range, the writer should explore synonyms and employ more varied expressions. Instead of relying on a limited set of terms, delve into different ways of expressing ideas. For instance, consider using synonyms for common phrases and experiment with idiomatic expressions.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage is somewhat inconsistent. There are instances where words are used accurately, such as "psychological dependence" and "thrive," but there are also imprecise choices, like "constance the thrivent of education." The latter phrase lacks clarity and could be substituted with a more precise expression.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, carefully select words that precisely convey the intended meaning. Review and revise sentences that seem unclear or vague. Consider using specific terms rather than general ones, and pay attention to the context in which words are employed to ensure accuracy.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is an area that requires improvement. There are several instances of misspelled words, such as "rational" instead of "rationale," "constance" instead of "constrain," and "thrivent" instead of "thrive in." These errors detract from the overall quality of the essay.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling, it is essential to proofread the essay thoroughly. Utilize spell-check tools and take the time to carefully review each word. Additionally, consider creating a list of commonly misspelled words to be more mindful of potential errors in future writing.

In conclusion, while the essay exhibits some strengths in lexical resource, there is room for improvement. A more consistent and varied vocabulary, precise word choices, and enhanced spelling accuracy would contribute to a more polished and effective piece of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple and lack complexity. There is a lack of variety in sentence lengths and structures, which hampers the overall fluency and sophistication of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and overall effectiveness, consider incorporating a mix of sentence structures. Introduce compound and complex sentences to add complexity and variety. For instance, use relative clauses, complex sentence structures, and varying sentence lengths to create a more engaging and sophisticated piece.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a number of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies that affect overall clarity. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("Thanks to the fast pace of developing technology" should be "Thanks to the fast pace of technology development"), word choice ("It’s too bad to the development" should be "It’s detrimental to the development"), and article usage ("a smart phone" should be "a smartphone").
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, careful proofreading is essential. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and appropriate article usage. Additionally, review word choices to ensure clarity and precision. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-check tools to identify and rectify specific grammatical errors.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear stance on the topic, it would benefit significantly from diversifying sentence structures and addressing grammatical errors. These improvements will contribute to a more nuanced, sophisticated, and accurate expression of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the swift progress of technology, a growing number of helpful applications now enable the direct translation of foreign languages into one’s native language or other languages. Despite the availability of these advantageous tools, I firmly believe that acquiring proficiency in other languages continues to be beneficial in the present era.

The primary reason for my conviction is the potential development of a psychological dependence on translation software. This could have negative consequences for both individuals and our nation. While translation applications make it easier for people to understand various languages, their overreliance may lead to a detrimental mindset among those who lack the motivation to learn a new language. This, in turn, could undermine the vitality of education and society.

Furthermore, exposure to something novel enhances our appreciation of its beauty. For instance, a bilingual student is more likely to share experiences and thoughts compared to a student who solely relies on translation support. Learning a language not only broadens horizons but also deepens knowledge. Those who invest time in language learning not only become more proficient but also gain confidence in communicating with foreign friends. In contrast, individuals heavily dependent on translation software may face difficulties in emergency situations without sufficient vocabulary and grammar knowledge.

While translation applications offer numerous advantages, they should complement, not replace, the process of language learning. To explore the full beauty of language, improve language proficiency, and contribute to personal and national growth, individuals should continue to engage in the enriching experience of learning new languages.