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• Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in many societies today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

• Ambition is a positive quality for people to have
in many societies today. How important is it for
people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive
or negative characteristic?

Ambition is widely recognized as a valuable attribute in contemporary society. Individuals who possess ambition often achieve remarkable success, driven by a strong motivation to transcend their comfort zones. A notable example is Oprah Winfrey, who, despite facing numerous challenges in her early life, leveraged her ambition to build a career in media, ultimately becoming one of the most influential figures globally.

Moreover, ambitious individuals are typically more inclined to invest significant effort toward their objectives. Elon Musk exemplifies this dedication, as he has relentlessly pursued personal success while making substantial contributions to advancements in space exploration and electric vehicles.

However, it is essential to balance ambition with other facets of life to attain genuine happiness. Individuals who relentlessly pursue their ambitions without regard for their well-being or relationships may encounter burnout or social isolation.

Consequently, finding a harmonious balance that fosters personal growth is imperative. In conclusion, while ambition can serve as a powerful catalyst for success, it is vital to approach it with a balanced perspective.


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  1. "Ambition is widely recognized as a valuable attribute" -> "Ambition is widely regarded as a valuable attribute"
    Explanation: Replacing "recognized" with "regarded" enhances the formality and precision of the statement, aligning better with academic language.

  2. "Individuals who possess ambition" -> "Individuals characterized by ambition"
    Explanation: "Characterized by" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the inherent nature of the trait rather than simply stating possession.

  3. "driven by a strong motivation to transcend their comfort zones" -> "motivated by a strong desire to exceed their comfort zones"
    Explanation: "Desire" is more specific and formal than "motivation," and "exceed" is more precise than "transcend" in this context, which refers to going beyond a boundary.

  4. "A notable example is Oprah Winfrey" -> "A notable example is that of Oprah Winfrey"
    Explanation: Adding "that of" clarifies that the example being discussed is Oprah Winfrey herself, enhancing the formality and specificity.

  5. "who, despite facing numerous challenges" -> "who, despite encountering numerous challenges"
    Explanation: "Encountering" is a more formal synonym for "facing," which is more commonly used in academic writing.

  6. "leverage her ambition" -> "capitalize on her ambition"
    Explanation: "Capitalize on" is a more precise and formal expression than "leverage," which can be somewhat colloquial in this context.

  7. "ultimately becoming one of the most influential figures globally" -> "ultimately emerging as one of the most influential figures globally"
    Explanation: "Emerging" is a more formal and precise verb than "becoming," which is somewhat vague and less formal.

  8. "ambitious individuals are typically more inclined to invest significant effort" -> "ambitious individuals are often more disposed to invest considerable effort"
    Explanation: "Disposed to" is a more formal expression than "inclined to," and "considerable" is more precise than "significant" in this context.

  9. "relentlessly pursued" -> "pursued relentlessly"
    Explanation: Rearranging the adverb and adjective improves the grammatical structure and flow of the sentence.

  10. "making substantial contributions to advancements" -> "making significant contributions to advancements"
    Explanation: "Significant" is more commonly used in academic contexts than "substantial" when referring to the magnitude of contributions.

  11. "Individuals who relentlessly pursue their ambitions" -> "Individuals who pursue their ambitions relentlessly"
    Explanation: Rearranging the adverb and adjective again improves the grammatical structure and flow of the sentence.

  12. "without regard for their well-being or relationships" -> "without consideration for their well-being or relationships"
    Explanation: "Without consideration" is a more formal and precise phrase than "without regard," which is somewhat informal and vague.

  13. "finding a harmonious balance" -> "achieving a harmonious balance"
    Explanation: "Achieving" is more specific and formal than "finding," which is somewhat vague and less formal.

  14. "fosters personal growth" -> "promotes personal growth"
    Explanation: "Promotes" is a more formal and precise verb than "fosters" in this context, aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the importance of ambition for success and touches on whether it is a positive or negative characteristic. However, it lacks depth in fully exploring both aspects of the prompt. The discussion on the importance of ambition is present but is not sufficiently developed to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of its significance in achieving success. The essay briefly mentions the potential negative consequences of unchecked ambition but does not elaborate on this point or provide a clear argument regarding whether ambition is predominantly positive or negative.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the prompt is thoroughly addressed. This could involve providing more examples and explanations for both the positive and negative aspects of ambition. For instance, discussing how ambition can lead to success in various fields, while also providing specific examples of individuals who may have suffered due to excessive ambition, would create a more balanced view.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position that ambition is generally positive, as evidenced by the examples of Oprah Winfrey and Elon Musk. However, the conclusion introduces the idea of balance without clearly stating whether ambition itself is a positive or negative trait. This inconsistency may confuse readers regarding the author’s stance.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint early in the essay and reinforce it throughout. A clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the argument would help guide the reader. Additionally, the conclusion should reiterate this position more definitively, summarizing the key points made in support of that stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas and examples, such as the cases of Oprah Winfrey and Elon Musk, which serve to illustrate the positive aspects of ambition. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with detailed analysis. The discussion on the potential downsides of ambition is too brief and lacks concrete examples or evidence.
    • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. For example, after mentioning Winfrey and Musk, the essay could explore how their ambition specifically led to their successes and what challenges they faced. Additionally, including counterarguments or examples of individuals who faced negative consequences due to ambition would provide a more nuanced discussion.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on ambition and its implications for success. However, the mention of "finding a harmonious balance" could be seen as a deviation from the primary focus of the essay, which is to evaluate ambition itself rather than the balance between ambition and other life aspects.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the core question of ambition’s role in success. If discussing balance, it should be framed within the context of how it affects ambition’s effectiveness in achieving success. Keeping the discussion tightly linked to the prompt will help maintain clarity and relevance.

In summary, to improve the overall band score, the writer should aim to fully address all parts of the prompt, maintain a clear and consistent position, provide more detailed support for ideas, and ensure that the essay remains focused on the topic of ambition throughout. Additionally, addressing the word count issue is crucial, as being under the required word count can significantly impact the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. It begins with a definition of ambition and its positive attributes, followed by examples of successful individuals like Oprah Winfrey and Elon Musk, which effectively illustrate the points made. The transition to discussing the potential downsides of unchecked ambition is smooth and maintains the reader’s engagement. However, the conclusion could be more explicitly linked back to the initial premise to reinforce the overall argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider explicitly stating how each example relates to the main argument. Additionally, a more robust conclusion that revisits the key points discussed could help solidify the essay’s structure. For instance, reiterating how ambition can lead to both success and potential pitfalls would create a more cohesive ending.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of ambition. The first paragraph introduces the concept, the second provides examples of successful individuals, and the third discusses the need for balance. This clear separation aids in readability and comprehension. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be more fluid, as the shift from examples to the discussion of balance feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph transitions, consider using linking phrases that connect the ideas more smoothly. For example, at the end of the second paragraph, a sentence like "Despite these successes, it is crucial to recognize the potential downsides of ambition" could serve as a bridge to the next paragraph, enhancing the overall flow.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "moreover," "however," and "consequently," which effectively guide the reader through the argument. These devices help clarify relationships between ideas and enhance the overall coherence of the text. The use of specific examples also serves as a cohesive element, linking the abstract concept of ambition to real-world figures. However, the essay could benefit from a wider range of cohesive devices to further enrich the text.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied phrases and connectors, such as "in addition," "on the other hand," or "for instance," to introduce examples. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help maintain cohesion without repetitive phrasing. For example, instead of repeating "ambition," using "this trait" or "such a quality" could enhance the fluidity of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By addressing the suggested improvements, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and cohesiveness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of ambition. Terms such as "valuable attribute," "remarkable success," "transcend," and "catalyst" showcase a strong command of language. The use of specific examples, like "Oprah Winfrey" and "Elon Musk," further enriches the vocabulary by contextualizing the discussion. However, there are moments where the vocabulary could be more varied; for instance, the phrase "significant effort" appears somewhat repetitive.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms or related phrases. Instead of repeating "significant effort," alternatives like "considerable dedication" or "substantial commitment" could be used. Additionally, exploring more nuanced terms related to ambition, such as "aspiration," "drive," or "determination," could add depth to the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meaning. Phrases like "leveraged her ambition" and "relentlessly pursued personal success" are well-chosen and accurately reflect the concepts being discussed. However, the term "genuine happiness" could be seen as somewhat vague, as it does not specify what constitutes happiness in the context of ambition.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, consider elaborating on terms that may be interpreted differently by readers. For instance, instead of "genuine happiness," you might specify "sustainable well-being" or "fulfilling relationships," which would clarify the type of happiness being referenced. This will enhance the overall clarity and impact of the argument.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "ambition," "contemporary," and "isolation" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong grasp of English orthography. This contributes positively to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
    • How to improve: While spelling is accurate, it is always beneficial to maintain this level of attention to detail. To ensure continued accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spelling and grammar checking tools. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words can further enhance spelling proficiency.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further elevate their writing to achieve even higher scores in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "Individuals who possess ambition often achieve remarkable success, driven by a strong motivation to transcend their comfort zones." This structure effectively conveys a cause-and-effect relationship. Additionally, the essay incorporates a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. However, while the range is generally strong, there are opportunities for more varied introductory phrases and transitions to enhance the flow between ideas.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied introductory clauses and participial phrases. For example, instead of starting sentences with "Individuals who…" or "Moreover," try using phrases like "In light of this," or "Given these points," to create smoother transitions. Additionally, experimenting with inversion or conditional structures could add depth to the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "Individuals who relentlessly pursue their ambitions without regard for their well-being or relationships may encounter burnout or social isolation" is grammatically correct and effectively communicates the potential negative consequences of unchecked ambition. Punctuation is also used effectively, with commas appropriately placed to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas before conjunctions in compound sentences, which could lead to minor confusion.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy further, focus on ensuring consistent punctuation usage, particularly with conjunctions. For instance, in compound sentences, consider whether a comma is necessary before conjunctions like "and" or "but" to clarify meaning. Additionally, reviewing common grammatical structures, such as subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, can help maintain high accuracy throughout the essay. Regular practice with grammar exercises and peer reviews can also aid in identifying and correcting subtle errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, with room for refinement in sentence variety and punctuation consistency.

Bài sửa mẫu

Ambition is widely regarded as a valuable attribute in contemporary society. Individuals characterized by ambition often achieve remarkable success, motivated by a strong desire to exceed their comfort zones. A notable example is that of Oprah Winfrey, who, despite encountering numerous challenges in her early life, capitalized on her ambition to build a career in media, ultimately emerging as one of the most influential figures globally.

Moreover, ambitious individuals are often more disposed to invest considerable effort toward their objectives. Elon Musk exemplifies this dedication, as he has pursued his ambitions relentlessly while making significant contributions to advancements in space exploration and electric vehicles.

However, it is essential to balance ambition with other facets of life to attain genuine happiness. Individuals who pursue their ambitions without consideration for their well-being or relationships may encounter burnout or social isolation.

Consequently, achieving a harmonious balance that promotes personal growth is imperative. In conclusion, while ambition can serve as a powerful catalyst for success, it is vital to approach it with a balanced perspective.

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