Causes and negative efforts of using in short times and thrown away
Causes and negative efforts of using in short times and thrown away
The escalating trend of utilizing items for brief periods before discarding them is a pressing issue. This essay will discuss the primary causes and far-reaching consequences of this phenomenon.
One significant reason behind this trend is the substantial improvement in living standards. In the past, individuals focused primarily on meeting basic needs; now, with increased financial stability, they often allocate more funds to fashionable items, leading to the disposal of perfectly usable but outdated products. Additionally, the rapid advancement of science and technology, particularly in developed countries, has facilitated mass production. This has drastically reduced the cost of goods, making them more accessible and affordable. Furthermore, the omnipresent influence of advertising, driven by technological advancements, bombards consumers with the latest trends, fostering a culture of constant consumption and disposability.
The consequences of this trend are dire. Firstly, the frequent disposal of items after short-term use depletes natural resources at an alarming rate. This unsustainable consumption pattern threatens to exhaust these resources, potentially leading to a future where the needs of the global population cannot be met. Secondly, the environmental impact is profound. The vast quantities of waste generated contribute to pollution and require substantial expenditure for waste management. Landfills are filling up at unprecedented rates, and the incineration of waste releases harmful pollutants into the atmosphere, exacerbating climate change and health issues.
Moreover, this throwaway culture has socio-economic implications. The production and disposal process often relies on cheap labor in developing countries, perpetuating cycles of poverty and exploitation. The disparity between the consumption habits of affluent societies and the harsh realities of those producing these goods is stark, highlighting a significant ethical concern.
In conclusion, the trend of short-term usage and disposal of items is primarily driven by improved living standards and technological advancements. However, it results in severe consequences, including resource depletion, environmental degradation, and socio-economic inequalities. Addressing this issue requires a multifaceted approach, including promoting sustainable consumption practices, implementing stricter regulations on waste management, and raising awareness about the long-term impacts of our consumption habits.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"escalating trend" -> "increasing trend"
Explanation: "Escalating" can imply a sudden and dramatic increase, which might not be accurate in this context. "Increasing" is more neutral and suitable for describing a gradual trend. -
"utilizing items for brief periods" -> "using items for short periods"
Explanation: "Utilizing" is slightly formal but can sound overly academic or unnatural in this context. "Using" is more straightforward and commonly used in academic writing. -
"pressing issue" -> "significant issue"
Explanation: "Pressing" can imply urgency or importance, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Significant" is more neutral and appropriate for describing the importance of an issue in an academic context. -
"substantial improvement in living standards" -> "marked improvement in living standards"
Explanation: "Substantial" can be vague and less precise. "Marked" provides a clearer indication of the extent of the improvement. -
"perfectly usable but outdated" -> "fully functional but outdated"
Explanation: "Perfectly usable" is redundant with "usable." "Fully functional" is more concise and maintains the intended meaning. -
"mass production" -> "mass manufacturing"
Explanation: "Mass production" is a more general term that encompasses various types of production. "Mass manufacturing" specifically refers to the large-scale production of goods, which is more precise in this context. -
"omnipresent influence" -> "widespread influence"
Explanation: "Omnipresent" is an overused and somewhat dramatic term. "Widespread" is more accurate and less sensational, fitting the formal tone of academic writing. -
"bombards consumers" -> "bombards individuals"
Explanation: "Consumers" might imply a more passive role, whereas "individuals" is more neutral and inclusive, fitting the context better. -
"dire" -> "serious"
Explanation: "Dire" can be seen as overly dramatic and emotional for academic writing. "Serious" is more appropriate and maintains a formal tone. -
"depletes natural resources at an alarming rate" -> "rapidly depletes natural resources"
Explanation: "At an alarming rate" is redundant with "rapidly." Removing "at an alarming rate" simplifies the phrase without losing meaning. -
"potentially leading to a future" -> "potentially leading to a future where"
Explanation: The addition of "where" clarifies the conditional nature of the statement, enhancing the sentence structure and readability. -
"substantial expenditure for waste management" -> "significant expenditure for waste management"
Explanation: "Substantial" is less precise than "significant," which directly conveys the magnitude of the expenditure. -
"Landfills are filling up at unprecedented rates" -> "Landfills are filling up at an unprecedented rate"
Explanation: "Rates" should be singular to match the singular subject "rate," ensuring grammatical accuracy. -
"incineration of waste releases harmful pollutants" -> "incineration of waste releases harmful pollutants into the atmosphere"
Explanation: Adding "into the atmosphere" clarifies the medium through which the pollutants are released, enhancing the specificity of the statement. -
"socio-economic implications" -> "socioeconomic implications"
Explanation: "Socioeconomic" is a compound adjective that should not be hyphenated in formal academic writing. -
"Addressing this issue requires a multifaceted approach" -> "Addressing this issue necessitates a multifaceted approach"
Explanation: "Requires" is correct but "necessitates" adds a stronger sense of urgency and necessity, which is more suitable for the context of addressing a pressing issue.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by identifying both the causes and negative effects of the trend of using items briefly before discarding them. The causes discussed include improved living standards and technological advancements, while the consequences highlighted include resource depletion, environmental degradation, and socio-economic implications. Each part of the question is covered thoroughly, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the causes and effects. For instance, directly linking how improved living standards lead to increased waste could provide a clearer narrative. Additionally, including specific examples or statistics could strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive view of the issue.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing against the throwaway culture and emphasizing its negative impacts. The introduction sets the stage effectively, and the conclusion succinctly reiterates the main points. The logical flow of ideas supports the overall argument, making the position clear to the reader.
- How to improve: To further solidify the clarity of the position, the essay could incorporate transitional phrases that explicitly state the relationship between ideas. For example, phrases like "As a result," or "Consequently," could help guide the reader through the argument and reinforce the essay’s stance.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific cause or effect. The essay extends these ideas by providing explanations and implications, such as the socio-economic impacts of the throwaway culture. However, while the arguments are well-structured, they could be further supported with more concrete examples or data, which would enhance the persuasiveness of the claims.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the essay could include specific case studies, statistics, or real-world examples that illustrate the points made. For instance, referencing a particular country or industry affected by this trend could provide a more vivid picture and strengthen the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the causes and negative effects without deviating into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes to the overall discussion, maintaining relevance and coherence.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each point made directly ties back to the central thesis can further enhance focus. The writer should regularly ask themselves how each sentence contributes to the overarching argument, which can help in avoiding any potential tangents in future essays.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively communicates the main ideas. With some enhancements in the areas of examples and transitions, it could achieve an even higher level of clarity and persuasiveness.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph effectively focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, with the first two paragraphs addressing causes and the subsequent paragraphs discussing consequences. For instance, the transition from discussing causes such as improved living standards and technological advancements to the consequences of these trends is smooth and coherent. The ideas are sequenced in a way that builds upon each other, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: While the organization is strong, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea being discussed. This would further enhance the logical flow and help the reader anticipate the content of each section. Additionally, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph to signal shifts in focus, which can enhance clarity.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph containing a clear main idea followed by supporting details. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into causes and consequences, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the discussion. Each paragraph is well-developed, with relevant examples and explanations that reinforce the main points.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. This will help reinforce the focus of each paragraph and improve readability. Additionally, consider varying the length of paragraphs to create a more dynamic flow; for example, a shorter paragraph could be used to emphasize a particularly impactful point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transitional phrases (e.g., "Firstly," "Moreover," "Additionally") to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices help guide the reader through the argument and maintain coherence. The use of phrases like "throwaway culture" and "unsustainable consumption pattern" also contributes to thematic cohesion throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "additionally," you might use "in addition," "furthermore," or "besides." Additionally, employing reference words (e.g., "this," "these," "such") can help to create connections between sentences and ideas, reinforcing the overall coherence of the essay.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and appropriate use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and flow of their argument, potentially achieving an even higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing terms such as "escalating trend," "far-reaching consequences," "substantial improvement," and "throwaway culture." These phrases effectively convey complex ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. The use of adjectives like "fashionable" and "perfectly usable" adds nuance to the descriptions, enhancing the reader’s understanding of the issues discussed.
- How to improve: To further elevate the lexical range, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "trend," alternatives like "phenomenon" or "movement" could be used in different contexts. Additionally, including idiomatic expressions or collocations related to consumption and waste could enrich the vocabulary even more.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, as seen in phrases like "depletes natural resources" and "perpetuating cycles of poverty." However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the vast quantities of waste generated" could be more impactful if rephrased to "the staggering volumes of waste produced," which conveys a stronger sense of urgency.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey the intended meaning more sharply. This could involve using more specific terms related to environmental issues, such as "e-waste" when discussing technology, or "consumerism" instead of "constant consumption." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building resources can help identify more precise alternatives.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "utilizing," "substantial," and "environmental" are spelled correctly, reflecting the writer’s proficiency in English. This aspect contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: While spelling is strong, the writer should continue to practice proofreading techniques to maintain this level of accuracy. Regularly reviewing common spelling rules and engaging in spelling exercises can help reinforce this skill. Additionally, utilizing tools like spell check in word processing software can provide an extra layer of assurance.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a Band Score of 8. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further improve their lexical resource in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences, such as "In the past, individuals focused primarily on meeting basic needs; now, with increased financial stability, they often allocate more funds to fashionable items," showcases an effective combination of clauses that enhances the flow of ideas. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, which contributes to a more engaging reading experience. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be further diversified, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, where the sentences tend to follow a similar pattern.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with the subject, try beginning with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Due to the substantial improvement in living standards, individuals…"). Additionally, using more rhetorical questions or conditional sentences could add depth and complexity to your arguments.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "the vast quantities of waste generated contribute to pollution" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas and semicolons to separate clauses and ideas. However, there are a few instances where punctuation could be improved for clarity, such as in the sentence "Moreover, this throwaway culture has socio-economic implications," where a colon could precede the explanation that follows.
- How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy, focus on ensuring that all clauses are properly punctuated, especially in complex sentences. Reviewing the rules for using commas, semicolons, and colons can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for any minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing can enhance overall clarity. For instance, consider rephrasing sentences that feel overly complex or convoluted to ensure they are easily understandable.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. With targeted improvements in sentence variety and punctuation, the essay could reach an even higher level of sophistication.
Bài sửa mẫu
The escalating trend of utilizing items for short periods before discarding them is a significant issue. This essay will discuss the primary causes and far-reaching consequences of this phenomenon.
One major reason behind this trend is the marked improvement in living standards. In the past, individuals focused primarily on meeting basic needs; now, with increased financial stability, they often allocate more funds to fashionable items, leading to the disposal of perfectly functional but outdated products. Additionally, the rapid advancement of science and technology, particularly in developed countries, has facilitated mass manufacturing. This has drastically reduced the cost of goods, making them more accessible and affordable. Furthermore, the widespread influence of advertising, driven by technological advancements, bombards consumers with the latest trends, fostering a culture of constant consumption and disposability.
The consequences of this trend are serious. Firstly, the frequent disposal of items after short-term use rapidly depletes natural resources at an alarming rate. This unsustainable consumption pattern threatens to exhaust these resources, potentially leading to a future where the needs of the global population cannot be met. Secondly, the environmental impact is profound. The vast quantities of waste generated contribute to pollution and require significant expenditure for waste management. Landfills are filling up at an unprecedented rate, and the incineration of waste releases harmful pollutants into the atmosphere, exacerbating climate change and health issues.
Moreover, this throwaway culture has socioeconomic implications. The production and disposal process often relies on cheap labor in developing countries, perpetuating cycles of poverty and exploitation. The disparity between the consumption habits of affluent societies and the harsh realities of those producing these goods is stark, highlighting a significant ethical concern.
In conclusion, the trend of short-term usage and disposal of items is primarily driven by improved living standards and technological advancements. However, it results in severe consequences, including resource depletion, environmental degradation, and socioeconomic inequalities. Addressing this issue necessitates a multifaceted approach, including promoting sustainable consumption practices, implementing stricter regulations on waste management, and raising awareness about the long-term impacts of our consumption habits.