decribe a job in the period of social media

there are a lot of interesting jobs these day. espencially, along with the Internet explosion as well as social media platforms, many new working trends or new definations about jobs are formed. we often hear more about " work from home" or freelancers and the first thing that comes to my mind is content creators. Imagine that you have any ideas about everything in our life as long as they comply with law rules, then you turn them into creative pictures, videos, or piecies of writtings to easily attract other people. surprisingly, this type of job doesn't depend of the limit of age, specific education and wherever you live such as urban or rural area . this job only requires a smart phone, a little knowledge about editing footage but nowadays these techniques nearly are supported by all social media platforms. As the reality has shown that many people suddenly are popular after some uploaded videos becomes viral dramatically. and of course, these things can bring them the new working chances. Specially Gen Z who catch up with trend or technology have more advantages to get the job paying well. It helps them not only earn money but also build the personal brand. It's nearly like the process that you start to run their own business by themself. They are known as KOL, KOC or influencer. They have chances to go many places, or the content creators are able to work anywhere, at any time, unlikely other workers who work 9-5 at an office. Besides the benefits mentioned above, they have to face to their own challenges like competitive environment…. compared with the difficulties, this job are likely to have more priviledges, it offers the working chances equally for everyone who are living in the technology century.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"there are a lot of interesting jobs these day" -> "there are numerous interesting jobs today"
Explanation: Replacing "a lot of" with "numerous" and "these day" with "today" refines the phrasing to be more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"espencially" -> "especially"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "espencially" to "especially" ensures accuracy and professionalism in the text.
"new definations about jobs" -> "new definitions of jobs"
Explanation: Changing "definations" to "definitions" corrects the spelling, and adding "of" after "definitions" clarifies the prepositional phrase, enhancing grammatical correctness.
"work from home" -> "remote work"
Explanation: Using "remote work" instead of "work from home" is a more formal and widely recognized term in academic and professional contexts.
"piecies of writtings" -> "pieces of writing"
Explanation: Correcting "piecies" to "pieces" and "writtings" to "writing" fixes spelling errors and aligns with standard English usage.
"doesn’t depend of the limit of age" -> "is not limited by age"
Explanation: Replacing "doesn’t depend of the limit of age" with "is not limited by age" corrects grammatical structure and clarifies the meaning.
"such as urban or rural area" -> "such as urban or rural areas"
Explanation: Adding the plural form "areas" corrects the grammatical agreement with the plural noun "such as."
"a little knowledge about editing footage" -> "some basic knowledge of editing techniques"
Explanation: Replacing "a little knowledge about editing footage" with "some basic knowledge of editing techniques" provides a more precise and formal description of the required skills.
"nearly are supported" -> "are largely supported"
Explanation: Changing "nearly are supported" to "are largely supported" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances the formality of the statement.
"these things can bring them the new working chances" -> "these opportunities can provide them with new job prospects"
Explanation: Replacing "these things can bring them the new working chances" with "these opportunities can provide them with new job prospects" uses more precise and formal language.
"Specially Gen Z" -> "Especially Gen Z"
Explanation: Correcting "Specially" to "Especially" fixes a spelling error, ensuring the text adheres to standard English spelling rules.
"catch up with trend or technology" -> "keep up with trends and technology"
Explanation: Changing "catch up with trend or technology" to "keep up with trends and technology" corrects the verb tense and adds clarity by using "and" instead of "or" for inclusivity.
"It’s nearly like the process that you start to run their own business by themself" -> "It is similar to starting one’s own business"
Explanation: Replacing "It’s nearly like the process that you start to run their own business by themself" with "It is similar to starting one’s own business" simplifies and clarifies the sentence structure, removing informal contractions and awkward phrasing.
"They have chances to go many places" -> "They have opportunities to travel widely"
Explanation: Replacing "They have chances to go many places" with "They have opportunities to travel widely" uses more precise and formal vocabulary suitable for academic writing.
"it offers the working chances equally for everyone" -> "it offers equal job opportunities to everyone"
Explanation: Changing "it offers the working chances equally for everyone" to "it offers equal job opportunities to everyone" corrects grammatical errors and enhances clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing a specific job related to social media—content creators. It effectively highlights the rise of this profession due to the internet and social media platforms. However, while the essay mentions the job’s characteristics and benefits, it could delve deeper into the implications of this job in the context of social media, such as its impact on traditional employment or societal changes.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could explore additional aspects of the job, such as the potential for job security, the evolution of job roles in the digital age, or the societal perceptions of content creation. Including these elements would provide a more comprehensive view of the job in the context of social media.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear focus on content creators as a job in the social media era. However, the position could be more consistently articulated. For instance, the transition between discussing benefits and challenges is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse readers about the overall stance on the job’s desirability.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should use clear topic sentences and transitions that reinforce the main argument. For example, after discussing the benefits, a transition sentence could explicitly state that while there are challenges, the advantages outweigh them, thereby guiding the reader through the argument more smoothly.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas about the job of content creators, such as flexibility, income potential, and the ability to build a personal brand. However, some ideas lack sufficient elaboration or supporting examples. For instance, the mention of "viral videos" could be supported with specific examples or statistics to illustrate the point more effectively.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to provide specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate the points made. Incorporating data or case studies about successful content creators could also enhance the credibility of the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the job of content creators. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly vague, particularly when mentioning "privileges" and "challenges" without clearly defining them or linking them back to the main topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main topic of content creation in the social media context. Using clear subheadings or bullet points to outline specific aspects of the job could help keep the discussion organized and relevant.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, it would benefit from deeper exploration of the subject, clearer transitions, more specific examples, and a tighter focus on the main theme.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear main idea about the job of content creators in the context of social media. However, the organization of information could be improved. For instance, the introduction mentions various job trends but quickly shifts focus to content creators without a clear transition. The flow from discussing the advantages of content creation to the challenges faced is somewhat abrupt, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using a more structured approach. Start with a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to indicate what that paragraph will cover. For example, after introducing content creators, you could have a paragraph dedicated solely to their advantages, followed by another that discusses the challenges they face.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which affects readability and coherence. Currently, the text is presented as a single block, making it difficult to distinguish between different ideas. Effective paragraphing is essential for guiding the reader through your argument.
- How to improve: Break the essay into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. For instance, create one paragraph for the introduction, one for the advantages of being a content creator, another for the challenges, and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your points. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "besides" and "especially," but the range is limited. Additionally, some transitions are not effectively used, leading to a choppy reading experience. For example, the transition from discussing the advantages of content creation to the challenges faced is not smooth, which disrupts the flow.
- How to improve: To diversify your use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "in addition," "however," and "on the other hand" to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to enhance the clarity of your argument. For example, when transitioning from advantages to challenges, you might say, "While there are numerous benefits to being a content creator, there are also significant challenges that must be addressed."

By implementing these suggestions, you can improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, potentially raising your band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in terms of job-related terms such as "content creators," "freelancers," and "influencer." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is repetitive or lacks variety. For example, the phrase "new working trends" is used without further elaboration or synonyms, which could enhance the richness of the text.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more varied vocabulary and synonyms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "job," alternatives like "occupation," "profession," or "role" could be employed. Additionally, expanding on phrases like "working chances" with terms such as "employment opportunities" or "career prospects" would enhance lexical diversity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes relevant vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the limit of age" is awkwardly constructed; a more precise expression would be "age restrictions." Similarly, "the personal brand" should be "a personal brand" for grammatical accuracy. The term "priviledges" is also misspelled and should be "privileges."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and correctness. For example, instead of saying "turn them into creative pictures," a more precise phrase could be "transform ideas into engaging visual content." Regular practice with vocabulary exercises and reading could also help in understanding the nuances of word usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "espencially" (especially), "definations" (definitions), "piecies" (pieces), and "priviledges" (privileges). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a systematic approach to proofreading their work. This could involve reading the essay aloud to catch errors or using spell-check tools before finalizing the text. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can significantly enhance spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary related to the topic, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences. For example, phrases like "there are a lot of interesting jobs these day" and "this job only requires a smart phone" reflect a straightforward structure. While some compound sentences are present, such as "they have chances to go many places, or the content creators are able to work anywhere," the overall lack of complexity restricts the range.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences. This can be achieved by using subordinate clauses, such as "Although many people find success as content creators, they must also navigate a competitive environment." Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and using transitional phrases can help create a more engaging and diverse writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "espencially" is a misspelling of "especially," and "definations" should be "definitions." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "this job are likely to have more priviledges," where "are" should be "is." Punctuation errors include missing commas, such as in "this job only requires a smart phone, a little knowledge about editing footage but nowadays," where a comma is needed before "but."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for spelling errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Additionally, practicing the use of punctuation, especially commas and periods, will enhance clarity. The writer can benefit from reviewing grammar rules and utilizing grammar-checking tools to catch errors before finalizing their work. Reading more complex texts can also help internalize proper grammar and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas about jobs in the era of social media, addressing these grammatical and structural weaknesses will significantly improve the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are numerous interesting jobs today, especially with the explosion of the Internet and social media platforms. Many new working trends and definitions of jobs have emerged. One prominent example that comes to mind is content creators. Imagine having ideas about various aspects of life, as long as they comply with legal guidelines, and transforming them into creative pictures, videos, or pieces of writing to attract an audience. Surprisingly, this type of job is not limited by age, specific education, or location, whether in urban or rural areas. This role only requires a smartphone and some basic knowledge of editing techniques, which are largely supported by all social media platforms today.

As reality has shown, many individuals have gained popularity after their uploaded videos went viral. Of course, these opportunities can provide them with new job prospects. Especially Gen Z, who are adept at keeping up with trends and technology, have a significant advantage in securing well-paying jobs. This profession not only helps them earn money but also allows them to build a personal brand. It is similar to starting one’s own business, as they are known as KOLs, KOCs, or influencers. They have opportunities to travel widely, and content creators can work anywhere, at any time, unlike traditional workers who follow a 9-to-5 schedule in an office.

In addition to the benefits mentioned above, they also face their own challenges, such as a competitive environment. However, compared to the difficulties, this job is likely to offer more privileges, providing equal job opportunities to everyone living in this technological era.