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English is no longer a compulsory subject in the graduation examination. Some people believe that this subject should be made compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

English is no longer a compulsory subject in the graduation examination. Some people believe that this subject should be made compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently, the elimination of English as a compulsory subject in the national entrance examination has sparked vigorous controversy, with some assuming that this would preclude students from focusing on the English field. Personally, I fervently believe that this modification would remove the unnecessary burden for students and ensure social equality, which will be further analyzed in my essay
To commence, it is understandable why some individuals assert their disapproval for including English as an optional subject in the graduation exams. The foremost reason is that this change is thought to discourage students from continuing to learn this subject, which can take a heavy toll on their future. In the society of globalization, English has been gaining more popularity, making the number of its users rise exponentially. Therefore, the fact that this language is no longer a requisite for students to the entrance exams has led some people to be skeptical about the practicality and usefulness of the new testing regulations. These opponents argue that the disappearance of English will do students a disservice, leading to their disfavor of contemporary testing practices. However, this perspective neglects an important fact that students can still be exposed to English with the help of digital platforms. Thanks to the relentless march of technology, they can access a wide range of instructions and materials from native speakers, in turn constantly nurturing their passion for English and even rapidly making progress since they have to exert themselves to fully utilize the potential of self-learning
Another reason why I side with the proponents of the recent modification in the graduation exams is to alleviate the pressure on teenagers and foster social equality between the metropolitan and less developed areas. Concerning the academic burden from previous testing regulations, the requirement to pass the English exam has forced students to concentrate on vocabulary and grammar, rather than evenly devote their attention to the four fundamental skills, including reading, writing, listening, and speaking. Consequently, this has instigated the problem of cramming for high scores, instead of truly embracing the language. Besides, each occupation demands different levels of English proficiency, Students who enroll in the scientific and medical fields are often required to garner a comprehensive understanding of English pertaining to their professions, rather than mastering all the knowledge taught. Moreover, teaching quality among regions also necessitates the elimination of English in the entrance examination. It is perceptible that students living in urban areas are more likely to be exposed to multi-language environments, with the guidance of diligent teachers and the availability of resources. In contrast, those dwelling in far-flung regions still face various difficulties in pursuing their education, let alone studying foreign languages. Therefore, it is of paramount importance to exclude English from compulsory subjects before we can find a congruous solution to these problems.
To encapsulate the point, I advocate the disappearance of English in the graduation tests owing to its pressure on students and the discrepancy in education qualities. Hence, we should focus on ensuring equality and benefits for students before in lieu of recklessly incorporating English in the entrance examination.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Recently, the elimination of English as a compulsory subject in the national entrance examination has sparked vigorous controversy, with some assuming that this would preclude students from focusing on the English field."
    -> "Lately, the removal of English as a mandatory subject from the national entrance examination has sparked intense controversy, as some speculate that this change might hinder students’ emphasis on the study of English."
    Explanation: Replacing "elimination" with "removal" maintains formality while avoiding repetition of "compulsory." Also, substituting "vigorous" with "intense" retains the emphasis on the strong debate but in a more academically fitting manner.

  2. "Personally, I fervently believe that this modification would remove the unnecessary burden for students and ensure social equality, which will be further analyzed in my essay."
    -> "In my opinion, this alteration would alleviate an undue burden on students and promote social equality, aspects that will be elaborated on in my essay."
    Explanation: Replacing "fervently believe" with "in my opinion" and adjusting the structure makes the sentence more formal. "Modification" is substituted with "alteration" for variety, and "ensure" is changed to "promote" for a nuanced shift in meaning.

  3. "To commence, it is understandable why some individuals assert their disapproval for including English as an optional subject in the graduation exams."
    -> "To begin with, it is understandable why some individuals express their opposition to making English an elective subject in the graduation exams."
    Explanation: Replacing "commence" with "begin with" maintains formality. "Disapproval" is changed to "opposition" for a more precise and academic term, while "assert" is replaced with "express" for a clearer description of their stance.

  4. "The foremost reason is that this change is thought to discourage students from continuing to learn this subject, which can take a heavy toll on their future."
    -> "The primary reason is that this alteration is believed to dissuade students from pursuing further study in this subject, potentially impacting their future significantly."
    Explanation: Swapping "foremost" with "primary" maintains the emphasis on the primary reason while employing a more formal term. Replacing "discourage" with "dissuade" and restructuring the sentence enhances clarity and formality.

  5. "Therefore, the fact that this language is no longer a requisite for students to the entrance exams has led some people to be skeptical about the practicality and usefulness of the new testing regulations."
    -> "Thus, the absence of this language as a requirement for the entrance exams has caused skepticism among some regarding the practicality and usefulness of the new testing regulations."
    Explanation: Replacing "fact" with "absence" provides a more formal expression. Also, changing "requisite for students to the entrance exams" to "requirement for the entrance exams" clarifies the sentence structure.

  6. "However, this perspective neglects an important fact that students can still be exposed to English with the help of digital platforms."
    -> "Nevertheless, this viewpoint overlooks the significant possibility for students to access English through digital platforms."
    Explanation: Substituting "neglects" with "overlooks" maintains the academic tone and provides a more precise term. Adjusting the sentence structure enhances readability without compromising on formality.

  7. "Thanks to the relentless march of technology, they can access a wide range of instructions and materials from native speakers, in turn constantly nurturing their passion for English and even rapidly making progress since they have to exert themselves to fully utilize the potential of self-learning."
    -> "Due to the relentless advancement of technology, students can access a broad spectrum of instructions and materials from native speakers, thereby consistently fostering their passion for English and achieving rapid progress through their dedicated utilization of self-learning potential."
    Explanation: Replacing "march of technology" with "advancement of technology" maintains formality. Also, restructuring the sentence and using more precise terms enhances clarity and aligns with academic language style.

  8. "Concerning the academic burden from previous testing regulations, the requirement to pass the English exam has forced students to concentrate on vocabulary and grammar, rather than evenly devote their attention to the four fundamental skills, including reading, writing, listening, and speaking."
    -> "Regarding the academic pressure imposed by former testing regulations, the necessity of passing the English exam has compelled students to focus primarily on vocabulary and grammar, neglecting a balanced emphasis on the four essential skills: reading, writing, listening, and speaking."
    Explanation: Replacing "burden" with "pressure" and rephrasing the sentence enhances clarity and maintains formal language. Using "compelled" instead of "forced" adds nuance to the sentence.

  9. "In contrast, those dwelling in far-flung regions still face various difficulties in pursuing their education, let alone studying foreign languages."
    -> "Conversely, individuals residing in remote regions encounter numerous challenges in pursuing education, not to mention studying foreign languages."
    Explanation: Replacing "dwelling" with "residing" provides a more formal term. Using "Conversely" instead of "In contrast" maintains academic formality, and restructuring the sentence improves readability.

  10. "Hence, we should focus on ensuring equality and benefits for students before in lieu of recklessly incorporating English in the entrance examination."
    -> "Thus, our priority should be ensuring equality and benefits for students rather than hastily incorporating English into the entrance examination."
    Explanation: Replacing "Hence" with "Thus" maintains formality. "In lieu of" is replaced with "rather than" for more clarity, and "recklessly" is substituted with "hastily" for a more precise and formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the main parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument. It discusses the reasons for supporting the elimination of English as a compulsory subject, focusing on reduced pressure on students and fostering social equality.
    • How to improve: To enhance, consider a more balanced discussion between the advantages and disadvantages of eliminating English as a compulsory subject. Include more nuanced perspectives on how making it optional could potentially impact students’ language proficiency and future opportunities.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 9

    • Detailed explanation: The position supporting the removal of English as a compulsory subject is evident from the beginning and consistently maintained throughout the essay. The arguments are well-developed and directly align with this stance.
    • How to improve: While maintaining clarity, introduce counterarguments or opposing views to enrich the discussion, demonstrating a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding the topic.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas, extends them with supporting details, and provides examples to reinforce arguments. It discusses the impact on students’ focus, the disparities in educational quality, and potential solutions.
    • How to improve: To strengthen, expand on the supporting evidence by incorporating specific examples or studies that showcase the effects of mandatory English education on students’ academic performance and opportunities.
  • Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly remains focused on the prompt, discussing reasons for and against the elimination of English as a compulsory subject.
    • How to improve: Avoid slight deviations from the main topic by ensuring that all discussed points directly contribute to the central argument. Refrain from slightly tangential discussions that could distract from the primary thesis.

Overall Feedback:

  • The essay showcases a clear position favoring the elimination of English as a compulsory subject, supported by well-developed arguments. However, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both advantages and disadvantages to provide a comprehensive view. Incorporating a deeper understanding of potential consequences for students’ language skills and future opportunities would strengthen the essay. Additionally, maintaining a tight focus on directly relevant points and enriching arguments with diverse perspectives would elevate the discussion further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization with a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph flows logically into the next, and ideas are presented in a coherent manner. For instance, the introduction sets the stage by introducing the controversy, followed by well-organized body paragraphs that delve into the reasons supporting the author’s viewpoint.
    • How to Improve: While the logical organization is strong, there is room for improvement in the introduction. It could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement that clearly outlines the author’s stance on the issue.
  • Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, and there is mostly logical sequencing of ideas within each paragraph. Transitions between paragraphs contribute to the overall coherence. However, there are instances where ideas within a paragraph could be more precisely ordered for enhanced clarity.
    • How to Improve: Consider refining the internal organization of paragraphs, ensuring that ideas progress in a logical order. Additionally, pay attention to smooth transitions between paragraphs to strengthen the overall coherence.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay demonstrates a flexible use of cohesive devices, contributing to overall coherence. However, there are occasional inaccuracies or instances where the amount of cohesive devices may be deemed inappropriate. Some sentences lack clear connectives, impacting the flow of ideas.
    • How to Improve: Work on consistently incorporating a variety of cohesive devices such as conjunctions and transitional phrases. Pay special attention to those areas where connectivity seems lacking, ensuring that each sentence contributes to the seamless progression of ideas.

In summary, the essay performs well in coherence and cohesion, reflecting characteristics of Band 7. To improve, focus on refining the introduction for a clearer thesis statement, enhancing the internal organization of paragraphs, and consistently using a diverse range of cohesive devices to maintain a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for some flexibility and precision. The use of words like "vigorous controversy," "exponentially," and "relentless march of technology" contributes to a varied and engaging vocabulary.
    • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, consider incorporating more specialized or nuanced vocabulary where appropriate. For instance, in the discussion of technology, you could use specific terms related to digital platforms or educational technologies to showcase a deeper lexical range.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally conveys clear meaning despite a limited range or occasional lack of precision. For instance, the phrase "disfavor of contemporary testing practices" could be more precisely expressed for a clearer impact.
    • How to improve: Work on refining the precision of vocabulary by choosing words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Instead of "disfavor," you might consider terms like "opposition" or "critique" for greater precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits few spelling errors that do not significantly detract from overall clarity. The spelling accuracy is commendable, with minimal issues observed.
    • How to improve: Maintain the current level of attention to spelling accuracy. Continue proofreading to catch any potential errors and consider expanding your vocabulary to handle more complex terms without compromising spelling.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and spelling, contributing to a well-constructed argument. To improve further, focus on incorporating more specialized vocabulary for precision and continue maintaining the current high level of spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of structures. There’s an attempt to incorporate complex sentence structures, albeit with occasional stiffness. Phrases like "Recently, the elimination of English as a compulsory subject in the national entrance examination has sparked vigorous controversy" showcase a good attempt at complexity. However, some sentences could benefit from more fluidity and variation in structure.
    • How to improve: To enhance structural variety, try combining sentences using transitional phrases or clauses. For instance, merging related ideas could strengthen cohesion and showcase a broader range of structures. Also, consider employing different sentence types (simple, compound, complex) to introduce more dynamism into the essay.
  • Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy. Most sentences are error-free, with only occasional minor issues. For example, in the sentence "which can take a heavy toll on their future," a missing article before "future" slightly affects the sentence’s accuracy.
    • How to improve: To further elevate accuracy, focus on consistent article usage and pay attention to singular/plural agreement. Proofreading for these minor errors could ensure a more polished essay.
  • Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally well-controlled throughout the essay. However, there are instances where commas could be better utilized for clarity and flow. For instance, in the sentence "Students who enroll in the scientific and medical fields are often required to garner a comprehensive understanding of English pertaining to their professions," a comma after "fields" could enhance readability.
    • How to improve: Work on using commas more effectively to segment ideas and aid comprehension. Consider using them to clarify lists, separate clauses, and denote pauses for improved readability.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong language skills, particularly in grammar accuracy. To improve further, focus on enhancing structural variety by employing different sentence structures, maintaining consistent grammatical accuracy by paying attention to articles and agreements, and refining punctuation usage for better clarity and flow. These refinements will contribute to a more nuanced and polished essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recently, the removal of English as a compulsory subject from the national entrance examination has sparked vigorous controversy, with some assuming that this would preclude students from focusing on the English field. Personally, I fervently believe that this modification would remove the unnecessary burden for students and ensure social equality, which will be further analyzed in my essay.

To commence, it is understandable why some individuals assert their disapproval for including English as an optional subject in the graduation exams. The foremost reason is that this change is thought to discourage students from continuing to learn this subject, which can take a heavy toll on their future. In the society of globalization, English has been gaining more popularity, making the number of its users rise exponentially. Therefore, the fact that this language is no longer a requisite for students to the entrance exams has led some people to be skeptical about the practicality and usefulness of the new testing regulations. These opponents argue that the disappearance of English will do students a disservice, leading to their disfavor of contemporary testing practices. However, this perspective neglects an important fact that students can still be exposed to English with the help of digital platforms. Thanks to the relentless march of technology, they can access a wide range of instructions and materials from native speakers, in turn constantly nurturing their passion for English and even rapidly making progress since they have to exert themselves to fully utilize the potential of self-learning.

Another reason why I side with the proponents of the recent modification in the graduation exams is to alleviate the pressure on teenagers and foster social equality between the metropolitan and less developed areas. Concerning the academic burden from previous testing regulations, the requirement to pass the English exam has forced students to concentrate on vocabulary and grammar, rather than evenly devote their attention to the four fundamental skills, including reading, writing, listening, and speaking. Consequently, this has instigated the problem of cramming for high scores, instead of truly embracing the language. Besides, each occupation demands different levels of English proficiency, Students who enroll in the scientific and medical fields are often required to garner a comprehensive understanding of English pertaining to their professions, rather than mastering all the knowledge taught. Moreover, teaching quality among regions also necessitates the elimination of English in the entrance examination. It is perceptible that students living in urban areas are more likely to be exposed to multi-language environments, with the guidance of diligent teachers and the availability of resources. In contrast, those dwelling in far-flung regions still face various difficulties in pursuing their education, let alone studying foreign languages. Therefore, it is of paramount importance to exclude English from compulsory subjects before we can find a congruous solution to these problems.

To encapsulate the point, I advocate the disappearance of English in the graduation tests owing to its pressure on students and the discrepancy in education qualities. Hence, we should focus on ensuring equality and benefits for students before in lieu of recklessly incorporating English in the entrance examination.

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