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Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush.
What are the reasons?
Is this a positive or negative development?

In today's digital era, it is true that the practice of writing by hand has become a rarity. This phenomenon can be attributed to several reasons, and I consider it to be a predominantly positive trend.

There are two main reasons why the practice of manual writing is declining. First of which is the technology advancements. The emergence of electronic devices such as smartphones, computers and tablets has innovated the way people work and communicate. There is no denying that the convenience of texting and typing have made it the preferred mode of communication for many individuals, reducing the need for handwriting, which seems cumbersome and time-consuming in comparison. The second reason is the changing educational practices. With the integration of technology in education, students are encouraged to use digital devices to note-taking and completing their assignments. Some educational institutions even adopt a “paperless" approach, where they provide tablets and laptops for their students to do their work at schools. This has diminished the emphasis on handwriting in academic settings, as students no longer need to use paper or pens for their learning and assessments.

In my view, the change described above should be seen as progress. The first argument for my statement is the environmental considerations. The move towards digital writing tools aligns with the efforts to reduce paper usage. By opting for digital formats, people can minimize paper consumption and waste, which contributes to a sustainable life and environmental protection. In addition, the transition to digital documents obviously provides unparalleled convenience and efficiency. It is apparent that typing allows for faster note-taking, editing, and sharing of information. The ease of editing, spell-checking, portability and sharing of information offers greater convenience compared to physical handwritten notes or documents.

In conclusion, the decline in writing by hand can be explained by the technological development and modern learning approach in education. Considering the benefits in terms of environment and convenience, I believe that this shift is desirable.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "In today’s digital era" -> "In the contemporary digital age"
    Explanation: Replacing "In today’s digital era" with "In the contemporary digital age" adds a more formal and sophisticated touch to the introduction, aligning it with academic style.

  2. "it is true that" -> "it is evident that"
    Explanation: Substituting "it is true that" with "it is evident that" enhances the formality of the statement, providing a more assertive tone commonly found in academic writing.

  3. "This phenomenon can be attributed to several reasons" -> "This shift can be attributed to various factors"
    Explanation: Replacing "This phenomenon can be attributed to several reasons" with "This shift can be attributed to various factors" maintains formality while offering a more precise and academic expression.

  4. "First of which is" -> "The first of these is"
    Explanation: Changing "First of which is" to "The first of these is" corrects the grammar and lends a more polished and formal structure to the sentence.

  5. "The emergence of electronic devices" -> "The proliferation of electronic devices"
    Explanation: Substituting "The emergence of electronic devices" with "The proliferation of electronic devices" introduces a more advanced vocabulary, elevating the language and maintaining a formal tone.

  6. "There is no denying that" -> "Undoubtedly"
    Explanation: Replacing "There is no denying that" with "Undoubtedly" adds a stronger and more formal affirmation to the sentence.

  7. "convenience of texting and typing" -> "convenience of text messaging and typing"
    Explanation: Adjusting "convenience of texting and typing" to "convenience of text messaging and typing" provides a more specific and precise description of the preferred modes of communication.

  8. "which seems cumbersome and time-consuming in comparison" -> "which may be perceived as cumbersome and time-consuming in contrast"
    Explanation: Modifying "which seems cumbersome and time-consuming in comparison" to "which may be perceived as cumbersome and time-consuming in contrast" enhances the formality and clarifies the comparison.

  9. "The second reason is" -> "The second reason lies in"
    Explanation: Changing "The second reason is" to "The second reason lies in" introduces a more refined structure and emphasizes the causative relationship.

  10. "With the integration of technology in education" -> "Due to the integration of technology in education"
    Explanation: Substituting "With the integration of technology in education" with "Due to the integration of technology in education" maintains a formal tone and clarifies the cause-and-effect relationship.

  11. "students are encouraged to use digital devices to note-taking" -> "students are encouraged to use digital devices for note-taking"
    Explanation: Adjusting "students are encouraged to use digital devices to note-taking" to "students are encouraged to use digital devices for note-taking" corrects the preposition usage, ensuring grammatical accuracy.

  12. "Some educational institutions even adopt a ‘paperless’ approach" -> "Some educational institutions have even embraced a ‘paperless’ approach"
    Explanation: Enhancing "Some educational institutions even adopt a ‘paperless’ approach" to "Some educational institutions have even embraced a ‘paperless’ approach" adds sophistication and emphasizes the proactive adoption of the approach.

  13. "This has diminished the emphasis on handwriting" -> "This shift has diminished the emphasis on manual writing"
    Explanation: Replacing "This has diminished the emphasis on handwriting" with "This shift has diminished the emphasis on manual writing" maintains clarity and aligns with a more formal terminology.

  14. "In my view" -> "From my perspective"
    Explanation: Substituting "In my view" with "From my perspective" maintains a personal touch while introducing a more formal expression commonly used in academic writing.

  15. "The first argument for my statement is" -> "The primary rationale supporting my assertion is"
    Explanation: Changing "The first argument for my statement is" to "The primary rationale supporting my assertion is" provides a more formal and structured introduction to the supporting argument.

  16. "By opting for digital formats" -> "By choosing digital formats"
    Explanation: Substituting "By opting for digital formats" with "By choosing digital formats" offers a more precise and sophisticated expression while maintaining clarity.

  17. "It is apparent that" -> "It is evident that"
    Explanation: Replacing "It is apparent that" with "It is evident that" adds a stronger and more formal assertion to the statement.

  18. "typing allows for faster note-taking, editing, and sharing of information" -> "typing enables more rapid note-taking, editing, and information sharing"
    Explanation: Adjusting "typing allows for faster note-taking, editing, and sharing of information" to "typing enables more rapid note-taking, editing, and information sharing" maintains clarity and introduces a more formal term.

  19. "The ease of editing, spell-checking, portability, and sharing of information offers greater convenience" -> "The ease of editing, spell-checking, portability, and information sharing provides greater convenience"
    Explanation: Modifying "The ease of editing, spell-checking, portability, and sharing of information offers greater convenience" to "The ease of editing, spell-checking, portability, and information sharing provides greater convenience" ensures grammatical consistency and precision.

  20. "In conclusion" -> "To conclude"
    Explanation: Substituting "In conclusion" with "To conclude" is a common formal transition in academic writing, providing a more polished ending to the essay.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It identifies and discusses reasons for the decline in manual writing, presenting a clear stance on whether this is a positive or negative development. Relevant sections, such as the impact of technology and changing educational practices, are cited to support the argument.
    • How to improve: While the essay provides a comprehensive response, it could enhance clarity by explicitly stating at the outset that it will address both reasons for the decline and the positive/negative aspect. This can help guide the reader through the essay more smoothly.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. The writer explicitly states their belief in the predominantly positive nature of the trend and consistently supports this stance with relevant arguments and examples.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the essay’s coherence, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly indicate the focus and stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. The reasons for the decline in manual writing are well-developed, with specific examples such as the impact of technology and changing educational practices. Each point is elaborated upon logically and coherently.
    • How to improve: To enhance the essay’s depth, consider exploring potential counterarguments and addressing them. This can demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay consistently stays on topic, discussing the reasons for the decline in manual writing and evaluating whether this is a positive or negative development. There are no significant deviations from the central theme.
    • How to improve: Maintain the focus on the prompt throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph contributes directly to answering the questions posed in the prompt, avoiding tangential discussions.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong response to the prompt, effectively addressing all aspects of the question. The clarity of the position, well-supported ideas, and relevance to the topic contribute to the overall coherence and effectiveness of the essay. To further improve, the writer can enhance the essay’s structure by explicitly outlining their approach and considering potential counterarguments for a more nuanced discussion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that outlines the reasons for the decline in manual writing and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are well-structured, each presenting a distinct reason supported by examples. The essay concludes by summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s viewpoint.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider ensuring a seamless transition between paragraphs. While the ideas are well-presented, a more explicit use of transitional phrases can create a smoother flow.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to present distinct ideas. Each paragraph has a clear focus, such as reasons for the decline and the benefits of digital writing. The structure within paragraphs is generally sound, with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
    • How to improve: In certain instances, particularly in the first body paragraph, there’s an opportunity to break down longer sentences into shorter ones for improved clarity and readability. Consider shorter sentences to enhance the overall paragraph structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words (e.g., "first of which," "second reason," "in my view," "in conclusion") and cohesive phrases ("there is no denying," "in addition," "it is apparent"). These devices contribute to the coherence of the essay and guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: While the essay generally utilizes cohesive devices effectively, a slight increase in the use of synonyms and parallel structures could add richness to the language. This can be achieved by varying sentence structures and using a diverse range of cohesive elements.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong coherence and cohesion, with well-organized content, effective paragraphing, and a judicious use of cohesive devices. To enhance further, focus on seamless transitions, consider sentence structure variations, and ensure concise and clear expression throughout.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "phenomenon," "innovated," "cumbersome," and "sustainable life." However, there is room for improvement in the variety of vocabulary used, especially in expressing ideas more precisely and vividly.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more nuanced and context-specific terms. For example, instead of using "phenomenon," explore alternatives such as "trend" or "shift." Utilize synonyms and explore different shades of meaning to add depth to your expression.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys ideas clearly, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "reducing the need for handwriting" could be refined to "diminishing the reliance on handwritten communication." Precision in vocabulary contributes to a more sophisticated and nuanced expression of ideas.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to word choice, aiming for terms that precisely convey your intended meaning. Thesaurus tools can be helpful, but ensure that selected words fit seamlessly within the context. Proofread your essay to identify opportunities for more precise vocabulary and make necessary adjustments.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with no glaring errors observed. However, it’s crucial to remain vigilant, as small spelling mistakes can affect the overall impression of the writing.
    • How to improve: Continue practicing careful proofreading to catch any potential spelling errors. Consider using spelling and grammar-checking tools as an additional layer of assurance. Building a habit of reviewing written work systematically will contribute to sustained accuracy in spelling.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary, with opportunities for refinement to enhance precision and variety further. Attention to detail in word selection and continued vigilance in spelling accuracy will contribute to an even stronger lexical resource in future writing endeavors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably varied range of sentence structures. It includes simple sentences, compound sentences, and some complex structures. For instance, the author uses complex sentences to present reasons and supporting details, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of structures. The essay tends to rely on similar sentence structures, particularly in the explanation of the second reason for the decline in handwriting. A more diverse range of sentence structures, including compound-complex sentences or inversion, could enhance the overall sophistication of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further elevate the essay’s grammatical range, consider incorporating compound-complex sentences and experimenting with sentence inversion for stylistic variation. Introduce subordination to create more intricate relationships between ideas, thereby enriching the overall structure.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay displays a commendable level of grammatical accuracy. The author effectively uses grammatical structures to convey ideas clearly. However, there are a few instances where articles or prepositions could be fine-tuned for precision. For example, in the phrase "innovated the way people work and communicate," the article "the" before "way" might be omitted for smoother flow. Additionally, the sentence "The first argument for my statement is the environmental considerations" could benefit from a preposition after "environmental," such as "The first argument for my statement is the consideration of the environment."
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to the use of articles and prepositions. Consider revising sentences where articles may be unnecessary or where prepositions could be added for clarity. A thorough proofreading, specifically focusing on these elements, will further refine the grammatical accuracy of the essay. Additionally, use complex sentence structures judiciously to maintain clarity and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and sentence structures. To elevate it to a higher band score, focus on refining grammatical nuances and introducing more varied sentence structures.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary digital age, it is evident that the practice of handwriting with a pen, pencil, or brush has become increasingly rare. This shift can be attributed to various factors, and I consider it to be predominantly positive.

The first of these is the proliferation of electronic devices such as smartphones, computers, and tablets, which have revolutionized the way people work and communicate. Undoubtedly, the convenience of text messaging and typing has made it the preferred mode of communication for many individuals. This has reduced the need for manual writing, which may be perceived as cumbersome and time-consuming in contrast.

The second reason lies in the changing educational practices. Due to the integration of technology in education, students are now encouraged to use digital devices for note-taking and completing assignments. Some educational institutions have even embraced a ‘paperless’ approach, providing tablets and laptops for students to use at school. Consequently, this shift has diminished the emphasis on manual writing in academic settings, as students no longer necessarily need to rely on paper or pens for their learning and assessments.

From my perspective, the primary rationale supporting my assertion is that by choosing digital formats, individuals can contribute to environmental considerations. It is evident that typing enables more rapid note-taking, editing, and information sharing. The ease of editing, spell-checking, portability, and information sharing provides greater convenience compared to physical handwritten notes or documents.

To conclude, the decline in writing by hand can be explained by technological development and modern learning approaches in education. Considering the benefits in terms of the environment and convenience, I believe that this shift is desirable.

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