If the product is good and meets customer needs, then people will buy it and advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that the high quality and applicability of a product will encourage to buy it and, therefore, advertising is needlessly. In my opinion, while I agree that customers tend to buy top-grade and useful products, I also think that advertising plays an important role in attracting customers' purchase.

On the one hand, good and applicable products will make people to graviare to spend money on. To begin with, the majority of the population have a tendency to buy products which are deliberately inspected and are essential for their daily lives. Therefore, products which meet those requirements could be bought substantially. In addition, if goods are in poor quality, people will be unwilling to purchase as such commodities might threaten their health. Similarly, there is no point in affording to buy products which have no practical effect.

On the other hand, advertising is crucial in encouraging customers to invest money in several products because it helps to popularize such those among the public. However excellent the products may be, a little can be bought if their popularity is poor among people. Therefore, familiarizing the population with such goods by advertising through social medias or campaigns undoubtedly boost the sale of those products. As a result, this would lead to knock-on effect which causes those ones to be ubiquitous and, in turn, attract a sheer volume of customers to purchase.

In conclusion, although I believe that choice and fundamental products can potentially draw people's attention, advertising is indispensable in the sale of the products.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is believed that the high quality and applicability of a product will encourage to buy it and, therefore, advertising is needlessly." -> "It is believed that the high quality and applicability of a product will encourage purchase and, therefore, advertising is unnecessary."
Explanation: Replacing "encourage to buy it" with "encourage purchase" and "advertising is needlessly" with "advertising is unnecessary" corrects the grammatical structure and uses more precise, formal language.
"I also think that advertising plays an important role in attracting customers’ purchase." -> "I also believe that advertising plays a significant role in attracting customer purchases."
Explanation: Changing "customers’ purchase" to "customer purchases" corrects the possessive form, and "significant" is more formal than "important" in academic writing.
"good and applicable products will make people to graviare to spend money on" -> "good and applicable products will encourage people to spend money on them"
Explanation: "Graviare" is not a standard English word; "encourage" is the correct term. Also, "on" should be "on them" to correctly refer to the products.
"the majority of the population have a tendency to buy products which are deliberately inspected and are essential for their daily lives" -> "the majority of the population tend to purchase products that are carefully inspected and are essential for their daily lives"
Explanation: "Tend to purchase" is more formal than "have a tendency to buy," and "carefully inspected" is more precise than "deliberately inspected."
"Therefore, products which meet those requirements could be bought substantially." -> "Therefore, products that meet these requirements can be purchased substantially."
Explanation: "Products which" should be "products that" for grammatical correctness, and "can be purchased" is more formal than "could be bought."
"if goods are in poor quality, people will be unwilling to purchase as such commodities might threaten their health" -> "if goods are of poor quality, people may be unwilling to purchase as such products could pose health risks"
Explanation: "Of poor quality" is more precise than "in poor quality," and "pose health risks" is a more formal and scientifically accurate phrase than "threaten their health."
"there is no point in affording to buy products which have no practical effect" -> "there is no justification for purchasing products that have no practical effect"
Explanation: "Affording to buy" is incorrect; "justification for purchasing" is the correct phrase.
"However excellent the products may be, a little can be bought if their popularity is poor among people." -> "However excellent the products may be, they may not be purchased if they are not well-known among people."
Explanation: "A little can be bought" is vague and incorrect; "they may not be purchased" is clearer and more formal. Also, "not well-known" is more precise than "poor among people."
"familiarizing the population with such goods by advertising through social medias or campaigns undoubtedly boost the sale of those products" -> "advertising such products through social media campaigns undoubtedly boosts their sales"
Explanation: "Familiarizing the population" is awkward; "advertising such products" is more direct. "Boost" should be "boosts" for subject-verb agreement, and "social media campaigns" should be singular to match the singular verb.
"this would lead to knock-on effect which causes those ones to be ubiquitous and, in turn, attract a sheer volume of customers to purchase" -> "this could lead to a knock-on effect, causing those products to become ubiquitous and, subsequently, attracting a large volume of customers to purchase them"
Explanation: "Knock-on effect" is correct, but "those ones" is informal and unclear; "those products" is more precise. "Subsequently" is more formal than "in turn," and "a large volume" is more specific than "a sheer volume."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the necessity of advertising when a product is of high quality and meets customer needs. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position, acknowledging the importance of both product quality and advertising. The body paragraphs present arguments supporting both views, demonstrating a balanced approach. However, the conclusion could more explicitly restate the extent of agreement or disagreement, which would clarify the writer’s stance further.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the extent of their agreement or disagreement with the statement. They could use phrases like "I fully agree" or "I partially agree" to clarify their position more definitively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position, indicating that while quality products are important, advertising is also essential. This dual perspective is articulated well, particularly in the introduction and the body paragraphs. However, the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother, as the shift from discussing product quality to the role of advertising feels slightly abrupt.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the writer could use transitional phrases that signal a shift in focus, such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely," more effectively. Additionally, reinforcing their main argument in each paragraph would help maintain a consistent position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, such as the necessity of quality products for customer health and the role of advertising in increasing product visibility. However, some arguments could be more thoroughly developed. For instance, the mention of "social medias or campaigns" could benefit from specific examples or elaboration on how these methods effectively reach consumers.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for their ideas, the writer should aim to provide more specific examples and elaborate on how advertising strategies work. This could include discussing different advertising mediums or successful advertising campaigns that have led to increased sales for quality products.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay stays largely on topic, focusing on the relationship between product quality and the necessity of advertising. There are minor deviations, such as the phrase "affording to buy products which have no practical effect," which could be seen as somewhat tangential. However, the overall focus remains relevant to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the main argument. They could also avoid vague statements that do not contribute directly to the discussion, ensuring that each sentence adds value to their argument.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-rounded argument. By refining the conclusion, improving transitions, providing more specific examples, and ensuring every point remains tightly focused on the prompt, the writer can further enhance their score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first body paragraph discusses the importance of product quality, while the second addresses the role of advertising. This logical organization allows the reader to follow the argument effectively. However, some ideas within paragraphs could be better connected. For example, the transition from discussing product quality to the necessity of advertising could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each point made in a paragraph directly supports the main argument and transitions logically to the next point. Using linking phrases like "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "Moreover" can help create a more cohesive narrative.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to digest the information. However, the first body paragraph could benefit from clearer internal structure, as some sentences are lengthy and contain multiple ideas that could be broken down into simpler statements.
- How to improve: Aim for a clear structure within each paragraph by starting with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details, and concluding with a summary or transition to the next point. For instance, in the first body paragraph, consider breaking down the sentence about the population’s tendency to buy inspected products into two sentences for clarity. This will help maintain focus and improve readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "In addition," and "On the other hand," which help to signal shifts between different arguments. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied or precise. For example, phrases like "such those" are awkward and detract from the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeating "therefore," consider using alternatives like "as a result," "consequently," or "thus." Additionally, ensure that all phrases used are grammatically correct and contextually appropriate. Revising awkward phrases will enhance clarity and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, focusing on clearer transitions, internal paragraph structure, and varied cohesive devices will elevate the writing quality and potentially improve the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "high quality," "applicability," "essential," and "invest money." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "good and applicable products" could be diversified with synonyms or related terms to enhance the lexical range. Additionally, phrases like "knock-on effect" are effective, but the overall vocabulary could be more varied to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "products," alternatives like "goods," "items," or "merchandise" could be used. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary exercises focused on synonyms can help broaden the range of vocabulary used in future essays.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are notable instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "graviare to spend money on" is unclear and seems to be a misuse of the term "gravitate." The phrase "affording to buy" is also awkward; "affording" typically refers to having enough resources rather than the act of purchasing. Such imprecisions can confuse the reader and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, replacing "graviare" with "gravitate" or "tend" would enhance clarity. Additionally, reviewing common collocations and phrases in English could help the writer use vocabulary more effectively. Engaging in exercises that emphasize context and usage can also aid in improving precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that impact the overall impression of lexical resource. Words like "needlessly" (used as "needless") and "social medias" (should be "social media") are examples of spelling inaccuracies that detract from the essay’s professionalism. Additionally, "commodities" is correctly spelled, but the context in which it is used may not be appropriate, as "commodities" typically refer to raw materials or primary agricultural products rather than consumer goods.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a proofreading strategy that includes reading the essay aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Regular practice with writing exercises that focus on spelling can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Furthermore, reviewing the context in which certain words are used can ensure that the right terms are chosen for clarity and correctness.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Engaging in targeted vocabulary exercises, practicing precise usage, and implementing effective proofreading strategies will significantly enhance the overall quality of future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences (e.g., "In addition, if goods are in poor quality, people will be unwilling to purchase as such commodities might threaten their health.") and simple sentences (e.g., "In my opinion, while I agree that customers tend to buy top-grade and useful products…"). However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect structures, such as "good and applicable products will make people to graviare to spend money on," which detracts from the overall clarity and sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using conditional clauses and relative clauses more effectively. For instance, instead of saying "good and applicable products will make people to graviare to spend money on," a more effective structure could be "good and applicable products encourage people to spend money." Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence openings and transitions can help improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, "advertising is needlessly" should be "advertising is unnecessary," and "good and applicable products will make people to graviare to spend money on" contains incorrect verb usage and awkward phrasing. Furthermore, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas that could enhance readability, particularly in complex sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of infinitives. Practicing sentence rewriting and seeking feedback on specific grammatical structures can also be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review rules regarding comma usage, especially in compound and complex sentences. Regularly proofreading the essay for common errors before finalizing it can help catch mistakes that may have been overlooked.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, addressing these specific areas for improvement will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is believed that the high quality and applicability of a product will encourage people to buy it and, therefore, advertising is unnecessary. In my opinion, while I agree that customers tend to buy top-grade and useful products, I also think that advertising plays an important role in attracting customer purchases.

On the one hand, good and applicable products will encourage people to spend money on them. To begin with, the majority of the population has a tendency to buy products that are carefully inspected and are essential for their daily lives. Therefore, products that meet these requirements can be purchased substantially. In addition, if goods are of poor quality, people may be unwilling to purchase them, as such products could pose health risks. Similarly, there is no justification for purchasing products that have no practical effect.

On the other hand, advertising is crucial in encouraging customers to invest money in several products because it helps to popularize them among the public. However excellent the products may be, they may not be purchased if they are not well-known among people. Therefore, familiarizing the population with such goods by advertising through social media or campaigns undoubtedly boosts their sales. As a result, this could lead to a knock-on effect, causing those products to become ubiquitous and, subsequently, attracting a large volume of customers to purchase them.

In conclusion, although I believe that good and fundamental products can potentially draw people’s attention, advertising is indispensable in the sale of these products.