In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, a small number of people can earn extremely high salaries ,some people believe this is good for the country but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.This essay will discuss both the points of agreement and disadgreement with this perspective.
First of all, having people with salaries that are too high compared to the general level will create a serious gap between the rich and the poor and cause imbalance in society. From there, many social evils will appear such as the contempt of the higher classes for the lower classes or the price of goods increasing, making it impossible for people who earn less money to pay. This leads to the next problem: inflation. When realizing that there are more and more people with high salaries, stores will raise the price of everything far beyond the real value. At the same time, this will also reduce the harshness in recruiting employees of large companies.
On the other hand, we must respect talented people because they deserve to receive a high salary, reflecting their ability and hard work. In fact, there are jobs that pay by the hour and they have to work many hours continuously to get that amount of money. Not only that, nowadays, the more money people make, the more tax they have to pay, so the gap between low-income and high-income people has also been reduced.
Those are my thoughts on this issue after weighing the pros and cons. Personally, I appreciate paying according to each person's ability but there should be a balance and appropriate adjustment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"a small number of people can earn extremely high salaries" -> "a limited number of individuals earn significantly high salaries"
Explanation: Replacing "a small number of people can earn" with "a limited number of individuals earn" corrects the grammatical structure and uses "individuals" for a more formal tone. "Significantly high" is more precise than "extremely high," which can be seen as overly dramatic in academic writing.
"some people believe" -> "some individuals believe"
Explanation: Replacing "some people" with "some individuals" refines the language to a more formal academic tone, enhancing the precision of the subject.
"disadgreement" -> "disagreement"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "disadgreement" to "disagreement" ensures the accuracy of the text.
"having people with salaries that are too high" -> "the presence of individuals with salaries that are excessively high"
Explanation: "The presence of individuals" is more formal and precise than "having people," and "excessively high" is a more academic way to describe salaries that are unusually high.
"serious gap" -> "significant gap"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more academically appropriate term than "serious" when describing gaps in social or economic contexts.
"contempt of the higher classes for the lower classes" -> "contempt among the higher classes towards the lower classes"
Explanation: "Among" is more precise than "of" in this context, and "towards" is more formal than "for" when describing the direction of contempt.
"the price of goods increasing" -> "prices increasing"
Explanation: "Prices" is a more concise and formal term than "the price of goods," which is redundant in this context.
"making it impossible for people who earn less money to pay" -> "rendering it unaffordable for individuals with lower incomes"
Explanation: "Rendering it unaffordable" is a more formal expression than "making it impossible to pay," and "individuals with lower incomes" is more precise than "people who earn less money."
"stores will raise the price of everything far beyond the real value" -> "merchants will inflate prices significantly beyond their true value"
Explanation: "Merchants" is a more specific term than "stores," and "inflate prices" is a more precise term than "raise the price of everything," which is vague and overly broad.
"the harshness in recruiting employees of large companies" -> "the difficulty in recruiting employees for large companies"
Explanation: "The difficulty in recruiting" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the challenges faced by companies in hiring employees.
"we must respect talented people" -> "it is essential to recognize the value of talented individuals"
Explanation: "It is essential to recognize the value of" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express the importance of acknowledging talent.
"paying according to each person’s ability" -> "compensating individuals based on their abilities"
Explanation: "Compensating individuals based on their abilities" is more formal and precise than "paying according to each person’s ability," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"there should be a balance and appropriate adjustment" -> "there should be a balance and suitable adjustments"
Explanation: "Suitable adjustments" is more specific and formal than "appropriate adjustment," enhancing the precision of the recommendation.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding high salaries. The first paragraph discusses the negative implications of high salaries, such as the widening gap between the rich and poor and the potential for social unrest. The second paragraph presents the counterargument, emphasizing the value of talent and hard work, and how high salaries can reflect these attributes. However, while both views are mentioned, the discussion could benefit from more depth in exploring the implications of each perspective.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more specific examples and data to support each viewpoint. For instance, citing real-world instances of countries that have successfully managed high salaries or those that have struggled with income inequality would strengthen the argument. Additionally, a more thorough exploration of the consequences of both perspectives would provide a more balanced discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does present a personal opinion, indicating a preference for salaries to reflect individual ability while also suggesting a need for balance. However, the position could be clearer and more consistently articulated throughout the essay. The transition from discussing both views to stating a personal opinion is somewhat abrupt and lacks a strong concluding statement that ties back to the initial prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Using phrases such as "In my opinion" or "I believe" can help clarify the stance. Additionally, summarizing the key points made in the essay in relation to the personal opinion at the end would reinforce the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the social gap created by high salaries and the merit of rewarding talent. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the essay mentions inflation and social evils, it does not provide specific examples or statistics to substantiate these claims. The discussion of taxation is a good point but could be expanded with more detail on how it affects income distribution.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or studies that illustrate the points made. For instance, discussing how high salaries in certain industries have led to economic growth or social issues in specific countries could provide a stronger foundation for the arguments. Additionally, elaborating on how taxation impacts income inequality would enhance the depth of the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s requirement to discuss both views and provide a personal opinion. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion on taxation could be better tied back to the main argument about high salaries.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of high salaries. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. Additionally, using topic sentences that clearly relate to the prompt can help keep the essay on track.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, improvements in depth, clarity, and support would enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the two opposing views. The body paragraphs are organized to discuss the negative implications of high salaries first, followed by the positive aspects. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing social imbalance to inflation feels abrupt and could benefit from a clearer connection or transitional phrase to guide the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" to better link ideas. Additionally, explicitly stating how one point leads to the next can help clarify the relationships between arguments. For example, after discussing the gap between rich and poor, you could introduce inflation by stating, "This widening gap can lead to inflation as…"
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph addressing a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses the negative consequences of high salaries, while the second presents the counterargument. However, the introduction could be more clearly defined as a separate paragraph, and the conclusion should be more distinct from the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph is clearly separated and that the introduction and conclusion are distinct. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion. For instance, you could explicitly label the conclusion with a phrase like "In conclusion," to signal the end of the discussion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "on the other hand" and "first of all," which help in contrasting views and organizing points. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "From there" is vague and does not clearly indicate the relationship between the ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Additionally," "Consequently," or "As a result" to connect ideas more effectively. Also, ensure that each cohesive device used is appropriate for the context; for example, instead of "From there," you might say "As a result of this disparity," to clarify the cause-and-effect relationship.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "imbalance," "social evils," and "contempt." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the phrase "high salaries" appears multiple times without variation, which could detract from the overall richness of the language. Additionally, terms like "talented people" and "hard work" could be expanded with synonyms or more descriptive phrases to enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "high salaries," alternatives like "elevated incomes," "lucrative pay," or "substantial earnings" could be employed. Engaging with a thesaurus or practicing vocabulary exercises can help expand the range of expressions used.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that could lead to misunderstandings. For example, the phrase "the harshness in recruiting employees" is unclear and does not effectively convey the intended meaning. The term "social evils" is also vague; it would benefit from more specific examples or context to clarify what is meant.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim to clarify ambiguous phrases. Instead of "harshness in recruiting," a clearer expression might be "the difficulty in attracting qualified candidates." Providing specific examples when mentioning "social evils" would also improve clarity, such as specifying "crime rates" or "social unrest" as potential outcomes of income disparity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "disadgreement," which should be "disagreement." Additionally, punctuation issues, such as the lack of spaces after commas and periods, detract from the overall presentation of the text. These errors can disrupt the reader’s understanding and detract from the professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in proofreading practices, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, focusing on commonly misspelled words and practicing their correct forms can help reduce errors. Regular writing practice and feedback from peers or instructors can also aid in identifying and correcting spelling mistakes.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary, enhancing precision, and improving spelling will help elevate the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For example, simple sentences such as "This leads to the next problem: inflation." are used alongside more complex structures like "From there, many social evils will appear such as the contempt of the higher classes for the lower classes or the price of goods increasing." However, the essay largely relies on straightforward sentence forms, which limits the overall complexity and variety. The use of conjunctions is present, but the essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and the incorporation of conditional or relative clauses to enhance the complexity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, instead of starting sentences with the subject, they could begin with adverbial phrases or clauses (e.g., "Despite the high salaries, many workers struggle to make ends meet."). Additionally, incorporating more varied conjunctions and transition phrases would help in creating smoother connections between ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, there is a missing space after the comma in "high salaries ,some people believe," and the sentence "This essay will discuss both the points of agreement and disadgreement with this perspective." contains a spelling error ("disadgreement" should be "disagreement"). Furthermore, the use of commas is inconsistent, leading to run-on sentences that can confuse the reader, such as in "high salaries ,some people believe this is good for the country but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work to catch spelling and punctuation errors. Practicing the rules of comma usage, particularly in compound sentences, will help clarify meaning. For example, the sentence could be revised to: "In many countries, a small number of people can earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe this is good for the country, while others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level." This revision not only corrects punctuation but also improves the flow of ideas. Additionally, reviewing subject-verb agreement and tense consistency will further strengthen the grammatical accuracy of the essay.

Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, focusing on enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical and punctuation accuracy will help raise the band score in future writing tasks.

Bài sửa mẫu

In many countries, a limited number of individuals earn extremely high salaries. Some individuals believe that this is beneficial for the country, while others think that governments should not permit salaries to exceed a certain level. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion.

First of all, the presence of individuals with salaries that are excessively high compared to the general level creates a significant gap between the rich and the poor, leading to an imbalance in society. Consequently, various social issues may arise, such as contempt among the higher classes towards the lower classes and the increasing prices of goods, rendering them unaffordable for individuals with lower incomes. This situation contributes to inflation. As more individuals earn high salaries, stores may raise prices far beyond their actual value. Additionally, this can complicate the difficulty in recruiting employees for large companies, as potential workers may seek better compensation elsewhere.

On the other hand, it is essential to recognize the value of talented individuals, as they deserve to receive high salaries that reflect their abilities and hard work. In fact, there are jobs that pay by the hour, requiring individuals to work many hours continuously to earn a substantial income. Moreover, nowadays, the more money people make, the higher the taxes they pay, which helps to narrow the gap between low-income and high-income individuals.

After weighing the pros and cons, I believe that compensating individuals based on their abilities is important; however, there should be a balance and suitable adjustments to ensure that society remains equitable.