In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional food while others believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional food while others believe that fast food is a good choice.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have differing views about whether to enjoy traditional foods or choose fast foods. While the culture exchange is becoming popular regularly, I would argue that the respect of special foods in each countries is significant important.
On one side of argument, there are many people who claim that fast foods is a great choice to meet demand consumers. To accommodate multicultural society, this is a necessary way to develop the economic of country through foreigners or negative person who want to experiment new foods. As a result, MC Donal was succeeded to promote campaign that had a massive number of fast food restaurants were constructed around the world. This label is more popular with consumers from many countries.
However, I would be inclined to argue that the traditional foods actually become a distinct culture of each countries. Therefore, the traditional food will have especially flavor and different from any countries, they seem the beauty of national. Additionally, this is also attracted international visitors to go there to enjoy. For example, Pho is a famous food in Vietnam with great tasty so when said about Pho, people will absolutely think of the Vietnam such as an evident truth.
In conclusion, the essay supports the idea that the preservation of national culture and try to promote traditional foods for international friends.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"significant important" -> "significantly important"
Explanation: "Significant important" is redundant. "Significantly important" is more precise and grammatically correct. -
"fast foods is" -> "fast food is"
Explanation: "Fast foods" is a plural noun, so it should be paired with the singular verb "is." -
"meet demand consumers" -> "meet consumer demand"
Explanation: Rearranging the phrase to "meet consumer demand" improves clarity and aligns with formal language conventions. -
"economic of country" -> "economic status of the country"
Explanation: "Economic of country" lacks specificity and clarity. "Economic status of the country" provides a clearer description. -
"through foreigners or negative person" -> "by foreigners or individuals interested in trying new foods"
Explanation: "Through foreigners or negative person" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Replacing it with "by foreigners or individuals interested in trying new foods" enhances clarity and formal tone. -
"experiment new foods" -> "try new foods"
Explanation: "Experiment new foods" is not idiomatic. "Try new foods" is a more natural and suitable phrase in this context. -
"MC Donal was succeeded" -> "McDonald’s has succeeded"
Explanation: "MC Donal" is misspelled and grammatically incorrect. "McDonald’s has succeeded" corrects the spelling and structure. -
"massive number of fast food restaurants were constructed" -> "a multitude of fast food restaurants were established"
Explanation: "Massive number of fast food restaurants were constructed" can be replaced with "a multitude of fast food restaurants were established" for a more formal and precise description. -
"This label is more popular with consumers from many countries." -> "This brand is favored by consumers worldwide."
Explanation: "This label is more popular with consumers from many countries." is awkwardly phrased. "This brand is favored by consumers worldwide." is a smoother and more precise expression. -
"traditional foods actually become a distinct culture of each countries" -> "traditional foods constitute a distinctive aspect of each country’s culture"
Explanation: "Traditional foods actually become a distinct culture of each countries" lacks clarity and grammatical accuracy. "Traditional foods constitute a distinctive aspect of each country’s culture" is more precise and grammatically correct. -
"the traditional food will have especially flavor and different from any countries" -> "traditional foods possess unique flavors distinct from those of other countries"
Explanation: "The traditional food will have especially flavor and different from any countries" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Traditional foods possess unique flavors distinct from those of other countries" offers a clearer and more formal expression. -
"they seem the beauty of national" -> "they represent the national beauty"
Explanation: "They seem the beauty of national" is unclear and lacks proper grammar. "They represent the national beauty" conveys the intended meaning more effectively. -
"this is also attracted international visitors" -> "this also attracts international visitors"
Explanation: "This is also attracted international visitors" is grammatically incorrect. "This also attracts international visitors" corrects the verb tense and maintains formal language. -
"to go there to enjoy" -> "to visit and enjoy"
Explanation: "To go there to enjoy" is repetitive. "To visit and enjoy" is a more concise and appropriate expression. -
"For example, Pho is a famous food in Vietnam with great tasty" -> "For example, Pho, a renowned Vietnamese dish, is known for its exquisite flavor"
Explanation: "Pho is a famous food in Vietnam with great tasty" is awkwardly phrased and lacks precision. "For example, Pho, a renowned Vietnamese dish, is known for its exquisite flavor" provides a clearer and more sophisticated description. -
"so when said about Pho" -> "thus, when mentioning Pho"
Explanation: "So when said about Pho" is grammatically incorrect. "Thus, when mentioning Pho" corrects the structure and maintains formal language. -
"people will absolutely think of the Vietnam such as an evident truth" -> "people immediately associate it with Vietnam as an undeniable truth"
Explanation: "People will absolutely think of the Vietnam such as an evident truth" is awkwardly phrased. "People immediately associate it with Vietnam as an undeniable truth" is more precise and formal. -
"the preservation of national culture and try to promote traditional foods" -> "preserving national culture and promoting traditional foods"
Explanation: "The preservation of national culture and try to promote traditional foods" lacks parallelism. "Preserving national culture and promoting traditional foods" maintains parallel structure and formal tone.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives, discussing the popularity of fast food and the significance of traditional foods in different cultures. It acknowledges the growing trend of international fast food but emphasizes the importance of preserving traditional cuisines.
- How to improve: While the essay briefly touches upon both views, it could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the advantages and drawbacks of each. Providing specific examples and counterarguments would enhance the depth of analysis.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring the preservation and promotion of traditional foods. The writer consistently argues that traditional foods represent the distinct culture of each country and should be valued accordingly.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, the writer could reinforce their stance by elaborating on why traditional foods hold cultural significance and how their preservation contributes to cultural identity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the popularity of fast food and the importance of preserving traditional foods. However, these ideas lack development and support, with limited elaboration and few examples provided.
- How to improve: To enhance the quality of ideas, the writer should expand on each point with relevant details, examples, and explanations. Incorporating research or personal experiences could add depth and credibility to the arguments presented.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the contrast between traditional foods and fast food, although some points could be more closely related to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every argument directly relates to the topic of traditional versus fast food. Avoiding tangential discussions or unrelated examples will help keep the essay cohesive and relevant to the prompt.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
- Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion summarizing the author’s opinion. However, there are some issues with coherence. For instance, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother, and some ideas are introduced abruptly without proper development.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one and that transitions between ideas are seamless. Use topic sentences to introduce main points in each paragraph, and provide sufficient supporting details and examples to develop your arguments cohesively.
- Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but they are uneven in length and lack consistency in structure. While there is an attempt to separate different ideas into paragraphs, some paragraphs contain multiple points, leading to confusion.
- How to improve: Aim for more uniformity in paragraph length and structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or argument, clearly expressed in a topic sentence. Ensure that there is a logical progression from one paragraph to the next, with smooth transitions between them.
- Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases (e.g., "on one side," "however," "in conclusion"). However, there is limited variety, and the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened.
- How to improve: Increase the variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to improve coherence. Include a mix of conjunctions, transitional adverbs, and pronouns to connect ideas within and between sentences. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and appropriately to maintain coherence and clarity.
Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents coherent arguments, there is room for improvement in organizing information logically, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, thereby enhancing its overall effectiveness.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There are some instances where varied vocabulary is employed, such as "culture exchange," "distinct culture," and "preservation of national culture." However, the vocabulary lacks consistency and depth in exploration. Some concepts are expressed using basic or repetitive language, like "fast foods," "traditional foods," and "each countries."
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, aim for more diverse vocabulary throughout the essay. Instead of repetitive phrases like "traditional foods," consider synonyms or descriptive phrases that capture the essence of traditional cuisine. Additionally, incorporate specialized vocabulary related to the topic, such as terms for culinary traditions or globalization.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage varies throughout the essay. There are instances where words are used accurately, such as "multicultural society" and "distinct culture." However, some imprecise language choices are noticeable, like "negative person" (unclear) and "successful to promote campaign" (awkward phrasing).
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary precisely to convey intended meanings. Avoid vague or ambiguous terms like "negative person" by providing specific descriptions or using more appropriate terminology. Additionally, refine phrasing to ensure clarity and coherence in expressing ideas.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a mix of correct and incorrect spelling. Most of the basic words are spelled accurately, but there are notable errors throughout the text, such as "MC Donal" (McDonald’s), "economic of country" (economy of the country), and "Pho" (should be capitalized as it is a proper noun).
- How to improve: Enhance spelling accuracy by proofreading carefully and utilizing spell-checking tools. Pay attention to proper nouns, brand names, and technical terms to ensure they are spelled correctly. Additionally, practice spelling words that are commonly misspelled or unfamiliar to strengthen accuracy over time.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple and complex constructions. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures further. For instance, the essay predominantly employs simple sentences, with occasional complex structures. More variety could be introduced by incorporating compound or compound-complex sentences. Additionally, the transitions between sentences could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance the essay’s sophistication and coherence, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. Introduce compound and compound-complex sentences to provide complexity and clarity to your ideas. Ensure that transitions between sentences are seamless, facilitating a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are several instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the essay. For example, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("the respect of special foods in each countries is significant important") and article usage ("a massive number of fast food restaurants were constructed"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("To accommodate multicultural society, this is a necessary way…").
- How to improve: Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by paying attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation rules. Proofread your essay carefully to identify and correct errors. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to address areas of weakness. Reviewing grammar guides and practicing writing exercises targeting specific grammatical structures can also be beneficial.
Bài sửa mẫu
People have differing views about whether to enjoy traditional foods or opt for fast food. While cultural exchange is becoming increasingly common, I would argue that respecting the special foods in each country is significantly important.
On one side of the argument, many people claim that fast food is a great choice to meet consumer demand. To accommodate multicultural societies, this is seen as a necessary way to develop the economic status of a country and cater to foreigners or individuals interested in trying new foods. Consequently, McDonald’s has succeeded in promoting campaigns that have led to a multitude of fast food restaurants being established around the world. This brand is favored by consumers worldwide.
However, I would be inclined to argue that traditional foods actually constitute a distinctive aspect of each country’s culture. Therefore, traditional foods possess unique flavors distinct from those of other countries; they represent the national beauty. Additionally, this also attracts international visitors to visit and enjoy. For example, Pho, a renowned Vietnamese dish, is known for its exquisite flavor, thus when mentioning Pho, people immediately associate it with Vietnam as an undeniable truth.
In conclusion, the essay supports the idea that preserving national culture and promoting traditional foods are important endeavors for any country, as they not only maintain cultural identity but also attract international visitors.
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