In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss the both statements.  Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your writing must be between 180 and 200 words.

In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss the both statements. 
Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your writing must be between 180 and 200 words.

In order to succeed in sports, some people believe that physical strength is a must. Others argue that mental strength is more important. Let's discuss both viewpoints.

Physical strength is undoubtedly essential in sports. It enables athletes to perform complex techniques with precision and endure high-intensity training and competitions. For instance, long-distance runners need endurance, while basketball players require strong jumping ability.

However, mental strength is equally crucial. It helps athletes overcome pressure and stress during competitions, cultivate perseverance and self-confidence, and prevent them from giving up when facing challenges. For example, football players need confidence to take important penalty kicks, and swimmers need perseverance to complete long distances.

The relationship between physical and mental strength is interconnected. Good physical health boosts self-confidence, while a strong mindset enhances training performance. Therefore, both aspects should be developed harmoniously.

In conclusion, success in sports depends on a combination of physical and mental strength. Athletes should strive to improve both to achieve their full potential."

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Let’s discuss both viewpoints." -> "Let us discuss both perspectives."
   Explanation: Replacing "Let’s" with "Let us" formalizes the tone, and "perspectives" is a more academic term than "viewpoints," which is more commonly used in formal writing.

2. "It enables athletes to perform complex techniques with precision" -> "It allows athletes to execute complex techniques with precision"
   Explanation: "Allows" is more formal than "enables," and "execute" is a more precise verb choice than "perform" in the context of sports, emphasizing the action of carrying out techniques.

3. "endure high-intensity training and competitions" -> "withstand high-intensity training and competitions"
   Explanation: "Withstand" is a more precise term than "endure" in the context of sports, implying a stronger ability to cope with challenges.

4. "cultivate perseverance and self-confidence" -> "develop perseverance and self-confidence"
   Explanation: "Develop" is a more formal and precise term than "cultivate" in this context, indicating the growth of these qualities.

5. "prevent them from giving up" -> "deter them from abandoning"
   Explanation: "Deter" is more formal and precise than "prevent" in this context, and "abandoning" is a more formal synonym for "giving up."

6. "boosts self-confidence" -> "enhances self-confidence"
   Explanation: "Enhances" is a more formal synonym for "boosts," aligning better with academic style.

7. "a strong mindset enhances training performance" -> "a robust mindset improves training performance"
   Explanation: "Robust" is a more precise and formal adjective than "strong" in this context, and "improves" is a more specific verb than "enhances" in describing the impact on performance.

8. "should strive to improve both" -> "should endeavor to enhance both"
   Explanation: "Endeavor" is a more formal verb than "strive," and "enhance" is a more precise term than "improve" in the context of developing skills or qualities.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the importance of physical strength and mental strength in sports. However, it does not fully explore the nuances of the debate, such as the contexts in which one may be more important than the other. The essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion that weighs the two perspectives against each other more thoroughly. For example, while it mentions that both strengths are important, it fails to delve into scenarios where one might outweigh the other significantly.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint and provide more detailed examples that illustrate these points. Including a brief analysis of situations where either physical or mental strength might be prioritized would also strengthen the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position by concluding that both physical and mental strengths are necessary for success in sports. However, the position could be more assertively articulated throughout the essay. The introduction suggests a discussion of both viewpoints, but the conclusion could reinforce a stronger stance on whether one is more critical than the other, or if they are equally important.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer should consistently refer back to their main argument throughout the essay. This can be achieved by restating the importance of both strengths in each paragraph and ensuring that the conclusion not only summarizes but also emphasizes the writer’s stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about physical and mental strength but lacks depth in their development. While it mentions examples such as long-distance runners and football players, these examples are not sufficiently elaborated upon. The writer does not explain how these examples directly relate to the argument being made, which weakens the overall support for the ideas presented.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, rather than simply stating that "football players need confidence," the writer could elaborate on a specific instance where mental strength directly influenced a game’s outcome, thereby providing a more compelling argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the roles of physical and mental strength in sports. However, it occasionally strays into general statements that do not directly address the prompt, such as the assertion that "good physical health boosts self-confidence." This could distract from the main focus of the essay.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the discussion of physical and mental strength in sports. Avoiding generalizations and instead tying all statements back to the central theme of the essay will help keep the writing relevant and on-topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt but requires more depth, clarity, and focus to achieve a higher band score. Expanding on ideas, providing detailed examples, and maintaining a clear position throughout will significantly enhance the quality of the response. Additionally, ensuring that the essay meets the word count requirement is crucial for achieving a better score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two viewpoints. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the discussion: the first paragraph focuses on physical strength, the second on mental strength, and the third discusses the interrelationship between the two. This logical progression allows the reader to follow the argument easily. For example, the transition from discussing physical strength to mental strength is smooth, maintaining coherence throughout.
  • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, consider adding transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas between paragraphs. For instance, after discussing mental strength, a sentence could be added to summarize the key points before introducing the relationship between the two types of strength. This would reinforce the connections and provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific argument. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the details of physical and mental strength. The conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion. However, the body paragraphs could be more balanced in length; the paragraph on physical strength is slightly longer than the one on mental strength, which may give an impression of bias.
  • How to improve: Aim for a more balanced approach by ensuring that each body paragraph contains a similar amount of information. This can be achieved by elaborating on the mental strength paragraph with additional examples or explanations. Additionally, consider starting each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, which will help guide the reader.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "for instance," and "therefore," which help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. These devices are used appropriately and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. For example, "however" effectively contrasts the two viewpoints, while "therefore" summarizes the conclusion well.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using phrases like "on the other hand," "in addition," or "conversely" can enhance the richness of the text and provide more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also improve cohesion; for instance, using relative clauses or different conjunctions can create a more sophisticated flow.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively addressing the prompt while maintaining a logical structure. With minor adjustments in transitional phrases, paragraph balance, and the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "physical strength," "mental strength," "endurance," and "perseverance" being effectively used. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the phrases "physical strength" and "mental strength," which are used multiple times without variation. Additionally, the use of phrases like "succeed in sports" and "perform complex techniques" could be expanded to include synonyms or related terms to enhance lexical variety.
  • How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related concepts. For example, instead of repeating "physical strength," you could use "athletic prowess" or "bodily strength." Similarly, "mental strength" could be varied with terms like "psychological resilience" or "cognitive fortitude." Incorporating more diverse vocabulary will enrich the essay and demonstrate a broader lexical resource.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where precision could be enhanced. For example, the phrase "perform complex techniques with precision" could be more specific about what techniques are being referred to, as this would clarify the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Additionally, the term "high-intensity training" is somewhat vague; specifying the type of training or the sports involved would provide greater clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, focus on providing specific examples and context for the vocabulary used. Instead of saying "perform complex techniques," you could specify "execute intricate maneuvers in gymnastics." This not only clarifies the meaning but also showcases a more sophisticated use of vocabulary.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is free from spelling errors, indicating a good level of spelling accuracy. Words like "endurance," "confidence," and "perseverance" are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the writing.
  • How to improve: While spelling is currently accurate, it is beneficial to maintain this standard by regularly practicing spelling through writing exercises and reading. Engaging with a variety of texts can also help reinforce correct spelling and familiarize you with more complex vocabulary.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs a reasonable range of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and contextual clarity. By diversifying vocabulary, providing specific examples, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the overall quality of the writing can be enhanced, potentially leading to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "The relationship between physical and mental strength is interconnected" showcases an ability to convey nuanced ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay includes a mix of simple and compound sentences, such as "Physical strength is undoubtedly essential in sports," which helps maintain clarity and engagement. The use of phrases like "for instance" and "however" effectively transitions between ideas, contributing to the overall coherence of the argument.
  • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex grammatical forms, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If an athlete possesses both strengths, they are more likely to succeed") or varying the placement of clauses (e.g., "While physical strength is important, mental resilience often determines an athlete’s success"). This will enhance the essay’s sophistication and demonstrate a broader command of grammatical structures.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "physical strength is a must" is colloquial; a more formal alternative could be "is essential." Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and list items. However, the phrase "Let’s discuss both viewpoints" could be seen as informal and might disrupt the academic tone of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and maintain a formal tone, replace colloquial expressions with more academic language. For instance, instead of "Let’s discuss," consider using "This essay will discuss." Additionally, ensure that all sentences are complete and clear, avoiding any potential ambiguity. Regular practice with complex sentence constructions and formal writing styles can help solidify these skills.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the argument, but there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision to achieve an even higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In order to succeed in sports, some people believe that physical strength is a must. Others argue that mental strength is more important. Let us discuss both perspectives.

Physical strength is undoubtedly essential in sports. It enables athletes to perform complex techniques with precision and withstand high-intensity training and competitions. For instance, long-distance runners need endurance, while basketball players require strong jumping ability.

However, mental strength is equally crucial. It helps athletes overcome pressure and stress during competitions, develop perseverance and self-confidence, and deter them from abandoning their efforts when facing challenges. For example, football players need confidence to take important penalty kicks, and swimmers need perseverance to complete long distances.

The relationship between physical and mental strength is interconnected. Good physical health enhances self-confidence, while a robust mindset improves training performance. Therefore, both aspects should be developed harmoniously.

In conclusion, success in sports depends on a combination of physical and mental strength. Athletes should endeavor to enhance both to achieve their full potential.