In the future, no one will buy printed books or newspapers because they can read anything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the future, no one will buy printed books or newspapers because they can read anything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
For development quick of technology, their life has become more convenient and easy, especially receiving information and knowledge. Only with a smartphone connected the Internet, people can research to information resources, books and magazines from surrounding in the world. This led to the questions: Will printed newspapers and books still have a place in the future? or be replaced completely by in the digital age? Although reading online is popular nowadays, I believe that printed newspapers and books still have value and special appeal that technology does not replace completely.
Firstly, printed newspapers and books bring an experienced reading that it is more difference and deep than electronic types of equipments. When reading a books or newspaper, readers can focus and feel slow content, avoid distracting like advertisements and notifications. According to the research, reading on the paper increase memorise ability and focus rather than reading on the screen phone. With individuals who love reading, turning the pages of a book, or highlighting parts was an experience that was not replaced by technology.
Secondly, printed newspapers and books had value and memory. An old newspapers or a favorite book kept that can be a priceless asset about mental face. It brings not only information but also contains memories, connecting emotion with the reader. Moreover, books can be gifts and souvenirs through generations. This created sustainable value that the digital did not bring. In addition, reading on screen for the long time, it can be harmful to health, especially eyes. Electronic equiqments often emits green light, one of the reasons that it causes stress and affects sleep. Reading books helps decline this harmful, bringing relax and protecting is more good. For this reason, printed newspapers and books are also the most ideal choices.
Conclusion, reading online is increasingly popular in modern society, but values mental and health benefits that printed newspaper and books brings still very important. Therefore, I think that, in the future, printed newspapers and books will coexist with the digital platforms.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"For development quick of technology" -> "The rapid development of technology"
Explanation: "The rapid development of technology" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea, avoiding the awkward and incorrect phrase "For development quick of technology." -
"their life has become more convenient and easy" -> "their lives have become more convenient and easier"
Explanation: "Lives" should be plural to match the generalization implied by "their," and "easier" is the comparative form needed to correctly describe the change in ease. -
"Only with a smartphone connected the Internet" -> "Only with a smartphone connected to the Internet"
Explanation: The preposition "to" is the correct form to use with "connected" in this context, enhancing grammatical accuracy. -
"research to information resources" -> "research various information resources"
Explanation: "Research to" is incorrect; "research various information resources" is grammatically correct and clearer. -
"books and magazines from surrounding in the world" -> "books and magazines from around the world"
Explanation: "Surrounding in the world" is awkward and incorrect; "around the world" is the correct idiomatic expression. -
"Will printed newspapers and books still have a place in the future?" -> "Will printed newspapers and books still have a place in the future"
Explanation: The question should end with a question mark to indicate it is a question. -
"be replaced completely by in the digital age?" -> "be completely replaced by digital media in the digital age?"
Explanation: "Be replaced completely by in the digital age" is grammatically incorrect; "be completely replaced by digital media in the digital age" corrects this and clarifies the subject. -
"printed newspapers and books bring an experienced reading" -> "printed newspapers and books offer an enhanced reading experience"
Explanation: "Bring an experienced reading" is awkward and unclear; "offer an enhanced reading experience" is more precise and formal. -
"it is more difference and deep than" -> "it is more different and deeper than"
Explanation: "Difference" should be "different" for the correct adjective form, and "deep" should be "deeper" to match the comparative structure. -
"avoid distracting" -> "avoid distractions"
Explanation: "Distracting" should be the noun form "distractions" to match the context. -
"increase memorise ability" -> "improve memory"
Explanation: "Increase memorise ability" is awkward and incorrect; "improve memory" is the correct and more formal expression. -
"screen phone" -> "smartphone screen"
Explanation: "Screen phone" is informal and unclear; "smartphone screen" is the correct term. -
"An old newspapers or a favorite book kept that" -> "an old newspaper or a favorite book that"
Explanation: "Newspapers" should be singular "newspaper" when referring to a single instance, and "kept that" is redundant and awkward; "that" is sufficient. -
"contains memories, connecting emotion with the reader" -> "contains memories, evoking emotions in the reader"
Explanation: "Connecting emotion with the reader" is awkward and unclear; "evoking emotions in the reader" is more precise and formal. -
"reading on screen for the long time" -> "reading on screens for extended periods"
Explanation: "On screen for the long time" is informal and grammatically incorrect; "on screens for extended periods" is more formal and correct. -
"Electronic equiqments" -> "electronic devices"
Explanation: "EQUIPments" is a typographical error; "devices" is the correct term. -
"it can be harmful to health, especially eyes" -> "it can be detrimental to health, particularly the eyes"
Explanation: "Harmful" is vague; "detrimental" is more specific and formal. "Especially" is less formal than "particularly." -
"Reading books helps decline this harmful" -> "Reading books helps mitigate this harm"
Explanation: "Decline this harmful" is awkward and incorrect; "mitigate this harm" is grammatically correct and more formal. -
"reading online is increasingly popular in modern society" -> "online reading is increasingly popular in modern society"
Explanation: "Reading online" is redundant; "online reading" is more concise and formal. -
"values mental and health benefits" -> "values mental and health benefits"
Explanation: The phrase should be corrected to maintain parallel structure and grammatical consistency. -
"Conclusion, reading online is increasingly popular" -> "In conclusion, online reading is increasingly popular"
Explanation: "Conclusion" should be "In conclusion" for proper usage in academic writing, and "reading online" should be "online reading" for
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the potential decline of printed materials and the enduring value they hold. The introduction sets up the discussion effectively, posing the question of whether printed materials will be replaced. The writer acknowledges the popularity of online reading but argues for the continued relevance of printed books and newspapers. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement, as this is a key aspect of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly state their position regarding the extent of agreement or disagreement in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This could involve specifying whether they believe printed materials will completely coexist with digital formats or if they foresee a gradual decline.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that printed materials will continue to have value. However, the phrasing in some areas is ambiguous, particularly in the conclusion where the coexistence of printed and digital formats is mentioned without a strong stance on the future of printed materials. The use of phrases like "I believe" indicates a personal opinion, but the overall argument could be more assertive.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should consistently use assertive language throughout the essay. Instead of phrases like "I believe," the writer could use stronger statements such as "It is evident that…" or "Clearly, printed materials will continue to play a significant role…" This would enhance the conviction of the argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the value of printed materials, such as the immersive experience of reading and the emotional connection to physical books. However, some points lack depth and specific examples. For instance, while the essay mentions that reading on paper increases memorization, it does not provide a source or study to substantiate this claim, which weakens the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or studies to support claims. For instance, referencing a specific study that shows the cognitive benefits of reading on paper versus screens would add credibility. Additionally, expanding on the emotional connections by sharing personal anecdotes or historical examples could make the argument more relatable and compelling.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the value of printed materials versus digital formats. However, there are moments where the argument could be more focused. For example, the discussion about the health impacts of screen reading, while relevant, could be more directly tied back to the main argument about the future of printed materials.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly supports the central thesis. When introducing a new idea, such as health impacts, it should be clearly linked to how this reinforces the argument for the continued relevance of printed materials. A more structured approach, perhaps using clear topic sentences for each paragraph that relate back to the thesis, would help maintain focus throughout the essay.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, it could benefit from clearer articulation of the position, deeper support for ideas, and a more focused approach to maintaining relevance to the prompt.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that printed newspapers and books will continue to hold value despite the rise of digital media. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, posing a relevant question. The body paragraphs are organized around distinct points: the unique reading experience provided by printed materials and their emotional and health benefits. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the reading experience to the emotional value of printed materials feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more clearly. For example, after discussing the reading experience, a sentence like "In addition to the unique experience, printed materials also hold significant emotional value" could help bridge the two concepts. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to follow. However, the paragraphs could be more distinct in their development. For example, the second paragraph introduces multiple ideas about the emotional value of printed materials without fully developing each point, leading to a somewhat cluttered argument.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by detailed explanations and examples. Consider breaking down complex ideas into separate paragraphs. For instance, the discussion on health benefits could be a standalone paragraph, allowing for a more thorough exploration of that point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly" and "Secondly," to indicate the structure of the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "Moreover" is used, but there are few other linking words or phrases that could enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," and "As a result." Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can help maintain cohesion. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating "printed newspapers and books," you could use "these materials" or "they" in subsequent references to avoid redundancy and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving transitions, enhancing paragraph development, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher score in coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some effective word choices such as "convenient," "experience," and "priceless asset." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation, such as the frequent use of "printed newspapers and books" and "reading." Additionally, phrases like "quick of technology" and "surrounding in the world" are awkward and detract from the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeating "printed newspapers and books," alternatives like "physical publications" or "traditional reading materials" could be used. Furthermore, diversifying phrases related to reading, such as "perusing" or "engaging with literature," would enrich the text.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used effectively, there are notable instances of imprecise usage. For example, "an experienced reading" should be "an enriching reading experience," and "the digital did not bring" is vague and could be more clearly articulated as "digital formats do not provide." The phrase "turning the pages of a book" is somewhat effective, but the overall clarity suffers from awkward constructions.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. Using more specific terms can enhance the message. For instance, instead of "distracting like advertisements," it could be phrased as "distractions such as advertisements." Additionally, reviewing phrases for grammatical accuracy will help convey ideas more clearly.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "equiqments" (should be "equipment"), "memorise" (should be "memory"), and "decline this harmful" (should be "mitigate this harm"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch errors. Reading more widely can also improve spelling through exposure to correctly spelled words in context.
Overall, while the essay achieves a band score of 6 for Lexical Resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Reading books helps decline this harmful") and compound sentences ("Although reading online is popular nowadays, I believe that printed newspapers and books still have value"). However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences being either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. For instance, phrases like "For development quick of technology" and "printed newspapers and books had value and memory" reflect a lack of fluency and naturalness in expression. The use of complex structures is minimal, which restricts the overall effectiveness of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences, such as those that use subordinate clauses or varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "printed newspapers and books had value and memory," the writer could say, "printed newspapers and books not only hold significant value but also evoke cherished memories." Additionally, varying the sentence beginnings and using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences can create a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, "their life has become more convenient" should be "people’s lives have become more convenient," and "Only with a smartphone connected the Internet" is missing a preposition, which should read "Only with a smartphone connected to the Internet." Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences ("…that technology does not replace completely") and incorrect capitalization ("An old newspapers or a favorite book kept that can be a priceless asset about mental face"), detract from the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and prepositions. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common grammatical structures can help. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors is essential. The writer could benefit from reading their work aloud to catch awkward phrasing and errors, as this often highlights issues that may not be immediately apparent when reading silently.
In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument, the grammatical range and accuracy need significant improvement. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical precision, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing. Regular practice, feedback, and revision will be crucial in achieving a higher band score in this criterion.
Bài sửa mẫu
The rapid development of technology has made our lives more convenient and easier, particularly in terms of accessing information and knowledge. Only with a smartphone connected to the Internet can people research various information resources, including books and magazines from around the world. This raises the question: Will printed newspapers and books still have a place in the future, or will they be completely replaced by digital media in the digital age? Although online reading is increasingly popular nowadays, I believe that printed newspapers and books still possess unique value and appeal that technology cannot completely replace.
Firstly, printed newspapers and books offer an enhanced reading experience that is more different and deeper than that provided by electronic devices. When reading a book or newspaper, readers can focus and engage with the content at a slower pace, avoiding distractions such as advertisements and notifications. According to research, reading on paper improves memory and concentration compared to reading on a smartphone screen. For avid readers, turning the pages of a book or highlighting important sections is an experience that technology cannot replicate.
Secondly, printed newspapers and books hold significant value and evoke memories. An old newspaper or a cherished book can become a priceless asset that contributes to one’s mental well-being. They provide not only information but also contain memories, connecting emotions with the reader. Furthermore, books can serve as gifts and souvenirs passed down through generations, creating a sustainable value that digital media does not offer. Additionally, reading on screens for extended periods can be detrimental to health, particularly for the eyes. Electronic devices often emit blue light, which can lead to stress and disrupt sleep patterns. Reading books helps mitigate this harm, providing relaxation and better protection for one’s health. For these reasons, printed newspapers and books remain ideal choices.
In conclusion, while online reading is increasingly popular in modern society, the mental and health benefits that printed newspapers and books provide are still very important. Therefore, I believe that in the future, printed newspapers and books will coexist alongside digital platforms.