In the future, nobody will buy printed books or newspapers because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. While i agree that this opinion is somewhat justifiable, I believe that people can use smartphone to read news without paying printed newspapers.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that nobody will buy printed newspaper or books. First, we can read news everywhere or take some books for difficult, and smartphone is conveniet to carry. Like when you want to read the yesterday news, you can search on Google easily, so you have more time to do something and can save the news inside your smartphone. On the other hand, we will have eye pain due to UV rays from the phone when reading news on the device a lot. And the brain easily forgets and has to search for old news. So when they spend a lot on the device, your eyes will be tired. Althought the idea that nobody will buy printed newspapers is logical, i reckon that it can also many advantages

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"nobody will buy printed newspapers or books" -> "no one will purchase printed newspapers or books"
Explanation: "No one" is a more formal alternative to "nobody," and "purchase" is more precise than "buy" in an academic context.
"they will be able to read everything they want online without paying" -> "they will have access to all the information they desire online without incurring costs"
Explanation: "Have access to all the information they desire" is more formal and precise than "read everything they want," and "incurring costs" is a more formal way of saying "without paying."
"While i agree that this opinion is somewhat justifiable" -> "While I acknowledge that this perspective is somewhat justified"
Explanation: "I acknowledge" is more formal than "I agree," and "justified" is more academically appropriate than "justifiable" in this context.
"people can use smartphone to read news" -> "individuals can utilize their smartphones to access news"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "utilize their smartphones to access news" is more precise and formal than "use smartphone to read news."
"printed newspaper or books" -> "printed newspapers or books"
Explanation: "Newspapers" should be plural to match the plural subject "printed."
"First, we can read news everywhere or take some books for difficult" -> "First, we can access news anywhere or borrow books for difficult topics"
Explanation: "Access news anywhere" is more precise than "read news everywhere," and "borrow books for difficult topics" is clearer and more formal than "take some books for difficult."
"smartphone is conveniet to carry" -> "smartphones are convenient to carry"
Explanation: "Smartphones" should be plural to match the subject, and "convenient" should be spelled correctly as "convenient."
"Like when you want to read the yesterday news" -> "For instance, when you wish to access yesterday’s news"
Explanation: "For instance" is a more formal transitional phrase than "Like," and "access yesterday’s news" is more precise than "read the yesterday news."
"you can search on Google easily" -> "you can easily search on Google"
Explanation: "Easily" should precede the verb "search" for grammatical correctness.
"you have more time to do something and can save the news inside your smartphone" -> "you have more time to engage in other activities and can store the news on your smartphone"
Explanation: "Engage in other activities" is more formal than "do something," and "store the news on your smartphone" is more precise than "save the news inside your smartphone."
"we will have eye pain due to UV rays from the phone" -> "we may experience eye strain due to the UV radiation emitted by smartphones"
Explanation: "May experience eye strain" is more formal and accurate than "will have eye pain," and "UV radiation emitted by smartphones" is more precise than "UV rays from the phone."
"And the brain easily forgets and has to search for old news" -> "And the brain may forget and require searching for archived news"
Explanation: "May forget" is more tentative and formal than "easily forgets," and "require searching for archived news" is more precise and formal than "has to search for old news."
"So when they spend a lot on the device, your eyes will be tired" -> "Thus, prolonged use of the device may lead to eye fatigue"
Explanation: "Thus" is a more formal transitional word than "So," and "prolonged use of the device may lead to eye fatigue" is a more formal and scientifically accurate description than "when they spend a lot on the device, your eyes will be tired."
"Althought the idea that nobody will buy printed newspapers is logical" -> "Although the notion that no one will purchase printed newspapers is logical"
Explanation: "Although" is the correct spelling, and "notion" is more formal than "idea," and "purchase" is more precise than "buy."
"i reckon that it can also many advantages" -> "I believe that it also offers numerous advantages"
Explanation: "I believe" is more formal than "i reckon," and "offers numerous advantages" is grammatically correct and more formal than "can also many advantages."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the potential decline of printed newspapers and books due to the availability of online content. However, it does not fully explore the implications of the statement that "nobody will buy printed books or newspapers." The argument is somewhat one-sided, focusing primarily on the convenience of smartphones without adequately considering counterarguments or the potential reasons why printed materials might still hold value for some readers. For instance, the essay mentions that reading on smartphones can lead to eye strain but does not discuss the emotional or tactile benefits of reading printed materials.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly address both sides of the argument. This could include discussing the benefits of printed materials, such as the enjoyment of physical books, the lack of screen fatigue, and the cultural significance of newspapers. A more balanced approach would provide a deeper analysis of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat unclear position. The writer begins by agreeing with the notion that printed materials will decline but then shifts focus to the advantages of smartphones without clearly stating their stance on whether they believe printed materials will completely disappear. The use of phrases like "I believe that people can use smartphone" introduces ambiguity about the writer’s overall opinion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reiterate it throughout the essay. Using clear thesis statements and topic sentences can help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the position taken and reinforce the main arguments made.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the convenience of smartphones and the potential drawbacks of reading on screens. However, these ideas are not well-developed or supported with sufficient examples or evidence. For instance, the mention of "eye pain due to UV rays" lacks context and scientific backing, making it less persuasive. The argument about saving news on smartphones is also underexplored and could benefit from further elaboration.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. Incorporating statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes can help substantiate claims. Furthermore, each idea should be clearly linked back to the main argument to ensure coherence and depth.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but occasionally deviates into less relevant details, such as the mention of "searching for old news," which feels tangential to the main argument about the future of printed materials. This can distract from the central theme and weaken the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should outline their main points before drafting the essay and ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt. Regularly revisiting the essay prompt during writing can help keep the content relevant and on track.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on addressing all parts of the question more comprehensively, clarifying their position, supporting their ideas with relevant examples, and maintaining a strong focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, acknowledging the opposing viewpoint while also emphasizing the author’s belief in the continued relevance of printed materials. However, the logical organization is somewhat undermined by the abrupt transitions between ideas. For instance, the shift from discussing the convenience of smartphones to the potential drawbacks of reading on digital devices lacks a smooth transition, which can confuse the reader. Additionally, the conclusion is not clearly defined, leaving the reader without a strong summary of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to indicate the main idea. Furthermore, employing transitional phrases such as "In contrast," "Additionally," or "However," can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single point, and a definitive conclusion will also improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs but lacks clear separation and development of ideas. The first paragraph combines multiple ideas without distinct separation, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The second paragraph introduces new points but does not adequately develop them, leading to a lack of depth in the discussion.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples and explanations. For instance, the first paragraph could be dedicated to the advantages of digital reading, while the second could address the disadvantages. Ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and ends with a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument will enhance clarity and structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to contrast different viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and their use is sometimes awkward or incorrect, as seen in phrases like "can save the news inside your smartphone," which could be more clearly articulated. Additionally, the use of conjunctions and linking words is inconsistent, leading to a choppy reading experience.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using "Furthermore," "Moreover," and "In addition" can help to build upon ideas, while "Conversely," "Nevertheless," and "Despite this" can effectively introduce counterarguments. Practicing the use of these devices in context will lead to a more fluid and cohesive essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and effectiveness. Focusing on these areas will help the writer achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. Phrases like "nobody will buy printed newspapers or books" and "can save the news inside your smartphone" show an effort to convey ideas clearly. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive, particularly with the terms "newspapers" and "books," which could have been substituted with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "newspapers" and "books," they could use "print media," "publications," or "literature." Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary, such as "convenient" instead of "conveniet" (which is a spelling error), would elevate the essay’s lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "take some books for difficult" is unclear and does not convey a coherent idea. The use of "eye pain due to UV rays" is also misleading, as UV rays are not typically associated with screen use; rather, it would be more accurate to refer to "digital eye strain" or "fatigue from prolonged screen time."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. They could replace vague phrases with clearer alternatives, such as "reading on screens can lead to discomfort" instead of "eye pain due to UV rays." Additionally, ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct will aid in clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "conveniet" instead of "convenient," "Althought" instead of "Although," and "reckon that it can also many advantages," which is grammatically incorrect and unclear. These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or grammar-checking software can help identify and correct errors before submission. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can help catch mistakes that may be overlooked during silent reading.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary usage, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on correct spelling, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, such as "In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying." This sentence is straightforward but lacks complexity. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" indicates an attempt to structure the argument, but the overall sentence variety remains low. Additionally, the essay contains several run-on sentences, which detracts from clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying, "we can read news everywhere or take some books for difficult," the writer could say, "While we can read news everywhere, there are instances when printed books are necessary for more complex topics." Practicing the use of relative clauses and conditional sentences can also help diversify the writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "i agree" should be capitalized as "I agree," and "conveniet" is a misspelling of "convenient." The phrase "we will have eye pain due to UV rays from the phone when reading news on the device a lot" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "nobody will buy printed newspaper or books," where "newspaper" should be pluralized to "newspapers." Punctuation is also lacking; for example, there are no commas to separate clauses, which can lead to run-on sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as capitalization and spelling. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help identify mistakes. Furthermore, practicing sentence structure and punctuation rules, such as when to use commas, can enhance clarity. For example, breaking down longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones can improve readability and reduce the likelihood of grammatical errors.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Regular practice and revision will be key to making these improvements.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. While I agree that this opinion is somewhat justified, I believe that people can use smartphones to read news without purchasing printed newspapers.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that nobody will buy printed newspapers or books. First, we can access news anywhere or borrow books for difficult topics, and smartphones are convenient to carry. For instance, when you want to read yesterday’s news, you can easily search on Google, so you have more time to engage in other activities and can store the news on your smartphone. On the other hand, we may experience eye strain due to the UV radiation emitted by smartphones when reading news on the device a lot. And the brain may forget and require searching for archived news. Thus, prolonged use of the device may lead to eye fatigue. Although the notion that no one will purchase printed newspapers is logical, I believe that it also offers numerous advantages.