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in the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

in the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is deniable that reading documents have been gradually replaced by free online sources which are now quite popilar due to the outsbreak of the internet. Although it is argued that traditional books and newspapers will not be bought any longer, I still hold a belief that they have to be remained because of some reasons.
Although reading online can bring some obvious conviences such as time saving and flexible access on every corner of the world, its reliability in content quality cannot be completely assured like in printed documents. Clearly, books' or newspapers' content always filtered, credited, and published with a careful consideration made by publishers. However, it is sometimes impossible to do that with online reading sources due to the freedom in content posting which may be an optimum for cyber criminals.
Several internet lovers may defend the benefits of free online reading sources, printed books still bring certain benefits. Firstly, the massive knowledge source which has been accumulated throughout the mankind civilazation is mainly stored in written and printed documents. For instance, a huge amount of specialzed knowledge can only be found libraries or national storages because there may be economic or social damages if it is revealed to the public. Secondly, physically holding a printed book can help the reader easily take notes about the wanted insights and possibly avoid the dependence on the Internet access.
In conclusion, notwithstanding the benefits of free online reading, printed documents still bring certain conveniences which make them not completely replaced. If traditional books or newspapers disappear, there may be devastating damages to mankind's academic development.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It is deniable that reading documents have been gradually replaced" -> "It is undeniable that the consumption of written documents has gradually shifted"
    Explanation: Replacing "deniable" with "undeniable" strengthens the statement, and replacing "replaced" with "shifted" enhances precision in describing the transformation in how written documents are consumed.

  2. "free online sources which are now quite popilar" -> "free online sources, which are now widely popular"
    Explanation: Correcting the misspelling of "popular" and adding a comma after "sources" improves the sentence’s formality and readability.

  3. "outsbreak of the internet" -> "rise of the internet"
    Explanation: Changing "outsbreak" to "rise" enhances the accuracy and formality of the sentence, as it more appropriately describes the emergence of the internet.

  4. "they have to be remained because of some reasons" -> "they must be retained for several reasons"
    Explanation: Replacing "have to be remained" with "must be retained" and changing "because of some reasons" to "for several reasons" results in a more formal and concise expression.

  5. "conviences such as time saving" -> "conveniences such as time savings"
    Explanation: Correcting "conviences" to "conveniences" and "time saving" to "time savings" ensures grammatical accuracy and maintains a formal tone.

  6. "reliability in content quality cannot be completely assured like in printed documents" -> "reliability in content quality cannot be fully guaranteed as in printed documents"
    Explanation: Substituting "completely assured" with "fully guaranteed" and rephrasing the latter part of the sentence enhances formality and clarity.

  7. "books’ or newspapers’ content always filtered, credited, and published" -> "content in books or newspapers is consistently filtered, credited, and published"
    Explanation: Adjusting the structure and wording of the sentence improves clarity and maintains a more formal tone.

  8. "it may be an optimum for cyber criminals" -> "it may provide an opportunity for cyber criminals"
    Explanation: Replacing "an optimum" with "provide an opportunity" ensures a more accurate expression of the potential risk posed by online content.

  9. "Several internet lovers may defend the benefits" -> "While some enthusiasts of online content may defend its benefits"
    Explanation: Changing "Several internet lovers" to "While some enthusiasts of online content" introduces a more formal and nuanced expression.

  10. "mankind civilazation" -> "mankind’s civilization"
    Explanation: Correcting the misspelling "civilazation" to "civilization" and adding an apostrophe to "mankind’s" ensures proper grammar and punctuation.

  11. "specialzed knowledge can only be found libraries" -> "specialized knowledge can only be found in libraries"
    Explanation: Correcting the misspelling "specialzed" to "specialized" and adding "in" before "libraries" improves the sentence’s grammatical correctness.

  12. "may be devastating damages to mankind’s academic development" -> "may lead to devastating consequences for mankind’s academic development"
    Explanation: Changing "damages" to "consequences" and rephrasing the sentence improves precision and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "It is deniable that reading documents have been gradually replaced by free online sources which are now quite popilar due to the outsbreak of the internet."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: The introduction lacks clarity in presenting your stance on the topic. It’s essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the given statement in the introduction itself. This will provide a roadmap for your essay, guiding the reader on what to expect. For example, you could say, "While some argue that traditional books and newspapers will become obsolete due to the prevalence of free online sources, I firmly believe that they will continue to hold significance for various reasons."
    • Improved example: "While some argue that traditional books and newspapers will become obsolete due to the prevalence of free online sources, I firmly believe that they will continue to hold significance for various reasons. Now, let’s delve into the arguments supporting this perspective."
  2. Quoted text: "Several internet lovers may defend the benefits of free online reading sources, printed books still bring certain benefits."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: The connection between the ideas in this sentence is not entirely clear. It would be more effective to provide a smooth transition or a clearer link between the defense of online reading sources and the benefits of printed books. For instance, you could say, "While enthusiasts of online reading may argue for its benefits, it is crucial to recognize that printed books still offer distinct advantages."
    • Improved example: "While enthusiasts of online reading may argue for its benefits, it is crucial to recognize that printed books still offer distinct advantages. Now, let’s explore these advantages in detail."
  3. Quoted text: "If traditional books or newspapers disappear, there may be devastating damages to mankind’s academic development."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: The conclusion is somewhat abrupt, and the final sentence lacks a clear summary of the main points. A more effective conclusion should briefly recap your key arguments and restate your stance on the issue. For example, you could conclude by saying, "In conclusion, the enduring value of printed materials in preserving accumulated knowledge and fostering academic development highlights the necessity of maintaining traditional books and newspapers alongside digital sources."
    • Improved example: "In conclusion, the enduring value of printed materials in preserving accumulated knowledge and fostering academic development highlights the necessity of maintaining traditional books and newspapers alongside digital sources. This balanced approach ensures that we harness the benefits of both mediums for a comprehensive and enriched reading experience."

Overall, the essay presents relevant ideas but needs improvement in terms of clarity, coherence, and effective transitions between ideas. Enhancing the introduction and conclusion will contribute to a more cohesive and persuasive essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents a coherent structure with a clear overall progression. It introduces the topic, discusses advantages and disadvantages of online reading versus printed documents, and concludes with a stance. Cohesive devices are used fairly effectively, but some sentences lack seamless connection, leading to occasional mechanical use. Paragraphing is generally present but lacks logical flow at times.

How to improve: To enhance coherence, focus on refining the connection between sentences for a smoother flow. Ensure consistent use of cohesive devices to strengthen the link between ideas. Additionally, refine paragraphing for better logical organization, ensuring each paragraph maintains a clear central topic and contributes to the overall argumentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary throughout. There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary and some less common lexical items. However, there are instances where inaccuracies in word choice and collocation can be observed. Spelling and word formation errors occur, but they do not significantly hinder understanding. The essay presents ideas with an acceptable range of vocabulary but lacks precision in expression due to occasional inaccuracies.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource and move towards a higher band score, focus on refining the use of vocabulary. Aim for more precision in word choice and collocation. Work on using less common vocabulary more accurately and consistently. Additionally, pay closer attention to spelling and word formation to minimize errors and improve overall clarity.

The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to convey arguments with appropriate vocabulary, albeit with occasional errors. Strengthening vocabulary precision and accuracy will help elevate the lexical resource and overall band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is an attempt to use a variety of structures. However, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, though they rarely hinder communication. The essay lacks full flexibility and accuracy, and there are some instances where the meaning is distorted.

How to improve:

  1. Grammar and Punctuation: Pay careful attention to grammar and punctuation. While the errors do not severely impede communication, refining these aspects will enhance the overall quality of the essay.

  2. Sentence Structure: Continue working on incorporating a wider range of sentence structures. Ensure that complex structures are used accurately to convey ideas without introducing errors.

  3. Content Development: While the content is generally relevant, consider providing more depth to your arguments. Elaborate on examples and explanations to strengthen the overall essay.

  4. Clarity and Precision: Strive for clarity and precision in expressing ideas. This includes refining the use of vocabulary and ensuring that each sentence contributes effectively to the overall coherence of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is undeniable that the advent of the internet has led to a gradual shift away from traditional printed materials, with many turning to free online sources for their reading needs. While some argue that printed books and newspapers will become obsolete, I maintain the belief that they should continue to exist for several reasons.

While online reading offers obvious conveniences such as time savings and flexible access worldwide, the reliability of content quality cannot be guaranteed as with printed documents. Clearly, the content of books or newspapers undergoes careful consideration by publishers, ensuring filtration and credibility. However, this is not always the case with online sources, where content posting freedom may be exploited by cybercriminals.

While proponents of online reading may highlight its benefits, printed books still provide certain advantages. Firstly, a vast repository of knowledge accumulated throughout human civilization is primarily stored in written and printed documents. Specialized knowledge, for instance, may be confined to libraries or national archives to prevent potential economic or social damage if exposed to the public. Secondly, physically holding a printed book enables readers to easily take notes on desired insights and reduces dependence on internet access.

In conclusion, despite the advantages of free online reading, printed documents offer unique conveniences that prevent them from being entirely replaced. The disappearance of traditional books or newspapers could result in devastating setbacks to mankind’s academic development.

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