Is it sensible for people to buy food that already prepared rather than waste time for cooking for themselves?
Is it sensible for people to buy food that already prepared rather than waste time for cooking for themselves?
Whether it is sensible for people to buy food that already prepared instead of cooking for themselves depends on various individuals’ preferences, budgets, priorities. Here some point to consider:
First and foremost, food and diet regimes which we digest insert an inherent role in our well-being and immune system. The issue is whether eating out or utilising prossesed food can supply sufficient nutritional quality for our body. In the reality, numerous studies have claimed that those food composes a vast range of man-made colour, fats, and preservatives that not work well for our health.
Secondly, not cooking for ourselves can cause to lacking warm family atmosphere. For instance, preparing and cooking some dishes together can increase the close-nit membership in our family.
At last but not least, the already prepared meal may waste a considerable amount of money. Althought they can offer the convenience and saving time but are more expensive than cooking at home, especially over time.
In conclusion, the pros and cons of buying the already prepared food are varied and multifaceted. Thus, the decision to embrace using those food depends on individual preferences and priorities, weighing these factors in the balance. Within a thoughtful appoarch, this issue can be carefully considered to make an informed decision.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Whether it is sensible" -> "Whether it is advisable"
Explanation: "Advisable" is a more formal and precise term than "sensible" in this context, aligning better with academic language by implying a recommendation based on reason or evidence. -
"Here some point to consider" -> "Here are some points to consider"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error from "Here some" to "Here are" and changing "point" to "points" fixes the plural form and corrects the verb agreement, enhancing the formal tone. -
"food and diet regimes which we digest" -> "the food and dietary regimens we consume"
Explanation: "Dietary regimens" is a more precise term than "diet regimes," and "consume" is more appropriate than "digest" in this context, as it refers to the act of eating rather than the process of digestion. -
"utilising prossesed food" -> "utilizing processed foods"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "processed" to "processed" and changing "food" to "foods" to match the plural form used earlier in the sentence, improves accuracy and consistency. -
"those food composes" -> "these foods comprise"
Explanation: "Comprise" is the correct verb form for indicating that something is made up of parts, and "these foods" is grammatically correct compared to "those food." -
"not cooking for ourselves can cause to lacking warm family atmosphere" -> "not cooking for ourselves can lead to a lack of warmth in family atmosphere"
Explanation: "Lead to a lack of warmth" is a more precise and grammatically correct expression than "cause to lacking," which is awkward and incorrect. -
"close-nit membership" -> "close-knit membership"
Explanation: Correcting the misspelling of "close-nit" to "close-knit" fixes a typographical error and maintains the intended meaning of a strong, tight bond within a family. -
"At last but not least" -> "Finally"
Explanation: "Finally" is a more concise and formal way to conclude a list, replacing the less formal "At last but not least." -
"already prepared meal" -> "pre-prepared meals"
Explanation: "Pre-prepared meals" is a more precise term than "already prepared meal," which is vague and informal. -
"Althought" -> "Although"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "Althought" to "Although" fixes a typographical error, ensuring the text is free of spelling mistakes. -
"saving time but are more expensive than cooking at home" -> "saving time but are often more expensive than cooking at home"
Explanation: Adding "often" clarifies that this is a general tendency rather than a universal truth, enhancing the precision of the statement. -
"Within a thoughtful appoarch" -> "With a thoughtful approach"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "approach" to "approach" and changing "Within" to "With" improves the grammatical structure and readability of the sentence. -
"this issue can be carefully considered" -> "this issue can be carefully considered"
Explanation: Adding "to make an informed decision" after "considered" provides a clearer conclusion and emphasizes the purpose of the consideration, aligning with academic style.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the pros and cons of buying prepared food versus cooking at home. However, it lacks a comprehensive exploration of the topic. The introduction mentions preferences, budgets, and priorities but does not clearly define these terms or how they relate to the question. The points raised about nutritional quality and family atmosphere are relevant but not fully developed or connected back to the central question of sensibility.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should explicitly outline the key aspects of the prompt in the introduction. Each point made should clearly relate back to whether it is sensible to buy prepared food. Adding specific examples and evidence to support each argument would also enhance the response.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat unclear position. While it acknowledges both sides of the argument, it does not take a definitive stance on whether buying prepared food is sensible or not. Phrases like "depends on various individuals’ preferences" suggest indecision rather than a clear position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should choose a side in the introduction and consistently support that viewpoint throughout the essay. Using phrases such as "I believe" or "In my opinion" can help clarify the writer’s stance. Additionally, summarizing the position in the conclusion would reinforce the argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat underdeveloped. For instance, the discussion on nutritional quality mentions "man-made colour, fats, and preservatives" but does not provide specific examples or studies to substantiate these claims. The point about family atmosphere is relevant but lacks depth and connection to the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point with specific examples, statistics, or studies. Each argument should be clearly linked back to the main question, and the writer should aim to extend their ideas by discussing implications or consequences.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of buying prepared food versus cooking at home. However, some points, such as the mention of "warm family atmosphere," could be more directly tied to the sensibility of buying prepared food. The essay occasionally deviates from the main question by focusing on broader implications rather than directly addressing the sensibility aspect.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the central question. They can achieve this by restating the question or key terms in each paragraph and ensuring that all points made are relevant to the question of sensibility.
Overall, the essay needs to be more comprehensive in addressing the prompt, present a clear position, and support ideas with specific examples. Additionally, it is essential to stay focused on the topic throughout the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the pros and cons of buying prepared food versus cooking at home. However, the organization of ideas could be improved. The introduction outlines the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement that summarizes the main points. The body paragraphs address different aspects of the topic, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing nutritional quality to family atmosphere feels abrupt and could benefit from a linking sentence that connects the two ideas more effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider starting with a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main arguments. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea, and include transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing nutritional concerns, you could introduce the family aspect with a phrase like, "In addition to health considerations, the social implications of cooking also play a significant role."
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure could be more effective. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, but some paragraphs are underdeveloped. For example, the second paragraph about family atmosphere is quite brief and could be expanded with more examples or explanations to strengthen the argument. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points or restate the thesis, which can leave the reader feeling unsatisfied.
- How to improve: Aim for a clear structure within each paragraph, starting with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. Ensure that each paragraph is sufficiently developed to fully explore the point being made. In the conclusion, succinctly summarize the key arguments presented in the essay and restate the thesis to reinforce the overall message.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "secondly," and "at last but not least," which help to organize the points. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "the issue is whether eating out or utilising processed food" could be better linked to the subsequent discussion about nutritional quality.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in contrast," "for example," and "consequently." This will help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to enhance clarity rather than create confusion.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a better overall score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "nutritional quality," "processed food," and "inherent role." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, phrases like "already prepared food" and "not cooking for ourselves" appear multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "prepared food," alternatives like "pre-packaged meals," "ready-made dishes," or "convenience food" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs can add depth to the writing.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the already prepared meal may waste a considerable amount of money" could be more accurately expressed as "purchasing ready-made meals can lead to significant financial expenditure." Furthermore, the term "man-made colour" is vague and could be better articulated as "artificial colors."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by revisiting sentences and considering whether the chosen words effectively communicate the idea. Utilizing a thesaurus or vocabulary resources can also help in selecting more precise terms.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "prossesed" (processed), "Althought" (Although), "close-nit" (close-knit), and "appoarch" (approach). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and maintaining a personal list of frequently used vocabulary can aid in improving spelling skills over time.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary usage, addressing these areas of improvement will help elevate the Lexical Resource score in future writing tasks.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "Whether it is sensible for people to buy food that already prepared instead of cooking for themselves depends on various individuals’ preferences, budgets, priorities." However, the essay predominantly relies on simple and compound sentences, which limits the overall grammatical range. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "the already prepared meal may waste a considerable amount of money," which could be more effectively expressed.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex and compound-complex sentences. This can be achieved by using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., although, because, since) to create dependent clauses. For example, instead of saying "not cooking for ourselves can cause to lacking warm family atmosphere," the writer could say, "not cooking for ourselves can lead to a lack of a warm family atmosphere, as shared meals often foster closer relationships."
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "food that already prepared" should be "food that is already prepared," indicating a missing verb. Additionally, "the issue is whether eating out or utilising prossesed food can supply sufficient nutritional quality for our body" contains a spelling error ("prossesed" should be "processed") and awkward phrasing. The use of commas is inconsistent, as seen in "budgets, priorities," where a conjunction is needed for clarity ("preferences, budgets, and priorities").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on verb tenses and forms, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for spelling errors and punctuation consistency will enhance the overall quality of the writing. For instance, revising sentences to ensure they include necessary verbs and correcting spelling mistakes will contribute to a clearer and more professional presentation.
Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
Whether it is sensible for people to buy food that is already prepared instead of cooking for themselves depends on various individuals’ preferences, budgets, and priorities. Here are some points to consider:
First and foremost, the food and dietary regimens we consume play an inherent role in our well-being and immune system. The issue is whether eating out or utilizing processed foods can supply sufficient nutritional quality for our bodies. In reality, numerous studies have claimed that these foods comprise a vast range of man-made colors, fats, and preservatives that do not work well for our health.
Secondly, not cooking for ourselves can lead to a lack of warmth in the family atmosphere. For instance, preparing and cooking some dishes together can increase the close-knit membership in our family.
Finally, the pre-prepared meals may waste a considerable amount of money. Although they can offer convenience and save time, they are often more expensive than cooking at home, especially over time.
In conclusion, the pros and cons of buying already prepared food are varied and multifaceted. Thus, the decision to embrace these foods depends on individual preferences and priorities, weighing these factors in the balance. With a thoughtful approach, this issue can be carefully considered to make an informed decision.