It is believed that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, the influence of news media on people's lives is undeniably pervasive, sparking debates about its overall impact. While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will explore both the adverse and beneficial aspects, delving into the impact of sensationalism and the positive role of media in fostering informed decision-making
The negative influence of news media becomes apparent when it sensationalizes information, manipulating facts to evoke fear or anxiety among the audience. For instance, the exaggerated coverage of minor incidents, such as the New Delhi strike in early 2023, not only distorted reality but also triggered unnecessary panic among the populace, thereby illustrating the damaging effects of sensationalism.
Additionally, illustrative instances of media perpetuating harmful stereotypes can be observed in the coverage of gender roles, where traditional portrayals persistently prevail. For instance, the overrepresentation of women in domestic roles and men in positions of power in mainstream media not only reinforces gender biases but also impedes progress toward achieving gender equality. This skewed narrative not only perpetuates societal divisions but also hampers the development of a more egalitarian and inclusive social fabric.
On the positive side, news media serves as a crucial source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make informed decisions. It plays a pivotal role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Moreover, the news media not only acts as a vital information hub but also plays a pivotal role in enhancing public awareness. For instance, its coverage of societal issues like environmental concerns or public health crises equips individuals with relevant knowledge, enabling them to make well-
informed decisions that contribute to a better society.
In conclusion, while the news media's influence on people's lives carries both negative and positive dimensions, fostering media literacy and encouraging ethical reporting practices can mitigate the adverse effects. A well-informed and critically engaged audience can harness the positive potential of news media while guarding against its potential drawbacks.
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Errors and Improvements:
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"In contemporary society, the influence of news media on people’s lives is undeniably pervasive, sparking debates about its overall impact. While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will explore both the adverse and beneficial aspects, delving into the impact of sensationalism and the positive role of media in fostering informed decision-making."
-> "In the present-day society, the impact of news media on individuals’ lives is undoubtedly widespread, prompting discussions about its overall influence. While some posit that this impact is primarily detrimental, I assert that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will examine both the adverse and advantageous aspects, probing into the impact of sensationalism and the constructive role of media in facilitating informed decision-making."
Explanation: Replacing "contemporary society" with "present-day society" and "undeniably pervasive" with "undoubtedly widespread" contributes to a more formal tone. Additionally, the use of "posit" instead of "argue" and "assert" instead of "contend" enhances the precision and formality of expression. -
"The negative influence of news media becomes apparent when it sensationalizes information, manipulating facts to evoke fear or anxiety among the audience. For instance, the exaggerated coverage of minor incidents, such as the New Delhi strike in early 2023, not only distorted reality but also triggered unnecessary panic among the populace, thereby illustrating the damaging effects of sensationalism."
-> "The adverse impact of news media becomes evident when it sensationalizes information, manipulating facts to instill fear or anxiety among the audience. For example, the exaggerated coverage of minor incidents, like the New Delhi strike in early 2023, not only distorted reality but also induced unwarranted panic among the populace, thus exemplifying the detrimental effects of sensationalism."
Explanation: Replacing "becomes apparent" with "becomes evident" and "evokes fear" with "instills fear" enhances formality. The use of "For example" instead of "For instance" and "thereby illustrating" with "thus exemplifying" contributes to a more academic and precise expression. -
"Additionally, illustrative instances of media perpetuating harmful stereotypes can be observed in the coverage of gender roles, where traditional portrayals persistently prevail. For instance, the overrepresentation of women in domestic roles and men in positions of power in mainstream media not only reinforces gender biases but also impedes progress toward achieving gender equality. This skewed narrative not only perpetuates societal divisions but also hampers the development of a more egalitarian and inclusive social fabric."
-> "Moreover, exemplifying instances of media perpetuating detrimental stereotypes can be discerned in the coverage of gender roles, where traditional portrayals persistently endure. For example, the overrepresentation of women in domestic roles and men in positions of power in mainstream media not only reinforces gender biases but also hinders progress toward achieving gender equality. This skewed narrative not only perpetuates societal divisions but also impedes the development of a more egalitarian and inclusive social fabric."
Explanation: Substituting "Additionally" with "Moreover" and "can be observed" with "can be discerned" contributes to a more formal tone. The use of "exemplifying instances" instead of "illustrative instances" and "hinders progress" instead of "impedes progress" enhances precision and formality. -
"On the positive side, news media serves as a crucial source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make informed decisions. It plays a pivotal role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Moreover, the news media not only acts as a vital information hub but also plays a pivotal role in enhancing public awareness. For instance, its coverage of societal issues like environmental concerns or public health crises equips individuals with relevant knowledge, enabling them to make well-informed decisions that contribute to a better society."
-> "On the affirmative side, news media serves as a pivotal source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make well-informed decisions. It plays a crucial role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Furthermore, the news media not only acts as a fundamental information hub but also plays a crucial role in enhancing public awareness. For example, its coverage of societal issues such as environmental concerns or public health crises equips individuals with pertinent knowledge, enabling them to make well-informed decisions that contribute to a better society."
Explanation: Replacing "positive side" with "affirmative side" and "crucial" with "pivotal" enhances formality. The use of "Furthermore" instead of "Moreover" contributes to a more formal and precise expression. Substituting "societal issues like" with "societal issues such as" improves grammatical correctness, and "relevant" with "pertinent" adds to the formality of language.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
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Quoted text: "In contemporary society, the influence of news media on people’s lives is undeniably pervasive, sparking debates about its overall impact. While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted."
- Explanation and Improvement suggestion: Your introduction clearly states your position on the influence of news media. However, for a more robust introduction, consider briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will provide a roadmap for your reader and enhance the overall structure of your essay.
- Improved example: "In contemporary society, the pervasive influence of news media on people’s lives has ignited debates regarding its overall impact. While some assert that this influence is largely negative, I argue that the effects of news media are nuanced. In this essay, I will explore both the detrimental and positive aspects, touching upon sensationalism and the constructive role of media in fostering informed decision-making."
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Quoted text: "The negative influence of news media becomes apparent when it sensationalizes information, manipulating facts to evoke fear or anxiety among the audience. For instance, the exaggerated coverage of minor incidents, such as the New Delhi strike in early 2023, not only distorted reality but also triggered unnecessary panic among the populace, thereby illustrating the damaging effects of sensationalism."
- Explanation and Improvement suggestion: Your analysis of sensationalism is well-articulated. However, consider providing a more diverse range of examples to strengthen your argument. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and add weight to your position.
- Improved example: "The detrimental impact of news media is exemplified in its tendency to sensationalize information, distorting facts to instill fear or anxiety. For instance, the exaggerated coverage of minor incidents, such as the New Delhi strike in early 2023, not only distorted reality but also needlessly induced panic among the populace. Similarly, instances like these underscore the destructive effects of sensationalism on public perception."
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Quoted text: "Additionally, illustrative instances of media perpetuating harmful stereotypes can be observed in the coverage of gender roles, where traditional portrayals persistently prevail."
- Explanation and Improvement suggestion: While your point about media perpetuating stereotypes is valid, consider delving deeper into this aspect. Provide specific examples or instances to illustrate the prevalence of harmful stereotypes in media, making your argument more compelling and convincing.
- Improved example: "Furthermore, media plays a role in perpetuating harmful stereotypes, particularly evident in its coverage of gender roles. Traditional portrayals persistently prevail, with women often overrepresented in domestic roles and men in positions of power. For instance, advertisements and TV shows frequently reinforce these stereotypes, hindering progress towards gender equality and fostering societal divisions."
Overall, your essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt, with room for improvement in providing more diverse examples and delving deeper into certain aspects of your arguments.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases and pronouns, contributing to overall coherence. The central topic within each paragraph is clear, and paragraphing is done sufficiently and appropriately. However, there is a slight tendency toward overuse of cohesive devices in some places, which, although not severe, contributes to a less than perfect cohesion.
How to improve:
To enhance cohesion further, strive for a more balanced use of cohesive devices. While maintaining coherence, be cautious not to overuse certain transitional phrases or pronouns. Ensure that each cohesive device serves a specific purpose in connecting ideas. Additionally, carefully review the essay for any instances of repetition, especially in the use of certain words or phrases, to refine the overall coherence of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8
Band Score: 8.0
Explanation:
This essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing a variety of terms effectively to discuss the multifaceted impact of news media. There’s fluency and flexibility in conveying precise meanings, employing less common lexical items with skill. The essay effectively discusses negative aspects, such as sensationalism and perpetuation of stereotypes, with clarity and coherence.
However, there are occasional instances where word choice could be more refined to enhance precision. While the vocabulary usage is advanced and sophisticated, minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation slightly affect the overall fluency and precision.
How to improve:
To improve, focus on refining word choice and collocation for an even greater level of precision. Continuously strive to use less common lexical items accurately and consider the nuanced implications of certain words in context to enhance the essay’s sophistication further. Additionally, thorough proofreading for minor errors in word choice and collocation would elevate the lexical resource score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
This essay demonstrates a commendable command of a variety of sentence structures and displays a good range of vocabulary. There is a consistent attempt to use complex sentences alongside simple structures, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The majority of sentences are error-free and showcase a good level of grammatical control. The essay effectively explores both positive and negative aspects of news media, presenting ideas coherently and logically.
How to improve:
To enhance the essay further and potentially reach a higher band score, strive for even greater diversity in sentence structures. Additionally, ensure a consistent application of complex structures with full accuracy. While occasional errors were present, focusing on meticulous proofreading and editing to rectify these minor issues can refine the overall grammatical accuracy. Further depth in analyzing specific examples and their impacts could also elevate the content and reasoning.
This assessment is based on the grammatical range and accuracy criteria specified for a Band 7 score in the IELTS Task 2 writing band descriptors.
Bài sửa mẫu
In contemporary society, the influence of news media on people’s lives is undeniably pervasive, sparking debates about its overall impact. While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will explore both the adverse and beneficial aspects, delving into the impact of sensationalism and the positive role of media in fostering informed decision-making.
The negative influence of news media becomes apparent when it sensationalizes information, manipulating facts to evoke fear or anxiety among the audience. For instance, the exaggerated coverage of minor incidents, such as the New Delhi strike in early 2023, not only distorted reality but also triggered unnecessary panic among the populace, thereby illustrating the damaging effects of sensationalism.
Additionally, illustrative instances of media perpetuating harmful stereotypes can be observed in the coverage of gender roles, where traditional portrayals persistently prevail. For instance, the overrepresentation of women in domestic roles and men in positions of power in mainstream media not only reinforces gender biases but also impedes progress toward achieving gender equality. This skewed narrative not only perpetuates societal divisions but also hampers the development of a more egalitarian and inclusive social fabric.
On the positive side, news media serves as a crucial source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make informed decisions. It plays a pivotal role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Moreover, the news media not only acts as a vital information hub but also plays a pivotal role in enhancing public awareness. For instance, its coverage of societal issues like environmental concerns or public health crises equips individuals with relevant knowledge, enabling them to make well-informed decisions that contribute to a better society.
In conclusion, while the news media’s influence on people’s lives carries both negative and positive dimensions, fostering media literacy and encouraging ethical reporting practices can mitigate the adverse effects. A well-informed and critically engaged audience can harness the positive potential of news media while guarding against its potential drawbacks.
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