Kids these days have better educational equipment compared to those in the past.

With the advancement of time, technologies undoubtedly have grown over the years to have much better accessibility compared to the past days. Admittedly students today possess far better educational equipment than those in past days.
To start, children of today’s age have much more advanced technologies compared to those who live in the day of purely just books. These days, they have things like e-books or easy access internet connection provided to the public. Undoubtedly, information is sure to be more accessible to everyone, especially students.
Students also have much better tools to assist their studies such things as laptops, mobile phones, or artificial intelligence that can help them do the hard thinking and give them a short path to their answers. This could be a double-sided knife when some can abuse the system and not learn anything while others need to work harder to achieve the same thing.
Lastly, with how fast time is flying by, many innovations in technology are being made to help the human race create a paradise and education will be the first thing that we think of, without a doubt that our future generation will inherit our intelligence and make the world better in the future.
In conclusion, technology has changed how education works and it helped us a lot in achieving many great things. For sure those who are lazy will find a way to cheat the system but compared to children in the past days, they have much better equipment to help with everything.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"With the advancement of time" -> "With the passage of time"
Explanation: "With the passage of time" is a more formal and precise phrase that better fits the academic context, avoiding the colloquial tone of "advancement of time."
"technologies undoubtedly have grown over the years to have much better accessibility" -> "technologies have undoubtedly become more accessible over the years"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrase to "have undoubtedly become more accessible" removes redundancy and enhances clarity, making the sentence more direct and formal.
"children of today’s age" -> "today’s students"
Explanation: "Today’s students" is more concise and specific, avoiding the awkward and vague phrase "children of today’s age."
"things like e-books or easy access internet connection provided to the public" -> "resources such as e-books and public internet access"
Explanation: "Resources such as e-books and public internet access" is more precise and formal, replacing the informal "things like" and the awkward phrasing of "easy access internet connection."
"information is sure to be more accessible" -> "information is readily accessible"
Explanation: "Readily accessible" is a more precise and formal term that conveys the ease of access more effectively than "sure to be more accessible."
"such things as laptops, mobile phones, or artificial intelligence" -> "such tools as laptops, mobile devices, and artificial intelligence"
Explanation: "Tools" is a more specific and formal term than "things," and "mobile devices" is a more precise term than "mobile phones."
"do the hard thinking" -> "perform complex calculations"
Explanation: "Perform complex calculations" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than the colloquial "do the hard thinking."
"give them a short path to their answers" -> "provide them with a streamlined approach to finding answers"
Explanation: "Provide them with a streamlined approach to finding answers" is more formal and specific, avoiding the casual tone of "give them a short path."
"a double-sided knife" -> "a double-edged sword"
Explanation: "A double-edged sword" is a common idiomatic expression that is more appropriate in formal writing than "a double-sided knife," which is incorrect and unclear.
"how fast time is flying by" -> "how rapidly time passes"
Explanation: "How rapidly time passes" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of time moving quickly.
"create a paradise" -> "create a utopian environment"
Explanation: "Create a utopian environment" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "create a paradise," which is overly simplistic and colloquial.
"without a doubt that our future generation will inherit our intelligence" -> "it is certain that our future generation will inherit our intelligence"
Explanation: "It is certain that" is a more formal and assertive way to express certainty than "without a doubt that," which is somewhat informal.
"make the world better in the future" -> "improve the world in the future"
Explanation: "Improve the world" is a more precise and formal verb choice than "make better," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"For sure those who are lazy will find a way to cheat the system" -> "It is likely that those who are lazy will find ways to exploit the system"
Explanation: "It is likely that those who are lazy will find ways to exploit the system" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to discuss potential negative behaviors, avoiding the casual "For sure."
"they have much better equipment to help with everything" -> "they possess more advanced tools to support their studies"
Explanation: "Possess more advanced tools to support their studies" is a more formal and precise way to describe the availability of educational resources, replacing the casual "have much better equipment to help with everything."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by acknowledging that children today have better educational equipment compared to those in the past. It provides examples such as e-books, internet access, and advanced tools like laptops and mobile phones. However, while the essay mentions these advancements, it could benefit from a more structured approach to explicitly compare the past and present educational equipment in a more detailed manner. The discussion of the implications of these advancements is somewhat vague and could be more focused.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay could include a clearer comparison between specific types of educational equipment used in the past versus those used today. Providing concrete examples and statistics could strengthen the argument. Additionally, discussing the impact of these advancements on learning outcomes would enhance the depth of the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that children today have superior educational equipment. However, the position becomes less clear in the latter part of the essay when discussing the potential negative aspects of technology, such as cheating and dependency on devices. This introduces ambiguity regarding the overall stance on whether the advancements are wholly positive or have drawbacks.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position throughout the essay, the writer should clearly delineate the advantages and disadvantages of modern educational equipment. A more balanced approach could involve acknowledging the drawbacks while reiterating the overarching positive impact of technology on education, thereby reinforcing the main argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of modern educational tools, such as accessibility and advanced technology. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the mention of "artificial intelligence" lacks specific examples of how it aids learning. The discussion of the potential for misuse of technology is also brief and could be elaborated upon.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and substantiate ideas, the writer should provide specific examples and explanations for each point made. For instance, discussing how e-books enhance learning through interactive features or how AI tools like tutoring apps can provide personalized learning experiences would strengthen the argument. Additionally, including counterarguments and addressing them would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advancements in educational equipment. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, particularly in the conclusion, where the mention of "creating a paradise" and "inheriting intelligence" feels somewhat disconnected from the main argument about educational equipment.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the prompt. The conclusion could be more effective if it succinctly summarized the main points made about educational equipment rather than introducing new ideas. A strong conclusion should reinforce the main argument without introducing unrelated concepts.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, enhancing the clarity, depth, and focus of the arguments would lead to a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the advancements in educational equipment over time. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic. However, the logical progression between ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing advanced technologies to the potential negative impacts of these tools feels abrupt and lacks a clear connection. The final paragraph introduces a new idea about future generations without adequately linking it to the previous points.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases that connect ideas between paragraphs and within them. For example, after discussing the benefits of modern educational tools, a sentence like "However, this advancement also brings challenges" could serve as a bridge to the discussion of potential misuse. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion ties back to the main argument presented in the introduction, reinforcing the essay’s overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct point related to the main argument. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to enhance clarity and depth. For instance, the second paragraph could benefit from more examples or elaboration on how specific technologies improve learning outcomes. The third paragraph introduces a new concept about future generations without a clear connection to the preceding discussion, making it feel somewhat disjointed.
- How to improve: Aim for a more uniform structure within paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. Consider expanding the second paragraph with specific examples of how technologies like e-books or AI tools are used in educational settings. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next, maintaining a cohesive narrative throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "to start," "lastly," and "undoubtedly," which help guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and their usage can occasionally feel repetitive. For example, the phrase "compared to those in the past days" appears multiple times, which could be varied to enhance the essay’s sophistication.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "furthermore," "on the other hand," and "consequently." This will help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more engaging writing style. For example, instead of repeatedly using "compared to," try phrases like "in contrast to" or "when juxtaposed with."

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing its effectiveness in conveying the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "advancement," "accessibility," "educational equipment," and "artificial intelligence" being effectively employed. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the phrase "compared to those in the past" appearing multiple times, which limits the lexical variety. Additionally, phrases like "double-sided knife" are somewhat clichéd and could be replaced with more original expressions.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "compared to those in the past," alternatives like "in contrast to earlier generations" or "relative to previous eras" could be utilized. Exploring more advanced vocabulary related to technology and education would also be beneficial.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains generally appropriate vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the term "double-sided knife" is a metaphor that may confuse readers, as it is not commonly used in this context. The phrase "easy access internet connection" could be more precisely articulated as "high-speed internet access" or "broadband connectivity."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by considering the context in which words are used and opting for terms that are widely recognized and understood. Engaging with academic texts on technology and education could help in identifying more precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with only minor errors such as "internet connection" (should be "Internet connection") and "double-sided knife" (which is a phrase that may not be spelled incorrectly but is used inappropriately). The overall spelling is consistent and does not detract significantly from the essay’s clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on capitalization rules (e.g., "Internet" should be capitalized). Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or vocabulary quizzes can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and maintaining correct spelling conventions, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "with the advancement of time" and "to start" effectively introduces ideas. However, the essay could benefit from more complex structures that showcase a higher level of grammatical sophistication. For example, the sentence "These days, they have things like e-books or easy access internet connection provided to the public" could be restructured for clarity and complexity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more subordinate clauses and varied sentence beginnings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Students also have," try using introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In addition to these advancements, students now have…" This will not only diversify the sentence structures but also improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are several instances where punctuation and grammar could be improved. For example, the phrase "such things as laptops, mobile phones, or artificial intelligence that can help them do the hard thinking and give them a short path to their answers" is somewhat convoluted and lacks clarity. Additionally, the phrase "double-sided knife" should be "double-edged sword" for correct idiomatic usage. There are also minor punctuation issues, such as missing commas that could enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation, focus on revising sentences for clarity and conciseness. For instance, breaking down long sentences into shorter, clearer ones can help. Furthermore, ensure that commas are used to separate clauses appropriately. For example, in the sentence "this could be a double-sided knife when some can abuse the system and not learn anything while others need to work harder to achieve the same thing," consider revising to "This could be a double-edged sword; while some may abuse the system and not learn anything, others may need to work harder to achieve the same results." This not only corrects the idiom but also improves clarity and punctuation.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the passage of time, technologies have undoubtedly become more accessible over the years compared to the past. Admittedly, students today possess far better educational equipment than those in previous generations.

To start, children of today have much more advanced technologies compared to those who lived in a time of purely just books. These days, they have resources such as e-books and public internet access. Undoubtedly, information is readily accessible to everyone, especially students.

Students also have much better tools to assist their studies, such as laptops, mobile devices, and artificial intelligence that can help them perform complex calculations and provide them with a streamlined approach to finding answers. This could be a double-edged sword, as some may exploit the system and not learn anything, while others need to work harder to achieve the same results.

Lastly, with how rapidly time passes, many innovations in technology are being made to help humanity create a utopian environment. It is certain that our future generation will inherit our intelligence and improve the world in the future.

In conclusion, technology has changed how education works and has helped us achieve many great things. It is likely that those who are lazy will find ways to exploit the system, but compared to children in the past, they possess more advanced tools to support their studies.