Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

There is an ongoing debate about whether the business should pay for occupations such as CEO and executive equally to others. Although this view has valid statements, personally, I still dissent from this idea and promote the idea of giving those jobs a higher salary.
Owing to the former view, equal salaries can help foster a sense of fairness between workers, and directly avoid undesirable conflicts. As a result, the whole company's productivity will be boosted thanks to the establishment of a friendly workplace. Another striking feature of this approach is that its efficiency will be escalated if it co-operates with other strategies, such as receiving additional income based on their contribution to the company. An ideal example can be taken from the case of XELAX, a technology-oriented company, where the productivity of workers increased more than 20% to this co-existing of those methods.
Despite having a decent impact on the business, it can also propagate slothfulness and an uncompetitive nature among employees. Initially, due to getting promoted does not help people to achieve a higher salary and satisfy their ambitions, there is currently no motivation for them to be well-performed and diligent at work. This results in a terrible working atmosphere where no competition or inspiring races amidst departments occur. In contrast, the disparity in pay should be more suitable since these high occupations are required to bear massive responsibilities and have years of experience in their professions. Furthermore, a handsome salary could help to attract capable and qualified leaders to the company.
In conclusion, paying equally to all employees does not only seem to be an adequate and effective choice but also leaves numerous implementations. For those aforementioned better, I think an opposite scheme should work better.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "Owing to the former view" -> "Due to the former perspective"
   Explanation: "Owing to" is somewhat archaic and overly formal. "Due to" is a more common and appropriate phrase in academic writing, maintaining clarity and formality.

2. "equal salaries" -> "equal compensation"
   Explanation: "Salaries" refers specifically to monetary payment for work, while "compensation" encompasses broader forms of payment, such as benefits and bonuses. Using "compensation" provides a more comprehensive term in the context of workplace remuneration.

3. "foster a sense of fairness between workers" -> "foster equity among employees"
   Explanation: "Equity" is a more precise term in this context, as it implies fairness and impartiality, which extends beyond mere equality. It also aligns better with academic language standards.

4. "strange conflicts" -> "undesirable conflicts"
   Explanation: "Strange" is too subjective and informal. "Undesirable" is a more neutral and formal term, emphasizing the negative impact of conflicts in the workplace.

5. "the establishment of a friendly workplace" -> "fostering a congenial work environment"
   Explanation: "The establishment of a friendly workplace" is somewhat redundant and lacks precision. "Fostering a congenial work environment" conveys the same idea more concisely and formally.

6. "efficiency will be escalated" -> "efficiency will be enhanced"
   Explanation: "Escalated" is slightly informal and may seem overly dramatic in this context. "Enhanced" is a more appropriate term for describing improvements in efficiency in a formal setting.

7. "those methods" -> "these methods"
   Explanation: "Those" refers to items further away, while "these" refers to items closer in proximity. Since the methods were mentioned in the preceding sentence, "these" is more appropriate here.

8. "propagate slothfulness" -> "promote lethargy"
   Explanation: "Propagate" is not the most suitable term here, as it typically refers to the spread or transmission of something. "Promote" is more fitting in this context. "Slothfulness" can be replaced with "lethargy" for a more formal and precise term.

9. "no competition or inspiring races" -> "lack of competition or motivational challenges"
   Explanation: "Inspiring races" is a colloquial expression that is too informal for academic writing. "Motivational challenges" is a more formal and precise term that conveys the same idea.

10. "a handsome salary" -> "a competitive salary"
    Explanation: "Handsome" is a subjective and informal term. "Competitive" is more appropriate in this context, emphasizing that the salary offered is attractive relative to the industry standard.

11. "those aforementioned better" -> "the latter"
    Explanation: "Those aforementioned better" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "The latter" succinctly refers back to the previously mentioned option, providing clarity and cohesion to the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It presents a clear stance against the notion of paying CEOs and executives equally to other workers and provides reasons to support this position.
  • How to improve: To further enhance task response, consider providing more nuanced reasoning for why paying CEOs and executives higher salaries is beneficial. Additionally, ensure that the essay fully explores the implications of paying all employees equally, considering potential consequences beyond productivity and workplace atmosphere.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing against equal pay for CEOs and executives.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, ensure that each paragraph reinforces the main argument and avoids introducing conflicting ideas or ambiguity.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas adequately. It offers examples and reasoning to explain why paying CEOs and executives higher salaries is preferable.
  • How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, consider providing more detailed examples and elaborating on how higher salaries for CEOs and executives can benefit companies in specific ways. Additionally, ensure that each idea is fully developed and supported with evidence or logical reasoning.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the issue of salary disparity between CEOs/executives and other workers.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, avoid introducing tangential points or arguments that do not directly relate to the topic. Ensure that all examples and explanations contribute directly to the central argument against equal pay for CEOs and executives.

Overall, the essay effectively argues against the idea of paying CEOs and executives equally to other workers, but there is room for improvement in providing more nuanced reasoning, reinforcing clarity of position, enhancing idea development, and maintaining strict relevance to the topic. With these enhancements, the essay could achieve an even stronger score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction that presents the writer’s stance on the issue. Each subsequent paragraph provides arguments supporting this stance, followed by a brief conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt, and the essay lacks a clear progression of thought. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of equal salaries to the drawbacks feels disjointed.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider employing a more structured approach to presenting arguments. Start with a clear thesis statement in the introduction, followed by supporting points presented in a logical order. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through the essay’s progression.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different aspects of the argument. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, such as the benefits of equal salaries or the drawbacks of such a policy. However, some paragraphs could be more cohesive internally, with clearer topic sentences and supporting details.
  • How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Provide sufficient supporting evidence and analysis within each paragraph to fully develop the argument. Additionally, consider the flow between paragraphs to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices, primarily relying on basic transitional phrases such as "although," "despite," and "in conclusion." While these devices help connect ideas to some extent, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used and integrating them more seamlessly into the text.
  • How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices beyond transitional phrases to include pronouns, conjunctions, and lexical cohesion. Use pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, employ conjunctions to indicate relationships between ideas, and incorporate cohesive lexical choices to create coherence at the sentence level. Practice integrating these devices naturally to enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing varied terms such as "foster," "escalated," "slothfulness," "uncompetitive," "disparity," and "adequate." These words enhance the richness of expression and contribute to a nuanced argument.
  • How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider integrating specialized terminology related to business management and economics to provide more depth to the discussion. For instance, incorporating terms like "profit maximization," "strategic leadership," or "corporate governance" could elevate the sophistication of the analysis.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "co-existing of those methods" could be replaced with "implementation of these strategies" for clearer expression. Additionally, the use of "adequate" in the concluding paragraph might not precisely convey the intended meaning of suitability or appropriateness.
  • How to improve: Continuously strive for precision in word choice by considering synonyms or alternative expressions that precisely convey the intended meaning. Utilize dictionaries and thesauruses to explore nuanced distinctions between similar terms and select the most fitting ones for each context.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits correct spelling, with no glaring errors detracting from readability. However, there are a few minor spelling errors, such as "co-operates" (should be "cooperates") and "slothfulness" (more commonly spelled as "sluggishness").
  • How to improve: Enhance spelling accuracy through consistent proofreading and utilization of spelling and grammar checking tools. Additionally, cultivate the habit of reviewing commonly misspelled words and paying attention to spelling patterns to minimize errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, with a varied lexicon contributing to effective communication of ideas. To further improve lexical resource, focus on incorporating specialized terminology, refining word choice for precision, and enhancing spelling accuracy through diligent proofreading.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:
  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable effort in utilizing a variety of sentence structures. There is evidence of complex structures such as conditional sentences ("Although this view has valid statements, personally, I still dissent from this idea") and compound sentences ("Another striking feature of this approach is that its efficiency will be escalated if it co-operates with other strategies, such as receiving additional income based on their contribution to the company"). However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and sophistication of sentence structures, as some sentences tend to follow a more basic structure, lacking complexity and variety.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence types such as parallel structures, subordinate clauses, and varied sentence lengths. This can be achieved through careful attention to sentence construction during the writing process. Additionally, reading a variety of texts written by proficient writers can provide valuable exposure to diverse sentence structures.
• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical accuracy with few noticeable errors. However, there are instances where minor grammatical errors detract from the clarity of the message. For example, in the sentence "Another striking feature of this approach is that its efficiency will be escalated if it co-operates with other strategies, such as receiving additional income based on their contribution to the company," the use of "escalated" may not be the most appropriate choice, and the phrase "based on their contribution to the company" lacks clarity in its reference. Additionally, there are a few punctuation errors throughout the essay, such as missing commas and incorrect placement of punctuation marks.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is recommended to review grammar rules and practice identifying and correcting common errors. Paying close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and pronoun-antecedent agreement can help enhance accuracy. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and correct punctuation errors, ensuring clarity and coherence in the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a continuing debate about whether companies should pay CEOs and executives the same as other workers. While this perspective has its merits, I personally disagree and advocate for higher salaries for these positions. Due to the former perspective, equal salaries can foster equity among employees and prevent undesirable conflicts. This approach also contributes to fostering a congenial work environment, thereby enhancing overall efficiency. These methods, when combined with other strategies like performance-based bonuses, can significantly boost productivity. For instance, XELAX, a technology company, experienced a 20% increase in productivity by implementing such methods.

However, despite its positive impact, equal pay can promote lethargy and a lack of competition or motivational challenges among employees. When promotions don’t translate into higher salaries, employees may lack motivation to excel at work. This absence of competition can lead to a stagnant work environment. Conversely, offering higher salaries to CEOs and executives is more appropriate, considering the substantial responsibilities and experience required for these roles. Moreover, a competitive salary can attract capable and qualified leaders to the company.

In conclusion, while equal pay may seem fair and practical, it can lead to unintended consequences. Therefore, I believe that a disparity in pay, with higher salaries for CEOs and executives, is more conducive to a dynamic and competitive work environment.