many people believe the investment to science should be carried out by the government rather than by private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, the investment for scientific research is a subject of debate. While some people believe that this investment should be carried out by the government rather than private companies, I suggest a equal opportunities should be offered for both entities, leading to the development of human society
On the one hand, governmental funding plays a crucial role in scientific development due to its ethical standards and the priority of human satisfaction. To begin with, the authorities have a well-structured system including obvious standards to scientific fields, especially in medicine and biology. This safe priority will ensure the efficiency and safety of scientific productions . Additionally, the government's priority is improving the quality of life rather than making profit, offering the satisfaction to residents. For example, most of authorities tend to focus on even low profitable fields, such as tradition and religious research, which provide residents a deep understanding and optimistic awareness. These improvement bring people a sense of happiness, resulting in a higher satisfaction society.

On the other hand, superior resources for scientific research and a competitive environment are two main advantages of private entrepreneurs. Firstly, while the government has to divide resources equally for each scientific field, the industry can focus only on global trends, allowing rapid advancements in specific areas. For example, the AI technology receives a superior investment by a variety of corporations in the world, offering a significant improvement to bring benefits to the society. Moreover, a large number of companies in each field leads to a more competitive environment, offering IMPOSING pressure ON ALL STAKEHOLDERS to make greater efforts. This pressure will force them to promote and develop rapidly, which leads to scientific improvement.

In conclusion, although government investment has a pivotal role to play in ensuring safety and efficiency and citizens' satisfaction, the function of private entities cannot be overlooked with a superior resources and competitive environment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the investment for scientific research" -> "investment in scientific research"
Explanation: The preposition "for" is incorrectly used here. "In" is the correct preposition to use when referring to investment in a field or activity, enhancing the grammatical accuracy and formal tone of the sentence.
"a equal opportunities" -> "equal opportunities"
Explanation: The phrase "a equal opportunities" is grammatically incorrect. "Equal opportunities" should be used without the article "a" to correctly describe the concept of fairness and equity in access to resources.
"leading to the development of human society" -> "contributing to societal development"
Explanation: The phrase "leading to the development of human society" is somewhat vague and awkward. "Contributing to societal development" is more precise and academically appropriate, focusing on the role of investment in the broader societal context.
"governmental funding plays a crucial role" -> "governmental funding assumes a crucial role"
Explanation: The verb "plays" is somewhat informal and less precise in this context. "Assumes" is more formal and suitable for academic writing, indicating a more active and decisive involvement of the government in scientific development.
"obvious standards to scientific fields" -> "clear standards for scientific fields"
Explanation: "Obvious" is subjective and informal; "clear" is more objective and appropriate for academic writing. Additionally, "to" should be replaced with "for" to correctly indicate the relationship between the standards and the fields they apply to.
"safe priority" -> "prioritization of safety"
Explanation: "Safe priority" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Prioritization of safety" is a more precise and formal way to express the prioritization of safety in scientific development.
"the government’s priority is improving the quality of life" -> "the government prioritizes improving the quality of life"
Explanation: The passive construction "the government’s priority is" can be replaced with the active "the government prioritizes" to enhance the sentence’s clarity and formality.
"even low profitable fields" -> "even less profitable fields"
Explanation: "Low profitable" is grammatically incorrect. "Less profitable" is the correct comparative form, improving the grammatical accuracy and clarity of the sentence.
"These improvement bring people a sense of happiness" -> "These improvements bring people a sense of happiness"
Explanation: "These improvement" should be plural to match the plural subject "improvements," ensuring grammatical correctness and maintaining the formal tone.
"IMPOSING pressure ON ALL STAKEHOLDERS" -> "imposing pressure on all stakeholders"
Explanation: The all capitalization of "IMPOSING" is unnecessary and informal. Lowercase is appropriate for normal text, and "on" should be used instead of "ON" for correct prepositional usage.
"a superior resources" -> "superior resources"
Explanation: "A superior resources" is grammatically incorrect. "Superior resources" is the correct form, enhancing the sentence’s grammatical structure and formality.
"competitive environment, offering IMPOSING pressure" -> "competitive environment, exerting significant pressure"
Explanation: Replacing "IMPOSING" with "significant" removes unnecessary capitalization and enhances the formality of the language. "Exerting" is also more precise than "offering" in this context, accurately describing the action of pressure being applied.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both government and private investment in scientific research. The writer presents a balanced view, suggesting that both entities should have equal opportunities. However, the response could be more explicit in stating the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement. The phrase "I suggest equal opportunities should be offered" does not clearly indicate whether the author agrees or disagrees with the notion that government should primarily fund science.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. For example, they could specify whether they believe government funding should be prioritized or if they advocate for a more balanced approach. This clarity will help ensure all parts of the question are thoroughly addressed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position, but it lacks consistency. The introduction suggests a balanced approach, yet the body paragraphs provide arguments that could be interpreted as favoring both sides. For instance, while discussing government funding, the author emphasizes ethical standards and societal benefits, but then highlights the advantages of private investment without a clear resolution on which is more important.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently refer back to their main argument throughout the essay. They could use transitional phrases to indicate how each point supports their overall stance. Additionally, a more definitive conclusion that summarizes their position would reinforce clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the roles of government and private investment in science. However, some points lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the mention of "traditional and religious research" as a low-profit area could be elaborated with specific examples of research projects or their societal impacts. The discussion on AI technology is a good start but could benefit from further elaboration on how these advancements specifically improve society.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. This could involve discussing specific government-funded projects or private sector innovations that have had significant societal impacts. Additionally, extending the discussion on how these investments interact could provide a more nuanced view.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the roles of government and private investment in scientific research. However, some sentences could be seen as slightly off-topic or vague, such as the mention of "optimistic awareness" and "higher satisfaction society," which could be more directly tied back to the main argument about investment.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the core argument of the essay. They could achieve this by regularly linking back to the prompt and ensuring that all examples and explanations serve to reinforce their main thesis. Additionally, avoiding vague language and ensuring clarity in expression will help keep the discussion relevant.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. However, enhancing clarity of position, deepening the support for ideas, and maintaining focus will help elevate the response to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint regarding the investment in scientific research. The first paragraph focuses on the advantages of government funding, while the second highlights the benefits of private investment. This logical separation helps the reader follow the argument. However, there are instances where the flow could be improved. For example, the transition between discussing government funding and private investment could be more fluid, as the current structure feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader from one point to the next. For instance, after discussing government funding, you could use phrases like "Conversely," or "On the other hand," to signal a shift in perspective more clearly. Additionally, summarizing the main points at the end of each paragraph could reinforce the logical flow.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. However, the first body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the thesis statement. The conclusion, while present, could also be more explicitly tied back to the arguments made in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences in each paragraph to ensure they clearly reflect the main argument of that section. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Government funding is essential for ensuring ethical standards in scientific research." This would provide a clearer connection to the thesis. In the conclusion, reiterate the main arguments made in the essay to reinforce coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to contrast the two perspectives. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be strengthened. For example, phrases like "Additionally" and "Moreover" are used, but more variety in connectors could enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, consider using "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "Consequently" to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one; this can be achieved by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which will create a smoother reading experience.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By focusing on improving transitions, strengthening topic sentences, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially raising their score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "investment," "scientific research," "governmental funding," and "competitive environment." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases such as "a well-structured system" and "superior investment" are used, but they could be enhanced with more advanced synonyms or expressions to convey the ideas more effectively. The phrase "leading to the development of human society" is somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific language.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate more varied and sophisticated synonyms. For example, instead of repeating "investment," consider using "allocation of resources" or "financial backing." Additionally, phrases like "ethical standards" could be expanded to "moral and ethical considerations" to add depth. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary lists related to science and economics could help diversify word choice.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the authorities have a well-structured system including obvious standards to scientific fields" could be confusing, as "obvious standards" lacks clarity. The term "superior resources" is also vague; it would be more effective to specify what types of resources are being referred to, such as "financial resources," "human capital," or "technological assets."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to clarify vague terms and ensure that each word accurately reflects the intended meaning. For instance, instead of "obvious standards," the writer could specify "clear regulatory frameworks." Additionally, using more specific adjectives or nouns can help convey the message more clearly, such as replacing "superior resources" with "substantial funding and advanced technology."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "a equal opportunities" (should be "equal opportunities"), "profit" (should be "profit"), and "improvement" (should be "improvements"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling commonly used academic vocabulary can build confidence and reduce mistakes in future essays.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary relevant to the topic, there are significant opportunities for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By expanding vocabulary, clarifying word choices, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their Lexical Resource score in future IELTS essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively introduces contrasting points. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "the investment for scientific research is a subject of debate" is straightforward and could be rephrased to incorporate more complex structures, such as using a relative clause: "the investment for scientific research, which has sparked considerable debate, is often viewed differently by various stakeholders."
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses, participial phrases, or varied sentence openings. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "the government" or "private companies," try beginning with adverbial phrases or clauses that set the context, such as "In light of recent advancements in technology, private companies have increasingly become pivotal in scientific research."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a good level of grammatical accuracy overall, but there are several noticeable errors. For instance, "a equal opportunities" should be corrected to "equal opportunities," as "a" is unnecessary and grammatically incorrect. Additionally, the phrase "these improvement bring people a sense of happiness" should be revised to "these improvements bring people a sense of happiness" to ensure subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "leading to the development of human society" in the introduction.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage. Regularly proofreading for common errors can be beneficial. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and phrases effectively. For example, consider revising longer sentences to include commas that clarify the meaning, such as: "Moreover, a large number of companies in each field leads to a more competitive environment, offering imposing pressure on all stakeholders to make greater efforts."

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, the investment in scientific research is a subject of debate. While some people believe that this investment should be carried out by the government rather than by private companies, I suggest that equal opportunities should be offered for both entities, leading to the development of human society.

On the one hand, governmental funding plays a crucial role in scientific development due to its ethical standards and the prioritization of human satisfaction. To begin with, the authorities have a well-structured system that includes clear standards for scientific fields, especially in medicine and biology. This prioritization of safety will ensure the efficiency and safety of scientific productions. Additionally, the government’s priority is improving the quality of life rather than making a profit, offering satisfaction to residents. For example, most authorities tend to focus on even less profitable fields, such as traditional and religious research, which provide residents with a deep understanding and optimistic awareness. These improvements bring people a sense of happiness, resulting in a higher satisfaction society.

On the other hand, superior resources for scientific research and a competitive environment are two main advantages of private entrepreneurs. Firstly, while the government has to divide resources equally among each scientific field, the industry can focus only on global trends, allowing rapid advancements in specific areas. For example, AI technology receives superior investment from a variety of corporations around the world, offering significant improvements that bring benefits to society. Moreover, a large number of companies in each field leads to a more competitive environment, imposing pressure on all stakeholders to make greater efforts. This pressure will force them to promote and develop rapidly, which leads to scientific improvement.

In conclusion, although government investment has a pivotal role to play in ensuring safety and efficiency as well as citizens’ satisfaction, the function of private entities cannot be overlooked due to their superior resources and competitive environment.