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Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more countries invest into space research projects in the 21st century. This increasing trend has sparked controversy on whether those investments are smartly spent. While some people think that governments should spend more on improving the inhabitants' living standards, I disagree with that point of view and I think countries should invest into space research besides other fields on Earth.
One of the main purposes of space expeditions is that we want to find planets having signals of life. The world population keeps growing everyday, causing people to fear that there is no more space on Earth for the future generations. Therefore, we need to take space ventures with the hope that there will be other planets as a new settlement for people on Earth. Expeditions on Mars, for instance, have opened up opportunities of growing plants there. This means in the near future, we can have more soil for agricultural work and more space to settle. In this case, space research can help solve the problem of population explosion and food crisis on our planet.
The rapid growth in Earth's population not only causes the lack of shelter but also prompts the depletion of natural resources. Some kinds of materials had already run out of in many parts of the world. Space expeditions allow us to find new natural resources on other planets to support life on Earth. For example, many American companies have claimed that their space shuttles would soon be launched onto asteroids for mineral mining. In addition, NASA also said that they would soon start their extraction projects on the Moon in the following decade. Space research can help human beings explore new sources of minerals to address the resource shortage problem on Earth.
In conclusion, space ventures are often for the sack of people on this globe. They can help solve crisises in food and shelter, and the lack of natural resourses. I believe that besides investments into fields for a better life on Earth, governments should also spend on developing their space projects.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "invest into" -> "invest in"
    Explanation: The correct preposition to use with "invest" in this context is "in" rather than "into." "Invest in" is the standard collocation used when discussing financial or resource allocation.

  2. "smartly spent" -> "wisely allocated"
    Explanation: Replacing "smartly spent" with "wisely allocated" maintains a formal tone and conveys the idea of prudent and strategic use of resources, aligning more with academic language.

  3. "While some people think" -> "While some argue"
    Explanation: Substituting "think" with "argue" elevates the language to a more formal tone, presenting differing perspectives in a more scholarly manner.

  4. "I disagree with that point of view" -> "I hold a contrasting perspective"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase offers a more academic and formal way of expressing disagreement, avoiding the use of conversational language.

  5. "countries should invest into" -> "nations should invest in"
    Explanation: The correct preposition is "in" rather than "into" following "invest" to adhere to formal language conventions.

  6. "signals of life" -> "signs of life"
    Explanation: "Signs of life" is a more established and formal phrase than "signals of life" in the context of searching for indications of life on other planets.

  7. "fear that there is no more space on Earth" -> "concerned about the Earth’s limited space"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more formal and succinct, avoiding informal language and enhancing clarity.

  8. "settlement for people on Earth" -> "habitable alternative for Earth’s inhabitants"
    Explanation: "Settlement for people on Earth" is more colloquial, whereas "habitable alternative for Earth’s inhabitants" maintains a formal tone and clarity.

  9. "Expeditions on Mars, for instance" -> "For instance, Mars expeditions"
    Explanation: Rearranging the phrase improves sentence structure and readability, providing a more academic flow.

  10. "This means in the near future" -> "Consequently, in the foreseeable future"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase offers a more sophisticated transition, fitting better within an academic context.

  11. "space research can help solve the problem" -> "space research can aid in resolving"
    Explanation: "Aid in resolving" is a more formal alternative that aligns better with academic writing.

  12. "the lack of shelter but also prompts" -> "the scarcity of shelter but also triggers"
    Explanation: Substituting "lack" with "scarcity" and "prompts" with "triggers" maintains formality and enhances lexical variety.

  13. "had already run out of in many parts of the world" -> "have already depleted in many regions"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more grammatically accurate and aligns with formal language standards.

  14. "Space expeditions allow us to find new natural resources" -> "Space expeditions enable the discovery of new natural resources"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase offers a more formal and precise expression, fitting for academic writing.

  15. "for mineral mining" -> "for mining minerals"
    Explanation: Reordering the words enhances clarity and conforms to typical word order in formal writing.

  16. "ventures are often for the sack of people on this globe" -> "ventures are often for the sake of humanity on this planet"
    Explanation: "For the sake of humanity on this planet" is a more formal and appropriate expression compared to "for the sack of people on this globe."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "More and more countries invest into space research projects in the 21st century. This increasing trend has sparked controversy on whether those investments are smartly spent. While some people think that governments should spend more on improving the inhabitants’ living standards, I disagree with that point of view and I think countries should invest into space research besides other fields on Earth."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction is clear in presenting the writer’s disagreement with the idea of diverting funds from space research to improving living standards. However, it lacks a brief roadmap of the main points that will be discussed. Consider providing a concise preview of the key arguments you will elaborate on in the body paragraphs to enhance the structure and coherence of your essay.

    • Improved example: "In this essay, I will argue against the notion of reallocating funds from space research to improving living standards on Earth. I will discuss how space exploration holds the potential for future settlement options and addresses issues such as population growth and resource depletion."

  2. Quoted text: "One of the main purposes of space expeditions is that we want to find planets having signals of life. The world population keeps growing everyday, causing people to fear that there is no more space on Earth for the future generations. Therefore, we need to take space ventures with the hope that there will be other planets as a new settlement for people on Earth."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While you provide a reason for space exploration (finding planets with signs of life), the link between this and the argument that space exploration can offer new settlements for Earth’s growing population needs more explicit development. Elaborate on how finding habitable planets would address the concern of limited space on Earth. Provide a specific example or scenario to strengthen this connection.

    • Improved example: "Space expeditions aim to discover planets with signs of life, offering the possibility of new settlements for the growing Earth population. For instance, identifying a habitable exoplanet could pave the way for humanity to establish colonies, relieving the pressure on Earth’s limited space resources."

  3. Quoted text: "Expeditions on Mars, for instance, have opened up opportunities of growing plants there. This means in the near future, we can have more soil for agricultural work and more space to settle. In this case, space research can help solve the problem of population explosion and food crisis on our planet."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The point about growing plants on Mars is well-made, but it would be more effective if you connected this directly to solving the problem of population explosion and food crisis on Earth. Clearly articulate how growing plants on Mars translates to addressing these issues on our planet. Provide a specific example or elaborate on the process to make the connection more explicit.

    • Improved example: "The successful cultivation of plants on Mars presents a viable solution to Earth’s population explosion and food crisis. For instance, the knowledge gained from growing crops on Mars can be applied to develop innovative agricultural practices on Earth, ensuring sustainable food production to meet the demands of a growing population."

Overall, while your essay addresses the task, there is room for improvement in explicitly connecting your arguments and providing more detailed examples to support your points.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a coherent structure with clear progression of ideas. It begins with an introduction that sets up the argument and provides a clear stance. Each body paragraph focuses on a distinct point: the potential for settlement on other planets and the search for new resources. However, the essay could benefit from stronger transitions between sentences and within paragraphs to enhance the overall cohesion. Some sentences feel disjointed, affecting the flow of ideas.

How to improve:
To elevate the coherence and cohesion, focus on smoother transitions between ideas. Use cohesive devices more consistently to connect sentences and paragraphs logically. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear central topic and consider refining the structure for improved paragraphing, making it more logically structured and better aligned with the flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision. It uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. The essay effectively conveys the writer’s perspective on space research and its benefits for Earth. There is a variety of vocabulary, and the writer employs some sophisticated expressions, contributing to a relatively high score. However, occasional errors in word choice and collocation are present, affecting the overall fluency and accuracy. For instance, the phrase "for the sack of people" should be corrected to "for the sake of people," and the word "crisises" should be corrected to "crises."

How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim for more precise word choices and ensure accurate collocation. Attention to detail in spelling and word formation is crucial to minimize errors. Proofreading the essay for these issues before submission would significantly improve the band score. Additionally, incorporating a broader range of less common lexical items would further elevate the vocabulary aspect of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a variety of complex structures, contributing to a Band 7 score. There is a successful attempt at incorporating complex sentence forms throughout the essay. The writer utilizes a range of sentence structures effectively to convey ideas, demonstrating a good command of grammar and punctuation. The essay contains only a few minor errors, which do not significantly impede communication. The use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, contributing to the overall clarity of expression.

How to improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy further, the writer should focus on refining the accuracy of sentences by paying attention to minor errors and ensuring consistent punctuation. Additionally, the essay could benefit from greater precision in vocabulary and phrasing to elevate the overall linguistic sophistication. Careful proofreading to eliminate any remaining errors would contribute to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the 21st century, numerous nations are allocating substantial funds to space research initiatives. This upward trajectory has stirred debate over the judicious use of these investments. While some advocate for prioritizing the enhancement of living standards for Earth’s inhabitants, I maintain a divergent perspective. In my view, countries should continue to invest in space research, alongside other terrestrial pursuits.

A primary objective of space expeditions is the exploration of planets exhibiting signs of life. The burgeoning global population fuels concerns about the Earth’s limited space for future generations. Hence, embarking on space ventures becomes imperative, holding the promise of alternative habitable planets. Notably, explorations such as missions to Mars have unveiled possibilities for cultivating plants, suggesting a potential solution to the impending challenges of overpopulation and food scarcity on our home planet.

The exponential growth in Earth’s population not only contributes to housing shortages but also accelerates the depletion of natural resources. Certain materials have already been depleted in numerous regions globally. Space expeditions offer a viable avenue to discover new natural resources on distant planets, crucial for sustaining life on Earth. For instance, American companies envision launching space shuttles for mineral mining on asteroids, while NASA plans extraction projects on the Moon in the coming decade. Space research emerges as a vital tool for humanity to explore novel mineral sources, mitigating the resource scarcity predicament on Earth.

In conclusion, space ventures serve the interests of humanity on our planet. They hold the potential to address crises related to food, shelter, and the shortage of natural resources. I firmly believe that governments should not only invest in endeavors aimed at improving life on Earth but also allocate resources to the development of their space projects.

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