More and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and making time to exercise regularly. Why is this happening and what can we do to encourage this?
More and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and making time to exercise regularly. Why is this happening and what can we do to encourage this?
There is a prevalent trend that people regularly consume healthy food and engage in physical activities instead of leading a sedentary life. While the motivations of this trend are manifold, some practical suggestions could be impelemented to stimulate wider participants possessing healthier habits.
The widespead of adopting healthy lifestyles is largely driven by the proliferation of social media platforms and a self-motivated factor. First and foremost, the convenience and accessibility of socia media could provide a vast array of information for seeking nutitrional guidlines and exercises plans. Specifically, algorithms on social media may priortize more possitive content, including videos and posts about healthy choices on eating and practicing. Plus, people have a tendency to spend a significant amount of time on social media. By providing an accessible and beneficial information about both healthier rations and benefits of continuous practice, such platforms potentially play a vital role in stimulating people adopting this trend. Meta platform could be cited for this specific example. By offering a heart rate monitoring service, many people are into doing sports activities, preventing them from some chronic deseases, such as diabetes and obesity. Another key point is the contribution of personal goals in the popularity of healthy lifestyles. It means that some people enthusiastically participate in practicing and choosing nutritional-focused food by themselves. As a result, not only do healthy people achieve their goals, but also others may be influenced by such meaningful activities for health. Besides, it is undeniable that other fundamental factors also play an important role in the inspiration of healthy habits, such as advice from others and the convenient locations of sports facilities.
However, the importance thing is how to encourage more participants possessing healthy habits. By two main factors, the modification of algorithms on social media and the supports of government, the popularity of health-concious choices will be ubiquitous among individuals. To begin with, some platforms such as Instagram and Facebook could adjust their algorithms to priorly displayed more positive content, including the advantages of healthy products and doing exercises. Consequently, such content easily approaches more viewers, who may not engage in any healthy hobbies. To consider the contribution of the governments to promote such mentioned activities, they should prioritize spending their budget for installing more well-equipped facilities using for practicing on public spaces, with the aim of public wellness. By having more modern sporty equipment, people could constitute a new healthy habit, which is easy to follow because of no charge allocates for sports activities. Moreover, the reduction of taxation on healthy items should be imposed on by the governments. On the other words, they should support finances for supermarkets and grocery stores to selling such items with affordable prices. As a result, such promotions could help more and more individuals to start new healthier habits.
In conclusion, while the influences of social media platforms and self-motivated goals could be seen as the reasons of healthy trends, the government and such platforms should carry out more actions to stimulate the enthusiasm of living healthier.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"people regularly consume healthy food" -> "individuals frequently consume healthy foods"
Explanation: Replacing "people" with "individuals" and "food" with "foods" enhances the formality and specificity of the language, aligning better with academic style. -
"engage in physical activities" -> "participate in physical activities"
Explanation: "Participate" is more precise and formal than "engage," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic contexts. -
"practical suggestions could be impelemented" -> "practical suggestions could be implemented"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "implemented" to "implemented" addresses a typographical error, ensuring the text is free of such mistakes. -
"widespead" -> "widespread"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "widespead" to "widespread" addresses a typographical error, enhancing the professionalism of the text. -
"socia media" -> "social media"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "socia media" to "social media" addresses a typographical error, ensuring accuracy and professionalism. -
"nutitrional guidlines" -> "nutritional guidelines"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "nutitrional" to "nutritional" addresses a typographical error, enhancing the credibility of the text. -
"exercises plans" -> "exercise plans"
Explanation: Changing "exercises" to "exercise" corrects the grammatical error, aligning with the singular form required in this context. -
"possitive content" -> "positive content"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "possitive" to "positive" addresses a typographical error, ensuring the text is free of such mistakes. -
"heart rate monitoring service" -> "heart rate monitoring services"
Explanation: Changing "service" to "services" corrects the grammatical error, as "services" is the plural form appropriate for the context. -
"many people are into doing sports activities" -> "many individuals engage in sports activities"
Explanation: Replacing "are into" with "engage in" refines the phrasing to a more formal and precise academic tone. -
"chronic deseases" -> "chronic diseases"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "deseases" to "diseases" addresses a typographical error, enhancing the professionalism of the text. -
"the importance thing" -> "the most important thing"
Explanation: Adding "most" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase grammatically correct and more formal. -
"the supports of government" -> "government support"
Explanation: Simplifying "the supports of government" to "government support" improves clarity and conciseness, aligning with academic style. -
"well-equipped facilities using for practicing" -> "well-equipped facilities for practicing"
Explanation: Removing "using" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more natural and formal. -
"constitute a new healthy habit" -> "develop a new healthy habit"
Explanation: Replacing "constitute" with "develop" uses a more appropriate verb for the context, enhancing clarity and formality. -
"no charge allocates for sports activities" -> "no charge is allocated for sports activities"
Explanation: Correcting "allocates" to "is allocated" fixes a grammatical error, ensuring the sentence is grammatically correct and formal. -
"On the other words" -> "In other words"
Explanation: Correcting "On the other words" to "In other words" addresses a typographical error, enhancing the professionalism of the text. -
"support finances for supermarkets and grocery stores" -> "provide financial support to supermarkets and grocery stores"
Explanation: Changing "support finances" to "provide financial support" clarifies the meaning and enhances the formality of the language.
These changes improve the essay’s formality, precision, and adherence to academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it discusses the reasons behind the increasing trend of healthy eating and regular exercise, and it offers practical suggestions to encourage this behavior. The first paragraph outlines motivations such as social media influence and personal goals, while the second paragraph provides actionable strategies like modifying social media algorithms and government support. However, the discussion could benefit from a more explicit connection between the reasons and the suggestions, particularly in how the suggestions directly address the identified motivations.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, explicitly link each reason to a corresponding suggestion. For example, after discussing how social media influences healthy choices, suggest specific types of content that could be promoted to further this influence. This will create a clearer relationship between the identified causes and the proposed solutions.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position on the importance of social media and government support in promoting healthy habits. However, the phrasing in some areas can lead to ambiguity, such as "the importance thing is how to encourage more participants possessing healthy habits," which could be more clearly articulated. The conclusion reiterates the main points but could be more assertive in stating the author’s stance.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of the position by using more definitive language throughout the essay. For instance, instead of saying "the importance thing," use "a crucial aspect of promoting healthy habits is…" This will help reinforce the author’s viewpoint and make it more compelling.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the motivations for healthy living and ways to encourage it. However, some points lack sufficient development. For instance, the mention of "algorithms on social media" is an interesting point, but it could be further elaborated with examples of successful campaigns or studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of such strategies. Additionally, some ideas, like the role of personal goals, could be expanded to include how these goals can be supported by community initiatives.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, provide more detailed examples and evidence to support claims. Consider including statistics or studies that illustrate the impact of social media on health behaviors or examples of successful government initiatives that have promoted healthy living. This will enhance the credibility of the arguments presented.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for the trend towards healthy eating and exercise, as well as suggestions for encouraging this behavior. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion of government support could be more directly tied back to the motivations discussed earlier.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, regularly refer back to the main question throughout the essay. When introducing suggestions, explicitly relate them to the motivations discussed in the first part. For example, when discussing government support, mention how this can address the accessibility issues highlighted in the social media discussion.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could potentially achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of ideas, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first body paragraph discusses the reasons behind the trend of healthy eating and exercising, while the second body paragraph focuses on suggestions for encouraging these habits. However, there are instances where the flow could be improved. For example, the transition between discussing social media’s role and personal motivation could be smoother to enhance the logical progression of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "On the other hand," can help connect ideas more cohesively. For instance, when moving from discussing social media to personal motivation, a transition like "In addition to social media influences, personal motivation also plays a crucial role" would clarify the relationship between the two points.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the topic. However, some paragraphs are overly long and could benefit from being split into smaller sections. For example, the first body paragraph contains multiple ideas about social media and personal motivation, which could be confusing for the reader.
- How to improve: Aim for more concise paragraphs that focus on a single main idea. This can be achieved by breaking down longer paragraphs into two or more shorter ones. For instance, the first body paragraph could be divided into one paragraph discussing social media’s influence and another focusing on personal motivation. This would enhance readability and allow for a more focused discussion of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "besides," and "however," which help guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, phrases like "the importance thing is how to encourage" could be rephrased for clarity and cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. Consider using "for instance," "therefore," "consequently," and "in contrast" to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure that phrases are grammatically correct and clear. For example, rephrase "the importance thing is how to encourage" to "a key consideration is how to encourage." This not only improves clarity but also enhances the overall cohesion of the essay.
In summary, while the essay achieves a solid Band 7 score for coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement. By focusing on clearer organization, effective paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices, the essay can enhance its clarity and logical flow, potentially achieving a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to health and lifestyle, such as "sedentary life," "nutritional guidelines," and "chronic diseases." However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetition, particularly with phrases like "healthy food" and "healthy habits." The use of terms like "widespread" and "proliferation" shows some sophistication, but overall, the vocabulary lacks the depth and variety expected at a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "healthy," alternatives like "nutritious," "wholesome," or "beneficial" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to health and wellness, such as "well-being," "lifestyle choices," or "preventative measures," would enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, "the importance thing" should be "the important thing," and "the supports of government" is awkwardly phrased; it would be clearer as "government support." Additionally, phrases like "the modification of algorithms on social media" could be simplified to "changing social media algorithms" for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and conciseness. This can be achieved by revising awkward phrases and ensuring that word choices accurately convey the intended meaning. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where the language may be unclear or overly complex.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. Words such as "impelemented," "widespead," "socia," "nutitrional," "guidlines," "priortize," "possitive," "deseases," and "health-concious" are misspelled. These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can negatively impact the reader’s perception of the writer’s language proficiency.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a proofreading strategy before finalizing the essay. Utilizing spell-check tools, reading the essay backwards, or having a peer review the work can help catch spelling mistakes. Additionally, practicing spelling common academic vocabulary can build confidence and reduce errors in future writing.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary related to the topic, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, focusing on clarity, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "the convenience and accessibility of social media could provide a vast array of information" shows an attempt to create more complex ideas. However, many sentences are overly long and convoluted, which can hinder clarity. For instance, the sentence "By providing an accessible and beneficial information about both healthier rations and benefits of continuous practice, such platforms potentially play a vital role in stimulating people adopting this trend" is lengthy and could be broken down for better readability.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice using a mix of short and long sentences, ensuring that complex sentences are clearly constructed. Additionally, incorporating more varied conjunctions and transition phrases can help create smoother connections between ideas. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "by," the writer could explore alternatives like "through," "with," or "by means of" to introduce different clauses.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity and professionalism. For example, "impelemented" should be "implemented," and "widespead" should be "widespread." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "the importance thing is how to encourage more participants possessing healthy habits," which should be "the important thing is how to encourage more participants to possess healthy habits." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas, can lead to run-on sentences, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for spelling errors and grammatical inconsistencies. It may be helpful to read the essay aloud to catch awkward phrasing or errors that may be overlooked when reading silently. Furthermore, practicing specific grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, can help solidify understanding and application in future writing. Engaging with grammar exercises or using grammar-checking tools can also provide immediate feedback on common mistakes.
Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, improving grammatical range and accuracy will significantly enhance clarity and coherence, ultimately leading to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
There is a prevalent trend that people regularly consume healthy food and engage in physical activities instead of leading a sedentary life. While the motivations for this trend are manifold, some practical suggestions could be implemented to stimulate wider participation in healthier habits.
The widespread adoption of healthy lifestyles is largely driven by the proliferation of social media platforms and self-motivation. First and foremost, the convenience and accessibility of social media can provide a vast array of information for seeking nutritional guidelines and exercise plans. Specifically, algorithms on social media may prioritize more positive content, including videos and posts about healthy eating choices and physical activities. Additionally, people tend to spend a significant amount of time on social media. By providing accessible and beneficial information about both healthier diets and the benefits of regular exercise, such platforms potentially play a vital role in encouraging people to adopt this trend. The Meta platform can be cited as a specific example. By offering heart rate monitoring services, many individuals engage in sports activities, which helps prevent chronic diseases such as diabetes and obesity.
Another key point is the contribution of personal goals to the popularity of healthy lifestyles. This means that some people enthusiastically participate in physical activities and choose nutritional-focused foods on their own. As a result, not only do healthy individuals achieve their goals, but others may also be influenced by such meaningful health-related activities. Furthermore, it is undeniable that other fundamental factors also play an important role in inspiring healthy habits, such as advice from others and the convenient locations of sports facilities.
However, the most important thing is how to encourage more individuals to adopt healthy habits. Through two main factors—the modification of algorithms on social media and government support—the popularity of health-conscious choices will become widespread among individuals. To begin with, some platforms such as Instagram and Facebook could adjust their algorithms to prioritize displaying more positive content, including the advantages of healthy products and exercise. Consequently, such content would easily reach more viewers who may not currently engage in any healthy hobbies.
Regarding the contribution of governments to promote these activities, they should prioritize spending their budget on installing more well-equipped facilities for practicing in public spaces, with the aim of promoting public wellness. By having more modern sports equipment, people could develop new healthy habits, which would be easy to follow because no charge is allocated for sports activities. Moreover, a reduction in taxation on healthy items should be imposed by governments. In other words, they should provide financial support to supermarkets and grocery stores to sell such items at affordable prices. As a result, such promotions could help more individuals start new healthier habits.
In conclusion, while the influences of social media platforms and self-motivated goals can be seen as reasons for healthy trends, the government and these platforms should take further actions to stimulate enthusiasm for living healthier.