More and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? What can be done to more people to eat healthier and exercise?
More and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? What can be done to more people to eat healthier and exercise?
Over the years, healthy lifestyle is clearly a heated topic which is often discussed all over the world. The most. question debated has derived from the increasing frequency of doing exercise and healthy diet. This issue can be attributed to some factors, which requires some viable solutions to handle.
On the one hand, a healthy lifestyle can be ascribed to some elements. first and foremost, the widespread of information about nutrients and health by social media such as, blogs, mainstream media Therefore, people will awareness of the importance of health, who have a better living healthy. Moreover, they are educated about the connection of their lifestyle with their well-being. As a results, they might access to reliable health information has been straight forward
On the other hand, the government have to propaganda mang benefits of Healthy lifestyle for residents. First, they can lower tax on healthy foods; for instance, there is a reduce about green and nutritious foods. Thus, it might make them more universally attainable to have a better lifestyle. Furthermore, the governor might engage in physical activities through the promotion of different sports by advertising in social media. Consequently, this can increase the tendency of exercise regularly and have a better healthy eating habit
In conclusion, the increasing of exercise regularly and eat healthy food can cause the problem of development of Internet and identity of resident about it. However, some possible solutions including low tax and advertising about Healthy lifestyle can be figured out to solve the root of that headache
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"healthy lifestyle is clearly a heated topic" -> "The concept of a healthy lifestyle is undeniably a widely debated issue"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks precision. Replacing it with a more formal and precise sentence enhances the academic tone of the essay. -
"The most. question debated" -> "The central question under debate"
Explanation: The original phrase is fragmented and lacks clarity. The suggested change provides a clear and concise expression of the main topic of discussion. -
"has derived from the increasing frequency of doing exercise" -> "arises from the growing prevalence of regular exercise"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and imprecise. The suggested alternative uses more formal language to convey the idea more clearly. -
"which requires some viable solutions to handle" -> "which necessitates viable solutions"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and vague. The suggested alternative maintains clarity and formality while expressing the same idea more effectively. -
"First and foremost, the widespread of information" -> "Foremost among these factors is the proliferation of information"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks grammatical correctness and formality. The suggested change corrects the structure and enhances the academic tone. -
"about nutrients and health by social media such as, blogs, mainstream media" -> "regarding nutrition and health through platforms like blogs and mainstream media"
Explanation: The original sentence contains an unnecessary comma and informal language. The suggested revision corrects these issues while maintaining clarity. -
"people will awareness of the importance of health" -> "people become more aware of the significance of health"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. The suggested change corrects the structure and maintains a formal tone. -
"educated about the connection of their lifestyle with their well-being. As a results," -> "educated about the correlation between their lifestyle and well-being. Consequently,"
Explanation: The original phrase contains a grammatical error and informal language. The suggested alternative corrects these issues while maintaining coherence. -
"they might access to reliable health information has been straight forward" -> "they can readily access reliable health information"
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and lacks clarity. The suggested change simplifies the expression while preserving formality. -
"the government have to propaganda mang benefits of Healthy lifestyle" -> "the government must promote the many benefits of a healthy lifestyle"
Explanation: The original phrase contains a grammatical error and uses informal language. The suggested revision corrects these issues and maintains a formal tone. -
"there is a reduce about green and nutritious foods" -> "there is a reduction in the cost of green and nutritious foods"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks grammatical correctness and precision. The suggested change rectifies these issues. -
"the governor might engage in physical activities" -> "government officials could participate in physical activities"
Explanation: The original phrase is overly informal and imprecise. The suggested change provides a more formal and clear expression. -
"advertising in social media" -> "advertising through social media"
Explanation: The original phrase is too simplistic. The suggested alternative maintains clarity while using more appropriate vocabulary. -
"this can increase the tendency of exercise regularly" -> "this can promote a regular exercise routine"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and imprecise. The suggested change offers a clearer and more formal expression. -
"the increasing of exercise regularly and eat healthy food" -> "the promotion of regular exercise and a healthy diet"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks grammatical correctness and precision. The suggested revision provides a more formal and concise expression. -
"can cause the problem of development of Internet and identity of resident about it" -> "can lead to challenges related to internet usage and residents’ identity"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. The suggested alternative corrects these issues. -
"some possible solutions including low tax" -> "potential solutions, including reduced taxation"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and imprecise. The suggested change offers a more formal and precise expression. -
"to solve the root of that headache" -> "to address the underlying issues"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and metaphorical. The suggested alternative maintains clarity and formality.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 3
Band Score for Task Response: 3
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing the reasons for the trend of people adopting healthy lifestyles and suggesting ways to encourage more individuals to eat healthily and exercise. However, the explanation is somewhat vague, and the evidence provided lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all parts of the question, the writer should provide a more detailed and specific analysis of the reasons for the trend, and offer concrete and practical solutions for promoting healthy eating and exercise. Clear examples and references to the prompt are needed.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and consistent position. It does mention reasons for the trend and suggests solutions, but the stance is not well-defined or articulated throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and ensure that every paragraph and argument aligns with this position. A well-defined thesis statement can help guide the essay.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas related to the reasons for the trend and possible solutions, but they are not effectively extended or supported. There is limited development of ideas, and the essay lacks specific examples and evidence.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations, examples, and evidence to support their arguments. Elaborate on each point and use specific instances to illustrate the concepts.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the reasons for the trend of adopting a healthy lifestyle and suggesting solutions. However, there are some sentences and phrases that are unclear or deviate from the main topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that every sentence directly relates to the main theme of healthy lifestyles. Avoid vague or off-topic statements to enhance clarity and coherence.
Overall, while the essay addresses the key components of the prompt, it lacks depth and clarity in its explanations, arguments, and evidence. To improve, the writer should work on providing more specific, well-supported ideas, maintaining a clear and consistent position, and staying focused on the topic throughout the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some issues in logical organization. It lacks a clear introduction and a proper conclusion. The opening sentence is somewhat unclear, and the essay would benefit from a stronger introductory statement to set the context for the reader. Additionally, there is a lack of a closing paragraph to summarize the main points and provide closure.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, begin with a clear and engaging introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. Organize the body paragraphs logically, with each one addressing a specific reason for the trend of healthy eating and exercise. Finally, end with a concluding paragraph that summarizes the key ideas and offers a final thought.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay struggles with paragraphing. There are no clear paragraph breaks, resulting in a single, lengthy block of text. This makes it challenging for the reader to follow the essay’s structure and ideas.
- How to improve: Divide the essay into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. For example, one paragraph can discuss the reasons for the trend, another can address solutions. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and contains related supporting details. Paragraph breaks help readers navigate the text and make it easier to understand.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., "on the one hand" and "on the other hand"), they are not effectively employed to create smooth transitions and logical connections between ideas. This affects the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, consider using a wider range of transitional phrases and words to connect sentences and paragraphs. These can include "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In addition," "However," and more. Ensure that these devices are used appropriately to guide the reader through your essay and create a cohesive flow of ideas. Practice using them effectively to enhance coherence.
Overall, while the essay addresses the topic, it would greatly benefit from better organization, clear paragraphing, and more effective use of cohesive devices. Improving these aspects will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay and, subsequently, its score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While some variety is present, there are instances of repetition and limited use of synonyms. For example, the term "healthy lifestyle" is frequently repeated, and synonyms or alternative expressions are not utilized effectively.
- How to improve: To improve in this aspect, the writer should aim to diversify their vocabulary by employing synonyms, paraphrasing, and using more precise and context-appropriate words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "healthy lifestyle," they could use synonyms like "wellness," "fitness regimen," "nutritious living," etc., to enhance lexical richness and avoid redundancy.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage in the essay is inconsistent. While some terms are used correctly, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary choices and grammatical errors. For example, the phrase "a heated topic" might be better expressed as "a widely debated issue," and "development of Internet and identity of resident" lacks clarity and precision.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should pay closer attention to word choice and ensure that each term fits the context accurately. They should also work on improving sentence structure and grammar to convey ideas more clearly. For instance, replacing vague phrases like "development of Internet and identity of resident" with more specific and clear language would be beneficial.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: There are several spelling errors in the essay, such as "mang" instead of "many," "straight forward" instead of "straightforward," and "governor" instead of "government." These errors, although not excessive, do affect the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully before submission. Additionally, they can use spelling and grammar checking tools or seek feedback from others to identify and correct spelling errors. Developing good proofreading habits is essential for improving overall writing quality.
Overall, while the essay presents some ideas related to the reasons for the trend towards healthy living and potential solutions, the lexical resource could be significantly improved to enhance clarity and effectiveness in communication. Focusing on a wider range of vocabulary, more precise word choices, and correct spelling will help the writer achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria for IELTS Task 2 essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. It uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there is room for improvement in sentence complexity. Some sentences could be more varied and sophisticated to enhance the overall writing quality.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex sentence forms, such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and passive voice constructions. This can add depth and complexity to your writing, making it more engaging for the reader.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("information about nutrients and health… who have a better living healthy"), article usage ("a healthy lifestyle can be ascribed to some elements"), and preposition use ("propaganda mang benefits of Healthy lifestyle"). Additionally, there are issues with sentence structure, making some parts of the essay unclear.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, consider reviewing and editing your writing more carefully. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, proper article usage, and correct prepositions. Proofreading your essay before submission can help you catch and rectify such errors. Additionally, work on sentence structure clarity to ensure that your ideas are presented more coherently.
Overall, your essay addresses the essay prompt effectively and presents some valid points. However, refining sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will contribute to a smoother and more polished piece of writing. Keep practicing and reviewing grammar rules to enhance your writing skills further.
Bài sửa mẫu
Over the years, the concept of a healthy lifestyle is undeniably a widely debated issue, discussed extensively worldwide. The central question under debate arises from the growing prevalence of regular exercise and the adoption of a healthy diet. This issue can be attributed to some factors, which necessitate viable solutions to handle.
On one hand, the proliferation of information regarding nutrition and health through platforms like blogs and mainstream media has played a pivotal role in this trend. Consequently, people become more aware of the significance of health and educated about the correlation between their lifestyle and well-being. Consequently, they can readily access reliable health information, leading to a better understanding of the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
On the other hand, the government must promote the many benefits of a healthy lifestyle for its residents. One practical approach is to reduce the taxation on healthy foods; for instance, there is a reduction in the cost of green and nutritious foods. Thus, making such foods more affordable can encourage a broader segment of the population to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Additionally, government officials could participate in physical activities and engage in advertising through social media platforms. This approach can effectively promote a regular exercise routine and a balanced diet among the citizens.
In conclusion, the promotion of regular exercise and a healthy diet has led to various benefits, but it can also lead to challenges related to internet usage and residents’ identity. However, potential solutions, including reduced taxation on healthy foods and government-led advertising campaigns about a healthy lifestyle, can address the underlying issues effectively.
Phản hồi