Nowadays, crimes seem to come from teenager mostly. What are the causes and what are the solutions?

In recent decades, teenage crimes have become a prevalent and publicly recognized phenomenon, engendering a concern for society. There is diverse array of reasons behind such as the instability of psychology and social media impacts, along with penitent solutions for each of them to foster a safer environment for adolescence.
Regarding to the causes, one of the most significant factors are the mental health changes and the prolong exposure with Internet. First of all, teenagers, in their stage of becoming adults, undergo a shift in hormones and emotions which directly affects their thinking and behaviors, may gradually formed a tendency to show self-identity and seek for stimulation. As a result, the desire to prove themselves grows significantly, possibly leading to the action of engaging in criminal line. Moreover, with the proliferation of technology, the Internet, offers a wide range of violent contents which are easily approached by them. Consequently, prolonged exposure with these kind of topics normalizes illegal actions, encouraging teenagers to engage in similar behaviors.
To address this noticeable issue, targeted approach should be taken into account including educational innovation and parental support. Lessons about this stage of life should be provided to teenagers who are struggling with psychological changes. Schools, by adding extra curriculum about the change in themselves, greatly helps teenagers navigating emotions, adjusting their activities, and avoid the tendency in criminal participation. Additionally, open communication in family is necessary to understand more about their difficulty so as to find suitable resolution. Parents, by setting boundaries and offering harmful consequences upon using social media, could diminished the risk of illegal activities from Internet on their offspring. Guardians should also encourage teenagers to tell about their experiences and feelings, supports a safe environment where they are able to express themselves.
In conclusion, teenage crime is a complex issue with various factors involved, typically should be the shift in recognition and the effect of platform. Therefore, communities and family need to engage in decreasing the tendency of this problem, comprising the need to educate adolescent lessons and family communication.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"teenage crimes" -> "juvenile delinquency"
Explanation: "Juvenile delinquency" is a more precise and academically appropriate term that refers specifically to the criminal behavior of minors, aligning better with formal and scholarly language.
"a concern for society" -> "a societal concern"
Explanation: "A societal concern" is a more formal expression that emphasizes the collective nature of the issue, enhancing the academic tone.
"diverse array of reasons" -> "varied range of reasons"
Explanation: "Varied range of reasons" is a more formal and precise phrase that better suits academic writing.
"behind such as" -> "including"
Explanation: "Including" is more direct and appropriate for academic writing, avoiding the informal and vague "behind such as."
"penitent solutions" -> "remedial solutions"
Explanation: "Remedial solutions" is the correct term for solutions aimed at correcting or improving a problem, whereas "penitent" is incorrectly used here and carries a connotation of guilt or remorse.
"Regarding to" -> "Regarding"
Explanation: "Regarding" should not be followed by "to," as it is an adverbial phrase that should stand alone.
"the prolong exposure with Internet" -> "prolonged exposure to the Internet"
Explanation: "Prolonged exposure to the Internet" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the meaning.
"may gradually formed a tendency" -> "may gradually form a tendency"
Explanation: "Form" should be in the infinitive form to correctly indicate potential future action.
"show self-identity" -> "develop self-identity"
Explanation: "Develop" is more accurate in this context, as it describes the process of forming one’s identity.
"seek for stimulation" -> "seek stimulation"
Explanation: "Seek" should not be followed by "for," as it is an infinitive verb.
"engaging in criminal line" -> "engaging in criminal activities"
Explanation: "Criminal activities" is the correct term, providing clarity and specificity.
"the Internet, offers" -> "the Internet offers"
Explanation: Remove the comma after "Internet" to correct the grammatical structure.
"prolonged exposure with these kind of topics" -> "prolonged exposure to such content"
Explanation: "Such content" is more precise and formal than "these kind of topics."
"normalizes illegal actions" -> "normalizes illegal behavior"
Explanation: "Behavior" is a more appropriate term in this context, referring to the actions or conduct of individuals.
"targeted approach should be taken into account" -> "targeted approaches should be considered"
Explanation: "Approaches" is plural to reflect the multiple strategies being discussed, and "considered" is more formal than "taken into account."
"adding extra curriculum" -> "adding additional curricula"
Explanation: "Curricula" is the plural form necessary when referring to multiple educational programs or courses.
"greatly helps" -> "significantly helps"
Explanation: "Significantly" is more formal and precise than "greatly" in academic writing.
"open communication in family" -> "open communication within families"
Explanation: "Within families" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the familial context.
"diminished the risk" -> "reduce the risk"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more direct and formal verb than "diminished" in this context.
"comprising the need to educate adolescent lessons" -> "including the need to educate adolescents"
Explanation: "Adolescents" is the correct plural form, and "including" is more appropriate than "comprising" in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the causes of teenage crime, such as mental health changes and the influence of the Internet, as well as proposing solutions like educational innovation and parental support. However, the explanation of the causes is somewhat vague, particularly the phrase "penitent solutions," which is unclear and does not directly relate to the prompt. The essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the causes and the proposed solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer should ensure that each cause is clearly linked to a specific solution. For example, after discussing the impact of social media, the writer could directly state how educational programs could mitigate this influence. Additionally, clarifying ambiguous phrases and ensuring that all terms used are relevant and understandable will strengthen the overall response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position regarding the causes and solutions of teenage crime. However, the introduction could be more direct in stating the writer’s stance. The phrase "penitent solutions" detracts from clarity, as it does not effectively communicate the intended message. While the body paragraphs present ideas logically, the conclusion lacks a strong reiteration of the main argument, which could confuse the reader about the writer’s overall position.
- How to improve: To present a clearer position, the introduction should explicitly state the writer’s viewpoint on the causes and solutions of teenage crime. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the importance of addressing these issues, reinforcing the writer’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the causes and solutions of teenage crime, such as mental health issues and the role of social media. However, some ideas are underdeveloped. For instance, the discussion about mental health changes lacks specific examples or data to support the claims made. The solutions, while relevant, could also benefit from further elaboration on how they can be implemented effectively.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or studies that illustrate the impact of mental health on teenage behavior. Additionally, elaborating on how educational programs can be structured or what specific parental strategies can be employed would provide a more robust argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the causes and solutions of teenage crime. However, some sentences, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, introduce vague or unrelated concepts, such as "shift in recognition," which does not clearly connect to the main topic. This can distract from the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all statements directly relate to the causes and solutions of teenage crime. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that each part of the essay contributes to the central argument will help keep the discussion relevant and on track.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in clarity, development, and focus will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the main points to be discussed. The causes are presented in a logical order, starting with psychological factors and then moving to the influence of the Internet. However, the transition between the causes and solutions could be more seamless. For example, the phrase "To address this noticeable issue" serves as a transition but could be more explicitly linked to the preceding discussion on causes.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer transition phrases that explicitly connect the causes to the solutions. For instance, after discussing the causes, a sentence like "Given these significant causes, it is essential to explore effective solutions" could provide a smoother transition. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with distinct sections for causes and solutions. Each paragraph contains relevant information, but some paragraphs could be more cohesive. For example, the second paragraph discussing causes could be split into two: one focusing on psychological changes and the other on the influence of the Internet. This would allow for a more focused discussion on each cause.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller, more focused ones. Each paragraph should ideally explore a single idea or theme in depth. For instance, the paragraph on solutions could be divided into two: one addressing educational innovations and the other focusing on parental support. This would enhance clarity and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first of all," "moreover," and "consequently," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "regarding to the causes" is not a standard expression and could be replaced with "regarding the causes" or "in terms of the causes."
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the other hand" to introduce new points or contrast ideas. Additionally, ensure that all phrases are grammatically correct and idiomatic. Practicing the use of cohesive devices in different contexts can help improve fluency and coherence in writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents ideas in a structured manner. By focusing on improving transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices, the coherence and cohesion of the essay can be further enhanced.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "prevalent," "phenomenon," "instability," and "proliferation." However, the use of phrases such as "penitent solutions" is awkward and does not fit the context, which detracts from the overall effectiveness. Additionally, there are instances where more varied vocabulary could have been employed to enhance clarity and depth, such as using synonyms for "teenagers" or "crimes."
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating a broader range of synonyms and expressions related to the topic. For example, instead of repeatedly using "teenagers," you could use "youth," "adolescents," or "young people." Additionally, ensure that vocabulary choices are contextually appropriate and precise.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "the prolong exposure with Internet" should be "the prolonged exposure to the Internet," and "diminished the risk of illegal activities from Internet" should be "diminish the risk of illegal activities on the Internet." These errors can confuse readers and detract from the argument’s clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Review phrases and collocations to ensure they are used correctly. For instance, instead of "engaging in criminal line," consider "engaging in criminal activities." Regularly practicing writing and seeking feedback can help identify and correct such issues.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a few spelling errors, such as "prolong" instead of "prolonged," and "supports" instead of "support." While these errors are not numerous, they can impact the overall impression of the writing and suggest a lack of attention to detail.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading routine. After writing, take a break and then review the text for spelling errors. Additionally, using spell-check tools or apps can help catch mistakes before submission. Regular reading can also improve spelling skills by familiarizing you with correct word forms.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs a reasonable range of vocabulary, there are notable areas for improvement in precision, variety, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "the instability of psychology and social media impacts" and "the desire to prove themselves grows significantly" showcases an ability to construct sentences that convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "one of the most significant factors are the mental health changes and the prolong exposure with Internet" could be restructured for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "teenagers, in their stage of becoming adults, undergo a shift in hormones and emotions," you could say, "As teenagers transition into adulthood, they undergo significant hormonal and emotional changes." Additionally, using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout the essay can help maintain reader interest and improve overall coherence.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, in the phrase "one of the most significant factors are the mental health changes," the verb "are" should be "is" to agree with the singular subject "one." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of commas in complex sentences, which can lead to confusion. For instance, "Consequently, prolonged exposure with these kind of topics normalizes illegal actions, encouraging teenagers to engage in similar behaviors" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that verbs match their subjects in number. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help reinforce these concepts. For punctuation, consider reviewing rules for using commas, particularly in complex sentences and lists. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify areas where punctuation may be lacking or where sentences may be overly long and convoluted.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on the specific areas outlined above will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent decades, teenage crimes have become a prevalent and publicly recognized phenomenon, engendering concern for society. There is a diverse array of reasons behind this, including the instability of psychology and the impacts of social media, along with remedial solutions for each of them to foster a safer environment for adolescents.

Regarding the causes, one of the most significant factors is the mental health changes and prolonged exposure to the Internet. First of all, teenagers, in their stage of becoming adults, undergo a shift in hormones and emotions which directly affects their thinking and behaviors, and may gradually form a tendency to develop self-identity and seek stimulation. As a result, the desire to prove themselves grows significantly, possibly leading to the action of engaging in criminal activities. Moreover, with the proliferation of technology, the Internet offers a wide range of violent content which is easily accessible to them. Consequently, prolonged exposure to such content normalizes illegal behavior, encouraging teenagers to engage in similar actions.

To address this noticeable issue, targeted approaches should be considered, including educational innovation and parental support. Lessons about this stage of life should be provided to teenagers who are struggling with psychological changes. Schools, by adding additional curricula about the changes they experience, significantly help teenagers navigate their emotions, adjust their activities, and avoid the tendency toward criminal participation. Additionally, open communication within families is necessary to better understand their difficulties and find suitable resolutions. Parents, by setting boundaries and offering harmful consequences for inappropriate use of social media, could reduce the risk of illegal activities stemming from the Internet on their offspring. Guardians should also encourage teenagers to share their experiences and feelings, supporting a safe environment where they can express themselves.

In conclusion, teenage crime is a complex issue with various factors involved, typically stemming from shifts in recognition and the effects of social media platforms. Therefore, communities and families need to engage in decreasing the tendency toward this problem, including the need to educate adolescents and promote family communication.