Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs.
What problems does this cause?
What are the solutions?

It is true that younger individuals are facing more competition from their older counterparts who need employment and apply for the same positions. Although various issues are associated with this trend, possible remedies are still available.
The growing competition between the two demographics would lead to two primary problems. Chief among these would be younger people’s job security, as their seniors often appear to have more experience. For example, retired teachers and graphic designers may highlight their extensive portfolios, enhancing their appeal to potential customers and employers. This would logically threaten younger individuals’ employment and hinder their future prospects. The other issue concerns synchronization in terms of work methods. In the same company, while the young tend to be more tech-savvy, using cloud storage and AI to elevate their productivity, the old may struggle with technology and prefer using traditional ways of storing and creating content. This difference could potentially affect their ability to work together, undermining both of their performance.
To address these problems, there are several possible solutions. Firstly, customers and employers can make their employment criteria less biased/ fairer, basing their decisions on actual work quality rather than age. While experience, cost and reliability are important considerations, they should give fair chances to all candidates and recruit the most suitable ones. In contrast, favoring one over the other could have unexpected consequences, as the old might be complacent, while the young can be impulsive and have low commitment. In case the two generations are in the same team, managers can mend their differences and ensure uniformity by establishing sensible standards, including ones related to work methods and tools. This can be followed with sessions during which younger employees can help their older colleagues with technology, and vice versa when practical insights are required.
In conclusion, as a growing number of older individuals compete with younger ones for the same jobs, the latter would face more challenges to secure their employment and coordinate with their older co-workers. These issues, nevertheless, could be tackled with fair recruitment criteria and effective managerial practices.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is true that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and assertive opening, which is more suitable for academic writing than the more conversational "It is true that."
"younger individuals are facing" -> "younger individuals face"
Explanation: The present tense "face" is more direct and concise, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.
"need employment and apply for the same positions" -> "seek employment and apply for the same positions"
Explanation: "Seek" is a more precise verb than "need" in this context, as it directly relates to the action of actively looking for employment.
"various issues are associated with this trend" -> "several challenges arise from this trend"
Explanation: "Challenges arise" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "issues are associated," which is somewhat vague.
"would lead to two primary problems" -> "would result in two primary challenges"
Explanation: "Result in" is a more precise verb choice than "lead to" in this context, and "challenges" is a more specific term than "problems" in an academic discussion of employment issues.
"their seniors often appear to have more experience" -> "their seniors frequently possess more experience"
Explanation: "Frequently possess" is more formal and precise than "often appear to have," which sounds less definitive.
"highlight their extensive portfolios" -> "emphasize their extensive portfolios"
Explanation: "Emphasize" is a more formal verb than "highlight," which is commonly used in less formal contexts.
"enhancing their appeal to potential customers and employers" -> "increasing their appeal to potential clients and employers"
Explanation: "Increasing" is a more formal synonym for "enhancing," and "clients" is a more precise term than "customers" in a professional context.
"The other issue concerns synchronization in terms of work methods" -> "Another issue pertains to synchronization in work methods"
Explanation: "Pertains to" is a more formal expression than "concerns," and removing "in terms of" simplifies the phrase without losing meaning.
"the young tend to be more tech-savvy" -> "the young are generally more tech-savvy"
Explanation: "Are generally" provides a more definitive and formal tone than "tend to be," which is somewhat informal.
"using cloud storage and AI to elevate their productivity" -> "utilizing cloud storage and AI to enhance their productivity"
Explanation: "Utilizing" and "enhance" are more formal and precise than "using" and "elevate," respectively.
"the old may struggle with technology" -> "older individuals may struggle with technology"
Explanation: "Older individuals" is a more respectful and formal term than "the old," which can be seen as derogatory.
"favoring one over the other could have unexpected consequences" -> "biasing towards one group could have unforeseen consequences"
Explanation: "Biasing towards" and "unforeseen" are more precise and formal terms than "favoring" and "unexpected," respectively.
"the old might be complacent" -> "older individuals might become complacent"
Explanation: "Older individuals" is a more respectful and formal term than "the old," and "become" is more specific than "might be."
"the young can be impulsive and have low commitment" -> "the young may exhibit impulsivity and lack commitment"
Explanation: "Exhibit impulsivity and lack commitment" uses more precise and formal language, avoiding the colloquial "can be" and "have low."
"mend their differences" -> "address their differences"
Explanation: "Address" is a more formal and precise verb than "mend," which is typically used for repairing physical things.
"sensible standards" -> "practical standards"
Explanation: "Practical" is more specific and appropriate in this context than "sensible," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"followed with sessions" -> "followed by sessions"
Explanation: "Followed by" is grammatically correct and more formal than "followed with."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying two significant problems: job security for younger individuals and difficulties in collaboration due to differing work methods. The discussion of these issues is relevant and well-articulated, providing specific examples such as retired teachers and graphic designers to illustrate the challenges faced by younger workers. However, while the problems are clearly outlined, the solutions could be more explicitly linked to the problems identified, enhancing the overall coherence of the response.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could benefit from a clearer connection between each problem and its corresponding solution. For instance, after discussing job security, the author could explicitly state how fair recruitment practices would alleviate this concern. Additionally, ensuring that each problem is followed by a direct solution would strengthen the overall structure and clarity.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, acknowledging the competition between older and younger workers while emphasizing the need for fair recruitment practices and effective management. The stance is consistent, and the author does not waver from the central argument. However, there are moments where the language could be more assertive in reinforcing the position, particularly in the solutions section.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity and consistency, the author could use more definitive language when presenting solutions. Phrases like "it is essential" or "it is crucial" could replace more tentative language, thereby reinforcing the importance of the proposed solutions. Additionally, reiterating the main position in the conclusion could further solidify the essay’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, with clear examples illustrating the problems faced by younger workers. The use of specific instances, such as the technological divide between generations, adds depth to the argument. However, some ideas could be further extended; for example, the discussion on how older workers might be complacent could benefit from additional elaboration or examples.
- How to improve: To improve the extension and support of ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed explanations or examples for each point made. For instance, elaborating on how younger workers can help older colleagues with technology could include specific training methods or programs that have been successful in other contexts. This would not only strengthen the argument but also provide a more comprehensive view of the solutions.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the competition between older and younger workers and the associated problems and solutions. There are no significant deviations from the prompt, and the discussion stays relevant to the issues raised. However, the mention of "customers and employers" in the solutions section could be more clearly tied back to the main topic of employment competition.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author could clarify the role of customers and employers in the context of the competition between age groups. For example, explicitly stating how fair recruitment practices benefit both employers and employees could enhance the relevance of this point. Additionally, ensuring that all examples directly relate back to the competition theme would further strengthen the essay’s focus.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the two main problems that will be discussed. The problems are presented in a coherent manner, with each paragraph focusing on a specific issue: job security and synchronization in work methods. The progression from identifying problems to proposing solutions is smooth and easy to follow, demonstrating a strong logical flow. For instance, the transition from discussing the problems to the solutions is effectively marked by the phrase "To address these problems," which clearly signals a shift in focus.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the problems, a brief summary or a transitional sentence could reinforce how these issues lead directly to the proposed solutions. This would help in making the connections even clearer for the reader.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The first body paragraph addresses the problems, while the second discusses potential solutions. This clear separation aids in readability and comprehension. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided to distinguish between the two proposed solutions, making it easier for the reader to digest each point.
- How to improve: Consider breaking the second body paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one for discussing the need for fairer employment criteria and another for the managerial practices that can help bridge the generational gap. This would not only enhance clarity but also allow for more in-depth discussion of each solution.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In contrast," and "This can be followed with," which help to guide the reader through the argument. The use of examples, such as retired teachers and graphic designers, effectively illustrates the points made. However, the essay could benefit from a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow and connection between ideas. For example, the use of synonyms or paraphrasing could help avoid repetition and maintain reader engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a mix of conjunctions, transitional phrases, and referential pronouns. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "the old" and "the young," consider using "older employees" and "younger workers" in different sections. Additionally, using phrases like "Moreover" or "Furthermore" can help to add depth and continuity to the argument, particularly when introducing new ideas or elaborating on existing ones.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay can achieve an even higher level of clarity and engagement for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "counterparts," "demographics," "job security," and "tech-savvy" effectively used to convey complex ideas. The writer employs varied expressions to discuss the issues and solutions, which reflects an ability to articulate thoughts clearly. However, some phrases, such as "the old" and "the young," could be perceived as overly simplistic or informal in an academic context.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or more formal expressions. For instance, instead of "the old," you could use "older individuals" or "senior workers." Additionally, incorporating more academic vocabulary related to employment and technology could further elevate the essay’s language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "enhancing their appeal" and "potential customers and employers" used correctly. However, the phrase "favoring one over the other could have unexpected consequences" lacks specificity; it would benefit from clearer articulation of what these consequences might entail. The use of "mend their differences" is also slightly imprecise, as "mend" typically refers to fixing something broken rather than reconciling differences.
- How to improve: To improve precision, clarify ambiguous phrases. For example, instead of "unexpected consequences," specify what these might be, such as "potential workplace conflicts" or "reduced team cohesion." Additionally, consider replacing "mend their differences" with "bridge their differences" to convey a more accurate meaning.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a strong command of spelling, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words like "experience," "technology," and "productivity" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, it is always beneficial to maintain this level of accuracy by proofreading the essay multiple times. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or writing software can help catch any potential errors. Additionally, regularly practicing spelling through reading and writing exercises can reinforce this skill.

In summary, the essay achieves a Band Score of 7 for Lexical Resource due to its effective use of a wide range of vocabulary and correct spelling, while it can improve in precision and variety. By incorporating more formal expressions and clarifying ambiguous phrases, the writer can enhance the overall quality and sophistication of their lexical choices.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "Although various issues are associated with this trend, possible remedies are still available," which effectively introduces a contrasting idea. Additionally, the writer employs conditional structures, as seen in "In case the two generations are in the same team," which adds depth to the argument. However, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and the inclusion of more compound-complex sentences to further enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should consider varying the beginnings of sentences to avoid monotony. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "The," they could use adverbial phrases or clauses, such as "In light of this competition," or "Considering the technological divide," to create more engaging openings. Additionally, incorporating more relative clauses could enhance the complexity of the sentences, such as "Younger individuals, who are often more tech-savvy, may find it challenging to work alongside older colleagues."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "less biased/ fairer" could be improved for clarity and grammatical correctness; it would be more effective to use "less biased" or "fairer" but not both together. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses. However, there are instances where punctuation could be improved, such as in the sentence "In contrast, favoring one over the other could have unexpected consequences, as the old might be complacent, while the young can be impulsive and have low commitment," where the use of "can" could be replaced with "may" for consistency in modality.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread for minor errors and consider using a grammar-checking tool. Additionally, focusing on consistent verb forms and tenses will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay. For example, ensuring that all verbs align in terms of modality (using "may" instead of "can" for hypothetical situations) will improve clarity and precision. Furthermore, the writer should be cautious with punctuation, ensuring that commas are used correctly to avoid run-on sentences and to clarify meaning.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a clear argument with relevant examples. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can further enhance their writing skills and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that younger individuals are facing more competition from their older counterparts who need employment and apply for the same positions. Although several challenges arise from this trend, possible remedies are still available.

The growing competition between the two demographics would result in two primary challenges. Chief among these would be younger people’s job security, as their seniors frequently possess more experience. For example, retired teachers and graphic designers may emphasize their extensive portfolios, increasing their appeal to potential clients and employers. This would logically threaten younger individuals’ employment and hinder their future prospects. The other issue pertains to synchronization in work methods. In the same company, while the young are generally more tech-savvy, utilizing cloud storage and AI to enhance their productivity, older individuals may struggle with technology and prefer using traditional ways of storing and creating content. This difference could potentially affect their ability to work together, undermining both of their performances.

To address these problems, there are several possible solutions. Firstly, clients and employers can make their employment criteria fairer, basing their decisions on actual work quality rather than age. While experience, cost, and reliability are important considerations, they should give fair chances to all candidates and recruit the most suitable ones. In contrast, biasing towards one group could have unforeseen consequences, as older individuals might become complacent, while the young may exhibit impulsivity and lack commitment. If the two generations are in the same team, managers can address their differences and ensure uniformity by establishing practical standards, including those related to work methods and tools. This can be followed by sessions during which younger employees can help their older colleagues with technology, and vice versa when practical insights are required.

In conclusion, as a growing number of older individuals compete with younger ones for the same jobs, the latter would face more challenges to secure their employment and coordinate with their older co-workers. These issues, nevertheless, could be tackled with fair recruitment criteria and effective managerial practices.