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Nowadays people have expectations to get things instantly (news, products, services) and do not want to wait. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays people have expectations to get things instantly (news, products, services) and do not want to wait. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

People nowadays have a high expectation for instant gratification, including news, products, services and do not want to wait. The breakthrough of technology and fast-paced lifestyle are two main contributors to this state of affairs and in my opinion, this is actually a negative development.
First, the expectation for getting things instantly comes from the advancement of technology, at least for the last 2 decades. This is because technological devices enable individuals to get access to information and other amenities in a simple and convenient way. An example for this is online shopping, which allows consumers to choose and purchase whatever they want without having to queue. Companies, such as Alibaba and Amazon, have expanded their coverage networking system, offering the shortest delivery time for online shoppers in the world. This is further compounded by the fact that in technology-driven societies, the hustle essence of working climate has conditioned people to require things around them to follow their speed. Th fast-paced lifestyle also limits time of people to wait. As evidenced by the way they communicate, in which they often require quick response and message reply and deny waiting.
While this trend can somewhat enhance the overall productivity and increase the convenience for humans, I would contend that its detrimental effects are far more significant. One major problem is that the constant flow of infomation available will make people feel overwhelmed and prone to fatigue. It is reported that workers feel increasingly doubt about their ability and cannot convince themselves that they have done adequately. This is because a vast amount of knowledge that is constantly provided can lead them to believe that what they have known and done is negligible. The dopamine rush released when catching breaking news or products and services can become mentally occupied, which makes their head have no space for rest and relaxation. Worse still, the fast-paced lifestyle and the technological development can concomitantly give rise to the loss of patience and the over-reliance on technology, posing a stultifying effect on our creativity and innovation. For example, students often use Q&A websites which provide immediate anwers to any tough questons they have. This has led them to be lazy to brainstorm and logically think, hindering the academic and personal growth of students.
In conclusion, the instant gratification people often expect to have can be ascribed to the rapid advancement of technology and the acceleration of lifestyles. Given the aforementioned effects of it, I would contend that this propensity is detrimental to humans in various aspects.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "People nowadays" -> "Individuals in contemporary society"
    Explanation: Replacing "People nowadays" with "Individuals in contemporary society" adds formality and specificity to the introduction, aligning with academic style.

  2. "have a high expectation" -> "harbor elevated expectations"
    Explanation: Substituting "have a high expectation" with "harbor elevated expectations" elevates the vocabulary level and contributes to a more formal tone.

  3. "instant gratification" -> "immediate satisfaction"
    Explanation: Replacing "instant gratification" with "immediate satisfaction" maintains the intended meaning while using a more formal and precise term.

  4. "do not want to wait" -> "display a reluctance to endure delays"
    Explanation: Changing "do not want to wait" to "display a reluctance to endure delays" enhances the formality of the expression and provides a more elaborate description.

  5. "state of affairs" -> "condition"
    Explanation: Substituting "state of affairs" with "condition" contributes to a more formal and concise expression.

  6. "breakthrough of technology" -> "advancement of technology"
    Explanation: Changing "breakthrough of technology" to "advancement of technology" aligns with a more accurate and formal term commonly used in academic contexts.

  7. "in my opinion" -> "from my perspective"
    Explanation: Replacing "in my opinion" with "from my perspective" maintains the author’s viewpoint while using a more formal phrase.

  8. "get access to" -> "gain access to"
    Explanation: Substituting "get access to" with "gain access to" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea.

  9. "A good example for this is" -> "Illustratively, this is evident in"
    Explanation: Changing "A good example for this is" to "Illustratively, this is evident in" enhances the formality and academic style of the sentence.

  10. "whatever they want" -> "their desired items"
    Explanation: Replacing "whatever they want" with "their desired items" adds specificity and formality to the statement.

  11. "queue" -> "wait in line"
    Explanation: Substituting "queue" with "wait in line" is a more formal and widely accepted term in academic writing.

  12. "Companies, such as Alibaba and Amazon" -> "Corporations like Alibaba and Amazon"
    Explanation: Changing "Companies, such as Alibaba and Amazon" to "Corporations like Alibaba and Amazon" contributes to a more formal and academic tone.

  13. "coverage networking system" -> "logistics network"
    Explanation: Replacing "coverage networking system" with "logistics network" is a more precise and formal expression in the context of online shopping.

  14. "Th fast-paced lifestyle" -> "The fast-paced lifestyle"
    Explanation: Correcting the typo by replacing "Th fast-paced lifestyle" with "The fast-paced lifestyle."

  15. "deny waiting" -> "refuse to tolerate delays"
    Explanation: Substituting "deny waiting" with "refuse to tolerate delays" enhances the formality and precision of the expression.

  16. "While this trend can somewhat enhance" -> "Although this trend may somewhat enhance"
    Explanation: Replacing "While this trend can somewhat enhance" with "Although this trend may somewhat enhance" adds formality and precision to the statement.

  17. "overall productivity" -> "general productivity"
    Explanation: Changing "overall productivity" to "general productivity" contributes to a more formal and academic expression.

  18. "infomation" -> "information"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error by replacing "infomation" with "information."

  19. "prone to fatigue" -> "vulnerable to fatigue"
    Explanation: Substituting "prone to fatigue" with "vulnerable to fatigue" is a more formal and precise expression.

  20. "doubt about their ability" -> "doubt regarding their abilities"
    Explanation: Changing "doubt about their ability" to "doubt regarding their abilities" adds formality and precision to the statement.

  21. "mentally occupied" -> "mentally preoccupied"
    Explanation: Replacing "mentally occupied" with "mentally preoccupied" maintains the meaning while using a more formal term.

  22. "breaking news or products and services" -> "breaking news or new products and services"
    Explanation: Adding "new" to "breaking news or products and services" provides clarity and specificity.

  23. "stultifying effect" -> "inhibiting effect"
    Explanation: Substituting "stultifying effect" with "inhibiting effect" is a more formal and precise term.

  24. "Q&A websites which provide immediate anwers" -> "Q&A websites that provide immediate answers"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling and grammar error by replacing "Q&A websites which provide immediate anwers" with "Q&A websites that provide immediate answers."

  25. "tough questons" -> "challenging questions"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error by replacing "tough questons" with "challenging questions."

  26. "This has led them to be lazy" -> "This has led to a tendency for them to be lazy"
    Explanation: Expanding and refining the statement by changing "This has led them to be lazy" to "This has led to a tendency for them to be lazy," contributing to a more formal and precise expression.

  27. "brainstorm and logically think" -> "engage in brainstorming and logical reasoning"
    Explanation: Enhancing the formality and precision of the statement by replacing "brainstorm and logically think" with "engage in brainstorming and logical reasoning."

  28. "instant gratification people often expect to have" -> "anticipated instant gratification"
    Explanation: Substituting "instant gratification people often expect to have" with "anticipated instant gratification" adds formality and precision to the conclusion.

  29. "ascribed to" -> "attributed to"
    Explanation: Changing "ascribed to" to "attributed to" is a more formal and precise term in the given context.

  30. "the rapid advancement of technology and the acceleration of lifestyles" -> "the swift progression of technology and the hastening of lifestyles"
    Explanation: Replacing "the rapid advancement of technology and the acceleration of lifestyles" with "the swift progression of technology and the hastening of lifestyles" maintains the meaning while using more formal and precise terms.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "The breakthrough of technology and fast-paced lifestyle are two main contributors to this state of affairs and in my opinion, this is actually a negative development."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction effectively presents the writer’s stance on the topic and mentions the contributing factors. However, to enhance clarity, it would be beneficial to briefly outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This could provide a roadmap for the reader and improve the overall structure of the essay.
    • Improved example: "The breakthrough of technology and the prevalence of a fast-paced lifestyle are pivotal factors contributing to the contemporary expectation for instant gratification. In this essay, I will delve into the negative implications of this trend, focusing on its impact on information overload and the diminishing patience and creativity of individuals."
  2. Quoted text: "This is because technological devices enable individuals to get access to information and other amenities in a simple and convenient way."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the point is valid, the explanation lacks depth and specific examples. To strengthen the argument, provide concrete instances or experiences that illustrate how technological devices simplify access to information and amenities. This would add substance to the writer’s position and make the essay more persuasive.
    • Improved example: "For instance, the ubiquity of smartphones allows individuals to effortlessly access a plethora of information and services with just a few taps. This convenience has revolutionized the way we shop, learn, and stay informed, contributing significantly to the expectation for instant gratification."
  3. Quoted text: "As evidenced by the way they communicate, in which they often require quick response and message reply and deny waiting."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The idea is presented, but it lacks clarity and could be further developed. Provide specific examples of how people’s communication patterns reflect the aversion to waiting, reinforcing the argument and making it more convincing.
    • Improved example: "A clear manifestation of this trend is observed in modern communication habits. Individuals, accustomed to instant messaging apps, expect swift responses and express impatience when faced with delays. This impatience is symptomatic of the broader societal shift towards instant gratification."

Overall, the essay addresses the task and presents a clear position. However, to elevate the response to a higher band score, the writer should focus on providing more in-depth explanations and incorporating specific examples to support their points.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of ideas, maintaining clear progression throughout. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the topic, and each paragraph contributes to the development of the argument. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, although there are instances of overuse and a few areas where referencing could be clearer. The writer skillfully manages paragraphing, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:

  1. Cohesive Devices: While the essay generally uses cohesive devices appropriately, there are instances of overuse. Ensure that cohesive devices are used judiciously to avoid redundancy and enhance clarity.

  2. Referencing: Some areas could benefit from clearer referencing. Make sure that the connections between ideas are explicitly stated to improve overall coherence.

  3. Paragraphing: While the essay manages paragraphing well, pay attention to maintaining logical transitions between paragraphs. This will enhance the overall flow of ideas and coherence.

  4. Avoid Repetition: Watch for repetitive phrases or ideas, particularly in the conclusion. Ensure that each point adds unique value to the overall argument without unnecessary repetition.

By addressing these areas, the essay can further enhance its coherence and cohesion, potentially reaching a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing some flexibility and precision. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, such as "propensity" and "concomitantly," with an awareness of style and collocation. While occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation are present, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively conveys the intended message and demonstrates a good command of vocabulary throughout.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource, consider incorporating a more diverse range of vocabulary and refining word choices for greater precision. Review and correct minor errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation to improve overall accuracy. Additionally, strive for a seamless integration of less common lexical items to further elevate the essay’s sophistication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of a variety of complex structures, contributing to a band score of 7.0. The writer effectively employs a mix of sentence forms, including both simple and complex structures. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay exhibits good control of grammar and punctuation overall.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer can focus on eliminating minor errors, especially in subject-verb agreement and word choice. Additionally, paying attention to sentence structure variety can further elevate the essay’s overall quality. Consider proofreading carefully to catch and rectify occasional errors for a smoother flow.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, individuals harbor elevated expectations for immediate satisfaction, encompassing news, products, and services, displaying a reluctance to endure delays. From my perspective, this trend is primarily driven by the swift progression of technology and the hastening of lifestyles. Although this desire for instant gratification may, to some extent, enhance general productivity, I firmly believe it brings about more negative consequences.

The expectation for instant access to information and amenities stems from the advancement of technology over the last two decades. Technological devices enable individuals to gain access to information conveniently. Online shopping, for instance, allows consumers to choose and purchase desired items without the need to wait in line. Corporations like Alibaba and Amazon have expanded their logistics networks, providing the shortest delivery time for online shoppers globally. The fast-paced lifestyle, conditioned by the hustle essence of the working climate, further contributes to people’s refusal to tolerate delays, as observed in their communication patterns, where quick responses are preferred over waiting.

While the immediate gratification trend may contribute to enhanced overall productivity and convenience, I argue that its detrimental effects outweigh the benefits. One significant problem is the constant flow of information, which can overwhelm individuals and render them vulnerable to fatigue. Workers, in particular, may experience doubt regarding their abilities, as the vast amount of knowledge available may lead them to perceive their efforts as negligible. The dopamine rush experienced when receiving breaking news or discovering new products and services can mentally preoccupy individuals, leaving little space for rest and relaxation.

Moreover, the rapid pace of life and technological advancements can contribute to a loss of patience and an over-reliance on technology, inhibiting creativity and innovation. For instance, the availability of Q&A websites that provide immediate answers to challenging questions has led to a tendency for individuals to be lazy in engaging in brainstorming and logical reasoning, hindering academic and personal growth.

In conclusion, the prevalent expectation for instant gratification is attributed to the rapid advancement of technology and the acceleration of lifestyles. Despite potential benefits, such as increased productivity, the negative consequences, including information overload, mental fatigue, and a hindrance to creativity, underscore the detrimental impact of this trend on individuals in various aspects.

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