People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

With the strongly develop of technology, some people said that nowaday, the quality of life is better than the past. Personally, i think although there are something in the past can not be replace, i strongly believe that quality of our modern life become better
on the other hand, i strongly believe that past life had something special that can be ignored. first of all, people in the past spent more time for each other. Nowaday, a huge of task in workplace and school make people get more stress and always busy. additionally, young people focus more on internet to relieve stress, chat with their friends. As a result, the time for meet and talk with friends, family and other people is too short. this, make people more distant with another in their life, or even get bored with their life and become depression.
On the other hand, our modern life can be significantly improved in many aspects.Firstly, our life be more convenient. As technology helps us to connect with people from all over the world without worrying about distance and cost. Moreover, human can be helped in their workplace, so they will get less stress.For example: robots can help people to reduce amount of time for work
in conclusion, though there are still have something in the past can not be completely ignored, i strongly believe that our life be strongly improved in many aspects

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"strongly develop" -> "significant development"
Explanation: "Strongly develop" is awkward phrasing. "Significant development" is a more formal and precise term to describe advancements in technology.
"nowaday" -> "nowadays"
Explanation: "Nowaday" is a misspelling. "Nowadays" is the correct adverb to refer to the current time or present era.
"quality of life is better than the past" -> "quality of life has improved compared to the past"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks precision and formal language. "Has improved compared to the past" provides a clearer and more academically appropriate description.
"Personally, i think" -> "Personally, I believe"
Explanation: While not incorrect, using "think" can sound less formal. "Believe" is a more suitable term for expressing personal opinion in academic writing.
"although there are something in the past can not be replace" -> "although there are aspects of the past that cannot be replaced"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "Aspects of the past that cannot be replaced" provides a clearer and more precise expression.
"nowaday" -> "nowadays"
Explanation: Consistency in spelling is essential for formal writing. "Nowadays" is the correct spelling of the word.
"First of all" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "Firstly" is a more formal transition phrase commonly used in academic writing to introduce the first point.
"Nowaday" -> "Nowadays"
Explanation: Consistency in spelling is crucial. "Nowadays" should be capitalized at the beginning of the sentence.
"a huge of task" -> "a multitude of tasks"
Explanation: "A huge of task" is grammatically incorrect. "A multitude of tasks" is a more formal and precise expression.
"make people get more stress" -> "cause people to experience more stress"
Explanation: "Make people get more stress" is awkward and lacks formality. "Cause people to experience more stress" is a clearer and more formal alternative.
"Nowaday" -> "Nowadays"
Explanation: Consistency in spelling is essential. "Nowadays" should be consistently spelled correctly.
"As a result, the time for meet and talk with friends" -> "As a result, the time for meeting and talking with friends"
Explanation: "For meet and talk with friends" is grammatically incorrect. Using "meeting and talking with friends" is more appropriate.
"this, make people more distant with another" -> "This makes people more distant from one another"
Explanation: "This, make people more distant with another" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "This makes people more distant from one another" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"our modern life can be significantly improved in many aspects" -> "our modern life has experienced significant improvement in various aspects"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks precision and clarity. "Has experienced significant improvement in various aspects" provides a clearer and more formal description.
"be" -> "has been"
Explanation: "Be" should be replaced with "has been" to maintain grammatical correctness and formal tone.
"For example: robots can help people to reduce amount of time for work" -> "For example, robots can assist in reducing the amount of time spent on work tasks."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and precision. Replacing it with "For example, robots can assist in reducing the amount of time spent on work tasks" offers a more formal and precise expression.
"though there are still have something in the past can not be completely ignored" -> "though there are still aspects of the past that cannot be completely ignored"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and lacks clarity. "Though there are still aspects of the past that cannot be completely ignored" provides a clearer and more formal expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing both the advantages of modern life and acknowledging some merits of the past. However, it lacks depth in exploring the extent to which life quality has improved in the 21st century compared to previous centuries. The essay could benefit from a more thorough examination of various aspects of life quality and how they have evolved over time.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that each part of the prompt is thoroughly analyzed. Provide specific examples and evidence to support assertions about life quality in both the past and present. Aim for a more balanced discussion that considers different perspectives before arriving at a conclusion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay’s position is somewhat clear but lacks consistency. While the author leans towards agreeing that modern life quality is better, there are moments where they acknowledge the value of the past. This inconsistency weakens the clarity of the stance presented.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position throughout the essay, it’s essential to articulate a definitive viewpoint early on and consistently reinforce it throughout the essay. Limit equivocal statements that undermine the strength of the argument. Provide compelling reasons to support the chosen position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas about the differences between past and modern life quality, such as increased stress and busyness in contemporary society and the convenience brought about by technology. However, these ideas lack development and are not sufficiently supported with examples or analysis.
- How to improve: To enhance idea presentation, extend each point by providing more detailed explanations, examples, and relevant evidence. Strengthen the argument by connecting ideas logically and cohesively. Utilize real-life examples, statistics, or expert opinions to bolster the essay’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the comparison between life quality in the past and the present. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing stress relief methods among young people.
- How to improve: To stay on topic more effectively, maintain a clear connection between each point discussed and its relevance to the overarching theme of life quality in different time periods. Avoid tangential discussions that detract from the central argument and ensure each paragraph contributes directly to addressing the prompt.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and presents some valid points about modern life quality, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of analysis, consistency of position, idea development, and maintaining focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a moderate level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction that introduces the topic and the writer’s stance. However, the transition from the introduction to the body paragraphs could be smoother. The body paragraphs discuss contrasting views regarding the quality of life in the past and present, which is logically coherent. Each paragraph presents a clear idea, although there is room for improvement in the coherence between sentences within the paragraphs. The conclusion briefly summarizes the main points and restates the writer’s opinion. Overall, the essay demonstrates a basic ability to organize information logically but lacks depth and consistency in transitions and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, focus on improving the flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas more effectively. Within paragraphs, ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence by maintaining a clear topic and supporting the main idea with relevant examples or explanations.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to structure its content. There is an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the structure within paragraphs is inconsistent. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear separation, leading to confusion. For instance, the second body paragraph combines discussion on stress and technology without a clear transition. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea or argument, with supporting details provided in a logical sequence. Improved paragraphing would enhance readability and coherence.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph addresses only one main idea or argument, with a clear topic sentence at the beginning. Support the topic sentence with relevant examples or explanations, and use transitional words or phrases to guide the reader through the paragraph’s progression of ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses a limited range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions ("firstly," "on the other hand," "in conclusion") and pronouns ("this"). While these devices provide some coherence by signaling transitions between ideas, their usage is basic and repetitive. More sophisticated cohesive devices, such as referencing pronouns (e.g., "these," "those") or cohesive conjunctions (e.g., "furthermore," "nevertheless"), could enhance coherence and cohesion.
- How to improve: Expand the variety of cohesive devices used in the essay to include a wider range of conjunctions, transitional phrases, and referencing pronouns. This will create smoother transitions between ideas and improve overall coherence. Additionally, pay attention to the appropriate placement of these devices to ensure clarity and effectiveness in signaling connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, though there are instances where more varied and precise word choices could enhance clarity and depth of expression. For instance, the essay could benefit from employing a wider array of synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary to convey ideas with nuance and precision.
- Example: The phrase "strongly develop of technology" could be replaced with "rapid advancement of technology" for greater precision and clarity.
- How to improve: To expand the range of vocabulary, the writer should explore synonyms and more advanced vocabulary relevant to the essay topic. Reading widely and noting new words encountered can aid in this endeavor. Additionally, incorporating vocabulary from diverse sources such as literature, academic articles, or reputable online resources can enrich the writer’s lexical repertoire.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally lacks precision in vocabulary usage, leading to instances where meanings may be ambiguous or imprecise. For instance, the phrase "technology helps us to connect with people" could be more precisely expressed as "technology facilitates global communication."
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should strive to choose words that accurately convey their intended meaning. Consulting a thesaurus or dictionary to find the most fitting word for a given context can assist in selecting precise vocabulary. Additionally, paying attention to how words are used in context in reputable sources can enhance the writer’s understanding of their nuanced meanings.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some spelling errors, which, while not pervasive, detract from the overall readability and professionalism of the writing. For instance, "nowaday" should be "nowadays," "improved" is misspelled as "improvement," and "strongly develop" should be "strong development."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should consider utilizing spell-check tools available in word processing software or online text editors. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully before submission and consulting a dictionary to confirm spellings of unfamiliar words can help eliminate spelling errors. Regular practice in writing and spelling can also contribute to greater proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic variety of sentence structures, including simple sentences, compound sentences, and a few complex sentences. For instance, there is usage of simple sentences ("On the other hand"), compound sentences ("As a result, the time for meet and talk with friends, family and other people is too short"), and a complex sentence ("As technology helps us to connect with people from all over the world without worrying about distance and cost"). However, the range is limited, and the effectiveness of these structures varies.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses, participial phrases, and conditional sentences. This will improve the essay’s coherence and demonstrate a higher level of syntactic control.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a number of grammatical and punctuation errors that affect clarity and precision. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("people in the past spent more time for each other"), articles ("the time for meet and talk with friends"), and punctuation (missing commas, inconsistent capitalization). These errors sometimes impede understanding.
- How to improve: Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by practicing correct subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation rules. Reviewing these elements in context will help you understand where corrections are needed. Additionally, proofreading essays to correct errors in real-time can help improve accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a sufficient level of grammatical range and accuracy to achieve a band score of 6. However, to improve to a higher band score, you should work on diversifying your sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy. This will help increase clarity and coherence in your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the significant development of technology, some people argue that nowadays, the quality of life is better than in the past. Personally, I believe that although there are aspects of the past that cannot be replaced, our modern life has experienced significant improvement in various aspects.

Firstly, people in the past spent more time with each other. Nowadays, a multitude of tasks in workplaces and schools cause people to experience more stress and busyness. Additionally, young people often turn to the internet to relieve stress and chat with their friends. As a result, the time for meeting and talking with friends, family, and others is reduced. This makes people more distant from one another in their daily lives, or even leads to boredom and depression.

On the other hand, our modern life has seen significant improvements. Firstly, our lives have become more convenient. Technology enables us to connect with people around the world without worrying about distance and cost. Moreover, technology assists humans in their workplaces, thereby reducing stress levels. For example, robots can assist in reducing the amount of time spent on work tasks.

In conclusion, although there are still aspects of the past that cannot be completely ignored, I strongly believe that our modern life has been significantly improved in various aspects.