people naturally resist making changes in their life. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest ?

Nowadays, life is more and more developped, but it means that the people who oppose access the modern life appear . It is quite difficult to transform the way they live. So in this essay i will give some cause and suggest the solution for this problem.

There are many reason why people against change their life. The main cause is that life develop too quickly hơehowever they too familiar with the old way of life. New life with technology and modern device, which lead to the elderly people can not adapt to modern life. Another reason is that they considered that change life also creaate a big distance between generations, so they are not accept change their life. For example, nowadays young generation have access to technology early so they fluently in use technology, in contrast their parent are rarely use, so they can not understand their children.

Adapting new life is really necessary, so i will suggest some sollution for this problem. Firstly organize propaganda to help the elderly and people who have not yet accessed modern life understand the importance of changing their lifestyle, or organize training, instruct them on how to use technological device. Secondly, young generation should shorten the distance with their parents by talking and helping them in access new life.

In concusion, the main reaseon why people oppose access the new life is that the life develop too quickly and they wrong ideas about changing their lives, so the young generation should help their parent how to adapt to new life.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays, life is more and more developped" -> "In recent times, life has become increasingly developed"
Explanation: "Developped" is a nonstandard verb form. Using "has become increasingly developed" corrects the verb tense and enhances the formality of the statement.
"the people who oppose access the modern life appear" -> "those who resist modern life emerge"
Explanation: "Oppose access the modern life appear" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Resist modern life emerge" corrects the grammatical structure and uses more precise vocabulary.
"So in this essay i will give some cause and suggest the solution for this problem." -> "Thus, in this essay, I will discuss the causes and propose solutions to this issue."
Explanation: "So in this essay i will give some cause and suggest the solution for this problem" is informal and grammatically incorrect. The revised version corrects these issues and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.
"reason why people against change their life" -> "reasons why people resist changing their lives"
Explanation: "Reason why people against change their life" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Reasons why people resist changing their lives" corrects the grammar and enhances clarity.
"life develop too quickly hơehowever they too familiar with the old way of life" -> "life develops too quickly, however, they are too familiar with the old way of life"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and lacks proper punctuation. Adding a comma and correcting the verb tense improves readability and correctness.
"New life with technology and modern device" -> "New life with technology and modern devices"
Explanation: "Modern device" should be plural to match the plural noun "devices" to maintain grammatical consistency.
"which lead to the elderly people can not adapt to modern life" -> "which leads the elderly to being unable to adapt to modern life"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects these issues and improves readability.
"they considered that change life also creaate a big distance between generations" -> "they believe that changing their lives also creates a significant distance between generations"
Explanation: "Considered that change life also creaate a big distance" is grammatically incorrect and informal. The revised version corrects these issues and uses more precise language.
"so they are not accept change their life" -> "so they do not accept changing their lives"
Explanation: "Not accept change their life" is grammatically incorrect. "Do not accept changing their lives" corrects the verb tense and pluralizes "life" for grammatical agreement.
"young generation have access to technology early so they fluently in use technology" -> "the young generation has early access to technology, making them fluent in its use"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects these issues and improves clarity and formality.
"instruct them on how to use technological device" -> "instruct them on the use of technological devices"
Explanation: "Use technological device" is grammatically incorrect. "The use of technological devices" corrects this and maintains a formal tone.
"shorten the distance with their parents" -> "narrow the gap with their parents"
Explanation: "Shorten the distance" is less formal and slightly vague. "Narrow the gap" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"In concusion" -> "In conclusion"
Explanation: "In concusion" is a typographical error. "In conclusion" is the correct term for ending an essay.
"the main reaseon why people oppose access the new life" -> "the primary reason why people resist accessing new life"
Explanation: "Reaseon" is a typographical error, and "oppose access the new life" is grammatically incorrect. "Resist accessing new life" corrects these issues and enhances formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying problems caused by resistance to change and suggesting solutions. The problems mentioned include difficulty adapting to modern life and generational gaps in technology use. However, the explanations are somewhat vague and lack depth. For instance, while the essay notes that elderly people struggle with technology, it does not explore the implications of this resistance in detail, such as social isolation or decreased quality of life.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more specific examples and elaborate on the consequences of resisting change. For instance, discussing how technological resistance can affect employment opportunities or social interactions would strengthen the argument. Additionally, ensuring that all parts of the question are fully addressed with clear examples will improve the overall response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that change is necessary, particularly for the elderly. However, the clarity of this position fluctuates. In some sections, the argument is clear, such as when discussing the need for training for the elderly. Yet, in other parts, the phrasing is ambiguous, such as "they wrong ideas about changing their lives," which detracts from the overall clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use straightforward language and avoid vague phrases. Clearly stating the main argument in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion can help reinforce the position. Additionally, using transitional phrases can guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the need for training and communication between generations. However, these ideas are not fully developed. For example, the suggestion to "organize propaganda" is unclear and lacks detail about what this would entail or how it would be effective. The supporting examples provided are also limited, which weakens the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to elaborate on each idea presented. For instance, instead of simply stating that training should be organized, the writer could describe specific types of training programs or workshops that could be beneficial. Additionally, providing more detailed examples or statistics to support claims would enhance the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the problems of resisting change and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing generational differences without clearly linking it back to the main argument about resistance to change. This can create confusion for the reader regarding the main point of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central thesis. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help clarify the main idea being discussed. Additionally, reviewing the essay to eliminate any tangential points that do not contribute to the overall argument will strengthen the coherence of the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and presents relevant ideas, it requires more depth, clarity, and focus to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the introduction states the intention to discuss causes and solutions, but the transition between discussing causes and solutions is somewhat abrupt. The first body paragraph discusses reasons for resistance to change, while the second body paragraph shifts to solutions without a clear linking sentence that ties the two sections together. This can confuse readers about how the points relate to each other.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases at the end of each paragraph to link ideas. For example, after discussing the causes, a sentence like "Having explored the reasons for resistance, it is essential to consider potential solutions" would provide a smoother transition to the next section.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into two distinct paragraphs: one for the solutions aimed at the elderly and another for the younger generation’s role. This would allow for a clearer presentation of ideas and make it easier for the reader to follow.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down larger paragraphs into smaller ones when discussing multiple ideas. For instance, after suggesting training for the elderly, a new paragraph could begin with the suggestion for the younger generation to bridge the gap, allowing for a more focused discussion on each solution.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "for example," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "Another reason is that they considered that change life also creaate a big distance between generations" lacks a cohesive device that would better integrate it into the previous sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Consequently," and "On the other hand." This will help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow. Additionally, reviewing the use of pronouns and synonyms can help to avoid repetition and create smoother transitions between sentences.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can enhance its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, but it lacks variety and sophistication. For instance, terms like "modern life," "technology," and "change" are repeated without synonyms or alternatives. Phrases such as "life is more and more developped" and "transform the way they live" show an attempt to convey complex ideas, but they could be expressed with more varied vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "modern life," they could use "contemporary lifestyle," "current way of living," or "advancements in society." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help diversify word choice.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "the people who oppose access the modern life" is awkwardly phrased and could be more clearly expressed as "those who resist embracing modern life." Additionally, "change life" should be "changing their lives," and "creaate" is a misspelling that detracts from clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using phrases that accurately convey their intended meaning. Regularly practicing writing and seeking feedback can help identify areas where vocabulary may be unclear or misused. Additionally, reviewing grammar and syntax rules can aid in constructing clearer sentences.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "developped" (should be "developed"), "hơehowever" (should be "however"), "sollution" (should be "solution"), and "reaseon" (should be "reason"). These errors can significantly impact the readability of the essay and distract the reader from the content.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reinforce correct spelling. Engaging in regular writing exercises will also provide opportunities to practice and improve spelling skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to address the prompt, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that could enhance clarity and engagement. For example, sentences like "There are many reason why people against change their life" and "Adapting new life is really necessary" show basic structure but do not utilize more sophisticated forms such as complex sentences or varied clauses. The use of phrases like "which lead to the elderly people can not adapt" indicates an attempt at complexity but ultimately fails to achieve grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "Another reason is that they considered that change life also creaate a big distance between generations," the writer could say, "Another reason is that many individuals believe that changing their lifestyle creates a significant distance between generations, which can lead to misunderstandings." This not only adds variety but also improves clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder comprehension. For example, "the people who oppose access the modern life appear" is awkwardly phrased and grammatically incorrect. The phrase "life develop too quickly hơehowever" contains a typographical error and lacks proper punctuation. Additionally, the use of "i" instead of "I" and inconsistent spacing between paragraphs detracts from the overall professionalism of the writing. The incorrect use of plural forms, such as "reason" instead of "reasons," also contributes to the grammatical inaccuracies.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and correct pluralization. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help in this regard. Furthermore, proofreading for punctuation errors and typographical mistakes before submission would significantly improve the quality of the writing. For example, the writer should revise "in concusion" to "In conclusion" and ensure that all sentences start with a capital letter.

Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical precision will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, life is becoming increasingly developed, but it means that people who oppose access to modern life appear. It is quite difficult for them to transform the way they live. Thus, in this essay, I will discuss some causes and propose solutions to this issue.

There are many reasons why people resist changing their lives. The main cause is that life develops too quickly; however, they are too familiar with the old way of life. New life with technology and modern devices leads to elderly people being unable to adapt to modern life. Another reason is that they believe that changing their lives also creates a significant distance between generations, so they do not accept changing their lives. For example, nowadays, the young generation has early access to technology, making them fluent in its use. In contrast, their parents rarely use it, so they cannot understand their children.

Adapting to new life is really necessary, so I will suggest some solutions for this problem. Firstly, organizing campaigns to help the elderly and people who have not yet accessed modern life understand the importance of changing their lifestyle is essential. Additionally, training sessions could instruct them on how to use technological devices. Secondly, the young generation should narrow the gap with their parents by talking and helping them access new life.

In conclusion, the primary reason why people resist accessing new life is that life develops too quickly, and they have wrong ideas about changing their lives. Therefore, the young generation should help their parents adapt to new life.