People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that countries should produce their own food for their citizens and reduce the amount of food that is imported. Personally, I partly agree with this point of view.
Firstly, a country producing its own food has the benefit of reducing the amount it spends on imports, which has a positive effect economically in the long term. This is a huge improvement for countries that are still in the developing state since it not only help prevent famines, it also raise people quality’s of life and can even exports to other countries like Vietnam. Moreover, it will create more job opportunities for local people in farming and food processing industries, leading to a reduction in unemployment rates and contribute more to the nation’s economy.
On the other hand, this idea might not be possible for some countries .Nations in temperate zones or in the equatorial region such as Russia, Canada, India have a poor farming industry because of the harsh weather.For example, India can’t grow food because of the ferquence drought make the soil unliveable for plants and snow in russia limit the range of plants they can grow , so if they try to improve farming, it will cost them a lot of time and effort.
In conclusion, based on above discussion about the pros and cons of the statement, if we don’t act now, society will be in grave trouble. Tackling this problem depends not only on government ‘s effort but also on individual ‘s effort to produce enough food easier than ever

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some people believe" -> "Some individuals contend"
Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal and precise term than "believe," which is often too casual for academic writing.
"Personally, I partly agree" -> "I partially concur"
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," and "partially" is more precise than "partly" in academic contexts.
"huge improvement" -> "significant improvement"
Explanation: "Significant" is more academically appropriate than "huge," which can sound informal and vague.
"it not only help prevent famines" -> "it not only helps prevent famines"
Explanation: "Helps" should be in the singular form to agree with the singular subject "it."
"raise people quality’s of life" -> "enhance the quality of life"
Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise and formal than "raise," and "quality of life" should be a compound noun.
"can even exports to other countries like Vietnam" -> "can even export to other countries such as Vietnam"
Explanation: "Export" should be in the base form, and "such as" is more formal than "like" in academic writing.
"it will create more job opportunities" -> "this will create additional job opportunities"
Explanation: "Additional" is more precise than "more," and it maintains a formal tone.
"leading to a reduction in unemployment rates" -> "resulting in a decrease in unemployment rates"
Explanation: "Resulting in" is more formal and precise than "leading to," and "decrease" is preferred over "reduction" in this context.
"On the other hand, this idea might not be possible for some countries" -> "However, this idea may not be feasible for certain countries"
Explanation: "However" is a more formal transition than "On the other hand," and "feasible" is more precise than "possible."
"Nations in temperate zones or in the equatorial region" -> "Nations in temperate and equatorial regions"
Explanation: "And" is more appropriate than "or" for listing multiple regions, and "regions" should be plural to encompass multiple types of regions.
"can’t grow food because of the ferquence drought" -> "cannot cultivate food due to frequent droughts"
Explanation: "Cannot" is more formal than "can’t," and "cultivate" is more precise than "grow" in this context. "Frequent droughts" is grammatically correct and clearer than "ferquence drought."
"snow in russia limit the range of plants they can grow" -> "snow in Russia limits the range of crops they can cultivate"
Explanation: "Limits" should be in the singular form to agree with the singular subject "snow," and "crops" is more specific than "plants," and "cultivate" is more formal than "grow."
"it will cost them a lot of time and effort" -> "it will require significant time and effort"
Explanation: "Require" is more formal and precise than "cost," and "significant" is preferred over "a lot of" for academic writing.
"society will be in grave trouble" -> "society faces severe consequences"
Explanation: "Faces severe consequences" is a more formal and precise expression than "will be in grave trouble."
"Tackling this problem depends not only on government ‘s effort" -> "Addressing this issue relies not only on governmental efforts"
Explanation: "Addressing" is more formal than "tackling," and "relies" is more precise than "depends." "Governmental" is the correct adjective form for "government."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of countries producing their own food. The author expresses a partial agreement with the statement, which indicates an understanding of the complexity of the issue. However, the response could be more balanced; while the benefits of local food production are discussed in detail, the drawbacks are somewhat underexplored. For instance, the mention of harsh weather conditions affecting farming in certain countries is relevant but lacks depth and specific examples.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both sides of the argument are equally developed. This could involve providing more examples of countries that successfully produce their own food and discussing the implications of reliance on imports. Additionally, exploring the potential consequences of not producing food locally could provide a more comprehensive view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a clear position of partial agreement, but this stance could be articulated more consistently throughout the text. The introduction and conclusion reflect this position, yet the body paragraphs sometimes waver between supporting and opposing viewpoints without clear transitions or signposting. For example, the transition from the benefits of local production to the challenges faced by certain countries could be smoother.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should use explicit language to indicate their stance throughout the essay. Phrases such as "While I agree that…" or "However, it is also important to consider…" can help clarify the writer’s viewpoint. Additionally, using topic sentences that reflect the main argument of each paragraph can reinforce the overall position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some relevant ideas, particularly regarding the economic benefits of local food production and job creation. However, these ideas are not fully extended or supported with sufficient evidence. For instance, the claim that local food production can improve quality of life is made but not elaborated upon with specific examples or data. The mention of Vietnam as an example of a successful exporter is also vague and lacks context.
- How to improve: To strengthen the development of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and data to support their claims. This could include statistics on employment rates in agriculture or specific case studies of countries that have benefited from increased local food production. Additionally, exploring counterarguments in more depth could enrich the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of food production versus imports. However, there are moments where the argument strays slightly, particularly in the conclusion, which introduces a somewhat unrelated notion about societal troubles without clearly linking it back to the main argument. The phrase "if we don’t act now, society will be in grave trouble" feels abrupt and lacks a clear connection to the preceding discussion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made in the conclusion directly relate back to the main argument presented in the essay. A more effective conclusion would summarize the key points made in the body paragraphs and reiterate the writer’s position without introducing new ideas. This will help reinforce the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear position, it would benefit from a more balanced exploration of both sides of the argument, clearer articulation of the position throughout, more detailed support for ideas, and a more focused conclusion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the benefits and drawbacks of countries producing their own food. The introduction outlines the writer’s stance, and the body paragraphs each address different aspects of the argument. However, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of local food production to the challenges faced by certain countries feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that connect ideas more fluidly. For example, after discussing the benefits, you could introduce the challenges with a phrase like, "However, it’s important to recognize that not all countries can feasibly produce their own food due to environmental constraints." This would help create a more cohesive narrative.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s position, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into specific points. However, the second body paragraph lacks a clear topic sentence that encapsulates its main idea, making it less effective.
- How to improve: Start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of that paragraph. For example, the second body paragraph could begin with, "Despite the advantages of local food production, many countries face significant agricultural challenges." This would provide a clearer structure and guide the reader through your argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Moreover," and "On the other hand," which help to organize the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be stronger. For example, the phrase "this idea might not be possible for some countries" could be better linked to the previous discussion about the benefits of local production.
- How to improve: To diversify and enhance the effectiveness of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, you could use "In contrast," "Furthermore," or "Consequently" to create clearer connections between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain the flow of the argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, addressing these areas for improvement will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, with terms like "economically," "unemployment rates," and "farming industry." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "produce their own food" and "reduce the amount of food that is imported." This limits the overall lexical variety and sophistication expected at higher band scores.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "produce," alternatives like "cultivate," "grow," or "generate" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text, such as "significantly reduce" instead of just "reduce."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "help prevent famines" is clear, but "raise people quality’s of life" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The term "unliveable" is also a non-standard form; the correct term would be "uninhabitable."
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choice for clarity and correctness. The writer should consider rephrasing "raise people quality’s of life" to "improve the quality of life for people." Additionally, using standard forms of words and ensuring grammatical accuracy will enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "ferquence" instead of "frequent," "unliveable" instead of "uninhabitable," and "russia" should be capitalized as "Russia." These mistakes detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should practice proofreading their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can aid in improving spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, enhancing word choice, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "Firstly," and "On the other hand," indicates an attempt to organize ideas logically. However, the majority of sentences tend to be straightforward and lack complexity. For instance, phrases like "this is a huge improvement for countries that are still in the developing state" could be restructured to include more varied clauses, enhancing the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying, "This is a huge improvement for countries that are still in the developing state," you could say, "This approach not only represents a significant improvement for developing countries but also helps to stabilize their economies." Additionally, using varied sentence beginnings and transitions can help create a more engaging flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For instance, "help prevent famines, it also raise people quality’s of life" should be corrected to "helps prevent famines and also raises people’s quality of life." The incorrect use of "quality’s" indicates a misunderstanding of possessive forms. Furthermore, there are missing spaces after periods, such as "countries .Nations," which disrupts readability.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully. Focus on subject-verb agreement, ensuring that verbs match their subjects in number and tense. Additionally, practice using possessive forms correctly and ensure that punctuation marks are followed by appropriate spacing. It may be beneficial to review basic grammar rules and consider using grammar-checking tools to identify errors before finalizing the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in sentence variety and grammatical accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Engaging with more complex structures and refining grammatical skills will significantly enhance the quality of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals contend that countries should produce their own food for their citizens and reduce the amount of food they import. Personally, I partially concur with this perspective.

Firstly, a country producing its own food has the benefit of decreasing the expenditure on imports, which can have a positive impact on the economy in the long term. This is a significant improvement for nations that are still developing, as it not only helps prevent famines but also enhances the quality of life for citizens. Additionally, these countries can even export to other nations, such as Vietnam. Moreover, this will create additional job opportunities for local people in the farming and food processing industries, resulting in a decrease in unemployment rates and contributing more to the nation’s economy.

On the other hand, this idea may not be feasible for certain countries. Nations in temperate and equatorial regions, such as Russia, Canada, and India, often struggle with a poor farming industry due to harsh weather conditions. For example, India cannot cultivate food effectively because frequent droughts render the soil unlivable for plants, while snow in Russia limits the range of crops they can grow. Therefore, if these countries attempt to improve their farming capabilities, it will require significant time and effort.

In conclusion, based on the discussion of the pros and cons of this statement, if we do not act now, society faces severe consequences. Addressing this issue relies not only on governmental efforts but also on individual initiatives to produce enough food more efficiently than ever.