people who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV .To what extent do you agree or disagree

While some groups believe that relaxing by reading books results in an admirable imagination rather than watching TV, I still partially agree with this idea due to several features of reading.

Reading requires active engagement in mental processes such as visualisation and interpretation. Readers must create their mental images of characters through descriptive language and unique experiences to fill in details that may not be are described meticulously in books. These activities foster their cognitive skills and encourage individuals to explore the plot from various perspectives to comprehend all layers of meanings thoroughly. As a result, people can enrich their imagination instead of passively inputting a particular image like when watching TV. Moreover, diving into books in their free time provides readers more chances to concentrate on their interests than watching TV because they can focus and immerse themselves in a story for an extended period while conversations and plots of movies tend to be rushed. This is why audiences possess less time for contemplation and imagination than readers. , as well as their skills are dulled.

However, amidst this competitive landscape there is increasing attention on the a limitations of books. While books provide narratives and vivid descriptions, there is a risk of constraining individuals' imaginations within the confines of authors' creations. Although books can boost one's imagination, nurturing it also requires exploring beyond the pages. TV on the other hand, could provide experiences through multimedia platforms such as sounds, etc…Therefore, people need to actively seek out new experiences and embrace opportunities to grow instead of imposing one's stereotypes about an object. For example, the Little Mermaid in fairy tales is often described with red hair and white skin in Western nations, and people accept the image without any questions. As a result, they conceive a fixed description of about this mythical character and protest the availability of a coloured skin mermaid.

In conclusion, it is partially true that reading books in free time can improve one's imagination more than those who watch TV and to be fully developed they have to engage in more experiences.

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Errors and Improvements:

"relaxing by reading books results in an admirable imagination rather than watching TV" -> "engaging in reading books cultivates a commendable imagination as opposed to watching TV"
Explanation: The phrase "engaging in reading books" replaces "relaxing by reading books" to imply a more active participation, which is more suitable in academic discourse. "Cultivates" and "as opposed to" are more formal than "results in" and "rather than," enhancing the academic tone.
"I still partially agree with this idea due to several features of reading." -> "I concur with this notion to some extent, attributable to multiple aspects of reading."
Explanation: "I concur with this notion to some extent" is a more formal expression than "I still partially agree with this idea." Also, "attributable to multiple aspects" sounds more precise and academic than "due to several features."
"may not be are described meticulously" -> "may not be described meticulously"
Explanation: This correction removes a typographical error, improving the grammaticality and clarity of the sentence.
"foster their cognitive skills" -> "enhance their cognitive abilities"
Explanation: "Enhance" and "abilities" are more precise and formal terms compared to "foster" and "skills," aligning better with academic writing standards.
"diving into books in their free time" -> "immersing themselves in literature during their leisure"
Explanation: "Immersing themselves in literature" and "during their leisure" are phrases that convey a more formal and scholarly tone than "diving into books in their free time."
"they can focus and immerse themselves" -> "they are able to concentrate and delve deeply"
Explanation: "Are able to concentrate and delve deeply" provides a more formal expression, replacing the more casual "can focus and immerse themselves."
"conversations and plots of movies tend to be rushed." -> "dialogue and plot development in films often appear hurried."
Explanation: "Dialogue and plot development" are more specific and formal terms than "conversations and plots." Also, "often appear hurried" is academically more acceptable than "tend to be rushed."
"as well as their skills are dulled." -> "which can also dull their analytical skills."
Explanation: The phrase "which can also dull their analytical skills" offers a clearer and more formal alternative, integrating smoothly with the previous sentence structure.
"amidst this competitive landscape there is increasing attention on the a limitations of books." -> "within this competitive milieu, there is growing scrutiny over the limitations of books."
Explanation: "Within this competitive milieu" and "growing scrutiny over" replace less formal phrasing with more scholarly language appropriate for academic writing.
"could provide experiences through multimedia platforms such as sounds, etc…" -> "can offer experiences through multimedia elements including sound."
Explanation: Replacing "could" with "can" asserts more certainty, and specifying "including sound" instead of "such as sounds, etc…" eliminates casual language and improves formality.
"conceive a fixed description of about this mythical character" -> "form a static perception of this mythical character"
Explanation: "Form a static perception" is a more precise and formal way of expressing "conceive a fixed description of," eliminating redundant phrasing and enhancing academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the benefits of reading for imagination while also recognizing limitations and potential benefits of TV viewing. It discusses the necessity for individuals to engage in diverse experiences to fully develop their imagination.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, ensure that each point made directly connects back to the prompt. Also, consider providing more explicit examples or evidence from the essay to support the analysis of how well each part of the prompt is addressed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that partially agrees with the statement, providing reasons for this stance. However, at times, the position seems slightly ambiguous due to the acknowledgment of the benefits of both reading and TV viewing for imagination.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of the position by consistently reinforcing the partial agreement stance throughout the essay. Emphasize the reasons for this stance and avoid statements that could undermine the clarity of the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, providing examples and explanations to support them. It extends the discussion by exploring the cognitive processes involved in reading and the potential limitations of books for imagination.
- How to improve: To further enhance the depth of analysis, delve deeper into the examples provided and connect them more explicitly to the main arguments. Additionally, consider offering counterarguments to strengthen the overall discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, discussing the comparison between reading and TV viewing for imagination. However, there are some instances where the discussion slightly veers off topic, such as the example of the Little Mermaid.
- How to improve: Maintain a tighter focus on the central theme of the prompt throughout the essay. Avoid introducing tangential examples or discussions that do not directly contribute to the analysis of reading versus TV viewing for imagination.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a well-structured argument with clear examples and explanations. To improve, it could strengthen the clarity and consistency of its position, provide more explicit connections to the prompt throughout, and maintain a tighter focus on the central theme.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of logical organization. Each paragraph presents a distinct point of view, with clear topic sentences. However, there are instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition between the first and second paragraphs could be improved to enhance the coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next, with clear transitions between ideas. Consider using linking words or phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, provide a stronger overarching structure to guide the reader through the progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize different aspects of the argument. Each paragraph addresses a specific point, and topic sentences help to establish the focus of each paragraph. However, there are areas where the structure could be refined for greater clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its main idea, avoiding unnecessary tangents or deviations. Additionally, consider varying the length and structure of paragraphs to create a more dynamic and engaging flow of ideas. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main point of each paragraph and provide smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transition words such as "while," "moreover," and "however," which help to signal shifts in argumentation. Additionally, pronouns and demonstrative adjectives are used effectively to reference previous points and maintain continuity.
- How to improve: To further enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structures, and repetition of key terms or concepts. This will help to reinforce connections between ideas and create a more cohesive and tightly knit argument. Additionally, pay attention to the placement and frequency of cohesive devices to ensure they are used consistently throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied terminology. For instance, phrases such as "active engagement," "cognitive skills," "immersing themselves," and "constraining individuals’ imaginations" showcase a grasp of diverse vocabulary. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more expansive and nuanced, lacking depth in exploration. For example, phrases like "this idea," "competitive landscape," and "nurturing it also requires" could be replaced with more specific and expressive language.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, it’s advisable to incorporate more specialized terminology related to the topic. For instance, instead of using general phrases like "this idea," provide more specific descriptors or synonyms. Additionally, employing idiomatic expressions or literary devices can add richness to the language. Revisiting the essay to replace common phrases with more unique vocabulary will contribute to a wider lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use vocabulary with precision, although there are instances where clarity could be improved. For example, in the phrase "amidst this competitive landscape," the term "competitive landscape" could be ambiguous without further context. Additionally, there are areas where word choice could be more exact, such as using "stereotype" in the context of the Little Mermaid example, which may not be the most precise term for the situation described.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, aim to select words that accurately convey the intended meaning without ambiguity. Consider the context in which the word is used and ensure it aligns closely with the message being communicated. In cases where a term might be ambiguous or imprecise, provide additional clarification or choose a more fitting synonym to convey the intended meaning more accurately.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with few noticeable errors. However, there are a couple of instances where minor spelling mistakes occur, such as "a limitations" (should be "the limitations") and "about this mythical character and protest the availability" (awkward phrasing). These errors do not significantly detract from the overall comprehension but indicate room for improvement in proofreading.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, it’s beneficial to review the essay carefully after writing to identify and correct any spelling errors. Utilizing spell-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help in identifying and rectifying spelling mistakes. Additionally, paying attention to commonly misspelled words and practicing their correct usage can contribute to improved spelling skills over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures. It employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. For instance, there are instances of complex sentences such as "Reading requires active engagement in mental processes such as visualization and interpretation," which showcases the ability to construct more sophisticated sentences. Additionally, the use of parallel structure is evident in sentences like "As a result, people can enrich their imagination instead of passively inputting a particular image like when watching TV," enhancing the clarity and coherence of ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as compound-complex sentences, to add depth and nuance to your arguments. Additionally, ensure that the transitions between different sentence structures are seamless to maintain the flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are some instances where minor grammatical errors occur, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("activities foster their cognitive skills"), missing articles ("a limitations of books"), and punctuation errors ("while conversations and plots of movies tend to be rushed. This is why audiences possess less time for contemplation and imagination than readers."). These errors, while not pervasive, slightly detract from the overall clarity and precision of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation rules. Proofreading the essay carefully after writing can help identify and correct such errors. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to enhance accuracy further. Remember to review specific grammar rules corresponding to the identified errors to reinforce understanding and application in future writing endeavors.

Bài sửa mẫu

While some argue that engaging in reading books cultivates a commendable imagination as opposed to watching TV, I concur with this notion to some extent, attributable to multiple aspects of reading.

Reading necessitates active engagement in mental processes such as visualization and interpretation. Readers must conjure their mental images of characters through descriptive language and unique experiences to fill in details that may not be described meticulously in books. These activities enhance their cognitive abilities and encourage individuals to explore the plot from various perspectives to comprehend all layers of meanings thoroughly. Consequently, people can enrich their imagination instead of passively absorbing a particular image as with watching TV. Moreover, immersing themselves in literature during their leisure provides readers more opportunities to concentrate and delve deeply into a story for an extended period, while dialogue and plot development in films often appear hurried. This can also dull their analytical skills, as well as their skills are dulled.

However, within this competitive milieu, there is growing scrutiny over the limitations of books. While books provide narratives and vivid descriptions, there is a risk of constraining individuals’ imaginations within the confines of authors’ creations. Although books can boost one’s imagination, nurturing it also requires exploring beyond the pages. TV, on the other hand, can offer experiences through multimedia elements including sound. Therefore, people need to actively seek out new experiences and embrace opportunities to grow instead of forming a static perception of this mythical character. For example, the Little Mermaid in fairy tales is often described with red hair and white skin in Western nations, and people accept the image without any questions. As a result, they conceive a fixed description of this mythical character and protest the availability of a colored skin mermaid.

In conclusion, it is partially true that reading books in free time can improve one’s imagination more than those who watch TV, and to be fully developed, individuals have to engage in more experiences.