Scientists predict in the near future, cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a possible or negative development?
Scientists predict in the near future, cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a possible or negative development?
In modern era, technology plays an vital role in our daily lives. Therefore, unmanned cars are predicted to replace drivers. In my view, this development will bring both pros and cons for mankind and I will explain them in this essay.
It is understandable why scientists are optimistic that computers can play a driving role instead of drivers. Based on the momentous technological leap as it is now, the emergence of self-driving cars is a natural progression. Currently, cars have been installed with automated systems, such as park automatically, lane keeping warning, cruise control. In addition, as the fast-paced technological innovation, unmanned cars are expected to be able to identify its surrounding environment and operate without humans. Progression in researching and developing driverless cars among powerhouses can be mentioned as Tesla, Uber, Google also proves a good prospect for the self-driving cars field.
I believe that the benefits of self-driving vehicles have significant effects on our lives. Firstly, on individuals level, it could help man to move more conveniently, easier and even safer. In fact, individuals are ascribed to almost all traffic accidents, such as speeding, drunk driving or running a red light…With the assistance of unmanned cars, the number of traffic accidents can be significantly reduced. Additionally, the emergence of self-driving cars also helped disabled people or the elderly to move by themselves. Life aside, the emergence of autonomous cars is also a game changer for the economy. For instance, companies could optimize products, delivery costs by using driverless cars in manufacture and it indirectly boosts economic growth. However, this technological advancement also has some drawbacks. In some cases, computers could not solve all unexpected problems like slippery roads, emergency situations, or when systems are hacked , which could make it dangerous for people.
In conclusion, technological breakthroughs are mainly the driving force for unmanned cars development and brings safety and convenience in moving, especially the disabled and elderly people. I believe that it will also make a significant contribution to our lives and development of the economy years to come.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In modern era" -> "In the modern era"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "modern era" corrects the grammatical error and enhances the formal tone of the sentence. -
"plays an vital role" -> "plays a vital role"
Explanation: The correct form of "vital" is "a vital," not "an vital," as "a" is used before a vowel sound. -
"predicted to replace" -> "expected to replace"
Explanation: "Expected" is a more precise and formal term than "predicted" in this context, fitting better in an academic essay. -
"In my view" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "From my perspective" is a more formal expression commonly used in academic writing to introduce personal opinions or views. -
"computers can play a driving role" -> "computers can assume a driving role"
Explanation: "Assume" is more precise and formal than "play" in this context, indicating a more active and intentional action. -
"momentous technological leap" -> "significant technological advancements"
Explanation: "Significant technological advancements" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "momentous technological leap," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"cars have been installed with" -> "cars have been equipped with"
Explanation: "Equipped with" is more specific and formal than "installed with," which is less commonly used in this context. -
"as the fast-paced technological innovation" -> "as the rapid technological advancements"
Explanation: "Rapid technological advancements" is a more formal and precise way to describe the pace of technological progress. -
"unmanned cars are expected to be able to identify its surrounding environment" -> "unmanned cars are expected to be able to identify their surrounding environments"
Explanation: Corrects the possessive pronoun "its" to "their" to agree with the plural noun "cars," and changes "environment" to "environments" to be plural and more accurate. -
"Progression in researching and developing driverless cars among powerhouses" -> "Advancements in the research and development of driverless cars by major companies"
Explanation: "Advancements" is more specific and formal than "progression," and "by major companies" clarifies the context better than "among powerhouses," which is vague. -
"have significant effects on our lives" -> "have significant impacts on our lives"
Explanation: "Impacts" is a more precise and formal term than "effects" in this context, aligning better with academic style. -
"it could help man to move more conveniently, easier and even safer" -> "it could facilitate easier and safer travel for individuals"
Explanation: "Facilitate" is more formal and precise than "help," and "easier and safer travel for individuals" is clearer and more grammatically correct than "move more conveniently, easier and even safer." -
"ascribed to almost all traffic accidents" -> "responsible for most traffic accidents"
Explanation: "Responsible for" is a more precise and formal way to express causality in this context than "ascribed to," which is less commonly used in this sense. -
"Life aside" -> "Aside from"
Explanation: "Aside from" is a more formal and grammatically correct phrase than "Life aside," which is incorrect and informal. -
"is also a game changer" -> "also represents a game-changer"
Explanation: "Represents a game-changer" is a more formal and precise expression than "is also a game changer," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"companies could optimize products, delivery costs" -> "companies could optimize product delivery costs"
Explanation: Removing the comma after "products" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and clear. -
"which could make it dangerous for people" -> "which could pose a danger to people"
Explanation: "Pose a danger to" is a more formal and precise way to express potential risks than "make it dangerous for."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing why scientists predict the rise of self-driving cars and evaluating the potential positive and negative impacts of this development. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs provide insights into both the advantages (safety, convenience, economic benefits) and disadvantages (unexpected problems, safety concerns) of autonomous vehicles. However, the connection between the reasons for the prediction and the evaluation of its implications could be more explicitly linked.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include a clearer transition between the prediction and the evaluation of its implications. For example, explicitly stating how the technological advancements lead to both benefits and drawbacks would strengthen the argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both the pros and cons of self-driving cars. However, the position could be clearer. Phrases like "I believe that this development will bring both pros and cons" could be more assertively stated to emphasize the writer’s stance. The conclusion reiterates the benefits but does not decisively lean towards a positive or negative view.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their overall opinion in the conclusion. A more definitive statement about whether they believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks (or vice versa) would provide clarity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the safety benefits of self-driving cars and their economic impact. However, some points lack depth. For instance, while the essay mentions that self-driving cars could reduce traffic accidents, it does not provide specific statistics or studies to support this claim. Additionally, the mention of companies like Tesla and Uber is relevant but could be expanded upon to illustrate their contributions to the technology.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should include specific examples, data, or references to studies that back up their claims. This would not only enhance credibility but also provide a more robust argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of self-driving cars. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the mention of "companies could optimize products, delivery costs" could be more directly tied to the context of self-driving cars rather than manufacturing in general.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central theme of self-driving cars. Avoiding tangential discussions and ensuring that each example clearly ties back to the main argument will help keep the essay on topic.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents relevant ideas, improvements can be made in clarity of position, depth of support, and focus on the topic. By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Task Response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a logical progression of ideas, beginning with an introduction that sets the context for the discussion. The body paragraphs are structured to first outline the optimistic view of self-driving cars, followed by the benefits and drawbacks. However, the transition between the benefits and drawbacks could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the advantages of self-driving cars to their potential dangers feels abrupt and could benefit from a more explicit transition.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that signal a shift in focus, such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," when moving from benefits to drawbacks. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis can help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the topic, such as the technological advancements and the implications for society. However, some paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits is significantly longer than the one addressing the drawbacks, which may give an impression of bias.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced approach by expanding on the drawbacks in a separate paragraph, ensuring that both sides of the argument are given equal weight. This can be achieved by providing more specific examples or elaborating on the potential risks associated with self-driving cars.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In addition," and "However," which help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay occasionally relies on basic connectors, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In contrast," and "Consequently." Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms can help to avoid repetition and enhance the flow of ideas. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "self-driving cars," you could use "these vehicles" or "autonomous vehicles" in subsequent mentions.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "unmanned cars," "automated systems," and "technological innovation." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "self-driving cars" and "emergence of." This limits the overall lexical variety and makes the writing feel less dynamic.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "self-driving cars," you could use "autonomous vehicles" or "driverless technology." Additionally, incorporating more varied adjectives and adverbs could enrich the descriptions, such as using "revolutionary" instead of "momentous" or "significant."
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "on individuals level" should be "on an individual level." Additionally, "ascribed to almost all traffic accidents" is awkward; "attributed to" would be more appropriate. The phrase "the emergence of autonomous cars is also a game changer for the economy" is somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific language.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on context and ensure that phrases are grammatically correct. Reviewing common collocations and idiomatic expressions can also enhance clarity. For instance, instead of saying "the emergence of autonomous cars," you might say "the introduction of autonomous vehicles," which is clearer and more precise.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "an vital role" (should be "a vital role") and "its surrounding environment" (should be "their surrounding environment" when referring to cars). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, practice proofreading your work before submission. Utilize spell-check tools and read the essay aloud to catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can be beneficial for ongoing improvement.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will help elevate the lexical resource score. Focusing on these areas will enhance clarity and sophistication in your writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, phrases like "In modern era, technology plays an vital role in our daily lives" and "the emergence of self-driving cars is a natural progression" show an attempt to use different structures. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as conditional sentences or varied subordinate clauses.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use conditional clauses (e.g., "If self-driving cars become widely adopted, they could significantly reduce traffic accidents"). Additionally, varying sentence openings can create a more engaging flow. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "In addition" or "Firstly," try using transitions like "Moreover," "Furthermore," or "On the other hand" to introduce new ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For instance, "an vital role" should be "a vital role," and "on individuals level" should be "on an individual level." The use of commas is inconsistent, as seen in "hacked , which could make it dangerous for people," where the space before the comma is incorrect. Additionally, the phrase "cars have been installed with automated systems" could be more clearly expressed as "cars are now equipped with automated systems."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on common articles and prepositions, ensuring they are used correctly (e.g., "a" vs. "an"). Regular practice with punctuation rules, especially regarding comma usage, will also help. Reading more complex texts can provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation in context. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for typographical errors and grammatical inconsistencies before submission can significantly enhance overall accuracy.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy, reflecting a more sophisticated command of the English language.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the modern era, technology plays a vital role in our daily lives. Therefore, unmanned cars are predicted to replace human drivers. From my perspective, this development will bring both advantages and disadvantages for mankind, and I will explain them in this essay.
It is understandable why scientists are optimistic that computers can assume a driving role instead of human drivers. Given the significant technological advancements we are witnessing today, the emergence of self-driving cars is a natural progression. Currently, cars have been equipped with automated systems, such as automatic parking, lane-keeping warnings, and cruise control. In addition, as the rapid technological advancements continue, unmanned cars are expected to be able to identify their surrounding environments and operate without human intervention. Advancements in the research and development of driverless cars by major companies like Tesla, Uber, and Google further demonstrate the promising prospects for the self-driving car industry.
I believe that the benefits of self-driving vehicles will have significant impacts on our lives. Firstly, on an individual level, it could facilitate easier, more convenient, and even safer travel. In fact, humans are responsible for most traffic accidents, including speeding, drunk driving, and running red lights. With the assistance of unmanned cars, the number of traffic accidents could be significantly reduced. Additionally, the emergence of self-driving cars also helps disabled individuals and the elderly to travel independently. Aside from personal benefits, the rise of autonomous cars also represents a game-changer for the economy. For instance, companies could optimize product delivery costs by utilizing driverless cars in their operations, which could indirectly boost economic growth. However, this technological advancement also has some drawbacks. In certain situations, computers may not be able to solve unexpected problems, such as slippery roads, emergency scenarios, or when systems are hacked, which could pose a danger to people.
In conclusion, technological breakthroughs are primarily the driving force behind the development of unmanned cars, bringing safety and convenience, especially for disabled and elderly individuals. I believe that it will also make a significant contribution to our lives and the development of the economy in the years to come.