select and report

The given charts measure the means of reading news in the UK and Brazil. It is clear that brazilians have trend of reading online newspaper most while other ways are all lower than in UK
Online news is read by little over a half of Brazilians, which is higher than mere under 20 %. On the other hand, the majority of Britishes watching TV to read news accounts for 41% and higher than it in Brazil, a little bit about 4%.
People in UK who use Radio, Print newspaper, occupied respectively 15% and 7%. This amount is 8% and 5 % higher than it in Brazil. Finally, the tiny minority of ways to read news in both nations are 2% and 1%

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given charts measure the means of reading news" -> "The provided charts illustrate the methods of news consumption"
Explanation: "Illustrate" is a more precise verb for presenting data in charts, and "methods of news consumption" is a more formal and accurate term than "means of reading news."
"brazilians have trend of reading online newspaper most" -> "Brazilians tend to read online newspapers most frequently"
Explanation: "Tend to" is a more appropriate modal expression for indicating a tendency, and "online newspapers" should be plural to match the plural form "most." Additionally, "most frequently" is more precise than "most."
"other ways are all lower than in UK" -> "other methods are significantly lower than in the UK"
Explanation: "Significantly lower" is a more formal and precise way to describe the comparative difference, and "the UK" should be capitalized as it refers to the country.
"little over a half" -> "slightly more than half"
Explanation: "Slightly more than half" is a more formal and clear way to express a percentage slightly above 50%.
"mere under 20 %" -> "just under 20 %"
Explanation: "Just" is a more formal alternative to "mere" in academic writing, and the space before the percent sign is necessary for proper punctuation.
"Britishes" -> "British"
Explanation: "British" should not be pluralized as it refers to the nationality, not a group of people.
"a little bit about 4%" -> "approximately 4%"
Explanation: "Approximately" is more precise and formal than "a little bit about," which is colloquial and vague.
"People in UK who use Radio, Print newspaper, occupied respectively" -> "In the UK, people use radio, print newspapers, respectively"
Explanation: Reorganizing the sentence improves readability and eliminates the awkward phrasing. "Respectively" should be used after the list, not after the verb.
"This amount is 8% and 5 % higher than it in Brazil" -> "These figures are 8% and 5% higher than those in Brazil"
Explanation: "These figures" is more precise and formal than "This amount," and "those" correctly refers back to the previously mentioned numbers.
"tiny minority of ways to read news in both nations are 2% and 1%" -> "small minority of methods of news consumption in both nations are 2% and 1%"
Explanation: "Small minority" is a more precise term than "tiny minority," and "methods of news consumption" is more specific and formal than "ways to read news."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the majority of Britishes watching TV to read news accounts for 41% and higher than it in Brazil, a little bit about 4%." This is not a clear comparison of the data. The essay also states that "the tiny minority of ways to read news in both nations are 2% and 1%." This is not a clear overview of the data.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by focusing on the key features/bullet points of the data, rather than on the details. For example, the essay could state that "the most popular way to read news in Brazil is online, while the most popular way to read news in the UK is through television." The essay could also state that "the percentage of people who read news online in Brazil is significantly higher than the percentage of people who read news online in the UK."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are notable issues with overall progression and clarity. The ideas are not always logically sequenced, leading to confusion in understanding the comparisons between the UK and Brazil. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, such as "On the other hand" and "Finally," these are not always used effectively, resulting in a lack of coherence. Additionally, the paragraphing is inadequate; the essay does not clearly separate different ideas or comparisons, which further detracts from its overall clarity.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Using a wider range of cohesive devices more effectively can help to clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, improving the clarity of referencing and ensuring that comparisons are explicitly stated will aid in creating a more coherent flow. Finally, proper paragraphing should be employed to separate distinct ideas and comparisons, making the essay easier to follow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey information about the reading habits in the UK and Brazil, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "brazilians have trend" instead of "Brazilians have a trend," and "Britishes" which is not a standard term. Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "accounts for 41% and higher than it in Brazil," which lacks clarity. These issues may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended message.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to expand their vocabulary by incorporating more varied and sophisticated lexical items. This includes using correct terms for nationalities (e.g., "British" instead of "Britishes") and improving grammatical structures. Additionally, practicing the use of less common vocabulary and ensuring accurate word choice and collocation will help convey precise meanings. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors will also improve overall clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. While there are some accurate structures, frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present, which can cause difficulty for the reader. For example, phrases like "brazilians have trend" and "the majority of Britishes watching TV to read news accounts for 41%" contain grammatical inaccuracies that detract from clarity. Additionally, punctuation errors are evident, such as inconsistent spacing and missing articles, which further impact the overall coherence of the writing.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures to improve the overall sophistication of the writing.
Grammar and Vocabulary: Review and practice the correct use of articles, subject-verb agreement, and plural forms to reduce grammatical errors.
Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules to ensure clarity and coherence, particularly with commas and spacing.
Proofreading: Take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct errors before submission, which can help improve overall accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given charts illustrate the methods of reading news in the UK and Brazil. It is clear that Brazilians have a tendency to read online newspapers the most, while other methods are all less prevalent than in the UK.

Online news is read by just over half of Brazilians, which is significantly higher than the mere 20% in the UK. In contrast, the majority of British people consume news through television, accounting for 41%, which is approximately 4% higher than in Brazil.

In the UK, the use of radio and print newspapers occupies 15% and 7% of news consumption, respectively. These figures are 8% and 5% higher than those in Brazil. Finally, the smallest proportions of news consumption in both countries are represented by other methods, at 2% in the UK and 1% in Brazil.