Some feel that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is contended that individuals should prioritize focusing on the present rather than carefully planning for the future. In this essay, I will challenge this notion and provide reasons.
Planning for the future can equip us with a prepared mindset. Individuals who are impulsive and do not exercise prudence in every action they take may face negative consequences. While it is important to live in the moment, the anxiety regarding potential setbacks and future uncertainties can be mitigated with a clear plan.
Being prepared for the upcoming days can help prevent panic when circumstances unexpectedly change. Those who neglect changing circumstances may struggle to adapt quickly. Since planning is integral to every endeavor, we can mentally visualize each step of the process, anticipate potential obstacles, and envision success. Research conducted in 2014 demonstrates that individuals who plan for the future are more resilient in the face of failure, despite maintaining optimism for the future.
However, it is conceivable that if one's envisioned future becomes a negative reality, it could result in self-disillusionment. Disappointment and despair due to unforeseen outcomes might profoundly alter a person's demeanor.
In conclusion, I disagree with the notion that one should pay more attention to the present. Planning for the future can help individuals reduce stress and prepare for potential dangers.

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Errors and Improvements:

"It is contended that individuals should prioritize focusing on the present" -> "It is argued that individuals should prioritize focusing on the present"
Explanation: "Contended" is less formal and somewhat ambiguous in this context. "Argued" is a more precise and academically appropriate term to introduce a viewpoint.
"In this essay, I will challenge this notion and provide reasons." -> "In this essay, I will refute this notion and provide reasons."
Explanation: "Challenge" may imply a confrontational tone. "Refute" is a stronger term that better aligns with academic discourse, indicating a systematic and thorough rebuttal of the opposing viewpoint.
"impulsive" -> "hasty"
Explanation: "Impulsive" is somewhat colloquial. "Hasty" is a more formal synonym that fits better within academic writing.
"do not exercise prudence" -> "fail to exercise prudence"
Explanation: Adding "fail to" before "exercise prudence" enhances clarity and emphasizes the absence of prudent behavior.
"live in the moment" -> "focus solely on the present"
Explanation: "Live in the moment" is a bit informal. "Focus solely on the present" conveys the same idea in a more formal manner.
"anxiety regarding potential setbacks" -> "concerns about potential setbacks"
Explanation: "Anxiety" is more commonly associated with clinical conditions. "Concerns" is a neutral term that maintains formality.
"circumstances unexpectedly change" -> "circumstances change unexpectedly"
Explanation: Placing "unexpectedly" after "change" improves the flow of the sentence.
"Since planning is integral to every endeavor" -> "Given that planning is integral to every endeavor"
Explanation: "Since" can sometimes imply causation, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Given that" is a clearer and more precise transitional phrase.
"Research conducted in 2014 demonstrates" -> "A study conducted in 2014 demonstrates"
Explanation: "Research" is a broad term that can encompass various types of inquiry. "A study" specifies the type of research, enhancing clarity.
"in the face of failure, despite maintaining optimism for the future" -> "in the face of failure, while still maintaining optimism for the future"
Explanation: Adding "while still" clarifies the simultaneous existence of resilience and optimism.
"it is conceivable that if one’s envisioned future becomes a negative reality" -> "it is conceivable that if one’s envisioned future materializes negatively"
Explanation: "Becomes a negative reality" is slightly awkward. "Materializes negatively" is a smoother alternative.
"it could result in self-disillusionment" -> "it could lead to self-disillusionment"
Explanation: "Result in" can be replaced with "lead to" for a more concise expression of causality.
"Disappointment and despair due to unforeseen outcomes" -> "Disappointment and despair stemming from unforeseen outcomes"
Explanation: "Due to" is replaced with "stemming from" for a more sophisticated and precise connection between cause and effect.
"might profoundly alter a person’s demeanor" -> "might significantly alter a person’s demeanor"
Explanation: "Profoundly" is replaced with "significantly" for a slightly more formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all aspects of the prompt by presenting arguments against the idea of prioritizing the present over planning for the future. It discusses the importance of future planning in mitigating potential risks and stresses the benefits of preparedness. However, it could further enhance its response by explicitly acknowledging the opposing viewpoint and offering a brief rebuttal to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could explicitly acknowledge the opposing viewpoint that prioritizing the present over future planning might have its merits, such as living a more spontaneous and fulfilling life. Offering a brief acknowledgment of this perspective before refuting it would enrich the depth of the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout, arguing against the idea of focusing solely on the present and advocating for future planning. Each paragraph reinforces the central thesis, providing examples and explanations to support the position. However, the introduction could better establish the author’s stance more explicitly to ensure clarity from the outset.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the author could revise the introduction to clearly state their disagreement with the notion of prioritizing the present over future planning. This would set a clear direction for the essay and help readers understand the author’s position from the beginning.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and develops its ideas by providing arguments supported with examples and evidence. It discusses the benefits of future planning, such as reducing stress and enhancing resilience, while also acknowledging potential drawbacks. However, to improve, the essay could further elaborate on how future planning can positively impact various aspects of life beyond just mitigating stress.
- How to improve: To extend ideas, the author could include examples or studies illustrating how future planning contributes to other areas of life, such as career success, personal development, and overall well-being. This would add depth to the argument and strengthen the essay’s persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a focus on the topic throughout, discussing the merits of future planning versus prioritizing the present. It does not deviate into unrelated tangents but remains centered on the theme of time management and decision-making.
- How to improve: To ensure continued relevance to the topic, the author could briefly revisit the central theme in each paragraph to reaffirm its connection to the prompt. This would reinforce the coherence of the essay and further emphasize its relevance to the given topic.

Overall, while the essay effectively argues against prioritizing the present over future planning, it could enhance its response by acknowledging the opposing viewpoint, clarifying the author’s stance from the outset, extending ideas to include broader impacts, and reinforcing relevance to the topic throughout. These improvements would strengthen the essay’s coherence, persuasiveness, and overall effectiveness in addressing the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a coherent structure overall. It starts with a clear thesis statement, followed by supporting arguments and a conclusion. Each paragraph is logically connected to the central argument, progressing from the importance of planning for the future to potential drawbacks, and then concluding with a reaffirmation of the author’s stance.
- How to improve: While the logical organization is generally sound, ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs could enhance coherence. For instance, explicitly connecting each paragraph to the preceding one through transitional phrases or sentences would strengthen the flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into three paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument: the benefits of planning for the future, potential drawbacks, and the author’s conclusion. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and elaborates on its respective point.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraph structure, consider varying the length and complexity of sentences within each paragraph. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its topic without straying into unrelated discussions would enhance clarity and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("In this essay," "However," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("it," "those") to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Additionally, repetition of key terms ("planning for the future") reinforces the central argument throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay utilizes cohesive devices adequately, incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "furthermore," "moreover," "on the other hand") could enrich the text and create smoother transitions between ideas. Moreover, ensuring consistent pronoun reference and avoiding ambiguity would strengthen cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, effectively organizing ideas and utilizing cohesive devices to connect them. To improve further, focus on refining paragraph structure, enhancing transitional elements, and diversifying cohesive devices for a more polished presentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating words such as "contended," "prudence," "mitigated," "endeavor," "resilient," "disillusionment," and "demeanor." These words are aptly utilized to express various ideas and arguments throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While the vocabulary usage is generally strong, incorporating a few more advanced or domain-specific terms could further enhance the depth of lexical resource. Additionally, ensuring the precise contextual usage of vocabulary will strengthen the overall impact of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meanings. For instance, terms like "prudence" and "resilient" are used accurately to discuss the importance of planning and adaptability. However, there are a few instances where more precise word choices could be employed. For example, instead of "negative consequences," using a more specific term like "adverse outcomes" could elevate the precision of expression.
- How to improve: To improve precision, consider substituting general terms with more specific ones where applicable. Additionally, carefully consider the nuances of each word choice to ensure it aligns perfectly with the intended meaning in the context of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally high, with no noticeable errors detracting from readability or comprehension. Words are spelled correctly throughout the essay, indicating a strong grasp of spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain high spelling accuracy, continue practicing and reviewing common spelling rules and patterns. Additionally, utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading thoroughly before submission can help catch any overlooked errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resources, with a wide range of vocabulary employed effectively to convey arguments and ideas. To further enhance lexical resource, focus on incorporating more advanced vocabulary where appropriate, ensuring precision in word choice, and maintaining consistent spelling accuracy. Keep up the good work!

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, including compound sentences ("It is contended that…"), complex sentences ("While it is important to live in the moment…"), and conditional sentences ("Those who neglect changing circumstances…"). These structures contribute to coherence and variety in expression, enhancing the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay already exhibits a diverse range of sentence structures, further enriching the variety by incorporating more complex constructions, such as inversion or parallelism, could elevate the sophistication of the writing. Additionally, strategically integrating rhetorical devices like rhetorical questions or parallel structure can add depth to the argumentation.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy with minimal errors. However, there are a few instances where minor grammatical inaccuracies are present, such as subject-verb agreement ("Research conducted in 2014 demonstrates…") and article usage ("an prepared mindset"). Additionally, a missing comma before introductory clauses ("While it is important to live in the moment…") and a missing comma in compound sentences ("Planning for the future can help individuals reduce stress and prepare for potential dangers.") were noted.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, careful proofreading and revision are essential. Paying close attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage can help eliminate errors. Additionally, ensuring consistency in punctuation, particularly in the use of commas for clarity and cohesion, will further refine the essay’s presentation. Engaging with resources focused on specific grammar rules and practicing sentence structure variations can aid in honing grammatical accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that individuals should prioritize focusing on the present rather than meticulously planning for the future. In this essay, I will challenge this idea and provide reasons.

Planning for the future is crucial as it equips us with a prepared mindset. Individuals who act hastily without exercising prudence may face negative consequences. While living in the moment is important, concerns about potential setbacks and unexpected changes in circumstances can be managed with a clear plan.

Being prepared for the future can help prevent panic when circumstances change unexpectedly. Those who fail to consider changing circumstances may struggle to adapt quickly. Given that planning is integral to every endeavor, we can mentally visualize each step of the process, anticipate potential obstacles, and envision success. A study conducted in 2014 demonstrates that individuals who focus solely on the present may find it challenging to bounce back in the face of failure, while still maintaining optimism for the future.

However, it is conceivable that if one’s envisioned future materializes negatively, it could lead to self-disillusionment. Disappointment and despair stemming from unforeseen outcomes might significantly alter a person’s demeanor.

In conclusion, I disagree with the notion that individuals should prioritize focusing solely on the present. Planning for the future can help individuals reduce stress and prepare for potential dangers, ensuring a more stable and secure path forward.