Some people argue that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people argue that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today’s contemporary workplaces, there is a prevalent belief that employers should adopt an open-minded approach towards employees’ attire because the quality of work should be their primary concern. This essay completely disagrees with this statement on the grounds that a standardized dress code ensures professionalism and effectively promotes productivity and safety for employees.
Firstly, a well-defined uniform significantly influences the company’s professional image. A well-looked attire creates a positive impression and trust among different stakeholders, including customers and investors and signifies attention and professionalism. This is particularly obvious in the aviation industry where employees of global airlines, regardless of their positions, are required to wear uniforms at work. Recognizable uniforms allow passengers to easily seek assistance from their cabin crew during their flight, thereby increasing their trust and confidence in the service.
Another valid reason is that the way employees dress significantly influences their work productivity and morale. Surveys conducted by human resources departments of various multinational businesses concluded that professional attire fosters discipline, responsibility and a sense of belonging among staffs. Specially designed uniforms boost work performance by facilitating movements and enhancing personal safety for staff. Take construction laborers and factory workers as typical examples, their work environment involves so many dangers and risks of injuries that they are required to wear protective clothing and helmets.
In conclusion, companies should implement strict regulations on employees’ dress code, rather than allowing free attire because such practices serve as a key drive to a higher level of safety and productivity while boosting the organization's professionalism and identity.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In today’s contemporary workplaces" -> "In contemporary workplaces today"
   Explanation: Reordering the words improves the flow and naturalness of the phrase, aligning better with formal academic style.

2. "there is a prevalent belief" -> "it is widely believed"
   Explanation: "It is widely believed" is a more formal and concise way to express a general opinion or belief in academic writing.

3. "completely disagrees" -> "strongly disagrees"
   Explanation: "Strongly disagrees" is more precise and academically appropriate than "completely disagrees," which can sound overly emphatic and informal.

4. "a standardized dress code ensures" -> "a standardized dress code guarantees"
   Explanation: "Guarantees" is a stronger, more formal term than "ensures," which is more commonly used in academic contexts to convey a higher level of certainty.

5. "well-looked attire" -> "well-designed attire"
   Explanation: "Well-designed attire" is the correct phrase, as "well-looked" is not a standard term in English.

6. "a positive impression and trust" -> "a positive impression and fostering trust"
   Explanation: Adding "fostering" clarifies the action of creating trust, enhancing the precision of the statement.

7. "signifies attention and professionalism" -> "signifies attention to professionalism"
   Explanation: Adding "to" before "professionalism" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and precise.

8. "Specially designed uniforms" -> "Specifically designed uniforms"
   Explanation: "Specifically" is the correct adverb to use in this context, as it emphasizes the particular nature of the design.

9. "staffs" -> "staff"
   Explanation: "Staff" is the correct noun form, not "staffs," which is a plural form that is not needed here.

10. "boost work performance by facilitating movements and enhancing personal safety for staff" -> "enhance work performance by facilitating movement and ensuring personal safety for staff"
    Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise than "boost" in this context, and "ensuring" is more formal than "enhancing" for safety measures.

11. "Take construction laborers and factory workers as typical examples" -> "Construction laborers and factory workers serve as typical examples"
    Explanation: Reordering the phrase improves the sentence structure and flow, making it more formal and direct.

12. "companies should implement strict regulations on employees’ dress code" -> "companies should enforce strict dress code regulations"
    Explanation: "Enforce" is more specific and formal than "implement" in this context, and rephrasing the sentence structure improves clarity and formality.

13. "such practices serve as a key drive to a higher level of safety and productivity" -> "such practices serve as a key driver of enhanced safety and productivity"
    Explanation: "Driver" is the correct term for the noun form, and "enhanced" is more precise than "higher level," aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt effectively by clearly stating a disagreement with the notion that employers should not care about employee attire. The introduction outlines the stance and the reasons supporting it, which are further developed in the body paragraphs. However, while the essay presents strong arguments for maintaining a dress code, it could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, which would provide a more balanced response to the prompt.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, consider briefly acknowledging the argument for allowing casual dress and then refuting it. This could involve discussing potential benefits of casual attire, such as comfort or creativity, before reinforcing the main argument against it.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing against the idea that dress code is unimportant. The use of phrases like "this essay completely disagrees" establishes a strong stance. The arguments presented are logically structured, reinforcing the position effectively. However, the conclusion could be more emphatic in reiterating the essay’s main argument.
  • How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key points more forcefully and reiterating the importance of the dress code in a way that resonates with the reader. This could involve a call to action or a statement about the broader implications of the argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas with relevant examples, such as the aviation industry and the necessity of protective clothing in hazardous jobs. These examples effectively support the claims made about professionalism and safety. However, the essay could benefit from more detailed elaboration on how these factors directly impact productivity and morale, as well as including more varied examples to strengthen the argument.
  • How to improve: To improve, consider adding more statistics or studies that support the claims about productivity and morale. Additionally, including a wider range of industries or contexts could provide a more comprehensive view of the issue.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay stays focused on the topic of dress code and its implications for professionalism and productivity. Each paragraph relates back to the main argument without straying into unrelated areas. However, there are moments where the connection between the examples and the main argument could be clearer, particularly in the discussion of employee morale.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each example explicitly ties back to the central thesis. Adding transitional phrases that link the examples to the main argument can help clarify their relevance and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main argument against the notion that employers should disregard employees’ attire. Each body paragraph focuses on a distinct point: the professional image and the impact on productivity and safety. The progression from one idea to the next is smooth, with each paragraph building on the previous one. For instance, the transition from discussing the professional image in the aviation industry to the impact of attire on productivity is well-executed, maintaining a coherent flow throughout the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider adding a brief overview of the counterargument in the introduction. This would provide a more balanced perspective and prepare the reader for the discussion that follows. Additionally, using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can further reinforce the main ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific argument. The first body paragraph discusses the professional image, while the second addresses productivity and safety. This clear division aids in readability and helps the reader follow the argument without confusion.
  • How to improve: While the paragraphing is effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph has a concluding sentence that summarizes the main point. This would reinforce the argument and provide a smoother transition to the next paragraph. For example, after discussing the impact of attire on productivity, a concluding sentence could succinctly tie back to the overall argument about the importance of a dress code.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Another valid reason," and "In conclusion," which guide the reader through the argument. The use of examples, such as the aviation industry and construction workers, also serves as effective cohesion, linking ideas back to the main thesis. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to enhance the overall fluidity of the essay.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking phrases and conjunctions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Another valid reason," alternatives like "Additionally," or "Furthermore," could be employed. Additionally, using phrases that indicate contrast or concession, such as "While some may argue that…" could provide a more nuanced discussion and enhance cohesion by acknowledging opposing viewpoints.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, meriting a Band Score of 8. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further refine their argument and enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using terms such as "open-minded approach," "standardized dress code," and "professional image." Phrases like "positive impression" and "trust among different stakeholders" reflect an ability to articulate ideas clearly. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied; for example, the repeated use of "employees" and "dress code" could be substituted with synonyms to enhance lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "employees," you could use "staff," "workforce," or "personnel." Additionally, explore using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs to enrich your language, such as "meticulous attention" instead of just "attention."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary accurately, conveying the intended meanings effectively. However, there are a few instances of imprecise usage, such as "well-looked attire," which could be more clearly expressed as "well-presented attire" or "well-groomed attire." The phrase "key drive" is also slightly awkward; "key driver" would be more appropriate in this context.
  • How to improve: Focus on refining word choices for clarity. When you encounter phrases that feel awkward or unclear, take a moment to consider alternatives that might convey your ideas more effectively. Additionally, reviewing common collocations in English can help you choose words that naturally fit together.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the spelling of key vocabulary. Words like "professionalism," "productivity," and "uniforms" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity of the writing.
  • How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing your essay, take a few minutes to read through it carefully, focusing specifically on spelling. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words and practice writing them in context to reinforce correct spelling.

By addressing these areas, you can enhance your lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "the way employees dress significantly influences their work productivity and morale" showcases an understanding of how to construct more intricate ideas. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "A well-looked attire creates a positive impression and trust among different stakeholders" could be restructured to enhance clarity and impact.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases, such as "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Moreover," to connect ideas. Additionally, using passive voice or conditional sentences could add complexity. For example, instead of saying "A well-defined uniform significantly influences the company’s professional image," you might say, "The company’s professional image is significantly influenced by a well-defined uniform."

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, "a well-looked attire" should be "well-looked-after attire" or simply "appropriate attire." Additionally, the phrase "among staffs" should be corrected to "among staff," as "staff" is a collective noun. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "and" in lists.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread for common errors, particularly with noun forms and collective nouns. Additionally, practicing the use of commas in complex sentences will help clarify meaning. For example, in the sentence "Surveys conducted by human resources departments of various multinational businesses concluded that professional attire fosters discipline, responsibility and a sense of belonging among staffs," consider adding a comma before "and" for better readability: "responsibility, and a sense of belonging among staff."

By focusing on these areas, the essay can enhance its grammatical range and accuracy, potentially improving the overall band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary workplaces today, it is widely believed that employers should adopt an open-minded approach towards employees’ attire because the quality of work should be their primary concern. This essay strongly disagrees with this statement on the grounds that a standardized dress code guarantees professionalism and effectively promotes productivity and safety for employees.

Firstly, a well-defined uniform significantly influences the company’s professional image. Well-designed attire creates a positive impression and fosters trust among various stakeholders, including customers and investors, and signifies attention to professionalism. This is particularly evident in the aviation industry, where employees of global airlines, regardless of their positions, are required to wear uniforms at work. Recognizable uniforms allow passengers to easily seek assistance from their cabin crew during their flight, thereby increasing their trust and confidence in the service.

Another valid reason is that the way employees dress significantly influences their work productivity and morale. Surveys conducted by human resources departments of various multinational businesses concluded that professional attire fosters discipline, responsibility, and a sense of belonging among staff. Specifically designed uniforms enhance work performance by facilitating movement and ensuring personal safety for staff. Construction laborers and factory workers serve as typical examples; their work environment involves numerous dangers and risks of injury, necessitating the use of protective clothing and helmets.

In conclusion, companies should enforce strict dress code regulations rather than allowing free attire because such practices serve as a key driver of enhanced safety and productivity while boosting the organization’s professionalism and identity.